The Akatsuki Girl
by Yamouri Kesaki
Summary: Abandoned by her mother, Nayumei has no choice but to run away from the sand village. She gets power from a mysterious man and then joins the Akatsuki group and becomes close with Deidara, but what happens when another boy joins the picture? DeixOCxGaara
1. Chapter 1 Lies My Mother Told Me

"Nayumei!" My mother's voice called. A rather stern and unwelcoming one it was. I ran to where she was in the kitchen with my toy squirrel in hand.

"Can't you put that stupid toy down for a minute!" She yelled as she put her glass of wine on the counter. She began to search through her pouch which contained her money, almost as if she no longer saw me there. The only thing that mattered at that second was to find that money.

"I'll try and be back tomorrow," she said suddenly and walked right past me and straight out the door.

My mom turned to alcohol to solve her problems and she even thinks it'll fight off the depression, but nothing seems to last. My father was killed on a mission two years ago and shortly after my little sister had become ill and passed away. I was only six and already pretty mature for my age. But what do you expect? I basically had to take care of myself while my mother ignored me completely. There were some days where it seemed like everything was going to start getting better, but she always ended up right back into her old habits. I grew up in the sand village, but rarely went outside. Yes, I spent most of my time in my room or cleaning the house. My mom didn't let me socialize with the others. I tightened my grip on my toy squirrel as I knew that I was going to be sleeping alone again, yet another night.

I pushed a stool towards the counter and stood on it to reach a soup that was on the top cabinet. It wasn't the most exciting idea of a meal, but at least it was something that I could make on my own.

**~.::.::.::.::.::.~ A few minutes later ~.::.::.::.::.::.~**

I heard the kids playing outside and pulled back the curtains to see what exactly they were doing. I didn't have any friends. Well, there was that toy squirrel that never left my side. I looked out again and saw a boy with red hair just standing by watching the others play. Not engaging, but looking, just as I was.

"That boy must be like me," I sighed. I decided to go outside to see if I could talk to him and ask if he'd be willing to play, if not with the others, but with me. Since my mother wouldn't be back till the next day I figured it was perfect timing.

I left my squirrel behind deciding that it would be safer for it to stay in, and went through the backdoor and made way towards the boy. Some kids stopped what they were doing and stood staring at me in surprise. The red haired boy looked up at me and was just as shocked and confused as the others.

"Hey," I said with smile that was meant to warm and welcoming. "Why aren't you playing?" I asked. He just stood there with his mouth open. Some kids started to point and whisper and I felt myself suddenly grow nervous.

"Well… no one wants to…" He began, but was suddenly interrupted by some woman that showed up behind me.

"Stay away from that boy, child!" She yelled as she got a hard grip on my arm and pulled me away.

"He is a monster!" She shouted and the boy was suddenly stricken with sadness again. Sand came from nowhere and attacked the woman as his sadness now turned to anger.

"Leave her alone!" He shouted and then another person intervened and made the sand stop just in time. The man called him, Gaara. The name seemed to stick, and I found myself repeating it to myself. I went back to my house not knowing what to think, but still in amazement of what I saw.

"Why did she call him a monster?" I thought to myself as I thought back to his face and how his eyes read "glad". He looked so confused that someone was talking to him so nicely. As if he wasn't used to such treatment or something. Well I knew better than to assume things about people. I hugged my squirrel tight and fell asleep on the couch waiting up for my mother to return.

**~.::.::.::.::.::.~ The next morning~.::.::.::.::.::.~**

I woke up to a loud bang at the door and saw my mother had collapsed. Just barely did she make it through the door.

"Mom!" I screamed suddenly worried that she was seriously injured. I ran to her side and noticed she was out cold. I quickly grabbed a pack of ice and placed it on her forehead after I noticed she was burning up. I began to cry a little for the fear of losing the only family I had left. It wasn't something that I wanted to imagine, but it was. I placed some pillows under her and began to make some soup.

"When you wake up mom, you'll definitely want some of this warm soup," I said quietly as I looked over at her still on the floor. I only wanted her to get better, than I wouldn't be the one taking care of her.

After it was done, I started to clean up the kitchen, hoping it would put her in a good mood. She always got mad at me for no reason, but I knew she didn't mean it. Or at least that's what I would always tell myself. It was the only way to cope. She lost the man she loved after all, and her little girl. That in itself was enough of weight to place on someone's shoulders. But it was sort of a beautiful love story my mother and father had. My mother used to tell it to me back when my father was still around.

They didn't like each other at first. She thought he was self centered and he thought she was the weakest girl in the village. My mother told me she secretly thought he was cute and would randomly make fun of him because she wanted to deny her feelings, but as they grew up she couldn't help, but be so intrigued by him. My mother worked hard to get strong so he would notice her. Little did she know she had already caught his eye a long time ago.

"Love at first sight," My mother used to say while blushing. So one day they got put into a mission together and acted like they would rather be killed than have to work together. My mother had gotten injured very badly and it looked as if she was about to die, but then he went to her side and begged her to live for him and she did. Shortly after that they confessed, fell in love, and started their own family.

My little sister was only two years younger than me. She was so light spirited and happy all the time. She was born with some kind of sickness and wasn't supposed to make it past a year, but she was strong and lived till four. My mother blamed herself for their deaths. She had a feeling something bad would happen on the mission my father was going on, but let him go anyways. She wasn't home the night my sister had her attack and passed. So she tried to block everything, even me.

"Nayumei!" She shouted as she started to sit up.

"Oh mom!" I walked over to her and helped her up. She looked like she would vomit at any moment.

"I made you some soup," I said kindly. I was eager to hear her tell me that I did a good job for the first time.

"I'm not hungry," She said angrily and then went past me and stumbled all the way to her bedroom.

"But… It'll get cold," I said sadly as I looked at the ground.

"I guess I'm eating alone again tonight," I added as I picked up my squirrel and placed it at the other end of the table. I ended up eating both bowls of the soup. When finished, I looked over at the picture of my father and of my sister.

"I wish you guys were here," I said to myself. "Maybe mom would love me then."

**~.::.::.::.::.::.~ A few minutes later~.::.::.::.::.::.~**

I heard a tapping sound coming from the window and woke up just after I had fallen asleep on the table. It continued tapping for a few seconds then stopped. I walked over and pulled back the curtains and saw some kids playing in the streets again. But what I didn't understand was where the tapping sounds had come from.

"It's only nine at night, but why are they out right now?" I whispered. I looked over and saw some kids throwing rocks at my window.

"You like the monster!" They shouted.

"What?" I asked. I then went outside to see what they wanted; not really understanding what it was all about.

"You stupid girl!" They shouted and threw more rocks, only this time aiming them at me. I fell down to my knees and blocked my head with my hands. I felt the impact as they hit against my light skin. I could only flinch, but that didn't lessen the pain.

"STOP!" I screamed. Suddenly the rocks stopped and I looked up and saw the kids starting to run away. I didn't know what had happened, but was glad. I looked around and saw the red haired boy standing behind me. It sent a wave through me that I didn't know how to explain, but was glad to see someone on my side. I held back the tears as I examined my bruises and cuts. He stepped back when he saw my blood dripping, which only seemed to puzzle me.

"What's wrong?" I asked, shocked at what he was doing. He placed his hands on his head and started to walk off. Like he was sick or something, the urgency was written all over his face.

"Wait!" I shouted and I reached out to him so he could touch my hand. He stopped and only stared at me. The same look that he gave me before.

"Gaara…" I said quietly as an attempt to calm him down. I remembered the last time I saw him and how sand had come out of nowhere, but then that man made it seem like Gaara used the sand to attack. I had heard stories about it, but never thought much about it.

"Nayumei!" My mother shouted suddenly.

"I told you, you are not allowed outside of the house!" She yelled angrily. She looked over at Gaara and gasped. Then she became even angrier as she repeated what that lady had told me. To stay away.

"Get inside now!" She shouted even louder. I stayed put and examined Gaara from head to toe. I didn't understand, he was just a kid like me. Why did everyone treat him so badly? It was only because of that that he got angry at them. I saw the sorrow in his eyes, and wanted to tell him that I felt the same way. But then he began to walk away as my mother said something that I ignored.

"Wait!" I called after him and he turned around once again to face me.

"Thank you," I said with an attempt of a smile. His eyes widened and he only stared silently, as I stood back on my feet.

"NOW!" She shouted again. I quickly ran into the house, but looked back once more at the red haired boy before my mother slammed the door.

"Why don't you listen!" She yelled and shoved me. I fell to my side as she started to cry. I stayed silent and stared at the ground as she left to her room with her hands placed on her forehead.

"She's been drinking as usual," I said bitterly and brushed myself off. I examined my face and noticed the gash on my cheek that had still been bleeding. I started to rinse my face and then held a napkin against it for awhile, not knowing what else I could do for it. I knew better than to ask my mother for help.

"Why does everyone fear Gaara?" I asked myself as I continued to examine my face in the mirror. My green eyes were red and watery from crying earlier. I then redid my brown pigtails and went back into the living room to rest.

**~.::.::.::.::.::.~ A few minutes later~.::.::.::.::.::.~**

My mother went into the kitchen and mumbled something to herself. I watched silently until she began throwing glasses everywhere. I sat up only watching as she soon stopped then fell to the floor and began to sob.

"I don't want to live like this anymore," I whispered to myself as I grabbed my squirrel and went to my room. My mother called my name again and this time I ignored her and locked my door. After a few times of calling she finally stopped. I placed my head between my knees and hid in my closet just incase she tried to get in. I left the window open so it looked as if I snuck out. A few moments later, she threw a glass at my door and then I heard the front door open. She slammed it and I knew she had left again. I went back into the kitchen and started to clean the mess she made and left behind.

**~.::.::.::.::.::.~ The next morning~.::.::.::.::.::.~**

My mother must have came back in the middle of the night and then passed out on the couch. Her eyes were red from crying. I rubbed my eyes before noticing there were suitcases packed by the couch.

"Mom?" I asked. She lifted her head and then sank it back down.

"Do you want something to eat?" I asked. She shook her head and told me to quiet down.

I started to prepare a wet rag to place on her head and saw she was already sitting up. She looked pretty sober right then. For a few moments we both didn't say anything. She only stared at the ground as if she had become lost in thought. Suddenly she stood, and grabbed a hold of the suitcases before looking over at me.

"Are we moving?" I asked suddenly feeling a sense of urgency.

"No," She said wearily.

"Are we going on a trip?" I asked. She shook her head and put the cases by the door. She then went into the kitchen and made herself a cup of tea.

I sat there patiently wondering what the suitcases were for. I watched her drink her tea and observed how the depression made her look so frail. She then rinsed her cup and smiled at me. It was the first time she smiled in a very long time; it almost seemed sincere.

"Thank you Nayumei," She said in such a tone that I hadn't heard in awhile. It was calm and meant to be soothing. "I'm sorry I was a bad mother," She added as she picked up her suitcases and opened the door.

"Mom where are you going?" I shouted and stoop up, then slowly began to walk towards her. Her expression changed and she remained silent at first.

"I promise I'll be back," She said.

"Promise?" I added. I tightened my grip on my squirrel.

She nodded and headed out the door. I sat in the middle of the living room and waited for her to return. She never came back.


	2. Chapter 2 Seeking a New Life

A few months had past and I had been struggling to take care of myself. But of course I was too young to find a job and make money of my own.

"It's not fair," I said quietly. I looked at myself in the mirror and almost began to cry noticing how different I looked. I had lost a lot of weight due to the lack of eating.

I took my squirrel and went for a quick walk outside because staying inside was only making me more miserable. I knew people heard about me living alone. They probably even planned on making me live with some stranger, but that's not what I wanted. I wanted to keep waiting. Some kids walked by and started to point and laugh at me.

"No wonder your mother left you! Look at you!" They shouted. I started to run off covering my ears to avoid hearing their nonsense. It was something that happened a lot now.

"I can't deal with this anymore!" I shouted and started to walk back to my house with tears streaming down my face. I took a seat on a bench and tried to calm myself down first. I wanted to keep waiting, but somehow I knew it would be a waste.

"So it's settled," I said quietly. "I leave tonight. But I want to say goodbye to a few people first." I walked around the village looking for that boy Gaara, but I couldn't find him anywhere. Finally, too exhausted to keep looking I walked to my house and saw some sand Shinobi inside.

"What the?" I started to say as I opened the door. They all turned to look at me as I felt myself go still.

"Are you Nayumei Akada?" They asked. I shook my head yes.

"You need to come with us," They added sternly.

"But why?" I shouted. "I want to stay here!" I told them.

"The Kazekage wants to see you," They added noticing my fear and trying to make me calm. I grabbed my already packed backpack and walked out the door with them. My toy squirrel was glued to my hand.

**~.::.::.::.::.::.~ A few minutes later ~.::.::.::.::.::.~**

We were on our way when the sand Shinobi heard a scream for help somewhere off in the distance. They quickly ran towards it and I decided to go see what was going on as well. I saw Gaara attacking someone, but his face looked so confused. The sand Shinobi yelled at him to stop. He looked over at them and then past them to where I was standing. I was shaking with fear as I our eyes met.

"What is he?" I thought to myself. I started to run towards the village entrance with my backpack while the sand Shinobi tried to settle down Gaara. All their attention was off me. The ninja at the entrance were distracted and I easily snuck past. I took one last look at the village I decided to leave behind. The very place my family left me all alone. The place with that boy named Gaara.

"You lied mother," I said angrily while I clench my fist.

**~.::.::.::.::.::.~ A few months later ~.::.::.::.::.::.~**

"I can't go on any longer," I said weakly. I lost a lot of weight and that was beginning to make an impact. I smelled food from a village near by and decide to go check it out for myself. I easily snuck past the gates and positioned myself high in a tree to observe and noticed a food place close by. No one was watching it, or so I told myself.

"This is my chance!" I thought and jumped down. I filled up my backpack and then took some other things like necklaces and etc... Thinking I could trade them in another village and make some money.

"Hey you!" Someone shouted and startled me. I started to run back to where I first came in, too afraid to look back.

"Someone stop that girl she stole a very important jewel!" They shouted. I suddenly felt stupid and knew I should have just gotten the food and left. I looked to my left and to my right and saw people running towards me. I took off as fast as I could.

"Hey where do you think you are going!" They shouted.

No matter how fast I ran they were still right behind me. I tried to run faster, but since I was weak from not eating for days I began to feel sick. My head started to throb and I just about dropped my backpack. I soon saw a river nearby and knew it was my opportunity. Though I knew jumping in would soak up all the food I just got, I quickly stuffed some in my mouth.

"This is my chance!" I shouted and jumped in without a second thought. I stuck my tongue out at them as I let out a laugh thinking I had beat them.

"Stupid girl! You'll pay!" They shouted. The river seemed to pick up speed and I saw myself drifting farther and farther away from them. They soon disappeared from my sight.

"Where did they go?" I said out loud. It didn't seem to matter though because all the food I just went through the trouble of getting, was soaked. I tried to hold back my tears, and soon noticed I was going even faster. I looked over and heard the sound of water falling and felt fear take over.

"Oh no! A waterfall!" I shouted and I looked for something to grab onto. A big rock was the only thing close enough and so I grabbed a hold of it and felt my legs smash against other rocks nearby. I felt the pain and cried out not knowing how badly they were injured. I began gasping for air as I tried to keep my head from going under the current.

"Help!" I shouted trying to hold my grip, but my hands were slipping. I started to move forward and grabbed onto another rock as quickly as I could.

"Oh no!" I gasped and screamed hoping someone would hear. I then saw logs coming towards me at such a speed that I didn't know how to avoid them. I looked over at where the logs were coming from and saw villagers waving at me. A log hit me in the face and made me lose my hold. I moved forward and soon found myself at the edge. I looked down and saw the huge fall that I knew I wouldn't survive. I was suddenly in mid air, reaching for a rock, but was quickly falling. I looked down and saw the pointy rocks on the spot I would land. I shouted and cried, when suddenly I felt myself fly towards a tree. I opened my eyes and looked up to see a knife holding the strap of my backpack against the tree. I slipped out of the other strap and fell to the ground. My pigtails then came undone and then my short brown hair was in my face.

"Did you really think you were going to get away?" Someone's voice called. I looked up and saw a shadow of a person before it went dark.

**~.::.::.::.::.::.~ A few minutes later ~.::.::.::.::.::.~**

I woke up and felt a pain in my arms and legs. I looked down and saw that I was now tied to a tree.

"What happened?" I asked while I looked around, no one was insight. I then noticed my backpack nearby; it had been opened and emptied.

"HEY!" I shouted angrily and looked for someone again."Somebody better untie me right now!" I shouted. I tried to free myself, but my whole body ached. I thought to myself, if only I was stronger than freeing myself would be so easy. If only I had listened to the sand ninja I wouldn't be stuck in this mess. I'd rather be somewhere hated, then roaming around trying to find a new home.

"Help me!" I started to sob uncontrollably.

"Shut up little brat you should have thought twice before you decided to go around stealing people's things," A man spoke as he came closer to me. I looked at him and noticed he was a rather large man and was carrying a sword. "We should keep you around as a slave to pay back for the jewel you lost in the river!" He shouted harshly.

"I just wanted some food…" I said shyly. He made a fist and threatened to punch me. Four other ninja came and stood in front of me.

"Do you think she knows?" They asked each other. They examined my face silently as I remained still and confused.

"We can't risk it, if she knows then she will surely spread the word," One said.

"Or maybe she was sent here," Said the fat man.

"Even so, she could be of good contribution to the village," Said another. "She looks like a homeless child."

"I think we should just gut her like a fish right here and now!" Yelled the fat man. He took out a knife and made a cut across my cheek. I cried out for him to stop which only made him angrier."Who sent you!" He yelled.

"What are you talking about?" I muffled. He made a fist and punched my stomach. A feeling I never felt and wish I hadn't. I coughed out a gush of blood and looked at the ground somberly.

"You came here for a reason, to steal our precious gem that can help us with our jutsus, and now it's gone!" He shouted and readied to hit me again.

"I didn't mean to!" I shouted angrily. He took a step back and stared at me.

"Whaat is that?" They shouted.

"Huh?" I asked confused. I turned my head and saw a grey snake wrapping itself around my waist and up to my neck. One of the ninja threw a knife at it killing it and stabbing my arm as well. I let out a terrifying scream at the pain. It fell to the ground and soon after my blood started to drip. I then thought back to Gaara and his reaction when he saw my blood. One of the ninja then came towards me and cut me loose from the tree.

"Let's get this over with, kill her quickly," He said while handing the knife over to the other ninja.

"Sure thing boss," He said excitedly and then raised his hand.

"No!" I shouted and closed my eyes. After a few seconds, nothing happened. I opened my eyes and felt utterly confused. The ninja fell to his knees and coughed up blood to my surprise. My eyes widened at the sight and instead of screaming I stared silently not understanding. The other ninja looked just as confused and started to look around cautiously.

"What happened?" They shouted. Then another fell to the ground and gush of blood squirted up and some drops landed my face. I gasped for air and then tried to close my eyes from the horrific sight. I heard the others scream in agonizing pain. Their screams were like knifes to my ears. My heart began to beat fast and soon that became all I could hear.

*Thump* *Thump* *Thump*

"Stop it!" I screamed as I placed my hands over my ears to stop the noise.

"Are you scared my child?" A voice suddenly spoke. It was a different one then the ones I had heard. My heart started to beat even faster. The voice sounded eerie and made the hairs on my neck stand. "There's no need to be scared, it'll be all over soon." I slowly opened my eyes and saw a man with long black hair, white skin, and yellowish snake looking eyes. My heart seemed to have sunken to the bottom of my stomach as I sat there frozen. He placed his hand on my head gently.

"Is it power you seek my child?" He asked with a grin on his face."I can give you all the power you desire, and more," He whispered in my ear and I started to shake.

"You can eat to your hearts content, if you had the power," He started to say. He leaned in closer and I found myself unable to move.

"MOVE!" I told myself. His eyes looked right into mine and it almost seemed like he was sucking my very soul out.

"Do you want that power, my child?" He asked. He moved in the blink of an eye and bit my neck, sinking his fangs into my skin.

I screamed out and felt the pain that was so agonizing I felt it quickly spread throughout my body. I fell to the ground trembling and holding onto my neck with my hand. It felt like my skin was on fire. I let out another scream and continued like this for a few minutes, but the pain wouldn't stop.

"What have you done?" I tried to shout, but it came out as a whisper. He stood over me with a grin on his face.

"Make it stop!" I begged and he turned to face the other way.

"If you are lucky and survive this gift, this curse mark," He started to say. "Then follow me my child, and you'll never go hungry again." He started to walk away and that was when I noticed all the bodies lying around from those fallen ninja. I gasped for air as the pain seemed to get more intense. I let out another scream and laid on my back as I watched the clouds slowly start to float by. I could hear his footsteps getting more and faint. My vision then started to blur and my heart beat seemed to slow down as well. His words repeated in my head over and over again. I could feel myself fading away as I took one last look at the sky before closing my eyes.

**~.::.::.::.::.::.~ a few hours later ~.::.::.::.::.::.~**

"Looks like you made it after all," Said a voice nearby. I slowly opened my eyes and saw a strange man that looked familiar.

"Follow me if you want to live," He said. I stood myself up and began to follow him, not knowing what else to do. He handed me a piece of bread and I started to munch away. Feeling a wash of relieve, after starving for so long. He gave me another one and smirked and then placed his hand on my head.

"It's a long journey home, my child," He finished off. I concentrated on eating the food he gave me and then I look up at him and examined his face. Not remembering what had happened.


	3. Chapter 3 The Curse Mark

"What is your name?" He asked. I just stared into his eyes for there was something about the man's eyes. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but I knew something was off.

"My name…?" I ask confused. I started to think really hard to what my name was. My memories were still a bit fuzzy. I had a headache that was making my whole head throb. It had become hard to even concentrate.

"You have a name don't you?" He asked with a grin on his face.

"Yes…I…" I started to say, but then just looked down at the ground instead as my mind went blank. "How can I not remember my own name?" I thought to myself. We traveled for four days, and all along the way he'd buy me. I was very thankful, yet his eyes continued to bother me. He looked down at me still grinning, and must have noticed that I had been staring at his face. I felt embarrassed and stared at my feet as we continued walking. I didn't even know the man, but followed him for a piece of bread. Suddenly a pain in my neck made me fall to my knees and began to cry while gripping onto my neck.

"What's happening…?" I thought to myself. And then I remembered. "He bit me!" He stood in front of me still grinning as I continued to suffer.

"The curse mark is just adjusting to you is all," He said. I clenched my fist angry that I remember I never asked for such a thing. It had happened so suddenly that I didn't even realize it.

"You've come a long way haven't you?" He asked. The pain had stopped and I sat up and glared at him as he continued. "I can tell by your clothes that you aren't from the waterfall village." I looked down at my outfit and then thought back to the waterfall that could have been my grave. My neck started to hurt again and I let out another scream of pain. Suddenly some ninja came out from some bushes and were dressed just like the other ones from before.

"You monster! You attacked our ninja!"

He just stood there and grinned as the ninja began to walk towards us. They were all starring at me as my whole body began to hurt and I suddenly felt a strange feeling overtake me. It was a feeling that I never experienced before. I stood myself up as they all continued to look at me, wide eyed and mouths opened. A few in the back of the mob started to run away.

"These men mocked me earlier; they pushed me around when I was defenseless…." I heard my voice speak. I appeared in front of them in a flash and I grabbed a hold of one of their necks.

"No!" He begged and I started to squeeze and squeeze with both hands. It was as if I had become possessed. He looked directly into my eyes as the bloods started to come out of his mouth. He tried to pull my hands off, but it was like they were glued. I looked over at the man who took me who was now laughing. I then snapped the neck of the ninja in my hands and it caused the other ninjas to start throwing kunai knives at me. In a flash I took them all out with a single knife. I started to come back into focus and looked around seeing their bodies lying around in puddles of blood.

"Well done, I'm so impressed," He said. "Oh and my name is…Orochimaru, I thought I told you earlier, mist have forgot."

I began to shake and fell back onto my knees and placed my hands over my ears. I began to sob uncontrollably as I looked around one last time before shutting my eyes. "I did this?" I thought to myself. "What am I!" I shouted.

"You are a blessing, and a curse," He said and put his hand on my shoulder. He then started to walk away and looked back at me. It was as if he had left it up to me to follow him or not. I tried to think, but it was as if I didn't know anything else. I couldn't believe any what had happened did. I looked at him as he continued walking and felt myself stand up and run after him. I called for him to wait and he stopped. He turned around to look at me and wore an expression that said he was amused. I didn't have anywhere else to go.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked.

"The sound village, not far from here," He added. "It is your choice to follow me, or do what you will, but without me you will only kill and kill like you just did. You have no idea how to control yourself now. Your mother wouldn't be very glad to see her only daughter murdered for being reckless," He said. I stood there in shock at what he said and then my memories started to come back. Yes I remembered then, she left me, but I never told him anything.

"Please, help me. I want to become stronger," I told him. He continued walking and by instinct I followed after him. "My name is…" I paused a moment and then it came back to me. "Nayumei Akada."

**~.::.::.::.::.::.~ A few days later~.::.::.::.::.::.~**

We arrived to this strange looking village that looked as if not many people lived there. And then we started to go to an underground place that looked even stranger.

"This is the sound village?" I asked looking around. He closed the door behind us. The hallways were pitch dark and the only thing lighting them were the fire torches lined along the walls. I couldn't stop looking at what was my new. Orochimaru started to walk on ahead and told me to follow after him. I saw the numerous amount of doors and felt myself want to question why there were so many. I looked down at my scars on my arms from the incident before. I hoped that the place would be my final stop. We continued walking down long hallways and finally made a stop at a door. Orochimaru walked in first and I went in after. The room was dimly lit and there were few chairs. Someone was sitting in, but I could only see the figure, not the face.

"Who is that?" I asked him.

"You can come out now," He told them. A man with spiky black hair and brown eyes came out. He looked to be in his twenties and was wearing a sound ninja outfit.

"Is this her?" The man asked Orochimaru, sounding totally shocked.

I took a step back suddenly feeling out of place. The man looked angry and walked out of the room not saying anything more. I looked down at the ground and Orochimaru then placed his hand on my head once again. I jumped by surprise.

"We can begin tomorrow," He said and started to walk out. I followed after him and into the dark hallways. He then told me the man's name was Bonenji.

**~.::.::.::.::.::.~ three years later~.::.::.::.::.::.~**

I collapsed to the ground gasping for air. It was the tenth time I had gone over the same jutsu I had been struggling with and still couldn't master it.

"Do it again," Ordered Orochimaru. I started to run towards him and then appeared behind him and attempted to kick his face, but he easily blocked it. I attempted to do the fire jutsu again, but Orochimaru appeared and punched me slamming me into the wall. A giant puff of smoke came.

"She hasn't gotten any better," Said Bonenji. I looked over at him angrily.

"Shut up!" I yelled. I clenched my fist and prepared to go for it again.

"That's enough for today," Orochimaru said suddenly. I looked over at him surprised and dropped my knives. He stopped by Bonenji and said something very quietly. He then looked over at me with his eyes wide.

"So you still can't control your mark? It's been three years," He said while walking towards me. He then handed me a boomerang type thing that fit perfectly into my hand.

"When you use it you can channel all your chakra to it, and then watch what happens." He took it back out of my hand and threw it. As he did so, the boomerang started to become bigger and the chakra became noticeable. It caused a strong breeze and I used my arms to cover my face as rocks started to fly everywhere. I fell back stunned and then stared up at him as he grinned.

"You fell? I only threw it. You haven't even seen the best part. "He then asked me if I would like to master all the techniques that went along with it and I nodded. He helped me stand back up. I looked down at the boomerang as it was small again.

"Let's see what you got," He said and positioned himself for battle.

**~.::.::.::.::.::.~ A few minutes later~.::.::.::.::.::.~**

"You can never be a Shinobi like that!" Bonenji shouted angrily at my millionth failed attempt. I clenched my fist and tried again, but it didn't work. He came running at me and threw kunais at me. I dodged them and ended up falling. Then he came up and kicked me, causing me to fly back.

"You are so weak it's pathetic!" He shouted. My neck started to throb and I could tell the mark was taking over again.

"You need to control yourself Nayumei," He said while standing back up.

"You are supposed to learn how to turn it on and off. Now turn it off!" He shouted. I looked down at the black marks that were spreading all over. My fangs started to come out and I jumped in the air as my wing like things popped out and in a flash I stabbed Bonenji in the stomach and he fell to his knees.

"Nayumei!" Orochimaru shouted from behind. I collapsed to the ground and looked up at him, as my marks started to recede.

"I refuse to train with her any longer!" Shouted Bonenji as he struggled to get up.

"Silence," Orochimaru said coldly. "I have no use for a weakling like you." I covered my head as I waited for him to kill me, but when I looked up I saw him sticking one of his snakes threw Bonenji's chest and he collapsed to the ground.

"What!" I shouted shocked at the scene and saw he was grinning again. His long tongue licked his lips and he started to walk away again.

**~.::.::.::.::.::.~ 1 year later~.::.::.::.::.::.~**

I sat in my dark room and examined my toy squirrel. I threw it at the wall angrily as it brought back painful memories.

"Today is the day," I said confidently while staring at the squirrel. I packed my backpack and started to go to where Orochimaru usually was. I looked around and saw he was nowhere to be found. I continued going down the hallway, looking.

"It's a mystery I haven't been to all the rooms in here," I whispered to myself. I saw a door at the end of the hallway and decided to go threw it. It led to a long case of stairs that went downwards.

"That's weird," I said quietly. I saw a group of people in a jail like cell and I began to walk towards them. All of them were sleeping except for one. He was a boy that looked my age. He came up to the bars and looked like he had been starving.

"Help me!" He said quietly and sounding urgent.

"Why are you down here?" I asked totally shocked. I looked around and saw a lot of cells just like that one.

"What the?" I gasped. The boy touched my hand and I shoved it away. His eyes were puffy and it looked like he hadn't slept in awhile.

"That man, tricked us," He started to say. I heard a door being opened and jerked my head towards the direction.

"Oh no! I don't think I'm supposed to be down here," I told the boy.

"Why are you here?" I asked again.

"He told us we were his experiments," He stuttered. I heard footsteps coming towards us and I hid in one of the barrels on the side. I saw two sound Shinobi grab the boy and they started to drag him away.

"No! Please!" He yelled at the top of his lungs. The people in his cell woke up at this point and looked at them.

"Leave him be!" They shouted. The sound ninjas soon disappeared with the boy. The boys last words went through my head as I tried to regain my composure.

"Orochimaru disgusts me," I said quietly. I started to head back to the main hallway and went to the room he was usually in. This time I managed to find him. He asked me what I wanted, but I immediately asked what he did with the people in the cells. All he told me was to keep my voice down. He then asked me how I found out and I told him.

"Well I decided I won't need your curse mark anymore," I said coldly. His eyes widened and they filled with anger and disappointment.

"Very well then, you serve me no purpose," He said and then he activated it and it started to hurt me uncontrollably. I fell to the ground looking at him.

"What are you doing?" I shouted.

"Don't worry, you won't remember a thing," He said coldly and then it went dark.


	4. Chapter 4 The Grass Village

"Is that a little girl?" Asks a strange voice. I lift my head slightly still a bit dizzy from my sleep. I look up and see three guys I've never seen before wearing ninja headband only I can't tell which village they're from.

"Who are you?" One of them asks while bending down to my eye level. I just give him a blank look and don't answer him.

"You can talk right? Little girl?" He asks again.

"I'm not little, I'm already 10," I tell him. He looks shocked at my out burst and looks back to the other ninja.

"Where did you come from?" He asks. I look around and see I'm surrounded by a giant meadow of tall grass.

"Where am I?" I ask him.

"The grass village," he says confidently. I look over at the other guys who just nod. Well one of them doesn't look so old, he looks to be just a few years older, maybe 2. He steps forward and looks at me.

"Do you know where you came from?" He asks. The breeze goes by and pushes his spiky brown hair back and his blue eyes twinkle. I think about his question and try and remember how I got here.

"I have no idea," I say sarcastically while standing myself up. I don't even know what I've been doing before. I didn't want to tell them that though.

"Why don't I remember anything? It's almost like something is blocking my thoughts," I think to myself. The boy examines me and looks confused.

"I don't know where my home is," I tell him. He looks down at the ground and then turns around and talks to the other men. After a few minutes of them whispering they turn back around towards me. The boy looks serious all of a sudden.

"Well would you like us to escort you back to the village?" He asks. "We have places for visitors to stay."

I think about it for a minutes and then start to walk away.

"Thanks, but no thanks," I say. Then he walks after me and touches my hand to make me stop. I get a weird feeling in my stomach and turn to him, my face a little red.

"You have no where else to go," he says confidently. "Please just let us escort you to the village."

I nod in agreement and follow after them. He is still holding my hand and I push it away and walk a few feet away from him. He gives me a weird look.

"Weirdo," I whisper to myself. I cross my arms and make a pouting face. We finally arrive at their so called grass village. It looks kind of plain the boy tells the men he can take it from here and they leave off into another direction. The boy points at somewhere and I follow him.

"My name is Tetsu Takami," He says kindly. "And you?" He asks. He stares at me and then tilts his head to the side.

"My name..." I start to say. "Nayumei Akada," I tell him trying to show him my smile. He smiles too and nods.

"So are you a ninja?" I ask him observing his headband. I wonder what rank.

"I'm a chuunin," he says shyly. "If you don't mind me asking…How old are you?" he asks.

"I'm 10," I tell him while turning towards him. I think I already mentioned that. "How old are you?" I ask him.

"11," he says blankly. I gasp and stare at him. He's so young and he's already that rank of shinobi. I look down at the ground and notice I have scars on my arms.

~.::.::.::.::.::.~ A few days later~.::.::.::.::.::.~

I walk out of my current place and start to look around.

"Hey! Nayumei!" Shouts a familiar voice. I turn around and see Tetsu.

"Oh..Hi," I say shyly. This is like the tenth morning he comes to meet me to walk with me.

"What's wrong with this boy?" I think to myself as I examine his face. He tells me he's going to take me somewhere to be evaluated of my ninja skills. I nod and just go along.

After a few minutes of examination they tell me I can start their ninja academy as soon as I want.

"Tomorrow would be great," I tell them happily. I skip towards this little shop and Tetsu offers to buy me a snack and I nod

"Why is he so nice?" I think to myself. It sort of annoys me. He comes back with some brown stuff and I look at it confused.

"What's wrong? You don't like chocolate?" He asks.

"What? Chocolate?" I ask him while examining. He starts laughing and I turn to him confused by his laughter.

"Don't tell me you've never had chocolate before?" He says mockingly. I throw the chocolate at his face and start to walk off annoyed by his laughter.

"Hey wait up!" He shouts and runs to keep up with me.

"Sorry.." he says quietly.

"You annoy me," I say quietly. He turns to me and then looks at the ground and starts to sulk.

~.::.::.::.::.::.~ 2 years later~.::.::.::.::.::.~

"Squad 11 will be genin, Nayumei Akada and Aya Udoshi who will be partnered with an already chuunin, Tetsu Takami," Says the Procter. I look around and see a girl with long orange hair in a long braided pony tail and brown eyes start to walk towards me.

"Is this Aya?" I think to myself. "She looks so weak," I tell myself. She comes up and slams her hand on my desk.

"Nayumei right? Don't think I'm going to carry you around if you're weak and fail on a mission," She says bitterly. Well there goes the first impression. I stand up and slam my hands on the desk even harder and glare at her.

"Are you trying to imply something?" I ask coldly. She steps back and walks off with her arms crossed. Tetsu is waiting for us outside and he waves at me as I start to run towards him.

"She's a bitch, don't even try.." I start to say and Aya interrupts us and introduces herself to Tetsu with a fake attitude and fake smile. Tetus gives me a funny look like I must be crazy and introduces himself to her.

"Ugh! I can't believe her! She is so fake," I tell myself as I glare at her from Tetsu's back. She's blushing and flirting with him! I clench my fist and start to walk away.

"Nayumei?" He asks and starts to run after me Aya tags along.

"What's wrong?" She asks while pretending to be nice.

"Listen here missy!" I start to say while I walk towards her with my fist ready to hit her face. Tetsu stands between us and tells us we have to get along.

Tetsu sighs at his frustration and asks nicely for us to at least pretend to be a team.

"Fine!" We both yell at the same time and look away with our arms crossed.

~.::.::.::.::.::.~ A few months later~.::.::.::.::.::.~

Tension in our team has decreased a bit. Well only a little. I've become a Jounin while Aya is still a genin and Tetsu a Chuunin. Everyone was surprised at how fast I had mastered a lot of jutsus and how strong I was. I can't really explain it. It's some sort of power that came from inside me. It gives me this sort of rush every time I fight, making me want to fight more and more.

Aya and I get along a lot better, but we still have our moments where Tetsu has to jump in between us.

"Nayumei!" Shouts Aya from behind while running with her backpack. We just got back from our mission and poor Aya had to stop for a rest and we continued without her. Tetsu laughs at me realizing I had zoned out.

"You sure don't know how to pay attention," he says sarcastically. I trip on a pebble and Tetsu catches me. Our faces only inches away. I panic and push him back. I start to walk faster towards the village. Tetsu scratches his head and continues after me with Aya along his side.

"She's a feisty one isn't she?" Aya asks him. I jerk back at them and give her a death glare. She gives me one back and then we hear a voice coming from the village.

"There they are!" Someone shouts. I look over and see him pointing at us.

"Huh?" I asked confused. A team of jounin ninja start to run towards us with knives in their hands. I try and take my knife out, but before I can they've arrested Tetsu and Aya and are dragging them away.

"What are you guys doing?" I shout angrily. They totally ignore me and then they disappear with my teammates.

"Wait!" I shout as I start to run towards their direction. I suddenly collapse to the ground as my neck starts to cause an irritating pain, stabbing my neck.

"Why does this seem so familiar?" I think to myself as I stand myself up and start to run after them.

~.::.::.::.::.::.~ A few hours later~.::.::.::.::.::.~

"Aya Udoshi and Tetsu Takami, all the proof leads to you two. You guys are here by sentenced to be locked up," Says one of the head ninja in our village as he whispers to another ninja.

"What! You don't even know if it was really them that killed all those people!" I shout.

"Silence Nayumei! Their weapons were found in the scene and we have liable witnesses stating their presence." He shouts at me.

"Take them away," he finishes.

"No!" I shout as I clench my fist and slam it hard on the table cracking it and then it breaks. They all turn to me surprised and some start to walk towards me to escort me out.

"Nayumei!" Shouts a voice from the front of the room. I look over and see it was Tetsu.

He smiles at me and tells me to calm down.

"Our time together was great," he says.

"Tetsu! You know you didn't do this! Why are you accepting it?" I shout angrily as I try and hold back my tears.

"There are some things in this world you will never understand," he says coldly.

~.::.::.::.::.::.~ The next morning~.::.::.::.::.::.~

A ninja stops by my house and hands me Aya and Tetsu's headbands.

"They tried to escape and were killed on sight," he says. I close the door in his face and throw the headbands at the wall.

I start to tear the place apart as I let out a scream of anger. I fall to my knees and start to sob.

"Damn it… I wasn't able to do anything!" I shout and see my boomerang lying on my table. I remember the day Tetsu found me he told me it was in my pocket.

I pick it up and examine it. My neck starts to pulse and I fall down again while holding it.

"Aaaah stop!" I shout.

I knock over more furniture and my house is now a big mess.

Tetsu's last words go threw my head. What did he mean by it?

A few hours go by and I've been sobbing. I hear a knock at the door and the ninja tells me they found the real person who committed the crimes.

"They died for nothing….?" I say quietly. The ninja nods and I ask him to leave my sight.

"How dare they," I say bitterly. I pick up my boomerang again and my neck starts to hurt again, but I ignore it as I walk out the door. I've lost my train of thought and no longer find purpose in this village. The only way to find my justice is to make them pay for what they did. Some sort of energy starts to fill my body. Suddenly I have all this excitement, to kill.


	5. Chapter 5 The Mysterious Blonde Boy

I take out my boomerang and start to destroy the village.

"Wind tornado jutsu!" The boomerang causes a giant tornado that starts to rip it to shreds. People are starting to run off. I look at my reflection in a puddle of water and see my body is covered with these marks.

"Nayumei! You traitor!" Shouts a voice from behind. "Why are you doing this!"

"There are some things in this world you will never know," I tell him and snap his neck. Some blood splatters on to my face and I throw my boomerang again.

"The real battle begins now!" I shout. I take out a sword and start slashing people. Squads of ninja are finally making their move. Millions of kunai knives are being thrown at me and I dodge them easily.

"Kill her! We have no choice!" Someone shouts. I look over and see my sensei is giving orders to stop.

"Sensei…" I whisper as I block off another attack.

"Fire wall jutsu!" I shout.

"Nayumei stop! Please!" My sensei shouts as he stands a few feet away. Even I know that I'm no longer welcomed here ever again.

"You people should have thought twice before you killed them!" I shout angrily and throw my boomerang at him. He didn't have time to dodge and I made a direct hit.

"Do you feel that? My chest hurts," I whisper to myself as I place my hand over my heart.

The feelings and memories of my mother and her abandonment start to pour back into my mind and I lose it. I start to throw the boomerang recklessly and throwing knives everywhere people coming at me left and right. I use my plant jutsu and use vines to wrap themselves around people to choke to death. I've caused an all out war. The only feelings I have is anger and for some reason I have no guilt or regret instead I continue killing.

"These marks look familiar," I whisper to myself as I examine them on my arm. I jump up somewhere high so I can observe the village and the helpless people running around. I can't help myself, but laugh at this. I remember some of these people use to mock me and now it is my turn to mock them.

I use my grass jutsu to form a barrier around me as a jounin starts to use some sort of jutsu at me.

~.::.::.::.::.::.~ Flashback~.::.::.::.::.::.~

"Our time together was great," Tetsu said.

"Tetsu! You know you didn't do this! Why are you accepting it?" I shouted angrily as I tried and hold back my tears.

"There are some things in this world you will never understand," he said coldly.

~.::.::.::.::.::.~End of flashback~.::.::.::.::.::.~

"Tetsu I will avenge you and Aya's deaths," I say calmly while watching this small part of the grass village burn to the ground. Suddenly someone uses some sort of water jutsu and puts the fires out.

"What the hell!" I shout angrily as I clench my fist. I look around for the person who did this and see a jounin level ninja start to run towards me

"You! How dare you interfere!" I shout as I start to throw my boomerang and my arm goes numb and I just drop it to the ground.

"Your journey stops here, Nayumei," I look up and see him do some sort of hand signs. I feel myself go numb and start to fall over as it slowly goes dark.

~.::.::.::.::.::.~A few minutes later~.::.::.::.::.::.~

I bucket of water is poured on my head. I feel myself start to shake from the freezing temperature as my eyes spring open.

"What …" I whisper quietly and see a mob of people standing around me. I see my hands are tied and there's a thick rope that's around my neck and my feet are on a barrel.

"What the? What the hell is going on?" I shout angrily as I try and untie the knots by shifting my arms everywhere.

"It's pointless, the ropes are infused with chakra, you won't be able to set yourself free," Says one of the head jounin that start to walk towards me.

"Your fate was sealed when you picked up your weapons," he says coldly.

"Shut up!" I yell. "Don't tell me how my fate goes! Because I will decide what happens not you!" I shout and then try and kick him with my legs, but feel the barrel start to tip and realize I will kill myself if I try that again.

He smirks and glares at me then shakes his head and I hear some people in the crowd say to knock over the barrel that holds my life.

"Don't you smirk at me, when my hands are untied I'll rip you head off your body," I say coldly. He slaps me across the face.

"Shut up! Are you forgetting I am the one that can kill you any second!" He shouts angrily.

"Then do it," I tell him blankly while looking at the ground.

"Don't think I won't do it!" He says. I give him a weird look and roll my eyes.

"I wasn't being sarcastic," I sigh he slaps my face again. "Stupied brat!"

"Whoa now that's no way to treat a lady," says a voice from a boy with blonde hair, half tied back. He's standing on a roof top. I jerk my head and stare at him shocked not remembering seeing him before. He's wearing a black coat with red marks on it.

"Who is that!" Says the jounin. An older looking man stands by him and they start to come closer.

"It's the akasuki!" Shouts someone in the crowd. People seem to start squirming in their places and some jounin ninja start to run towards them.

"Time to die!" Says the jounin as he pushes the barrel and my legs start to dangle.

"Ughk!" I start to say as I start to choke and feel myself fading. I start to squirm trying to untie my hands to free myself, but it won't come undone. I start gasping for air and feel as if I've been hanging for years.

Then I hit the floor and see myself looking up at the blonde haired boy. He smirks and calls to the other. I see the crowd is gone and the jounin is lying there just about dead.

"I'll let you finish him off, if you want," The boy says. I sit myself up and look over at him.

"Please, have mercey," he whispers. I snap his neck and the boy just stares at me.

"Oh my where are my manners? My name is Deidara and this here is my man Sasori," he says while pointing to the older looking man.

"You better be right about this one Deidara," he says in a deep tone. I stand there confused and look around at the village.

"Did they kill everyone?" I think to myself.

"Hello anyone in there?" He says as he pretends to knock on my forehead. I give him a blank look and notice his blonde bang covers his left eye.

"I am Nayumei Akada," I say calmly as I start to walk away.

"Hey where are you going?" He asks as he walks after me. "I don't have time for games Deidara!" Says Sasori in his scary deep voice.

"Relax," he says sarcastically.

"We couldn't help, but over hear the destruction you were causing over here," he says."We were just passing threw and we saw you on a roof top and were wondering if you would like to join us while we head back to our hide out," he says in an excited yet malevolent tone.

"Why should I trust you?" I ask bluntly. While turning my head and smirking.

"Well we just saved your life so I think you owe us one," he says while taking a step closer to me.

"Huh!" I smirk and start to walk away again.

"What do you want then?" He says while standing in front of me. He smiles and for a moment I get lost in his eyes.

"Whaat?" I ask confused not remembering what we were talking about.

He sighs and takes my hand. "Just stick with us and we'll explain on the way okay?"

I nod and his smile widens the older looking man follows right next to us and we start to head out of the grass village.

~.::.::.::.::.::.~A few hours later~.::.::.::.::.::.~

"Where are you taking me?" I ask while looking at the long road. We've been traveling for what seems for days now….

"Relax we're almost there," he says with a grin. I punch his arm and he gives me a "What the heck!" look.

"Just stay quiet," says Sasori strictly.

"I think I'd be better off on my own," I say and start to run off into the woods.

"Hey! Wait!" Deidara shouts after me. "Well now you've gone and upset the girl," he tells Sasori.

"I need to get far away from here as possible!" I shout as I continue running. I have no home now and no one to trust. I hear footsteps and hide in a tree.

"I don't even know who I am anymore," I say quietly as I place my head between my knees.

"There you are!" I hear Deidara's voice and I lift my head up and see he's on a bird like thing.

"What the…?" I say quietly while staring at him. "How did he find me so quickly?"

"Now I know you might be a little shocked at how everything went down today, but Sasori and I mean you no harm," he says. I throw a kunai at him and he blocks it in the blink of an eye. I sit there with my eyes wide open.

"I have no need for people like you," I say coldly while regaining my calm. I stand up and brush myself and jump down from the tree.

"Well if you say so," he says. I start to run off and make way back onto a different road from before. The sun is setting and I have no where to go.

I take a seat under a tree and lay my head back and my eyes start to shut as I let myself fall into a cold sleep.

~.::.::.::.::.::.~The next morning~.::.::.::.::.::.~

"You know you really shouldn't let your guard down, especially after what just happened in the village," says a familiar voice. I flutter my eyes open and see Deidara standing over me. I notice his coat is off and is wrapped around me.

"Arg! You found me again!" I say a bit angry, but I noticed his kind gesture with wrapping me with his coat. This also means he saw me asleep.

"The coat looks good on you," he says. I slightly blush and shove it back at him. I bump into Sasori who is glaring at me.

"I don't like to keep people waiting…" He says angrily. I take a step back and bump into Deidara.

"You'll scare her again," he sighs.

I shove him hard and scream at him. "I don't fear you!"

I start to walk off again and Deidara grabs my hand again.

"Can you quit being stubborn and just hear us out?" He says kindly.

I stare at him blankly and sigh as I admit defeat.

"Alright fine," I say. He smiles big again and I can't help, but find this cute.

"We can talk this over a cup of tea," he says and we start to walk off again. Sasori is getting very impatient and calls Deidara an idiot.

~.::.::.::.::.::.~A few minutes~.::.::.::.::.::.~

"So you want to tell me why you killed all those people?" Deidara asks. I look down at the table and sigh.

"They angered me and I made them pay," I say in hostile tone. He seems to be taken back by this because he doesn't say anything for a few minutes.

"Well remind me not to get on your bad side," he says with a little laugh. Along the way they told me about an organization they're apart of called the Akasuki. Basically they're the biggest bunch of wanted criminals around. Maybe that's why that jounin ninja back at the grass village was so shocked when he saw them. Their jackets must be a part of their uniform too. I take notes in my head as Deidara continues explaining everything to me and I finally agree to join, but he told me that I need to meet the person who is supposedly the head of the group. His name is Pain.


	6. Chapter 6 A new member

"Let's go Deidara," Sasori says impatiently.

"Oh, Sorry," He says. We both stand up and start to walk off again.

"Nayumei, one more thing, what rank were you?" Deidara asks out of the blue.

"I was a jounin almost an s rank, but you see I didn't get to become one yet because of what just happened…" I say quietly. He looks at me and grins.

"We'll you see, the Akatsuki group hasn't been together in a bit, but we came up with a decision to find our 11th member because Zetsu should have a partner incase something doesn't go according to plan," he says.

"Zetsu?" I ask confused. He smiles and nods and Sasori continues explaining.

"Ugh I'm tired of hearing this, let's just hurry up alright," I say. They both give me a strange look and suddenly a kunai flies at me and I dodge it without even looking.

"Looks like we got company," says Deidara.

"Should we let the new bee handle this one?" Deidara asks Sasori. He nods and they disappear.

"Hey! Where'd you guys go?" I shout confused and a bunch of kunai knives fly at me. I use my boomerang that transforms as a shield and try and find where they're coming from.

"I can't believe they just left me here," I think to myself. Four grass shinobi fly out of the bushes. They must have followed us.

"Nayumei Akada we have orders to assassin you," One of them says. I seem to recognize one of them, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

"You can try," I smirk. I throw my boomerang as a distraction and as they try and block it off I appear behind them and finish the job.

"Wow, you hardly broke a sweat," Calls Deidara from behind. I fall down to my knees and try and recall where I saw his face before.

"Hey…?" He says. I stand up and brush off my boomerang.

"Let's go," Sasori says and we begin again.

"I have a funner method!" Deidara says and grabs my hand. He takes me on his bird thing I saw earlier and we start to fly away I look down at Sasori who doesn't look to happy.

"Deidara!" He shouts angrily. I felt bad for ditching him, but at the same time I didn't mind. I smile at Deidara who tells me to hold on and I put my hands on his shoulder.

"You're not afraid of heights right?" He asks curiously.

"Oh, Please not even a little," I tell him. He makes it go up higher and I tighten my grip a little. The wind blows threw my hair.

"Not afraid huh? Sure seems like you may be a little," He says. I attempt to punch his arm and nearly fall off. He grabs a hold of my sleeve.

"Stay still will you?" He says. I give him a glare behind his head.

"He thinks he's so cool, well I'm not following for it!" I think to myself as I examine his face.

"What?" He asks. I slightly blush and sit back again.

"Nothing…" I mumble. He lets out a little laugh.

"Why'd you leave Sasori like that?" I ask him.

"Relax, he'll get over it," he adds. I look back at where he was just standing a minute ago and see he's already gone.

"I wonder what it'll be like," I think to myself.

"So these guys must be tough huh?"I ask him. He nods.

"There's another girl also," he says. I thought he said guys. I wonder how this girl will be like. Maybe I'll have someone to talk to besides being around boys all the time.

"I see, is she cool?" He starts to grin.

"This isn't some sort of game you know that right? We simply needed a new member and we stumbled across you," he says. I look down at the ground to see if maybe Sasori is around.

"Dei, can I call you that?" I ask him.

"You're already giving nicknames?" He asks with a little giggle.

"You can be Nayu?" He asks with a puzzled look. I shake my head at the distaste of the name.

"I'd prefer my actual name," I tell him with a grin.

"Hey now that's not fair," he says. I grin and turn my head.

"So you chose me because…?" I ask him.

"You had the look in your eye," he says.

"Huh?" I reply giving him an odd look.

"A purpose for your anger," he continues. I just stare at the back of his head a long time and don't even know what to say.

"I like the way the wind feels on my face," I say blankly while trying to change the subject obviously. He lets out a giggle sensing my nerves kicking in.

"Can you make this thing go faster?" I ask him. He says sure, but only speeds it up a little.

"Woow…Great job," I say sarcastically. He rolls his eyes.

"Women," He whispers. I attempt to punch him, but remember my earlier incident. I place my hand back down and give him a death glare.

~.::.::.::.::.::.~ A few minutes later ~.::.::.::.::.::.~

We've finally arrived at the hideout and I've suddenly gotten so anxious.

"Wait here," Sasori says, I nod and Deidra rolls his eyes. He didn't seem that angry when he caught up with us finally.

"I thought I was just going to pick up my coat and that was that," I tell Deidara.

He gives me a weird look like I'm crazy or something.

"It's not that simple, this group isn't a joke or some sort of club," he says in a serious tone. He takes out a kunai and starts to reach for my face.

"What are you doing?" I gasp while stepping back.

"Relax," he hisses. He scratches a line threw the hidden grass village symbol on my headband.

"Now maybe he'll take you more serious," he says. I take it off my head and place it around my neck. My brown bangs rest on my forehead.

Sasori gives us the signal and we enter into a dark cave like place.

"Is this the girl?" Says a mysterious voice. I look around and can barely see. I feel the tension in the room as a few pair of eyes seems to suddenly pop out of the dark.

I take a step back and bump into Dei.

"I hope you're not having second thoughts," he says mockingly.

He nudges me forward.

"Yes this is her alright," he says confidently.

"She looks so weak," says another voice from the left.

"She's just a kid, what could she possibly do that will benefit us?" says another voice. I hear him cuss under his breathe.

"I witnessed what this girl can do myself, there's no need to underestimate her," Sasori says sounding as if he has fully lost his patience.

"I think you should take her back," Says another voice.

"Silence," Says the head guy. That must be the one Dei called Pain.

"I'm sorry, but we don't have any room for you, the only way you could be a member is if you had a ring, but there can only be ten and they are already taken," he says."

"What was the point of searching for one then!" Deidara raises his voice.

"She could be of assistance to Zetsu if he'd let her that is," he says. "Maybe things will change later."

I look around the room and try and figure out where Zetsu is. No one told me how he looked like.

"I didn't come all this way to be shoved away," I tell them a bit angered. They smirk and I can see a smile.

"I may like her already," says another voice. I take a step towards Dei suddenly feeling stuck in a room of creepers.

"I wouldn't mind having her as my side-kick," says a deep voice. I look over and Deidara gives him a weird look. A guy that has some sort of plant thing around him and half his body is white and half is black.

"Uh…Who is this?" I think to myself as I examine him.

"Don't get any ideas," Dei whispers to him.

"Nayumei this is Zetsu," he says while pointing. I nod and he just looks at me in a weird way. I feel as if I can't trust this person.

"Nice to meet you," he says in a creepy tone. I attempt a smile, but can only frown.

"Don't be shy," Dei says as he gives me a little shove towards him.

I gasp and stare at him in the eyes. They seem so deep and I can tell he's killed a lot of people.

"You aren't scared of me are you?" He asks almost mocking me.

"No…"I stutter. Then say it again more confident while I give him a glare. I hear Dei sigh behind me

"Well thank goodness," he says and starts to walk over to Sasori.

"Deidara…Does she know about the plan?" Asks Pain. I still haven't seen his face. They told me all about the hosts of the tailed beasts and I nodded as I heard.

I man with silver hair steps out and he eyes me from head to toe then walks around me. He smirks rather loudly.

"Who are you?" I ask a bit annoyed by his rudeness.

He grins and I take a step back and bump into a boy with black hair and he glares at me. I feel myself getting cluster phobic as they all crowd around me.

"Aah!" I yell and push them and run off.

"Hey wait!" Dei calls, but I keep running. He grabs my hand.

"You're not running off again, I'm getting tired of going after you!" He says sarcastically.

"I never asked for this…" I whine.

"You agreed to it…" he says.

"She's rather annoying, let me now when we'll dispose of her," says a man with bluish like skin and what looks like fangs or even shark teeth.

"Listen here buddy, ain't no way I'll let you touch me!" I tell him with a fist. He smirks and then walks off with the black haired boy.

"Who is that?" I ask Dei. He takes a big sigh.

"That's Itachi Uchiha," he says in an annoyed tone as look at him one last time before they walk off.

"The other one there is Kisame," he says.

"So why is everyone walking away?"

"The meeting is over," he answers.

"So now what?"

"You are so lost, it's kinda cute," Dei says. I turn away to avoid his gaze and look around and see the others have already left.

"Just follow us and we'll show you our hideout," he says.

"I'm not even a member, I'm just a dumb sidekick," I sigh and hunch over.

"Why do you guys go to different locations for meetings and stuff?"

"You should already know that answer," Dei says.

~.::.::.::.::.::.~ A few hours later ~.::.::.::.::.::.~

The night sky seems to be extra pretty tonight. I try and stay awake as Dei and I float in the sky on his bird. We've been traveling for so long now I just hope they have a nice warm bed for me to lie on.

"Are we there yet?" I nudge him slightly and he looks at me.

"You've been asking that like every second," he sighs. I roll my eyes and look to the side.

"Well you've basically dragged me for like five days now," I hiss. It's his turn to roll his eyes. This boy annoys me so much, but at the same time he's the only one I fell comfortable to talk to.

"I'm bored," I sigh.

"Relax…" he says.

"That's all you ever say! It's getting annoying. It's not easy to relax you know…" I add. He gives me this look like he's about to push me off the bird and he does.

"Hey!" I shout as he pulls me back up.

"I'm trying to concentrate here," he adds.

"Concentrate on what? The booger hanging out of your nose?" I mock.

"I notice the bird we're on is made of clay," I tell him.

"That's because it's a piece of art," he smiles.


	7. Chapter 7 The way it works

~~~~~ Sorry for the late update, I've been having computer trouble and on top of that I have school work now, I'll try and update faster, anyways thanks for reading my story so far! Lots to come! ~~~~~

"A piece of art?" I stutter confused.

"Yeah….Do you need me to explain to you what that means?" he says mockingly. I smirk and turn my head away real fast.

"Whatever…" I mumble.

"You know you like me," Dei says in a sarcastic way. I avert my eyes and try and think of bitter thoughts to avoid a blush on my face.

"You wish," I mumble he looks back at me and laughs.

~.::.::.::.::.::.~ A few hours later ~.::.::.::.::.::.~

"Yay! Finally, I'm so beat," I cheer as I start to head towards a new hideout we've arrived at.

"Hey, wait for me," Dei says from behind as I start to run.

"Quit being so slow!" I shout and start to tap my foot to irritate him.

"You said there was a bed inside for me right?" I ask him as he finally catches up to me.

"Yes, but just for future references, you'll rarely have time to sleep in a bed. You might as well get use to sleeping outside.

"Um gross," I say a bit bitter.

He starts to place a pile of leaves in front of the entrance and flattens it with his foot.

"There, this is your new bed," he says with a grin as he starts to walk inside.

I scatter the leaves with my feet and glare at him as I walk in after him.

The place looks rather dull and unwelcoming. I didn't see anyone else around. Dei starts to walk down one hallway and signals me to follow after him. I stop and stare at things and Dei starts to get impatient. He starts to explain things and how things work here, but I start to zone out and continue looking around.

"Geez you have a short attention span," he says. I clench my fist and tell him to be quiet.

"Sorry I'm just feeling a little out of place is all…" I say. Dei seems taken back by this as he eyes me carefully before continuing to walk forward. He probably didn't know what to say, but the tension right now is making everything a bit more awkward.

"Alright this here is your temporary room," he says while opening the door slightly.

"Temporary?" I ask confused. "Are you referring to me sleeping outside again?" I ask annoyed.

"No… That's not what I meant," he says. I give him a werided out look.

"Then what did you mean Dei?" I ask while taking a step in my room.

"Well someone like you might not last long in the Akatsuki group after all," he says in a mocking tone and starts to walk off. I glare at the back of his head and slam the door.

"Pssh I'm not even a real member," I sigh and fall down on my knees in front of the door. The room is a bit dark with only one lamp on a stand next to the bed. It's utterly plain and boring looking.

I remove my sweater and yawn and lay down. I wonder if these people do anything for fun besides killing. Not that it's even fun.

~.::.::.::.::.::.~ A few hours later ~.::.::.::.::.::.~

"Come here my child," says a creepy voice. I can't open my eyes all I can hear is this mans voice. It sounds so familiar. I hear snakes all around me. I reach for my kunai knives, but they're gone I open my eyes and see a snake coming at my face.

"Aah!" I gasp as I wake up and sit up real fast and look around.

"What the hell?" I whisper as I look around the room. I pull the sheets back and put my shoes back on along with my sweater.

I start to head down the long hallway feeling a slight headache coming on.

"Where's the kitchen in this place?" I say out loud as I bump into something and fall back on my butt.

"Didn't you see I was walking here buddy?" I say angrily as I stand myself up. I didn't even notice who it was. It's in the middle of the night so why would someone be standing in the middle of the hallway…

I look up and see my face is only inches away from Zetsu. I try and walk past him, but his arm extends in front of me and doesn't let me pass.

"Uh Zetsu can you move," I ask trying to nudge but he won't budge.

"No…" he says coldly. I stare at his black half and take a step back.

"Get out of my way," I say angrily. In a blink of an eye his hand grabs my neck and he lifts me while squeezing tight.

"You look good enough to eat," he says. I kick his stomach but he doesn't even flinch.

"Let me go!" I try to shout and feel my head start to pulse.

"Zetsu!" I hear a voice yell from behind me and Zetsu disappears as I fall to the ground gasping for air.

"Nay are you alright?" Dei says quietly while placing his hand on my shoulder. I ignore the fact that he called me Nay and stand myself up. I start to head back to my room.

Then I feel a weird pulsing on my neck and an intense pain shoots threw and I fall back to the ground.

"Aaah!" I gasp as I press down on it.

"Nayumei….?" Deidara says while starring at my neck. His eyes wide open. I walk into my room and close the door.

"Damn it," I whisper as my face hits the ground.

~.::.::.::.::.::.~ The next morning ~.::.::.::.::.::.~

I hear a knock at my door and hear Deidara's voice calling from behind it.

"Hey get up sleepy head it's time to go!" He shouts.

"What?" I shout angrily. "We just got here yesterday! You gotta be kidding me!"

"No we have a task to attend to and well you're coming along with me and my man Sasori, since Zetsu likes you too much.

"What the hell?" I shout as I open the door. He grins.

"You are so annoying," I tell him he rolls his eyes and tells me to hurry up and starts to walk off. I grab my things and go after him.

"So where we headed?" I yawn. And stretch and Sasori comes out and stands by us.

"We have to meet up with someone," Dei says.

"With who?" I ask puzzled.

"I'll explain on the way," he says. "Oh and one more thing," Dei says as he goes back inside.

He comes out with a jacket like his and a bamboo hat thing. He hands them to me and tells me I have to wear them.

"I thought only members could wear these," I tell him while examining the coat.

"Just wear it," says Sasori rather coldly. I give him a glare and put it on.

"Are we all set then?" Dei asks and then we start to walk off.

"If I had known we'd be traveling most of the time, I would have never agreed to this," I think to myself as I look up at the sky and notice a crow fly by.

I hear bell sounds coming from Sasori's hat. I look down at mine which I haven't put on yet. Dei hasn't either.

"So when do you guys actually put your plan into action?" I ask them. They exchange glances at each other then look at me.

"Not for awhile…" Sasori replies.

"Are you serious? Then why are we wasting our time looking for someone?" I think to myself and notice the same crow fly by again.

I yawn again and put my hands behind my head. Sasori throws a kunai at the crow and it falls to the ground right in front of me.

"What the heck!" I shout and jump back. Dei looks a bit confused and picks up the dead crow.

"So we were being followed already?" Dei asks him. Sasori nods and I just stare at the dead crow. Dei throws it at my face and I jump to the right, but the crow hits Sasori in the face.

"Oh… he's going to get it now…" I think to myself as I see Sasori getting angry.

"Whoops," Dei says rather amused.

"Deidara," he says harshly.

"Calm down, it wasn't meant for you," he says. Sasori just glares at him and starts to walk off. Deidara follow too.

"Are you coming Nay?" Dei asks while turning back at me.

"Oh…yeah…" I mumble and start to walk by him. I punch his arm rather hard.

"Uh…?" He asks puzzled.

"That's for calling me Nay," I say a bit annoyed.

"What's wrong with Nay?" He asks in a mocking sort of way.

"It reminds me of a horse," I tell him.

"NAY!" He shouts.

"Deidara!" Sasori shouts annoyed. I try and hold my laughter back and attempt to punch him again.

~.::.::.::.::.::.~ A few days later ~.::.::.::.::.::.~

"Are we there yet?" I ask anxious. Dei looks around and then back at me.

"Just about there," he replies. The hat itches my head. I try and scratch it, but Sasori gives me a weird look.

"Great…how do I…" I think to myself and Dei tells me to keep my guard up at all times.

"Which village is this?" I think to myself as I look around.

"We're in the hidden stone village," Dei says almost as if he just read my mind. I stare at him with my mouth slightly open.

"What?" He asks rather amused at my expression.

"Are you the two from the Akatsuki?" asks a voice from the shadows. We turn towards a man walking towards us. He's wearing a long jacket and his hood is up so you can't see his face. He didn't even acknowledge me.

"Deidara removes his bamboo hat and the guy stops walking towards us.

"Is that you…?" Stutters the man. I look at Deidara confused.

"How does this dude know Dei?" I think to myself, the man pulls down his hood and reveals his face with a scar on his cheek.

"Well if it isn't you," Dei says with a grin.

"So you joined the Akatsuki eh?" He says.

"Are you forgetting? My art wasn't appreciated here," Dei answers with a smirk and then looks away.

"Oh you brought another member?" He asks while looking at me. "I didn't even notice."

"Is this guy blind or what?" I think to myself as I try and calm myself before I rip his face off.

I take off my bamboo hat, but Sasori leaves his on.

"I didn't know the Akatsuki let girls in," he says.

"Come again?" I ask angrily. Dei steps in front of me.

"Now, now I wouldn't go around insulting people you don't even know. Besides…" He says in a malevolent tone. "You have no idea what she's capable of."

The guy eyes me from head to toe then back at Deidara.

"If you say so. Now to discuss business," he says. "Right this way." He starts to lead us down this cave like thing. The walls are made out of patches of stone into and it leads us to a building with a table and a few chairs around.

"Alright, let's make this quick shall we?" Says the guy as he takes a seat. Most of the furniture is stone like.

"What is your name?" I ask. He leans a bit forward.

"I can't tell you that sweetie. It's classified," he says with a grin.

"You can call me Baku," he says. I give him a glare.

"So this village has two tailed beasts?" Dei asks getting down to business.

"Yes, which one are you looking for?" Baku asks.

"Which ever one is stronger," Dei says confidently.

"Deidara, we're here for the five tailed beast," Sasori says angered by his nonsense.

"Oh you're looking for Han?" Baku asks curiously.

"Han?" I ask trying to get in the conversation.

"Man you sure left her clueless," Baku says while starring at me.

They start talking about Han some more and I look around the room trying to look like I'm listening.

"You guys must have been desperate for a new member, she doesn't even pay attention," Baku says. I snap my head back at him and punch his face and he falls back out of his chair and into the wall. He sits himself back up and massages his head.

"She sure is feisty," he says as he stands up and brushes himself off.

"Well I warned you," Dei replied. I walk out of the room annoyed and wait for them outside as they finish off their business.

"So we're after a guy named Han?" I think to myself as I look around.

"Excuse me, ma'am," I hear a voice say as I turn to my side and see a little boy holding a stuffed animal.

"I can't find my friends," he says trying not to cry.

"I'm sorry I can't help you," I say annoyed by this. He nods and starts to walk off with his head down.

"Little brat," I think to myself. I notice him start to cry. That image seems to be giving me a headache.

"Wait kid," I start to say and my head starts throbbing and I fall to my knees.

I get the image of a little boy with red hair and some sand attacking a woman. The boy looked as if he'd been crying for awhile.

"Nayumei?" Dei calls as he starts head out towards me. I slowly stand up.

"Ready to go?" He asks. "Uh Nay?"

"Oh…Yeah… Are we done here then?" I ask looking for Sasori.

"Yeah we are for now that is, we have to go report to pain our new information," he says. Sasori finally shows up.

"Where's Baku?" I ask.

"Don't worry about him," he says. I gulp and we put our hats back on and start to walk back.

"What about Han?" I ask. "Aren't we here for him?"

"No, we were just gathering some valuable information. It's not time yet," he says with excitement in his voice.


	8. Chapter 8 Some Things Revealed

"Whatever you say, can we leave now?" I ask looking around annoyed by them.

"Sure thing, ladies first," Dei says as he points for me to go in front.

"Hmm…" I mumble and give him a slight glare.

"You killed him didn't you?" I ask remembering Baku's face. I think he deserved it, but I thought they needed him to spy.

He just lets out a small laugh and Sasori with the same blank expression.

"Alright then…So what kind of information did you guys get?" I ask. We stop walking and are far enough from the village. They exchange looks and a small breeze goes by lifting my pigtails slightly. There's a serious mood now in the wind and I just lock eyes with them.

"Well….?" I say agitated.

"We told you we would explain later," Sasori says and starts to go ahead.

"Why do I even bother if you won't take me seriously?" I shout and make a fist. Dei scratches the back of his head and takes a big sigh.

"It's just because you're new. You'll see things will change soon," he says.

"But I'm not even…." I start to say.

"We get it, you aren't a real member, but in time you will be," he says. I give him a death glare and we begin walking again. I keep a distance between them because they just anger me.

"I should just make a run for it…" I think to myself. I glance at them and Dei looks at me from the corner of his eye.

"Ew… Dei is so creepy….!" I think to myself while averting my eyes. All the members are creeps. And about that Zetsu guy. If I'm supposed to be on his team shouldn't he not try and kill me? How am I supposed to trust those people? They kill for a living. They're nothing, but a bunch of criminals. I know that technically I am one too now, but still…

"Nayumei, you seem awfully quiet over there…" Dei says abruptly. I crunch my teeth and just keep looking ahead.

"Just shut up Dei!" I think to myself.

Sasori suddenly stops walking. Dei bumps into him and looks annoyed.

"Why did you stop in my way?" Dei says sarcastically. He looks back.

"We are being followed…" he says in his scary angry tone.

I look back and see nothing then I look above and see nothing. I look just about everywhere.

"There is nothing…" I start to say then something comes out of the ground right under me. It punches right under my chin and I hear my neck make a crack sound and I fly up high as a gush of blood comes out of my mouth. I start to twirl like a bullet and head down to the ground.

"Nay!" Dei shouts. He attempts to catch me, but starts to focus on the enemy that is coming at him. I fall to the ground and feel a sharp pain in my side.

"Oww…" I mumble while holding my side.

"Get up…" I hear Sasori call. I roll on my back and try and see what is going on.

Dei is flying on his bird above and I see him stick something into his hand and then he throws something at the ninja below. Sasori is just standing there letting him do the dirty work. For a moment I see something that is hard to believe on Deidara's hand.

"Was that a mouth?" I gasp and try and sit myself up. It feels like a giant knife is being jammed into my side. I ignore it and start to stand up.

"This is my chance to prove myself right?" I think to myself and see a ninja appear behind Dei. An explosion occurs and the ninja is confused by the puff of smoke.

I rip my boomerang from my neck, which I've turned into a necklace type thing, and throw it at him. He turns around, and steps on it, and it flies back at me. I dodge it and see him start to do hand signs. He starts to throw millions of spears that are coming out of his sword. I use my boomerang and start to twirl it fast. Another explosion goes off near by.

"Wind tornado jutsu!" I shout and the spears are sucked in and then it starts to come after the ninja. He starts to do another hand sign and I use my speed to appear behind him I kick his side so hard and he flies back then a puff of smoke.

"A shadow clone?" I think to myself and feel my head being jerked back. I do a flip over his head and knee him in the face. He grabs my hand and knees me in my side. Right on the mark.

"Aaag!" I shout and stab some kunais into his chest then kick him and he falls to the ground. I use a grass jutsu I learned awhile back and a grass vine wraps itself around him and suffocates him.

"Is that all you got?" I shout confidently.

Suddenly the ground starts to feel like mud and I feel myself being pulled into the ground.

"What the hell is this?" I shout and look around to see that the ninja is no longer in the vines.

"Oh you like to play dirty?" I think to myself. "Very well then…"

I use my grass jutsu to help me pull out and from the corner of my eye see the ninja running at me.

"Now you die!" He shouts and throws some spears at me.

I don't have enough time to react. Suddenly a puff of smoke is in front of me and I wonder if that was Dei's doing. I look around for the ninja and he appears from above. I stand there as my neck begins to pulse.

He's coming right at me with his spear and I kick it out of his hand and grab a hold of his neck.

"You should have left when you had the chance," I tell him and use both hands. He tries to loosen my grip and I start to tighten more and more and see his eyes look like they are bulging out.

"Please have mercy…" he says and I drop him. He goes unconscious.

"Nay!" Deidara shouts. I look above and he swoops down and grabs me by the hand and flies up high.

"What the hell?" I shout and see the ground explode.

"He put bombs everywhere?" I think to myself and see Sasori is already waiting for us.

"Why didn't he do anything?" I think to myself.

"Nice," Dei says as he jumps off the bird. I sit there quiet and stare at the ground.

"You hesitated back there," Sasori says with a bit of anger in his voice.

"Am I just a joke to them?" I think to myself and clench my fist. "I don't think I should waste my time with them."

"Hey back at the house I saw that thing on your neck light up," Dei says suddenly.

"What are you talking about?" I ask confused.

"That mark on your neck," He slightly pulls down my coat and Sasori stares at it.

"So I see…" he says. I look at it myself and see a faded black sign.

"What the…?" I whisper.

"You don't remember how you got that?" Dei says now serious.

"I….I… Don't know…" I stutter.

"How could you forget something like that?" Dei says.

"Deidara! Her memories have obviously been erased," Sasori says.

"Whaaat?" I shout at them and jump down from the bird.

"My memories?" I whisper and fall to my knees.

"Try and remember!" I think to myself and clench my fist.

"Don't you remember the man who gave it to you?" Sasori says. My neck starts to throb and so does my head. An intense pain takes over and I start to let out screams of pain.

"What is this?" Dei says shocked. All I can hear is a thumping sound.

"It could be some type of jutsu to help her repress her memories…" Sasori says and then it goes dark.

~::.::.::.::.::.~ A few minutes later~.::.::.::.::.::.~

Someone splashes a bucket of freezing cold water on my face.

"Aaah!" I yell as I sit up and start to shiver. Dei is standing by holding the bucket, Sasori is sitting by a tree and he looks annoyed.

"Listen girl, you need to stop wasting our time and passing out," Sasori says strictly.

"What happened?" I say as I hold my head. Dei throws the bucket at my head.

"Ow!" I shout as I rub my head and throw the bucket back at him. He dodges it and exposes that thing on his hand again.

"Eww! "I shriek. He looks confused.

"What?" He says. I scoot away and he looks down at his hand.

"Oh so you've seen it?" He says and raises his hand.

"What do you think of that!" He says and a tongue slips out and goes back into his hand.

"Oh god that is the grossest thing I've ever seen," I tell him and he gives me a half grin.

"They're for my works of art…" He says while looking down at them.

"Art? You call your clay art…" I say to him he looks at me and agrees.

"Back at the village you seem to have known Baku…and said something about them not appreciating your art…what was that all about?" I ask him. He takes a seat on a rock and I look over and see Sasori is not paying attention.

"It was my hometown. I knew Baku back in the old days…but that's not even his real name," he says.

"Why'd you leave then?" I ask leaning in a little closer interested by his story.

"We I desired to reach even greater heights despite my praise for my earlier sculptures and such. At first I simply focused on creating more and more works, but then I started craving a kinjutsu that was passed down in the rock village: a technique that allows one to knead chakra into substances. I violated some stupid law and stole the technique and then I was followed. I used the exploding clay and killed them all…Ever since then I've been using this new so called art and was eventually tracked down by the Akatsuki," He explained. I gave him a smile.

"Wow that's some story," I tell him. He puts his hand behind his head like he's boasting.

"Show off!" I yell at him. "So what happened after you left the village before you joined?" I ask.

"I became a terrorist bomber…" he says in a malevolent tone.

"Oh…" I add. During this little chat we got a fire going and the night has fallen.

"Anything else you want to share?" I ask him while starring at his face to see what expression he'll use. He hesitates and says no.

"Are you sure?" I ask. He avoids eye contact and doesn't say anything.

"So he does have a touchy spot…" I think to myself.

"What about you Nay? Anything you remember?" He asks.

"No…" I reply and look at the ground.

"No fair…I shared my story with you and you're not going to share yours?" He says. I look at the sky and nod no. Sasori comes back.

"Where'd you go off too?" Dei asks. He looks annoyed to be asked such a question and doesn't say much.

"What's the story on him," I ask in a whisper. Dei looks at him then at me.

"He doesn't exactly open up to people," he adds.

"Well I'm going to sleep now…" I tell them and find a spot sort of far away. I lay my head down on my hat and roll my eyes at the thought of what Dei said earlier. I should get use to sleeping outside on dirt.

"Ugh I hate him for being right..." I whisper to myself and let my eyes flutter closed.

~::.::.::.::.::.~ The next day~.::.::.::.::.::.~

"Kay ready to go?" Shouts Dei. I roll over and accidently slap him in the face revealing something on his left eye that is usually covered by his bang.

"Hmm…?" I mumble. "What the heck was that?" I think to myself.

"Well let's get going! I don't like to keep people waiting!" Shouts Sasori agitated that it always takes us an extra few days to get back.

"Sorry…Sorry!" I yell and hurry and grab my things.

"Ehem…" Dei says in a fake cough. I look back and see I've left my bamboo hat.

"With this girl we'll take at least a year to get back…" Sasori says and starts to walk away.

"Aw…" I say shyly.

"You need to work on your partnership with Zetsu!" Dei says with a bit of excitement.

"Oh yeah…" I say quietly remembering his face.

"That should be interesting…" Sasori says in a malevolent tone.

"Seems like everyone is trying to get rid of me…" I think angrily. I am only 12 almost 13 and I think I'm the youngest one in the whole group besides Deidara.

"Maybe that's why they all treat me like dirt. They think I'm weak yet they recruited me…So there has to be a reason why…" I think to myself besides the reason Dei told me.


	9. Chapter 9 Decisions

"Almost there," Dei says. I wipe my tired eyes and look at the giant boulder that holds most of the members inside.

"It's about time," I tell them.

"Sasori, are you going to report the information, or shall I?" Dei asks.

"Wait, what about me?" I ask. They give me a funny look and then get back to talking.

"Wow…" I say under my breath. I look over and swear I see the tree moving. Like if something is in the tree trunk, but it's hard to explain.

"Nay, why don't you go look for Zetsu," Dei says doing that hand sign when you try to shoo someone away.

"Well fine, I know when I'm not wanted around…"I say quietly.

"I think I found him," I think to myself and walk towards the tree and an arm reaches out and pins me to the tree. I let out a scream and hear Deidara yelling and see Zetsu come out and I nearly faint.

"He scared me…" I think to myself.

"Zetsu, you're not allowed to eat her…" He says.

"What the hell? What if he can't control himself!" I shout and start to run towards the hideout.

"I'm out of here!" I think to myself. I run towards my room and look back to see if that thing is chasing after me with its trap thing open ready to swallow me whole. I bump into something and fly back.

"Aahh…" I gasp. I look up and see Itachi looking down at me with that unfriendly look of his.

"Sorry…" I say quietly and he slowly walks around me and down the hall.

"God what a weirdo," I whisper to myself.

"You have to stop running! How is anyone here going to take you seriously?" Deidara says from behind. I get a shiver down my spine. He creeped up so suddenly I didn't even know he was there.

I let out a big sigh and he helps me up.

"I had a talk with Zetsu," he says. I roll my eyes as he mentions the name

~::.::.::.::.:: A few minutes later ::.::.::.::.::~

"Deidara, he wants to see you," Says the silver haired man, while point at this one door. I can't seem to remember this guy's name…

"I'll watch over this brat," he says. I give him a nasty glare and he doesn't change his expression.

"I'm not a brat," I say angrily.

"Shut up," He snaps at me.

"I now realize these people are just a bunch of hostile criminals and it's silly to think they can even be nice…." I think to myself.

I start to walk off and he yells at me.

"Where do you think you're going?" He snaps.

I continue walking and ignore him and he starts cursing and saying a bunch of stuff.

"I should go look for that one guy, Itachi… He seems interesting…." I say to myself and look around for someone, anyone.

"I asked where you're going?" He shouts again and reaches for my shoulder and I grab his wrist so fast and start to twist it.

"Leave me alone," I say angrily.

"Oh my bad… I had no idea you were so feisty," He says and I push his hand away.

"You have an attitude problem you know that?" He says.

"I don't need your opinion so shut up," I snap at him and walk down the hallway leaving him behind.

~::.::.::.::.:: meanwhile ::.::.::.::.::~

Dei walks into the small room and a man covered in piercings stands in front of a window.

"What is it?" He asks.

"That girl you brought… She must be a former pawn of Orochimaru," He says quietly.

"What makes you say that?" Dei says.

"Because of what Sasori told me. If that girl can control the power of the curse mark then who knows, maybe she could surpass some members and make her way to high rank," He says.

"Yeah, but she doesn't even remember anything….She has some sort of jutsu that won't allow her to remember so easily. The only way is to break it and we don't even know which jutsu it is. Probably one that sick freak created himself," Dei says.

"Allow me to investigate," Says a girl voice from the corner. Dei looks over at her.

"Konan?" He says.

"We want someone specific to keep an eye on her at all times as well. Something tells me she truly doesn't want to be here and the last thing we needs is some stupid girl leaking out where our hideout is. Especially with all the jinjuriki business," Pein continues.

"Who's going to keep watch over her?" Dei asks angrily.

"That's already been decided," Pein replies. Dei's jaw drops when the name is revealed.

~::.::.::.::.:: A few hours later ::.::.::.::.::~

"Sasori is it true everyone here is about a S rank?" I ask he looks up and nods.

"So I see… Well am I strong like some other members?" I ask. He pauses.

"No, not yet," He mumbles and walks to his room.

"My memories have been messed with….apparently different things come and go," I think to myself. "How annoying."

I look at my boomerang.

"I don't like my style of fighting…" I say loudly.

"I could help you with that," I hear a voice say and I look over and see that shark dude coming towards me.

"Kisame?" I ask.

"What kind of change do you have in mind?" He says in his malevolent tone.

"Some new jutsu… and maybe a new fighting tool?" I say and he nods.

"Very interesting…" He says with a grin.

"Ew creeper…." I think to myself and excuse myself. I start to walk to my room again and Dei comes out of nowhere and looks very serious.

"Dei…?" I ask puzzled.

"Listen Nayumei, there's one thing I forgot to mention. You can't trust anyone here," He says.

"What?" I gasp.

"Don't make the mistake of trusting the wrong person," He mumbles.

"What about you?" I ask and his expression changes and his eyes are droopy. I don't think I've seen him like this.

He doesn't say anything and walks down the hallway.

"Dei?" I yell and then I walk into my room.

"What was that about?" I think to myself. I let out a big sigh and jump on my bed.

"Time to brainstorm a new fighting technique!" I yell and take out a piece of paper and being to doodle.

"Maybe a giant sword like Kisame! No bigger!" I yell and look down at my drawing with excitement. I'm holding a giant piece of metal.

"Now that's a sword! Or how about an ax!" I look down at my new drawing and make a frowny face.

"That's just ugly…" I sigh and imagine myself shooting fireballs out of my mouth like a dragon.

I then draw me riding a dragon for fun and start making cheering sounds. I hear a banging at my door.

"Be quiet in there!" Someone shouts. I don't recognize the voice and just continue to draw.

I end up with a picture with marks all over my body.

"This drawing… I don't even know if I was aware of what I was drawing…" I gasp an examine it. The evil look in my eye and I decide to show Dei.

I look in the mirror and see the mark on my neck.

"Where did you come from?" I gasp and then realize it looks exactly the same as the picture.

"Dei!" I yell as I burst out of my room and start to run down the hallways.

"Deidara!"I yell and then a random door slowly starts to open.

"Huh?" I say quietly. As it openss it makes creepy squeak sound and I slowly start to walk towards it.

"Dei?" I ask and see it is dark in there. I open the door more and see the room leads to a flight of stairs heading down.

"Hello…?" I whisper and enter and the door closes behind me by itself. I look around and then start to walk down the stairs slowly.

"What is this place?" I think to myself and as I get deeper and deeper it gets darker.

"Heeellooo!" I yell and no sound.

I notice something glowing in the wall and quickly glance at it and see it's gone.

"Anyone down here?" I shout again. I hear a crack sound again and then a door slams.

"Very funny…" I say under my breath and start to walk to the stair case and see Zetsu standing there. I gasp.

"Oh you scared me…" I mumble.

"Is this where your room is?" I ask and he just stares at me.

"I'll take that as a yes?" I say confused and he takes a step forward.

I take a step back.

"Don't underestimate me," I snap at him and he grins big.

"I just want to ask you a question…" He says creepily.

"What!" I snap at him and get ready to take out a kunai knife.

"How scared are you right now?" He whispers.

"Not even a little," I state and in the blink of an eye he is standing behind me.

"What about now?" He whispers and I attempt to punch his face but punch the shell thing he has instead and injure my hand.

"Aaaah," I gasp and he just stands there.

"Look! We are suppose to work together later so you better start acting serious!" I shout.

"What makes you think I'm not?" He says in a funny voice and giggles.

"You touch me again and I'll snap your neck off!" I yell and start to walk up the stairs and the door is locked.

"Damn it open!" I shout twisting the door knob and see Zetsu at the bottom of the stairs holding a candle.

I punch the door hard and make a hole and unlock the doorknob from the other side and walk down the hallway again with my picture still in my hand.

"You called?" Dei says walking towards me.

I walk right by him glaring and he makes a confused look.

"Hey what's wrong?" He says.

"Shut up," I say angrily.

"You all anger me. You guys want to see what I'm capable well you asked for it!" I shout and head to my room. Dei grabs a hold of my hand.

"What's this?" He says puzzled and takes the picture while still holding my hand. I push his hand away and he stares at it.

"Where did you get this?" He seems real interested now.

"I drew it," I state and cross my arms.

"So you remember now?" He asks sort of excited,

"No. I drew it without thinking…" I add and he asks if he can keep it for awhile.

"Uh…yeah?" I stutter and he starts to walk off again. I roll my eyes and decide its best that I get some fresh air.

I realize I'm still wearing the Akatsuki coat and decide to wear it all the time.

"It's not like anyone will miss it," I state and then walkout and head to this grass field.

I find a nice hidden spot and lie down in a patch and just stare at the clouds.

"What was I doing before…?" I mumble. I try to think about it and I get a really bad headache.

"Damn it who messed with my head…" I mumble and roll to my side. I have a blank mind. The only thing I remember was being in the grass village and my friends dying for nothing.

I remember Tetsu and how nice he had treated me. Then the day it all went down hill and a new beginning occurred.

"Was that the day my fate was decided? What is my fate anyways…and is there something else that happened before that, which could explain my neck…" I continue rambling on until I drift to sleep. The breeze feels soothing and the sun's warmth on my face calms me down.

"I want to know…" I mumble. I feel myself fading and then something hard hits my head. I look up and see a squirrely looking down on me and a nut by my face.

"Stupid…" I start to say and the squirrel comes up to me and looks up with his big eyes.

"Aww how cute," I say with a smile and then I lay back down and the squirrel cuddles up to my face.

"A squirrel…" I say quietly. "I don't know why, but I think I really like you," I whisper to it and then it goes dark.


	10. Chapter 10 Progress

"Get up we have a mission!" I hear Deidara's voice call. I've been here for a while now and I gotta admit he really is growing on me. As for the Zetsu situation little progress has been done. Sasori explained I cannot continue to pair up with him and Deidara because I'm not an artist and I wouldn't understand their ways. So only temporarily I've been accompanying them. This is fine while I get used to being in the Akatsuki organization.

"Coming..!" I shout and grab my coat. Yes Pein has agreed to let me continue to wear it as long as I follow under the organization's orders. Unfortunately I still don't have my own ring…unless that is, one of the current members happens to die then I can take it if I please. I'm secretly keeping my fingers crossed about Zetsu. The only member that is the reason I carry all my weapons even while I sleep. I swing open the door and see Dei agitated by his waiting. I think since he is so comfortable around me now he's not as nice as before. At times he definitely has a bit of an attitude and even some cussing now and then, I guess you can call them mood swings?

"What is our mission? Eh?" I give him a puzzled look and he sighs.

"I'll explain later, yeah?" He says and walks on ahead. I glare at the back of his head and run after him.

"Oh I'm so glad to finally leave this place…its tiring being around all these guys…" I mumble. I haven't exactly met the girl yet. She rarely shows herself or at least I just never notice.

"I've been here longer than you un," He adds with a smirk. I give him a glare and he just rolls his eyes. We make it to center of the base, and to my dismay see Zetsu turn around and greet us asking if we're ready to go.

"Whaat is he talking about Deidara…?" I whisper and he turns around with his back to him.

"It's just you, me and Zetsu…I think this is good because you guys are going to have to learn to work together…And please don't try and run away because it's getting very annoying to the point where I might just have to kill you, yeah?" He says and I look at him shocked.

"Fine," I huff and he smiles and puts his arm around my shoulders.

"We are ready to go!" He says with that evil grin on his face. I guess this is his true character. Well if he wants to play dirty then so be it. Because I'm done being the innocent one, well that's what Hidan says. He strongly believes I don't belong here seeing that I'm almost 13.

~::.::.::.::.:: A few minutes later ::.::.::.::.::~

"Alright why don't you two go on ahead while I stay here and look around, yeah?" Deidara says and disappears. I clench my coat and look over at the cannibal that is supposed to be my partner.

"Look, I'd appreciate it if you just didn't touch me and maybe we can work together," I add. He stares at me with a blank expression and then grins creepily. I roll my eyes and walk on ahead navigating the area. He places his hand on my shoulder and I flinch and slap it away.

"I said no touching!" I shout and suddenly a giant boulder lands on the spot we were just at. Zetsu pushes me to a tree and then looks over and starts to sink down emerging into the ground.

"What is he doing?" I whisper softly and then see about 10 ninja appear from the bushes standing around the boulder. I swing my boomerang with its sharp pointed edges as it shoots towards them with lightning speed and knocks them all down. The boomerang comes back my way covered in blood.

"10 birds with one stone," I think to myself and look around for Zetsu. "Where the hell did he go?"

He pops out of the ground and opens his fly trap. I stand there shocked and frozen and turn my back to the site as I hear him eating away the bodies of the ninja. Some still half alive letting out terrifying screams and the sound of ripping of limbs fill my ears and I cover them. Is this how he plans to work? I kill and he eats them.

"Oh there you are," Deidara says as he appears behind me and holds up the item we were assigned to steal. "Got it." He smiles wide and then looks over and sees the sight himself.

"Oh that, you'll get use to that, yeah?" He says and puts his hand on my shoulder. I shrug my shoulders and look down at my boomerang dripping blood and start to feel queasy.

"Zetsu! We'll meet you back at the base yeah!" Dei shouts and we begin to walk back home as Zetsu stays behind to finish his business.

"Well that wasn't so bad was it, un?" He says. I ignore his thought as I think back to Zetsu getting me out of the way. Yeah maybe there is something more to him then that sick image he has. And maybe I can learn to get along with him. As I've said many times before as long as that freak doesn't try to eat me.

~::.::.::.::.:: A few minutes later ::.::.::.::.::~

"Oh look shit face has returned with his bitch," Hidan whispers to Kakuzu as Deidara and Nayumei walk into the living room exchanging glares.

"Just shut up Hidan!" Dei snaps. I take a seat on the couch across from them and Dei sits by me. I sigh and lean over the edge resting my head tired from another mission.

"Do you want something to drink Nay?" Dei asks and I nod and Hidan bursts out laughing and Kakuzu rolls his eyes at his partner's outburst.

"Oh my bad, Dei is her bitch," He says between chuckles. I ignore it and glare at him and tell Dei I can get it myself and stand up and leave the room. Giving Hidan one last glare. As I turn the corner I bump into Itachi who looks down at me with his piercing eyes that seem to have no emotion behind them.

"Oh…Uh….Sorry," I mumble and he keeps a blank expression and doesn't say a word and I walk past him and look back at him as he walks into the living room.

"What to expect when living in a place full of bloodthirsty maniacs," I say under my breath and see Kisame coming down the hallway and he grins at me. I attempt a smile and then continue to walk down the hallway all the way to room only to find my door wide open. I rush in confused remembering I had left it locked. The room looks untouched and I start to search my drawers and everything is intact.

"Who was in here?" I shout angrily and then see a shadow walk by the door. I turn and stare out into the hallway too weirded out to walk up and close the door.

"Who's there…?" I say quietly and slowly start to walk up to the door taking slow steps. Each step with a creek sound. I finally make it to the threshold and peek out the door to find the hallway absolutely empty. I let out a sigh for being so paranoid and turn around to find myself facing a figure.

"AAAAHHHH!" I yell at the top of my lungs. The other members in the living room rise up at the sudden outburst and Dei runs to Nayumei's room with Hidan after him to see if it's just a laughing matter. When they arrive they only find a trail of blood leading down from the center of her room all the way down the hallway to the darker area.

"Damn it Zetsu!" Deidara yells. Hidan bends down and rubs his finger in the blood and lifts it to his mouth and licks it.

"Yup, it's that bitch's blood alright," He says with a grin.

"How the hell would you know that un!" He shouts and follows the trail of blood down the hallway. Hidan stays in her room and smirks at the drawings on the wall. One is of a strange woman he has never seen before with long brown hair and tired eyes.

"Nay?" Dei shouts as he continues to follow the blood leading up the nursing room for injured members. Blood smothered all over the door knob and dripping onto the floor.

"What happened?" He gasps.

"Well open the fucking door," Hidan adds and turns the door knob for Dei. They see Nayumei sitting on the bed with a bandaged arm and Konan stirring something in the sink and Itachi standing in the corner with his arms crossed. Nay happily sucking on a lollipop.

"Oh hey guys," I say softly and try to smile.

"Nay what happened?" Dei asks walking up to me and touching my bandaged arm. I give him a funny look.

"Um…well Itachi scared me and I fell back slicing my arm," I mumble. Dei's eyes widen and then he stares back at Itachi. I had taken it out thinking it was Zetsu.

"And what were you doing in her room?" He snaps. I look over at him serious now realizing that as well. He explains he was looking for something and the door was already opened before he went in. Still not fully explaining his reason for invading my room. Dei furious, glares at him and tells him not to touch me.

"Shut up Dei, no one's going to want to touch your bitch," Hidan says calmly and grins at me. I glare at him and tell him to be quiet and this just makes him smile even bigger. I sigh and Konan tells them they need to get out because I need my rest. Yes I finally got to meet her and she's actually not that bad. So I guess this place just won't be so bad. In fact I feel almost whole here. Except for the fact that my past remains a big blur. Konan gives me some medicine to take for the pain and then everyone turns to the door opening.

"Dei clean this mess up," Orders Pein as he walks towards me. I bite my tongue as a light blush appears on my face. He's not that bad looking after all. "Glad to see you're feeling better."

"Why do I have to clean this up?" Dei insists and Pein shoots him an angered look. Hidan puts his hand over his mouth as he lets out quiet laughs then hands him a mop and bucket. The door closes behind them as Hidan and Dei exit the room.

"We have a special meeting later, go tell the others," Pein tells Itachi and he silently walks out of the room as well. Pein looks at me now and I try and put on a serious face as Konan adjusts my bandages.

"I don't see why not, why don't you join along on our meeting as well Nayumei?" He says and my face lights up. Finally some appreciation around here. Guessing obviously the meeting has to do with the Jinchuuriki business. Pein talks to Konan quietly by the sink and I sit still fidgeting with my hands getting nervous for the meeting. I feel myself getting drowsy and I pinch myself to prevent from falling asleep. I stare at the door as I can hear Deidara complaining about his cleaning job and Hidan laughing his creepy laugh.

"Itachi does seem fitting to be watching her to make sure she doesn't do anything out of the ordinary," Konan whispers to him he nods and they look over at her slowly getting up to open the door. "Are you sure you can trust her to come to our meeting?"

"Yes, the girl doesn't even know who Orochimaru is, therefore there is no way she can be a spy," Pein whispers back.

"Dei I'm sorry you have to clean my mess," I say softly while closing the door behind me. He looks up at me confused and then I start to laugh at him and walk by as he glares at me. I'm sure if it was vice versa he would be laughing and wouldn't offer to help me. I walk by Hidan in the hallway and he's too busy laughing at Dei to say his usual remarks. So I decide to walk towards the kitchen to make myself a snack.

~::.::.::.::.:: A few minutes later ::.::.::.::.::~

I walk into the kitchen and find Sasori sitting at the table eating a sandwich he looks up at me then back down at the table without a word. I sigh loudly and open the fridge and look inside. When I close the door I find Kisame standing there staring at me.

"Oh, you scared me," I say quietly giving him a questionable look.

"So you want me to help you train or not?" He says seriously. I get excited at the thought of getting stronger and nod in agreement. He smirks and tells me I better be prepared because he doesn't go easy on anyone.

"Alright I understand," I add and he says there's a meeting to attend to. I touch my stomach which makes a really loud growl and look after him. I slam the door and walk after him upset, after all my tummy can't wait. I follow Kisame to a room and he points to a seat next to Deidara and Itachi. The other members slowly appear as well and I sit there anxious.

"Alright, it's time to put the Jinchuuriki plot in action," Pein says and take a seat at the head of the table. "Now listen up."


	11. Chapter 11 Tobi's Accident

"There she is up ahead!" Shouts the head of the ninja squad coming our away. I smirk and bite down on my lip as I wait for the perfect moment to strike.

"Aaaah!" I yell and throw the boomerang across the field, cutting up all the running ninja. The boomerang swings back into my hand as it drips blood onto the ground.

"Good job Nay-chan!" Tobi shouts. I look over at him and glare at him. It's been two and a half years since I joined the Akatsuki now. Tobi is a recent member (well not officially) and is one of Zetsu's subordinates as well. Though I kind of am tossed around and have gone on missions with Kisame and Deidara and Sasori. Zetsu and I actually get along now, surprisingly. Though there are times when he sneaks up on me, giving me a mini heart attack. We barely talk; we just merely do our business. Tobi has made things even more stressful around here. What with all the Jinchuuriki that have been captured after Pein had put the plan into action to capture all the nine tailed beasts. I helped Kisame capture the five tailed which has gained me some respect around the base. And it helps that I'm 16 now, older and wiser.

"Tobi I told you to wait over there," I sigh and point to the tree. "That's your corner."

"I know….Tobi got tired of waiting," He pouts and crosses his arms.

"It's only been five minutes…" I add aggravated. He gives me a thumbs up and then Zetsu appears asking if we are done now. I look over at the fallen ninja and smirk telling him it looks pretty done to me. Kunai knives fly towards us and I throw my boomerang to deflect them. I restricted my chakra so I can fuse it in with my weapon and have learned jutsus to go along with it. All thanks to Kisame of course. I throw it again violently making the ninja smack into a tree and breaking all his ribs. He falls down unconscious.

"Nayumei, bring Tobi back to the base and let me finish here," Zetsu orders. I nod and grab Tobi by the arm.

"Let's go Tobi…." I pull and he follows stubbornly.

"Bye bye Zetsu-kun!" He shouts and I pull harder. Suddenly the sounds of Zetsu finishing off those men fill the air and Tobi covers his ears.

"Let's hurry home Tobi," I add and he follows willingly.

~::.::.::.::.:: A few minutes later ::.::.::.::.::~

"Kay I'm not watching him no more," I think to myself walking into the base. Tobi runs off mumbling something to himself and I walk into the living room and only see Kakuzu.

"Where's….?" I start to say and someone's hands cover my eyes, and also breathes down my neck.

"Looking for me, yeah?" I hear Dei's voice in my ear that sends a shiver down my spine and makes my stomach get into knots. I push him back and glare at him. He smiles wide and walks by into the living room. He gets annoyed when Tobi is around well I mean who doesn't except Kisame, but then again sometimes Tobi is ok. After all he does make things exciting around here since it's so gloomy.

"If you need me I'll be making myself a sandwich," I mumble and turn around and my face lands into Hidan's bare chest. I gasp and take a step back eyeing him. Yeah he's been looking at me weird ever since I matured both emotionally and physically.

"Oh it's you…" I add and try and walk by and he puts on that nasty evil grin of his.

"Dei you're not going to follow after your bitch?" Hidan adds and Dei tells him to shut up and that line is getting old. I grin at this and continue on my way to the kitchen.

"AAAH!" Tobi screams as I walk into the kitchen and he drops his plate of butter onto the floor.

"Oh sorry Tobi did I scare you?" I gasp stepping back past the threshold. He nods slowly and I slowly take a step back bumping into a figure. My heart skips a beat and I spin around face to face with Deidara.

"So the pip squeak was the one that screamed?" He says calmly and I just stare at his face.

"Yeah…" I stutter.

"Tobi no like Dei-chan!" Tobi yells and Dei walks past me towards Tobi.

"Silence, un!" He shouts and starts calling Tobi names. Tobi's blood begins to boil and he starts to be more serious yelling back at Deidara. I start laughing at Tobi's outbursts and he gets angry mumbling something about revenge. I roll my eyes and walk to my room, leaving them behind to continue bickering. I look down at my fingers still bear with no membership ring. I walk by Itachi in the hall and avoid eye contact. It's awkward around him since he's so silent. He does watch me at times and I don't know why. I finally enter my room to begin my doodling and close the door behind me.

~::.::.::.::.:: A few minutes later ::.::.::.::.::~

"Nay-chan! Dinner time!" Tobi screams from the other side of the door while banging. I throw my book at the door and tell him I'll be there in a minute.

"No come nooooow!" Tobi screams and then it goes quiet in the hallway.

"I'll be there in a minute Tobi," I repeat again and then walk to the door and see no one else in the hallway. "That's strange...He headed off so suddenly…" I mumble and begin to make way towards the kitchen to find all the other members already sitting at the table with my seat available next to Hidan and across Deidara. I make wake and see Tobi sitting next to Kisame which is near Dei.

"Alright now that everyone is here let's eat shall we?" Pein adds.

"Why the fuck are we eating together!" Hidan snaps. He is right this is the first time that EVERYONE is at the table together at the same time. It's something we have never done before. Usually some people eat together while the rest eat in their rooms.

"Because we are trying something new," Pein adds blankly.

The table gets silent and Pein and Konan start to eat. Kisame gives into the temptation as well as Kakuzu and even Itachi. Soon everyone at the table is stuffing their faces. I take a spoon full of soup and look around. What a sad "family" dinner. No one is even looking at each other. I'm sure someone is going to get up any minute and ruin it. I look around and notice a few glares and glances amoung them and can't help but want to burst out laughing to break the awkward silence.

"Tobi's tummy hurts," Tobi mumbles and Zetsu looks at him. The table goes quiet again as Tobi starts to wiggle in his chair. "Owww…." He moans quietly almost in a whisper and no one even looks at him. I take a bite of my chicken and just notice Zetsu hasn't even touched his food.

**_*Someone in the room farts long and loud*_**

I drop my fork and Tobi lets out a sigh of relieve and starts to eat again. I push my plate to the center. "Tobi feel better…" He says really quiet.

"God damn it Tobi!" Deidara shouts and pushes his plate to the center as well.

"What the fuck is that smell?" Hidan yells and I cover my nose. Pein makes a frustrated sigh and Konan steps away from the table. Kisame bursts out laughing and the Kakuzu joins him. Tobi starts to whine to Zetsu and he ignores him. Deidara and Hidan start to laugh hysterically as well and before I know it I burst out as well.

"What a dipshit," Hidan says between his laughs. Tobi's rage starts to build up as he sits in the corner silently. I stop laughing noticing this and just stare at him as Dei calls him a stinky idiot. And they continue exchanging different names to call Tobi. Pein leans on the table with a depressed look as the rest of the members continue to laugh at poor Tobi's accident.

"Dei….I think that's enough," I say quietly. He makes eye contact and listens and then Hidan starts laughing even harder saying he's whipped. I grab a towel and smack Hidan in the face telling him to stop saying stuff like that, and that he needs to calm down. The laughing dies down and it goes back to being silent again. Itachi who never laughed in the first place sits there with that same pissed off look he has. Tobi throws his plate towards Deidara which hits him in the face and the food spills all over his lap and onto the table.

"Tobi no like Dei-chan!" Tobi shouts.

"Tobi!" Konan gasps. Everyone looks over at him as he slowly stands up and spills the rest of his food on Hidan's head.

"Look what you fucking did!" He shouts as the food slides down his coat and all over his lap. Tobi then throws a roll of bread at Dei's face and I bite my tongue really hard to laugh at this.

"Tobi upset, damn it!" He shouts and then takes Kakuzu's plate and flings it at them. Hidan losing his edge stands up to strangle Tobi and Pein stops him.

"There will be no fighting! Now sit down," He snaps and Hidan takes a seat after Pein basically pushes him down. Tobi walks out of the room and leaving behind the awkward silence. Konan goes off to comfort him and I look down at my lap. Hidan starts cursing under his breath and no one has the appetite to eat now. Pein opens a window to let out Tobi's accident and I look over at Dei who looks really angered by Tobi.

"Come with me," Dei mouths towards me and I look around as Kakuzu starts a conversation at the other side of the table.

"Stupid no one gives a fuck what you found under your bed!" Hidan snaps and Kakuzu gives him an angered look.

"Right now?" I mouth back to Dei. He nods then looks over at the others and pushes his chair back and without a word walks out of the room with his, don't bother me look. I wait a few minutes and push my chair back and Itachi looks up noticing this.

"Well what do you know…I knew they had something going on," Hidan thinks to himself as he watches Nayumei walk out of the kitchen with her long brown pig tails swaying side to side. Itachi leaves the table next. Hidan scratches his chin as he suddenly gets very curious to what Dei and Nay could be doing and he excuses himself as well.

~::.::.::.::.:: Meanwhile ::.::.::.::.::~

"Dei?" I say quietly while looking at his door slightly open. "Deidara...?" I mumble as I step closer to the door and an arm reaches out and pulls me in pinning me to the wall.

"Nay I need you," Dei whispers with his face only inches away from mine and I feel my face get red as it gets.

"Whaaaat?" I gasp and push him away.

"I need your help getting back at Tobi, yeah?" He adds and peeks out the door then closes it.

"Oh…." I sigh in relief and he looks at me confused, "But you and everyone else were laughing at him just because of his accident, sooo…. he kind of had a right to get angry like that."

"Alright I've thought of a plan," He starts talking, ignoring my comment. I glare at him and cross my arms and don't say anything. He explains that "we" are going to rig Tobi's room so when he goes in later he ends up crying in front of the rest of the members making himself look more like an idiot.

"I'm not doing that to poor Tobi," I add. He stops and notices my seriousness.

Hidan slowly creeps up to the outside of Deidara's room and with a blank expression listens to what's going on and can only hear whispering barely making the words out.

"Stupid fucks, I can't hear anything," He mumbles and presses his ear closer.

"Nay I need you," He whines and I give him a death glare. He trips on his rug and falls forward on his knees and moans out in pain.

"Jackpot!" Hidan thinks to himself. He hears someone coming down the hall and gets up and rushes to his room.

"Dei are you ok?" I gasp and help him up. Then he says he will cook for me for a week if I help him prank Tobi.

"Ugh….I'll think about it," I add while looking away. He grins and then pulls out a lump of clay from his desk asking for my help. I sit by him as he starts to work on it. I nudge his shoulder and he nudges back. He starts talking about how we are going to fill his bed with whip cream and he continues on about it. I already feel guilty for laughing at him and I don't think I can go through with this.

"Why are you mad about something as dumb as this?" I mumble and he looks up from his clay and at me.

"It'll be fun, yeah!" He says and goes back to work.

"Well can't you get someone like Hidan to help you with it? Not me…" I add. He then curses saying he hates Hidan and then it's like a light bulb turns on and he says he's going to be back. I leave behind the thing I was working on and head to my room for a nice nap. Letting him deal with the Tobi prank.

…...

Dei had rigged Tobi's room. He put whip cream all over the place and when that guy walked in a bomb had gone off in his closet and he wet himself and had stumbled onto his whip cream bed. Along with all the other things done to his room causing more rage in the guy. Dei and Hidan then showed up to take pictures laughing hysterically. Oh poor Tobi didn't see it coming.

"Oh Tobi will get even, Dei. Tobi be no one's fool," Tobi tells himself and clenches his fist.


	12. Chapter 12 Handcuffed

"You have to kill them Nay! They don't care about you! No one wants you!" I hear a voice shouting in anger at me. I wobble to my feet and look over at the shadow with piercing yellow eyes standing in front of me. A snake head comes at me with its sharp fangs and I stumble back letting out a loud scream. Seconds later I open my eyes and find myself looking down a narrow hallway and at the end is a woman holding a suitcase. She starts to walk on ahead and I start to sprint towards her reaching out for her, but she doesn't stop. I finally wake up from the dream as I hear a loud bang coming from the other side of my door. I pull back the covers and slowly walk to the door only to find a note on the floor.

"What's this…?" I whisper and bend down to pick it up and look at the chicken scratch handwriting scribbled in orange crayon. At the end is signed Tobi.

"What is this?" I say again and see Hidan come out of his room and finds a note too along with Deidara.

"What the fuck does this say? Who's gonna be able to read this?" Hidan adds while comparing all the notes to have the exact same message by having the same length and scribbles. Dei squints his eyes and says everything is so messed up and it looks like a three year old did it.

"Tobi get you back!" Tobi appears out of nowhere and snaps at us and throws a water balloon towards Hidan hitting him in the face.

"You dumbfuck!" He shouts and starts to sprint down the hallway after him.

"You see, you just made things worse Dei," I sigh and leave him in the hallway as I go back into my room. What an idiot everyone here is. If you fight fire with fire you'll only end up burned. A silly thought comes to mind, that the note is some sort of threat, but I just shrug it off and throw it away.

~::.::.::.::.::The next night::.::.::.::.::~

I awake with a loud scream from a nightmare with a man like a snake strangling me. The same mysterious figure appearing in most of my dreams lately. Confused I grab onto my neck where the curse mark is. Pein and Konan had done some sort of sealing jutsu not long ago, yet my neck is throbbing intensely. I continue to hold my hand there on the spot thinking of my recent dreams and what could it mean. I look at the drawing I had drawn subconsciously of a strange woman that seems familiar yet I don't know where I recall seeing her. Shoving back the covers I slip out of bed and still half asleep stumble into the hallway.

A hand grasps my shoulder and I turn around and find Hidan staring at me with a disgusting grin and I yell at him and shove him and walk fast down the hallway not even paying attention to what he says next. All the way towards to Deidara's room. Obviously he heard the fuss and my loud yell. He opens the door and grabs me by the shoulder glaring at Hidan who just glares at us both.

"What are you doing Hidan!" Dei snaps. I step behind him rubbing my eyes.

"That stupid bitch woke me up, that's all," He smirks and I step into Dei's room stumbling on his bed still half asleep. They continue talking, well more like bickering, as I drift to sleep.

"Just go back to your room, yeah! Or I'll have to blow your ugly face, un!" Deidara shouts closing the door. Unaware of Nayumei sleeping away in his bed. He doesn't even think twice to where she had gone and lies down on the bed. He stretches his arms out with a big yawn and feels someone there and jumps off of the bed.

"The hell?" He shouts and pulls back the covers to find a sleeping Nay. She opens her eyes and looks over at him. "What are you doing?" He stutters.

"I had a nightmare…is it ok if I sleep in here and you on the floor?" I add. He stays silent thinking about it and then adds the members will think something else is going on. I assure him it'll just be something that can be explained. After all it's not like anything will ever happen. He finally agrees and says only this once and grabs a sleeping bag from his drawer. I fluff up his pillow, which smells nice by the way, and immediately drift back to sleep.

"Great…I was looking forward to sleeping on my bed after that stupid mission today," He thinks to himself and sighs. He sees a cockroach walk by his face and shifts to face the other side simply rolling his eyes at the little rodent.

After he finally drifts to sleep he wakes up from the discomfort and decides to go to the kitchen and get a glass of water to satisfy his dry mouth. He walks down the long hallways and into the kitchen unaware of a figure sitting at the table watching his every move as he grabs a cup and pours himself fresh water. Dei still almost fully asleep stumbles back to his room lying on the bed with his back to Nayumei's back as he drifts back to sleep forgetting to lock the door and that his bed was already occupied.

~::.::.::.::.::The next morning::.::.::.::.::~

Dei wakes up slightly and feels something on his chest. He yawns thinking it's his pillow and wraps his arm around it pulling it closer to him as he tries to go back to sleep. He opens his eyes when he realizes the pillow is breathing. Pillows don't breathe… A warm feeling builds in his stomach creating a knot as he looks down at a brown head.

"Na-aay…?" He stutters nervously. Nayumei still fully knocked out simply shifts her head and continues to lie on his chest. He bites down on his lip to try and stop the nerves and finally just accepts it and adjusts himself to be more comfortable while closing his eyes.

I feel movement underneath me which surprises me making me wake up, but still keeping my eyes closed. I notice the pillow I'm lying on is oddly firm and warm. I slowly open my eyes and see a blue shirt and then look over at Dei's sleeping bag now empty. I shoot my head up and find myself laying on Deidara. My face only inches away from the sleeping figure.

"AAAAAH!" I scream as my face turns bright red. Dei shoots up and loses balance as I push him off the bed, but something painfully tugs my left hand and I fly off the bed also, landing on top of him.

"What the fuck is all the noise about?" Hidan shouts as he busts open the door to find our position and he starts to laugh hysterically. I lift up my hand to discover handcuffs connecting my left hand to his right hand.

"What the hell Deidara! Did you do this?" I yell angrily, his face red as well. He shakes his head and he tries to sit up making me fall over and him on top.

"Get off of me!" I yell and shove him only jerking the handcuffs, hurting our hands.

"I knew you guys had something sick going on!" Hidan adds and walks down the hallway still laughing.

"This is not what it looks like, damn it!" I yell loud enough so the whole base can hear me. Dei holds his forehead like I'm causing him a migraine. Dei struggles to stand up nearly making me fall over as I try and stand also. He immediately starts to pick at the handcuffs and it won't bunch. I take a turn at it picking at it vigorously, at the same time thinking how could this have happened! Probably one of Hidan's sick jokes. I explain this to Dei and he nods and I throw the pin to the ground as he leads me out the door and towards the direction Hidan went.

"Slow down your hurting my wrist!" I hiss and he stops looking down at it seeing the red mark forming. We walk in on Hidan telling the others what he saw, of course exaggerating. All eyes on us and then on the cuffs. I slightly blush at the awkwardness of the whole situation and how the members and Hidan sure know how to turn something bigger than it is.

"Damn it Hidan give us the key, un!" Dei shouts and makes a fist with his free hand rambling on about threatening to blow him up.

"Shut up blondie! I didn't handcuff you! You guys did!" He yells back. After a few minutes of yelling Kakuzu suggests pliers. Dei tries to rush out of the room forgetting I'm attached and tugging at my wrists.

"Come on Nayumei…" He mumbles and I walk after him making our way to his room. We walk past Itachi in the hallway and he looks at us with amusement then back to his blank expression.

"Arg! " I think to myself as Dei kicks open his door. "Even Itachi finds this funny…"

"Dei what happens when we need to go to the bathroom?" I mumble nervously. He raises his eyebrows and starts to search through the drawers for a pair of pliers. I cross my fingers I don't have to go soon.

"Why don't we just blow this sucker up, yeah!" He shouts and I stumble back yelling at him. It could just blow our hands off. It's not worth it at all. He then continues to look again as I look over at the door and notice a piece of paper taped on it.

"Dei….what's that?" I point to it knowing it might have to do with what's going on. He jerks his head and looks at it. He rips the piece of paper off and stares at it, just by looking at his expression you can tell he's about to blow. Or even tear something or someone apart. He hands it to me without a word and I look at it immediately, it says…

_**Dear, Dei-chan, **_

_**This you punishment. But only beginning….this just warm up. Hope you enjoy…and I have the key and you're not getting it back, damn it!**_

_**Sincerely, Tobi**_

"I'm going to kill him," I mutter and Dei rips the note out of my hand and rips it to shreds scattering it all over the floor, then stomps on it and kicking it towards the hallway. Followed by intense cursing and finally he punches the door.

"Well why not just go to his room and harass him till he gives us the key?" I add. Dei snaps out of his fit and orders for us to go straight there. I don't really have a choice now do I? He busts open the door only to find an empty room.

"TOBI?" He shouts.

"What are you doing?" Zetsu's voice sends shivers down my spine making my first reaction to grab onto Dei's hand. He turns around glaring at him. Yeah we get along now, but Zetsu still gives me the creeps every now and then.

"What does it look like! Where's that little brat!" Dei snaps.

"He went on a mission, he won't be back for at least a few days," He adds looking over at me. Our attention goes to Hidan's random loud scream coming from the other end of the hideout. Dei and I walk past Zetsu towards Hidan's room only to find him in an odd position. The whole room smells like urine. His bed is soaked, and Hidan himself is hanging upside down dripping with the weird substance.

"Did Hidan have a little accident?" Dei says mockingly, triggering Hidan's cursing rampage. Fidgeting like crazy trying to cut himself down.

"What happened in here Hidan?" I ask looking around for clues. That's when I notice a note taped to the door. Immediately ripping it off as Dei and Hidan watch me curious as well.

"It's Tobi," I add blankly which adds fuel to Hidan's anger. He starts to yell with more cursing while Dei tells him to shut up.

"Well you guys deserve it! But me… I didn't help at all with the prank on Tobi so why am I being punished!" I shout. Hidan starts to laugh at this.

"You guys being hand cuffed isn't even a punishment!" He says while still laughing. My face turns slightly pink as I look down at the cuffs. The note did say that it was only the beginning so maybe the whole hand cuff thing is simply for humiliation while he prepares the real thing. Either way when that guy gets back from his mission, he's dead meat. After about five minutes of his annoying laugh he orders us to cut him down. After all he's said and done before, I whisper to Dei to just leave him up there smelling like urine and all. I look above his feet spotting an empty bucket and laugh quietly to myself. When Dei agrees and starts to lead me out, Hidan starts with his threats. I turn around giving him a death glare which makes him slightly grin. I slam the door with it locked in the inside so no one else can get in. Hidan continues to cuss and yell as Dei leads me to the kitchen.

"Well I guess we'll be stuck like this for a while so let's just get some things clear," Dei says opening the fridge and putting on the table a packet of fresh ham. "You make me food, and I eat it."

I smack his face, which surprises him as I glare intensely at him.

"Calm down yeah? I was kidding," He smiles slightly as I take a seat at the table. Obviously not smiling.

"You can't fall asleep because I want to go watch TV!" He says noticing me rest my head on my arm. "Nay!"

Dei used to be so nice to me and now he's cranky most of the time. Like Sasori said his kindness dies down once he gets used to you. I pretend to snore to annoy him more as he gently shakes me to wake up. I shoot my head up as he takes a step back. He slaps his forehead and tugs my wrist to go with him. After minutes of debating we finally make a decision. I wanted to go to my room and draw and he wants to go sit on the couch watching TV with Kakuzu. So we go grab my sketchbook and sit on the couch. Not going to be able to get much done with the noise of the TV on, but I have no other choice then to at least try.

~::.::.::.::.::Later that night::.::.::.::.::~

"Good night you two," Kakuzu mocks sounding just like Hidan. "By the way where is Hidan?" I open my mouth to answer him, but Dei covers it and closes the door. I smack his hand away and that's when I realize we are going to have to sleep next to each other again. Well he could sleep on the floor, but my hand would have to hang uncomfortably over the bedside.

"Back to back," I add. He sighs and removes his Akatsuki cloak. I stand their uncomfortably and finally we both lay down. He falls asleep almost immediately as I lay there staring at the wall. Lots of things going through my mind, while trying to remember the dream I had just last night and nothing comes to mind. Sometimes I wonder who I really am. And what's the mark on my neck. What happened to my memories?

….

"Stop! Please…don't leave me..." Nayumei whines in her sleep. Deidara wakes up looking over at her, noticing she's covered in sweat as she fidgets from her nightmare. He gently shakes her, but sees it's just not working so he calls her name making her eyes open. He explains her ranting which angers her as she tries to get up forgetting they're handcuffed.

"Damn," She huffs and lays back down. Deidara can't help, but wonder what she was dreaming. He's also curious about her past and who she really is. But he just shrugs it off, and minutes later they both fall asleep again.

In the morning when they awoke they found themselves the same as the other day. Nayumei laying on his chest, and his arm around her. Both not even aware how it happened. Nay shoves him sitting up suggesting they go get Tobi early. Dei agrees reluctantly saying it's not a bad idea as they gather their things and prepare to head out to find him.


	13. Chapter 13 Patience Running Out

"Where do you two think you're going?" Pain says as we walk by his office. Someone should have checked if the door was closed first before we walked by, but no one was smart enough to check. I sigh and glare at Deidara knowing one of us better come up with a good excuse because Pain is very hard to trick. He can sense right through someone's B.S if you're not careful with your words and keeping a straight face. Dei walks us into his office and Pain raises his eyebrow waiting for our explanation. It's going to be a hard one because of the packed backpack on my back and the fact that we weren't assigned a mission, and on top of that it looks like we're holding hands when were not. To someone else it might look like we're running away together.

"Um…we were just…going to…um walk somewhere to get some tea. You know how women are yeah?" Dei says nervously and starts to laugh satisfied with his answer. I shove my fist into his side making him grunt out. Pain keeps a straight blank face waiting for my explanation now. I sigh knowing I might as well tell the truth.

"Just tell us where Tobi is," I add. Dei slightly glares at me like he can't believe I just said that. Pain shakes his head already figuring it all out. After all that little freak handcuffed us and then goes on a mission for a week, leaving us here angry and confused.

"I'm sorry but I just can't tell you where he is. Knowing Dei he will surely hurt him and as for you Nayumei, well I happen to know you don't like him very much yourself," Pain adds.

"No one likes the fuck face!" Hidan shouts bursting through the door. My first reaction is how did he get down and out of his room? My second reaction is the sudden horrid smell entering the room, and me covering my face taking a step behind Dei.

"Hidan please step outside you're stinking up my office," Pain says calmly. Hidan sniffs himself and storms out cussing some more. I start to laugh softly until Pain says back to serious business. We aren't supposed to hurt the kid we just simply need to apologize for the prank and he will give us the key and that's that. Tobi will be back in about a day or two.

"I don't have to apologize because I didn't do anything…" I add softly. Pain slightly glares at me making me nervous. Konan walks in right at that moment which seems to ease the tension as Pain slightly smiles at her. Dei nudges me giving me the hint to start heading backwards until we walk out of the door, but as soon as I take a step, Pain orders us to stay still. I panic and start to ramble on about this all being Dei and Hidan's fault and I shouldn't have to sit through this lecture. He sighs and finalizes what he has to say by adding we are not to leave the base until Tobi is here safe and sound and we are no longer handcuffed. I nod in agreement but Dei isn't too happy. He was looking forward to hunting for Tobi.

"Let's go Dei," I tug at his hand until he finally just rolls his eyes and pushes me to the side and walks ahead of me.

**~.::.::.::.::.::.~ A few hours later ~.::.::.::.::.::.~**

It was safe to say Dei and Nay were getting on each other's nerves, being together 24/7 for about a week now. Tobi was supposed to be back earlier until some delay and Dei is literally going insane. Nay is sick and tired of being the center of the jokes in the hideout and the more the days go by the more Nay is irritated by every little thing Dei does or say. Poor Tobi, when he returns things will only get worse for him. Nay looks over at Dei who shoves a chair out of his way and reaches for some milk in the fridge.

"Calm down," I sigh and looks to the side getting tired of his mood swings.

"Be quiet, yeah?" He snaps and slams the carton on the table and reaches for a glass.

"No, now quit being so angry!" I shout and grab the carton and put it back in the fridge. He glares at me and tries to open it again, but I stand in the way.

"Get out of the way Nay…" He says coldly. I glare at him as he tries to reach around me. I press myself on the door and shake my head. He tries to move me, but can't so he gets even closer to make me uncomfortable.

"Damn it Dei…" I snap. We hear more laughter and turn to the door seeing Hidan laugh.

"Just shut the fuck up Hidan! There is nothing going on with me and Dei so go find something else to make fun of! It's getting fucking old and you're not even funny!" Nay shouts at the top of her lungs. Both guys just stand there with their mouths open. Nay rarely ever cusses and when she does you know she's really pissed about something. She storms off tugging Dei roughly as she shoves past Hidan pressing him into the wall. He turns around and glares at her and then simply smirks.

"Nay?" Deidara says softly as they walk past the living room. She doesn't say anything as she tries to calm herself, but the stress just keeps building and it's just not helping with her weird dreams lately. On top of that it's her turn for a mood swing.

"I haven't heard you cuss like that before…" Dei says again trying to make eye contact. I turn around and attempt to slap him, but he grabs my hand startling me.

"Just calm down, yeah? You just have to tune out that idiot," He says softly and attempts a smile. I sigh and look at the ground wishing that I could go off alone. He rolls his eyes and gives me a surprise hug. My face goes flush and I sigh to calm myself, and right at that moment Itachi walks out of the living room and stares at us. I shove Dei away confusing him as he turns around and sees for himself. Always with the bad timing it seems these days.

"Itachi would you happen to know where Tobi went?" I ask breaking the awkward silence. He shakes his head and walks by us, glaring at Deidara first and then proceeding. I just know something is going to happen before Tobi gets here with the key. It's all just a major pain. Dei suggests going and sitting in the living room, and we do. We take a seat on the couch across from Kakuzu as he reads his magazine.

After an hour Nayumei had fallen asleep and fell on Dei's shoulder. Not wanting to wake her up he let her cuddle up and simply smirked.

**~.::.::.::.::.::.~ Two days later ~.::.::.::.::.::.~**

"Tobi almost home?" Tobi shouts to Sasori who glares at the kid. The hideout was appearing in the sunrise making Sasori very glad to no longer have to be with Tobi.

"Let's hurry…" He says quietly. Tobi stops and remembers what he did and hesitates to continue going further. "What are you waiting for kid?"

"Tobi scared…" He mumbles. Sasori shakes his head and walks ahead leaving him behind. Tobi knew he would have this coming when he would return. He was just tired of being made fun of and finally decided to try and get even. He knew the consequences would come and he'd been dreading coming back, that's why he tried to delay the mission. But with Sasori it was rather difficult since he has little to no patience. Tobi sighed and got a sick feeling in his stomach and raises his chin. He was ready for what was to come; secretly knowing Pain wouldn't let anyone hurt him and that's why suddenly feeling confident.

"Hurry up!" Sasori shouts. Tobi shakes his head vigorously and starts to sprint after him.

**…...**

I stretch my arms out yawning looking over at Deidara who is still asleep. He snores softly and turns himself a little on his side facing my direction. I stare at his face as his eyes slightly twitch. That's when I realize this is the perfect opportunity to get a good look at his eye that's covered by his hair. I remember seeing some weird sort of metal thing, but he never really explained what it was. I slowly lift my free hand and start to reach for his face. His head moves adjusting to his pillow, startling me. Slowly I place my hand on his face pushing his bang back to reveal an eye scope. Right at that moment he opens his eyes and stares into mine, while my hand is still on his cheek.

"Um…" I stutter and slightly blush noticing his slight blush as well. "Why do you have on an eye scope?" I add, too afraid to move my hand.

"I…" He starts and then we hear a knocking at the door.

"Tobi is back!" Hidan shouts angrily and then followed by his footsteps walking away.

"TOBI!" Dei snaps and gets up heading to the door. I sigh in relieve that the awkwardness is gone and get dragged along behind him. Finally what we've been waiting for; Tobi is back to beat up, and the key is only a few minutes away. We head towards the direction Hidan went and find him sitting on the couch with his arms crossed.

"Where is Tobi?" I ask. Hidan shakes his head and adds on that he's staying in Pain's office and wants to see us but in a calm manner. Apparently Hidan as already attempted to talk to Tobi and failed. Dei rambles on about how he's going to hurt Tobi, until I slap his arm reminding him about being calm.

"If you want him to give us the key then you have to pretend to be nice got that?" I add coldly. Hidan starts to laugh and we head off to Pain's office. We hear muffling coming from inside and I knock immediately feeling anxious. He tells us we can enter calmly. Dei shoves me and busts the door open.

"WHERE IS HE?" He shouts. I slap my forehead and shake my head. Pain orders him to calm down. I look behind him and see Tobi sleeping on a chair looking so peaceful. Quit surprising Dei didn't wake him…unless he's faking it.

"Tobi just give us the key…please," I add.

Tobi gets up and walks towards Pain taking a stand by him telling us no. Pain rolls his eyes and looks down at this hands telling Tobi he agreed he was going to give it to us. He shakes his head and starts to whine that we don't deserve it and the only way is if Dei and Hidan apologize to him. Knowing the both of them, that's most likely never going to happen. I yank Dei's sleeve and push him towards the door.

"Dei please just apologize so we can be free, ok?" I whisper. Dei rolls his eyes and starts to cuss under his breath.

"If Dei kisses Nay I'll give back key, ok?" Tobi adds. I lunge forward to hit him and Dei holds me back. Pain starts to laugh at the suggestion and Tobi crosses his arms and then takes out a silver key from his pocket and dangles it in front of us.

"Why a kiss! You just said if they apologized Tobi? Just give us the key and quit making this more complicated than it already is!" I shout.

"No!" He shouts back. Dei nudges my arm and whispers it will be quick and then we'll get the key and get out of here. I slightly blush at the idea and look at him then over to Pain and Tobi. "Fine."

Dei and I stand face to face. I look down at his collar feeling nerves take over my whole body and the trembling starts. Dei looks pretty calm, obviously because he's not experiencing this weird feeling I get around him. He keeps a blank face and slowly we start to lean in and hear Tobi chuckle. I give him a side glare and then look back at Dei; hearing my heart beat unbearably fast. Out of nowhere Hidan runs in cussing and with his weapon charging at Tobi and breaking Pain's desk in half. Dei shoves me to the wall as we stand back in shock as Hidan chases Tobi out of the room. It takes a few seconds to process until Pain shoots up and runs out the door calling Hidan's name. We hear yelling and some girly screams obviously not Konan, and wonder if Hidan has hurt Tobi yet. We hear Tobi cry out insults and Hidan's cussing gets even louder. Pain's voice shouts over them trying to calm both of them down as I sigh and look down at my feet. I was sure Dei would run after them but I guess not.

Tobi runs back in and trips on the threshold, making the key fly forward to my feet. My heart skips a beat as Dei bends down to grab it and Tobi dives for it at the same time. They bump heads and Tobi grabs it and backs away.

"MINE!" He shouts and dangles it to mess with us.

"Tobi give it to us please?" I add softly. He starts to walk towards us and then he puts it in his mouth and to our horror forces it down his throat, swallowing it.

"You'll get it back in a few hours!" He shouts and slowly walks back out of the room. It takes a while to realize my mouth is wide open and then Dei slams his fist into the wall saying he should have blown him up when he had the chance.

**~.::.::.::.::.::.~ A few hours later ~.::.::.::.::.::.~**

I flip the page in my magazine looking at a new column. Dei sighs and lies on his back. I've gotten quit comfortable in here since we've been living in the same room for about a week now. Tobi ate the key and we're supposed to wait till it comes back out…which is disgusting. Deidara swore once we were free he was going to retaliate against Tobi. As for Hidan well he got some kicks in there until Pain interfered and now Hidan is grounded to his room. Dei looks up at me making me feel jittery again. I lift the magazine to cover my pink face thinking back to the almost kiss in the office.

Suddenly we hear a knocking at the door followed by Konan's voice saying she has the key. We open it to find her dangling a plastic bag with the silver key in it. Her face crinkles at the sight and I turn around feeling like vomiting. She adds that it was washed before it was placed in the bag and not to worry, but the thought that it has been through Tobi's body is just disgusting.

"I'm not touching that…" I add. Dei rolls his eyes and takes the bag, while I thank Konan who walks off. "Well this is it….do it already!"

Dei nods and takes it out of the bag, and slowly puts it into the key hole and turns it breaking the cuff from my hand. I start to rub my wrist as he takes the cuff off his hand and throws it away.

"I'm free!" I shout in the hallway. Dei smiles shyly and then looks down at his hand. I stop smiling realizing it seems like it's been years since we've been attached and now all of a sudden there's this gap between us.

"Dei…?" I stutter and walk towards him. He looks up without a word, making it absolutely quiet in the hallway. My mind goes blank for a second as I grab his cloak and slowly pull him in for a kiss. Realizing what I've done I push away and stumble back leaning against the wall of the hallway.

"Sorry…" I stutter. He laughs quietly and then walks towards me putting his hand under my chin and pressing his lips onto mine causing my knees to go weak. He wraps his arm around my waist and laughs slightly pulling away to reveal both our faces pink. We hear footsteps coming and I shove him away slightly clearing my throat. Itachi walks towards us with a blank expression and stops right in between us.

"We have a mission…you and I, so be ready tomorrow morning," He says and looks over at Deidara as he gives him an intense glare. I nod and he starts to walk off again; Deidara continues to glare daggers at him and then looks at me, making his expression change.

"Well see yeah…" I mumble breaking the silence; he nods as I start to walk off until he grabs my wrist startling me.

"Hang out with me for a bit, un," He says sweetly. I smile and take his hand as I walk back into his room, leaving the door slightly open in case someone needs something.

"Now time to plan what Tobi gets and it's going to be horrible…"Deidara thinks to himself. Nay rests her head against the bedside looking at some drawings she left in there and stops when she comes across a drawing of a red haired boy. Dei asks what she's looking at and she hides it from him whispering it's nothing. Dei starts to brainstorm all the horrible things he could do to Tobi, while Nay tries to figure out why the boy in the picture looks so familiar.


	14. Chapter 14 The Red Haired Boy

**I know I've been updating this story very slowly and I apologize. I've been very busy with other stories and school work, but I'm starting to get back on track with this one! There's still alot to happen in this story so I can't and won't give up on this. Anyways reviews are good because they motivate me to continue ^-^ and update faster. Anyways enjoy this chapter and let me know watcha think or any helpful tips are appreciated.**

* * *

Nayumei awakes from her slumber in her room. It feels very different since, she got so adjusted to sleeping in Dei's. Though this would give people the wrong idea if they continued it, so they decided best to try and return to their normal lives. Besides the fact that they kissed! Tobi had starting hanging around Pain, using him as a body guard and when Tobi needed something Konan would accompany him. Deidara has been planning some sort of revenge plot and hasn't included anyone else into it; keeping every single detail to himself. Tobi knew it was coming, but believed as long as Pain was around he couldn't do anything.

"Well look who slept in their own bed finally," A voice says from behind me. Already knowing who it is I turn around to face Hidan with my arms crossed.

"What are you doing? Stalking me?" I add coldly while giving him my famous death glare. He simply smirks at my attitude adding that it sucks for Dei to have to put up with it now. "What do you mean?" I stutter nervously.

"I saw you guy's yesterday sucking face," He grins and starts to laugh walking off.

"WE WERE NOT SUCKING FACE!" I shout. Yes he just likes to annoy me as much as he can. Well I guess there's nothing I can do except shrug it off because I have to leave soon on a mission with Itachi and I'm starting to feel anxious about it. I start to head towards Dei's room and before I even knock, he opens the door with a smirk.

"My pet," He says calmly making my face turn red. "Bring me a sandwich yeah?" He adds ruining the moment. I look down at the ground and clench my fist, feeling a shadow of darkness drape over me.

"Make your own damn sandwich!" I snap and attempt to slap him. He grins and grabs a hold of my hand, that's when I remind him of my mission with Itachi. Whenever his name is just mentioned his face crinkles. He lets go of my hand and puts on a blank straight face.

"I just stopped bye to let you know I'll be gone for a few days or so. Can you please make sure no one enters my room and snoops through my things?" I add thinking of Hidan or even Tobi entering in. The idea of them going in and tampering with my things makes me want to go over right now and beat them for it, even though they haven't done anything.

"Yeah, yeah," Dei adds slightly yawning and not sounding very serious about it. I give him a disappointed look making him roll his eyes and pulling me in for a quick hug.

"That includes you Dei…" I mumble into his shoulder. He sighs adding to watch myself around Itachi because the quiet ones are always the ones you watch out for. I blink twice before answering him, telling him not to be so jealous. He slightly blushes and glares at me that he is not jealous of that Uchiha.

"Whatever you say," I add not convinced and start to walk off heading for the living room where Itachi said we should meet. I adjust my backpack on my back and wait patiently and before I know it he appears at the door way asking if I'm ready to go. I didn't think what I was going to say next as I blurted out why I had to go on a mission with just him.

"Kisame is gone," He adds still not fully answering why I was chosen to accompany him. He explains we have to do some investigation on a Jinchuuriki who is currently on a mission in a nearby village. So our task is to simply drop by unnoticed and watch for any helpful tips.

**~.::.::.::.::.::.~ A few minutes later ~.::.::.::.::.::.~**

"So we're not going to capture it?" I ask as we walk out for the base. This has been a first in a very long time of getting a good close up of Itachi's face. As I recall he does like to keep distance from the rest, many time spending time alone in his room. Always so serious and I've never asked around what's his story.

"No," He finally says answering my question and breaking my train of thought.

"But what happens if it's vulnerable, we're just going to walk away from it?" I add.

"Our assignment was simply to observe, nothing more," He adds blankly. I start to talk again, getting up the nerve to ask him about his past and why he left the leaf village, judging by the symbol on his headband. But he interrupts me before I can say anything, telling me to be quiet and listen. I hadn't even noticed how much time had passed since we left the base. Almost an hour only seeming like about ten minutes. I must have zoned out so much. Itachi scans around calmly with his eyes looking angrily.

"We're close," He says almost in a whisper with his soft, but deep voice. A village starts to appear in the clearing. We look down from the top of the hill we stand, getting a good view of the entire village. Itachi starts to lead, as we calmly get closer and closer towards the village. I start to feel and ominous feeling and look around nervously as my head tells me to be prepared. But be prepared for what? "It's nearby." Itachi says calmly adjusting his bamboo hat to cover more of his face. I stare at the back of his head waiting for him to add on but he doesn't say anymore.

"They're getting farther away; this is our time to snoop around some more on what exactly is their mission. Ready to go in to town?" He says. My mouth opens slightly.

"Uhm…won't people see our Akatsuki cloaks and make a scene?" I add. Itachi keeps his blank expression making me feel like I just asked the dumbest question anyone could ask. He shakes his head and closes his eyes and starts to walk towards the village.

"Hey wait a minute!" I shout grabbing his sleeve he turns to me with those sharp eyes sending a cold shiver throughout my body. Such an intimidating look that I would usually not let affect me, but with him it was different. He was different than the others. This guy was so bitter it was almost contagious; his attitude I mean. Just being around him made you feel gloomier, and yet I wondered why? Why was Itachi like this? What was he hiding? Was I the only one that didn't know about him? I get an image of Dei glaring daggers at him and also start to wonder why does he hate him so much?

**~.::.::.::.::.::.~ Two hours later~.::.::.::.::.::.~**

Itachi and I had done some snooping around to concur this Jinchuuriki was with his team consisting of two other members. Apparently some easy escort mission and they were to have picked up their client here, then escort him somewhere and lastly bring him back here. Which is what Itachi meant, when he said they were getting farther away because they were leaving. So until then we have to wait around for him to return. Though Itachi hasn't mentioned to me what village this one is from. I guess the element of surprise is to play its part here. I look around and grab an apple off a stand giving a man some money. Itachi said this village was very small and they probably haven't even heard of our organization, which I find hard to believe since we're supposed to be the most dangerous. Once I finish my apple I discard the core and start to play with one of my side pony tails while Itachi continues walking off with me following behind.

"I wonder if I should ask him right now…" I mumble softly looking at the back of his head. I have so many questions to ask him. "Itachi-kun…" I start to say and am silenced. I scratch the back of my head not sure what's wrong.

"They're here," He says and disappears.

"Itachi?" I shout looking from corner to corner. I see him standing on a roof top and quickly make way towards him. Minutes later three mysterious ninja looking like they are from another village, appear with weapons in hand.

"Are one of those him?" I ask. He shakes his head adding, the real one was still to come, and when he gets here I'll know which one it is. "So then who are these guys?" He puts his finger to his mouth signaling for me to be quiet and quit asking so many damn questions. This whole mission just seems so out of Itachi's league. He seems the type to be doing hardcore fighting, not simply observing from a distance. There must be a reason why Pain assigned him to do this and with me.

Suddenly four people emerge from some bushes and walk towards the three figures. Two of them stay behind. A girl with blonde hair tied back into four pony tails, and elder man while two boys step forward. One in a black cat like suit, and another with red hair and a red outfit. My heart starts to beat loud and fast as I stare at the red haired one.

The three figures point their kunai knife towards them challenging them to a fight and the winner gets to have the older man. The girl simply smirks, and the one in the black suit starts to laugh as well. While the mysterious red haired boy lifts up his hands. Sand starts to come out of a gourd on his back, and in a flash takes out the three ninja before him, filling the air with terrifying screams. I stare at him with an open mouth trying to make words come out to Itachi but nothing comes out.

"That b-boyy…" I stutter nervously. He lifts his head up towards the sky like he can see us, and for a minute it seemed like we made eye contact making me feel such a strange rush.

"Gaara?" One of his teammates calls him. He turns to them and they talk for a bit and start to walk off.

"That name…" I whisper softly suddenly feeling images bombard my head. Followed by an intense throbbing, like my head is about to pop. Blood starts to tickle from my ears and my neck begins to shoot knives of pain as I fall back on my back moaning out in pain. Itachi stands there stunned and unable to form any words as he tries to comfort me, but has no idea how. An image of a man with fangs running towards me causes me to fidget uncontrollably as he comes up to me and sinks his fangs deep into my neck. I stand there defenseless until I come back to reality looking up at Itachi.

"Whaaat is going on!" I shout pulling into fetal position. I then see an image of a woman look down at me with a fake smile and in her hands are suitcases. Suddenly I see thousands of bodies lying on the ground surrounded by pools of blood. The curse mark on my neck starts to free it's self from the seal Pain and Konan had placed making my body give out as it goes dark.

**…...**

Itachi tries to wake her up, but her pulse is fading so he swings her over his shoulder and starts to head towards the base for Konan and Pain to help her. When he finally arrived, Deidara immediately tried to attack the Uchiha causing a scene and shouting. Assuming this was his doing or he wasn't willing to help and Nay wasn't able to defend for herself.

"You basterd, if I find out this is your fault, I'll kill you, "He says coldly. Pain comes to check the scene seeing blood on Nayumei's neck and immediately calling for Konan as they carry her to the infirmary. Hidan sits on the couch amused and licks his lips as Sasori holds back Deidara telling him to shut up, for causing him a headache.

**~.::.::.::.::.::.~ A few hours later ~.::.::.::.::.::.~**

Nayumei awakes in the infirmary with a patch on her curse mark and a ringing sound in her ear. She slowly opens her eyes and looks around the room. Feeling like vomiting.

"Morning sleepy head!" Deidara's voice calls softly. She looks to her right and sees him standing there with a grin on his face.

"What happened?" I stutter putting my hand on my forehead. The hinge of the door makes a loud sound as I see pain walk in.

"Something must have triggered your old memories, causing that jutsu someone put on you to suppress them, to fight it out of your system. The overall effect resulted in your curse mark trying to activate," Pain says calmly with little emotion in his voice.

"My memories?" I mumble. Dei puts his hand on my shoulder helping me keep my balance as I slowly sit up and nearly fall to the side, off the bed.

"Itachi said it was right after you saw that Jinchuuriki from the sand," Pain adds. Dei's eyes widen just now hearing this new information as he stares down at Nay.

"Sand village, eh?" He whispers, repeating what Pain just said to himself.

"Sand village…" Nay says softly. An idea pops in Nay's mind; if she were to return to the sand village could her memories return? What was it about that village and that boy? Pain continues explain they have yet to find information on the jutsu placed on her memories. Deidara tells himself he will be the one to kill the sand Jinchuuriki when the time comes for whatever it was he did to Nay. And that time was defiantly approaching soon. The time to finally finish the plot was getting closer, closer than they thought.


	15. Chapter 15 Into the Mist

"Sasori tell Deidara I'm going to be out for a while and I can't hang with him today."

Sasori nods his head and closes the door again. Nayumei pushes her pony tails to the back of her shoulders and looks down the hallway and starts to walk away from the room. Some of the other members have left to capture Jinchuuriki and only a few remain. Nayumei was not assigned again so she has nothing else to do really. Once they capture them they seal them into what Pein calls the gigantic king of hell, which is where they seal away the Jinchuurikis' extracted from their hosts. Only a few left to capture, and according to Tobi the most difficult to capture are the ones that remain.

I walk out into the rain with my bamboo hat knowing this is the best time to clear my head and try and gather my thoughts. A great opportunity to be off alone and hopefully no one will follow.

"Tobi want to come!" I hear his voice shout making me run forward, but when I look to the side there he is running beside me. I spoke too soon…

"Damn it Tobi….fine," I huff and cross my arms as he sneezes. I stare at his mask and fight back the temptation of pulling it off. I know he wouldn't let me, but the curiosity is killing me!

**…...**

After a few minutes I storm back inside bumping into Deidara, making my face turn red.

"Nay…? I thought you were going to be gone today," He says softly.

"I was, but…" I start to say and am rudely interrupted by Tobi yelling. Ever since Deidara pulled his prank on Tobi there has been even more tension. Though only Tobi, Dei, and Pain know what it was that Dei did. Pain thought it best to keep it a secret and whenever I ask Dei or Tobi they avoid the subject. I sigh trying to shake it out of my head then glare at Tobi.

"Go away, stupid un," Dei hisses and grabs my hand dragging me away from Tobi and his fit. I glance back at him a couple times as he punches the walls and stomps on the ground yelling insults.

"Anyways… I was wondering why you were ditching me today," He says with a slight smile. I blink twice before I start to explain that I needed to go for a walk and clear my head. But Tobi interrupted it, and then I ran into him when I came in early. He laughs slightly and then I see Kakuzu approaching us.

"Pain needs to see you Akada," He says. It's been awhile since anyone has referred to me by my last name. It sounds so formal and I could only assume it's something serious. I sigh and shrug my shoulders while giving Dei a sorry expression. He rolls his eyes and crosses his arms and when I start to walk off I hear him question Kakuzu.

I sigh heavily before entering Pain's office who looks up from his pile of papers with his pissed off look. Not sure whether to know if he's angry or that's just how his straight face looks like. I take a seat and right away ask what the deal is.

"It's sort of early…but I need you to go pick something from the village hidden in the mist. I have a spy there who should have something for me, and all you have to do is go to him and get it for me. I know your still recovering, but everyone else is gone or about to leave soon on other tasks," He says. "So you're the only one left."

"Wait I have to go by myself?" I stutter looking at his many piercings. He looks at me with his piercing eyes and then closes his eyes and nods.

"What about Deidara? Or Sasori or Tobi?" I add.

"They'll be leaving soon, by the time you get back they'll be on their way, and they have another task to do right before that so I can't give them triple the work, besides this is a good chance to show how well you are as a candidate for a future official member of the Akatsuki. You have to be able to do solo missions. Especially if your partner dies."

I shake my head and look down at my hands sitting on my lap. Everything is going by so fast, now that the plan is going into action again, what with all the Jinchuuriki having to be captured, and us finally making our move. Everyone is into different moods and only about four people are currently here. Some have been gone for days and I knew when I came here it wasn't supposed to be like a big happy family or anything... After all we are criminals. I smile when I think back to the failed family dinner and then stand up pushing my chair back.

"Alright then I guess I better get going, huh?" I add sternly. He slides a piece of paper towards my side of the desk.

"This is the spy, Shotetsu, look for him and he should have those files, then afterwards I need you to kill him."

"Kill him?" The words repeat in my head as it seems to get absolutely silent in the room.

"I understand."

**~.::.::.::.::.::.~ Later that day~.::.::.::.::.::.~**

As I look back towards the empty base I throw my backpack on the floor and take off my Akatsuki cloak and fold it neatly placing it into my bag. I leave my grass village headband where it is and start to walk off towards the village Pain requested. Going on missions alone are always risky, but then again since I'm not an official member no one should be able to recognize who I am. Unless I run into grass shinobi….

I look down at the paper Pain gave me. A man looking in his thirties with scars on his face and black shaggy hair wearing a plain black cape.

"Looks like a loser," I whisper softly and continue to walk off. It's been about five hours since I left and the night has already fallen. Dei and Sasori were supposed to go do something and then would return to the base and when I'd get back they'd have to leave again. I don't know what Tobi was supposed to do… I wasn't exactly sure what they were up too, but if I asked I'm certain no one would tell me anyways. Of course I haven't already forgotten what happened on the mission with Itachi.

"I just wish I could remember again, remember everything," I say softly while starring at the stars in the sky.

I reach up to touch my neck were my mark is supposed to be. But then I suddenly hear something from behind. I continue to walk acting natural while slowly taking out a knife and holding it in my hand. I close my eyes and sense someone there and continue to walk forward feeling the presence creep around from the sides.

"There you are."

I throw my knife and make a direct hit as I hear a guy moan in pain followed by a thump. I walk over and see a ninja I've never seen before lying there with the knife in his shoulder. He appears to be unconscious so I tie him up to the tree and walk back to my trail soon to be at the village Pain had described.

**…...**

When the morning had finally hit I started to walk into mist. Of course the rumors were true. This place was surrounded by it and only rarely it would clear up. I know this is my chance to prove myself once again that I can do well on a solo mission. The mist is definitely thick and chilling. Out into the clearly I notice two figures standing by the entrance to the village. This is where the guards jump at a stranger. I approach them and as soon as they see me they stand up and stare asking what I'm doing here.

"State your name miss," They say rather coldly. I smirk, sending them into a fit as one of them steps out of the stands. When I look up he stumbles back as vines appear grabbing and wrapping themselves all around the two ninja until they are completely unable to move. I continue to approach into the village as the mist clears up a bit revealing little houses and buildings all around. I look down at the picture one more time while walking by some people. A few men stop to stare at me as I continue to walk through looking right and left.

"Have you seen a Shotetsu?" I stop to ask a woman. She shakes her head and eyes me from head to toe like she's disgusted and continues to walk off. "I wonder what kind of files are they?" I say out loud while putting a finger to my chin.

"Looking for something miss?" A voice says malevolently from behind me. I turn around slowly seeing an older ninja staring at me with a disgusting grin; reminding me of Hidan's.

"That's none of your business."

"Someone's in a bad mood….better watch who you're talking to miss," He says sounding full of himself. I stay silent and start to walk off until he attempts to grip my hand and I flip him onto his back. That's when I see five other aggressive looking ninja walk out from the shop looking down at him.

"Shotetsu?" I ask looking around at all of them then confirm none of them look like the man in the photo.

"Get her still!" The one I just flipped shouts at all of them and they all run towards me with weapons. I flinch and jump back with my hands in ready position not wanting to cause a big scene with my boomerang. If I was going to find this guy I was going to have to be careful and finish these guys off quickly. Out of nowhere a guy appears from behind and flips me over him slamming me into the ground attempting to pin me down. I shoot my legs forward kicking him in his sensitive area and then flinging him back towards one of the other ninja who surround me. One starts to do hand signs.

"Water style! Water prison!" Shouts one of them as the mist becomes heavy around me forming into water walls. I suddenly feel like I'm suffocating as I fall to my knees trying to come up with a plan and trying to stay calm. I imagine Deidara and what he would do in this situation and come up with nothing.

"No choice… Damn it," I whisper softly and rip the boomerang from my necklace and rip the walls allowing myself to escape.

I fling it once knocking out four of the guys as they fall down. But there were a total of six. I look around and fling again to get rid of the mist, but something goes wrong. Usually when I threw it, it would come back to me slowing down, but this time it comes at me full force. I jump out of the way but it turns just like I did and smacks me in the chest and shoulders knocking me back several feet. It feels like every bone in my body is broken as I struggle to get back on my feet. I cough out blood and hold onto my ribs as they send out waves of pain throughout my body. I let out a cry as I fall back down to my stomach and hear footsteps coming my way.

"Stupid bitch," They hiss. As one kicks my side. I scream out in pain again. When he attempts it again something stops him. I close my eyes waiting for the impact, but when it doesn't come I open my eyes to see the guy's leg covered with sand.

"What the…What is this?" He shouts panicking as it completely surrounds him making him float off the ground. I slowly rise myself to my knees holding my side as sand comes to the other guy. Out of the mist emerges a red figure with his hand stretched out in front of him. I gasp when I realize who it is.

_"Get inside now!"_

_He is just a little kid like me…Why does everyone treat him so badly?_

Voices start to race through my mind causing my head to start throbbing again. The guys start to fidget screaming to let them go. I weakly raise my head to stare at the red figure approaching me as he finishes off the guys.

"_Gaara."_

"Stay away from me!" I try to shout, but feel myself fading. My voice, barely audible, and my head…it's too much to handle. Next thing I knew I fell forward and someone gently placed their hands on my shoulder as I closed my eyes. "Make it stop…please."

**…...**

"_Thank you Nayumei. I'm sorry I was a bad mother," _A figure stands before me and picks up her suitcases and opens a door letting a white light enter the room.

_"Mom where are you going?" _I shout stepping towards her as she shook her head.

_"I promise I'll be back," _she says.

_"Promise?" _I say tightening my grip on the toy in my hand. She nods and heads out the door as I sit there for what seems for days. Waiting….and waiting,

"_Where are you now mommy?"_

**~.::.::.::.::.::.~ A few hours later~.::.::.::.::.::.~**

I start to awake when I feel movement underneath me. I open my eyes and see red hair not sure who it could be.

"We're almost there…" He says softly but still maintaining his seriousness.

"Gaara...?" I think to myself, before realizing it was actually him and he was carrying me. I feel panic rush through as I try and sit up, surprising him. I scream out from the ripping pain coming from all over my body and my ribs especially. Like just that one attempt had made me paralyzed again as I lay there not able to move, resting my head against his shoulder. He continues to walk on forward, but being too tired I don't feel like asking where it was he was taking me. All I knew was this boy…there was something about him that brought back images and I wonder if he was in my past. This boy from the sand…I wonder if he knew who I was? If he could tell me who I once was. More importantly did he know who I was now? If so why is he helping me? A random stranger…he doesn't seem the kind to be doing this. Just by his facial expression and his eyes.

I remember back to when I saw him fighting, with Itachi and from what I just saw before I passed out. He didn't seem the type to have any sort of sympathy for anyone. Maybe not even himself.

"There was no one else around. And your wounds are serious…I couldn't wake you." He says. He must have read my mind and was trying to clarify himself. Apparently I was so out of it and he was trying to wake me up for several minutes. When I showed no sign of coming back he decided to carry me towards a hospital…anywhere.

"So he must not know…Who I am," I tell myself staring up at him. His eyes surrounded by dark circles, making him look tired, yet he has that angry facial expression.

"My name…is Nayumei," I stutter and wait for his reaction. He doesn't even flinch…not even a blink or a raised eyebrow. "My assumptions were wrong…" I think to myself suddenly feeling disappointed. It seems like forever that we've been walking in this mist.

"_He's the Jinchuuriki."_

"_He's a monster stay away from him!"_

I shake my head feeling another headache coming on. I don't understand why these voices won't leave me alone…I just… I just want to remember.


	16. Chapter 16 Burden

"Did I pass out again?" I hear my voice echo back several times. I look around the white room I'm lying in and see no one else around, just a big empty white space. "Where am I anyways? Am I….Am I dreaming?"

**…...**

I open my eyes noticing Gaara has stopped walking. I was thinking it was all a dream. He was just a part of my dream, but no…this is reality. This stranger that's so familiar is carrying me…and the only explanation he has was that I was severely injured and no one was around. And in the mist it would probably be days until someone else came around and by then…it would have been too late. I was so out of it, he wasn't even able to wake me so he had to carry me. My wounds won't allow me to walk on my own. Apparently I have gashes all over my body and I've been bleeding nonstop since he found me. He then explains he's had to stop a couple times to put pressure on my wounds to help slow it down. I nod taking it all in.

"Why are you really helping me? Why not just leave…and what are you doing here anyways?" I burst out. This raises his suspicions because I accidently implied that I know something about him.

"Stay focused Nayumei! He's a Jinchuuriki I'm sure…" I think to myself. It's like I just now am realizing it. When Pain and the others extract the tailed beasts from the hosts the host dies. "So…will he."

"Because if it was him…he wouldn't just leave someone in need to die, "He finally says in a monotone voice.

"Who's him?" I ask.

"I'm here to look for someone," He adds ignoring my first question. I blink twice looking up at him as we continue to walk through the mist. I can't help but wonder if we're lost. I don't remember it taking this long when I ran off from the village to lead away those ninja I was fighting. Those ninja I'm sure Gaara finished off.

"Look I think I can walk on my own," I say rather coldly remembering my mission. Shotetsu is supposed to be here and it's not exactly a good thing to befriend someone we're going to hunt for later. An idea rushes through my mind, what if I was to somehow capture this one right here and now? Deidara and the others would be so pleased…however it definitely seems like it won't be easy. But at the same time I don't think I can find it in myself to hurt him…which is weird for me. I've gotten so used to killing people without even second guessing myself and then he comes along…and now I just don't know.

"Wait here." He says in the same tone of voice and gently places me down. I stare after him as he disappears into the mist. Not even explaining what he was going to do…and for a moment I feel defenseless. I open my bag and stare at the picture of Shotetsu.

"I must not forget why I'm here…Sorry…Gaara…" I whisper softly and slowly force myself to my feet. Letting out screams and moans of pain until I finally make it to my feet. It hurts even more to stand up straight so I hunch forward and start to walk away slowly, towards the opposite direction he went and into the mist. I can't see a single thing and it's getting so thick and getting harder to breathe. I don't recall ever feeling this way before…suffocating while standing…and with my ribs probably broken it hurts even more and is taking twice the energy. I hear gushes of blood hit the ground and I extend my hand out hoping to fall on something, but instead I place my hand on someone's shoulder. I look up and look into Gaara's eyes. I lose my balance and fall into his chest feeling more blood run down onto my legs. So much blood lost I'm lucky I even made it this far.

"I told you to wait…Now you've opened your wounds more."

"Like I care! I have to finish my mission….or…" I start to say and stop myself before I say too much. He puts my arm over his shoulder and says he's found a place just up ahead and to be patient. Before I knew it we we're knocking on someone's door. A woman opens the door and helps me inside. I feel myself doze off and then come back, nearly falling over every time.

"Lay her here…" The woman says worriedly. Gaara helps and then stands by the door with his arms crossed and his regular expression. I close my eyes and feel a stinging sensation on my stomach, making a groan slip out of my mouth. The lady cleans my wounds and gives me some medicine for the pain as she starts to stitch. After what seems like hours she's finally finished and puts a cold rag on my forehead, trying to stop the fever I have. I start to fidget, and the woman realizes the medicine isn't strong enough for the pain I have.

"She has broken rips…and her shoulder blade is shattered…and she's lost a massive amount of blood," the lady reports. Gaara nods his head as she continues to explain to him a list of things that are wrong with me.

"I need to get out of here…" I tell myself while looking to the side. This house is so dainty and crammed it's making me feel cluster phobic. A man walks into the house greeting the woman with a kiss. That's when I get a good look of the older woman and see her husband. I gasp recognizing who it is and feel a dropping feeling in my stomach.

"This is my husband Shotetsu…" She says smiling. He smiles back and puts his arm around her.

"You…but….this….oh no…." I stutter confusing them all. Gaara stares at me with the same blank expression of his as the woman says she'll be right back, and disappears into the kitchen.

"I can't fail Pain…or the others," I tell myself and clench the bed sheets angered by the whole situation. "But….I can't kill him…I….just can't. He has a family… and he doesn't even seem bad." Shotetsu asks if I would like anything and I slowly shake my head no. I look over at Gaara who looks bored, and thinking about something at the same time.

"Why is he still here?" I think to myself and look down at my legs. "I have to find a way to get the files and get the hell out of here. I'm sure Pain won't notice that I didn't kill him."

"Oh...Nayumei was it?" The woman says entering the room with some tea.

"Yes…Akada..." I add. That's when Shotetsu drops his glass staring at me.

"Honey…something wrong?" She asks him placing her hand on his shoulder. He mumbles something and clears his throat and walks out of the room. Gaara watches him as he leaves then looks over at me making me nervous. At any minute someone's going to find out that I'm part of the Akatsuki and will probably ambush me. And in my state I could be easily taken down. I'm not even sure if Deidara would be willing to avenge me.

"Oh how rude of me…my name is Akira, "She says shyly. "Anyways sweetie…I'm going to need to go get something so just wait here alright?" I nod my head and fiddle with my fingers as she leaves. Leaving Gaara and I alone in the small living room. All I can think about is the dreaded moment where I'm going to have to kill Shotetsu…robbing that kind woman of her husband…probably her only family member.

"Damn it Nay…what have you gotten yourself into?" I think to myself. "What are you still doing here?" I ask Gaara whose attention seems to be elsewhere.

"Because I found who I was looking for," He says. I get a weird rush tilting my head slightly. He couldn't be talking about me? Could he…? He excuses himself saying he's going to check for something and leaves the little house.

Shotetsu walks into the room with his eyes closed and something in his hand. He looks over at the door then at me before sighing.

"Here…take it and please leave immediately…and don't hurt my wife…" He says shakily. I look up at him and take the envelope.

"How did he know I was…." I think to myself and am interrupted when he explains all he was told was that someone by the name of Akada was to come and get it. Nayumei looks down at the envelope containing the files she almost cost her life to get. Pain never told her they would be expecting her.

"I'm supposed to kill you."

His eyes widen and he takes a step back as I slowly rise off the bed and take a step on the floor putting the envelope in my bag. He was sweating for dear life. He looked so innocent and there were pictures of him and his wife on the walls. His life seemed so cozy…so why was he having meetings with Akatsuki people?

"Just stay out of trouble and don't contact the Akatsuki anymore and I'll tell them I killed you," I say seriously. He sighs in relieve and falls to his knees.

"Oh thank you!" He says with tears streaming down his face. Never in my life have I seen a man cry…besides Tobi who wasn't technically considered a man. I nod shyly and feel a weird feeling come over. I haven't showed mercy like this in a very long time. I remember back when I had my very own team in the grass village…with my two best friends and I'd go on missions and I would never think to hurt anyone who didn't deserve it. And now that I kill for a living I suddenly feel sympathy and regret for all my past victims. He stands up and offers me a drink, but I put my bag on my back and look over to the door.

"No thanks. Do you have a back door?" I add. He nods slowly and points to his left then asks about Gaara who he refers to as my friend. I hesitate for a second feeling like I owe him at least a thank you. So I tell Shotetsu to pass it on and with that being said exit through the back and start to walk back into the mist and towards the base.

When Gaara walks back in he notices Nayumei is gone and questions Shotetsu. He explains the situation and looks down at the ground, then out the window seeing no sign of her.

"I came here to stop you from giving someone some files I heard about. All I know is someone from the Akatsuki is after you."

Shotetsu drops his glass again as he stares at Gaara dumfounded, not sure what to tell him. He finally gets back his composure and simply says he's already given it out. Gaara doesn't even suspect Nayumei to have been the person he was looking for. Right now all he thinks of her is the stubborn girl who he helped when she was severely injured.

**~.::.::.::.::.::.~ Later that night~.::.::.::.::.::.~**

I finally make it back and enter through the secret doorway limping right away towards Pain's office. I knew if he saw me like this he would bombard me with questions so I slide it under the door and limp all the way towards my room. Feeling dizzy and weak I fall forward into someone's arms. Panting heavily I weakly raise my head and see Deidara looking down at me with worried eyes. I rest my head on his shoulder as my legs give out. He picks me up bridal style and carries me towards the infirmary asking what happened. Instead of the fighting…and the injuries and Shotetsu the only thing that comes to mind is Gaara and his mesmerizing face. And I suddenly regret not telling him thank you in person. Not being able to use him to help me remember who I once was.

"Deidara…" I say softly into his shoulder.

"Hm? Just don't talk yeah? You have a fever," He says. I start to close my eyes when I hear Konan's voice.

**…...**

A few minutes later I awake feeling better. Deidara is sleeping in a chair on the other side of the room. I look around and hear muffling outside then Pain and Konan enter the room.

"Nayumei…Great job," Pain says. I slowly sit up gasping at the pain as Deidara awakes looking at the two.

"Yeah," I reply. He starts to say something, but is interrupted by Konan who suggests they leave me to rest. He then just adds that I got back faster than he expected. They finally leave the room, leaving me and Dei alone. I stare at the door for what seems like a really long time.

"Hey, un" Dei says placing his hand on my shoulder. I look up at him as he stares at my face and slowly pushes the bangs from my face.

"Damn it…" I think to myself. I don't know why, but I can't get him out of my head. Dei starts to talk about how his mission went with Sasori, but all I can think about is Gaara and how I felt like we somehow got a connection. Like he was also hiding something…and it wasn't the fact that he was a monster. It was like he felt alone also. And it was true…even though I had Deidara and the people here, though they all get on my nerves, deep down I still felt alone and I didn't know why. Like there was something missing. And for a long time I tried to fill that void with killing people. Up until I felt that strange feeling with Shotetsu and decided to let him live. Like even if he had attacked me I think I wouldn't have been able to bring myself to kill him.

"That's great Dei," I whisper softly with little emotion in my voice. I hadn't heard a single thing he had said.


	17. Chapter 17 Drama, Drama, Drama

That night was rather difficult to sleep for Nayumei. It was irritating, but the past events were constantly reappearing in her head. She was unable to get over it. She just knew Gaara had something to do with her past, and would possibly know who put this jutsu on her to suppress her memories. Besides that were her injuries. Deidara tried to have his task with Sasori postponed so they could leave in the morning. Still not telling her what their job was anyways, but she would soon find out. She kept the Jinchuuriki encounter to herself and knew Pain would ask questions soon.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Hidan spat. I slowly put my cup of coffee on the table, trying to ignore his comment and only tracing the top ring of the cup with my finger.

**_"Because if it was him…He wouldn't just leave someone in need to die."_**

I shake my head trying to get rid of Gaara's words, let out an angry scream as I throw the cup across the room towards the wall, shattering it.

"Please get out of my head!" I gasp placing my hands over my head and placing my head on the table.

"What the fuck!" Hidan snaps throwing his hands in the air. I had completely forgotten Hidan was still in the room. I shoot up shoving my chair out of the way and glaring intensely at him.

"Just go Hidan! Get the hell away from me already! "I shout walking towards the doorway of the kitchen leading to the hallway. To my surprise he appears in front of me, his face only inches away as he slams his fist into the wall causing giant cracks.

"Watch who you're talking to! I'm sure Jashin could use a sacrifice right about now…" He says malevolently. Just then a fist meets his face making him fly sideways knocking over the table. I look over slowly to find Deidara standing there, angrier than ever.

"Don't even think about it, you stupid bastard. I could use a test subject to test some of my art jutsus un," Deidara adds with a smirk. I sigh and start to walk away from the dramatic scene, but Hidan throws a chair at the doorway.

"You think I'm scared of you blondie?" Hidan says and starts to laugh hysterically.

"Let's go Dei…" I beg, grabbing ahold of his hand and trying to make him leave before they do something stupid and mess up the place.

"Let me handle this un!" He snaps and shoves my hand away. I look at him with slight pain in my eyes, but he doesn't even look twice before he starts to talk back to Hidan. I grab ahold of my stomach and slowly walk out while they're both distracted.

If Hidan has just minded his own business I wouldn't have snapped at him. But he's always there pestering and adding to my stress. And stressed I was. I know we have to get every single tailed beast in order for the plan to work…but now I don't know, I just don't know.

**~::.::.::.::.::~ A few minutes later ~::.::.::.::.::~**

"I wish I never met you," I sigh and lean against the wall with my eyes closed. When I notice someone's feet just a few inches away, my stomach drops. I look to see Deidara looking down at me like if he thought those words I just spoke were for him.

"Dei...I…" I stutter as he continues to walk past me and towards his room. Times like this I know it's best to leave him be, but I don't need this extra stress. I go after him and grab ahold of his wrist.

"Hey..!" He hisses.

"Are you mad?" I ask shyly. He gives me an honest confused look.

"Un?" He says. I sigh and pull him into a hug. For a second he just stands there, but finally hugs me back. I rest my head against his shoulder…being that I am a bit shorter than him, and try to relax myself. I'd say that was rather quick so he must have said something that really ticked of Hidan and made him leave, or someone else had butted in. None the less he was here now…and I needed to remember my purpose. I pull away from the hug and look up at his face slightly smiling. Apart of me wanted to kiss him just like the other day, but there was something different this time. He puts his hand under my chin and starts to move his head forward, so our lips could meet. But just then his face turns into Gaara. I panic and shove him away nearly screaming. He raises his eyebrows and my face starts to burn.

"Sorry…" I mumble. He smirks and pulls me into another hug only this time squeezing tight until I start gasping for air. He breaks apart when he sees Pain walking towards us.

"I need to talk you to Deidara…right now."

He avoids eye contact with me as he stares at Deidara. They walk off leaving me there standing alone in the hallway. I can't help but wonder when exactly they are going to go after the one tailed beast from the sand. Well there's nothing I could do either way.

**~::.::.::.::.::~ A few minutes later ~::.::.::.::.::~**

I start to walk into my room and see my sketch book lying on my bed. I pick it up and start to flip through the pages. I suddenly freeze when I come across a picture of a little boy resembling Gaara. I drop the book and hurry out the door, not sure what to do.

**"_Damn it Nayumei…you are a killer. You shouldn't be feeling this sudden worry…this sympathy. Just stop it!" _**

I had heard about a room filled with files of information about shinobi from almost every village. But it was room that no one was aloud in except Pain himself. That was like the sacred spot of this place.

"If I could just get my hands on his file…and… " I suddenly stop running when I realize what I'm doing and punch my fist into the wall causing cracks to fan out. "Damn it."

"Nay-chan? What's wrong?" Tobi's voice calls. I look over my shoulder and see him standing there looking at me. I sigh and turn around putting my hand on his shoulder. It seems like forever since I last saw him. I mean sometimes he gets on my last nerves and then there are other times when he feels like a little brother I sometimes which I had. I don't know where my family is or if I even have a family. There's just so much on my plate right now I don't have the time to pester Konan about the researching idea they were planning. Where they were to find a jutsu or if necessary, create one to get rid of this memory blocking jutsu.

"Nothing Tobi…Weren't you on a mission with Zetsu?" I add trying to change the subject.

"He told me to come back…" Tobi says. I nod, glad to find something to take my mind off of things. Tobi makes a fist which surprises me, making me think I offended him somehow. Suddenly I feel someone's hands rest themselves on my shoulders as I stand up straight.

"Get lost un!" Deidara shouts. Tobi attempts to stick his middle finger, but hesitates and stomps off. I spin around slightly glaring at him.

"I thought you had to go on a mission with Sasori?"

"It's been postponed for a few days…" He replies. I study his face as he looks to the side while he talks. "Anyways…Pain wants to see you."

Right when those words are said my stomach drops. Could he have found out about the Gaara situation? No…I bet he found out I let Shotetsu live. But how could he have found something like that out? I had been clear when I told him to no longer contact the Akatsuki. I guess a threat would have made it more legit. I clench my fist feeling rage boil inside me as I picture Shotetsu tattle telling like a child. I brush by Dei's shoulders and head there with my head held up high. I enter his office without even knocking on the door and look at him noticing his awkward expression.

"So tell me about the mission," He says in a monotone voice.

**"_Shit."_**

"Um…well I… got the files like you asked, and yeah…that's about it," I add attempting a smile. He could tell I was lying because he lifts his head and slightly glares at me.

"Did you kill him?"

This was it. If I tried to lie out of this and he found out I would surely lose any chance of becoming a member. But then again he might already know and wants me to be honest. But isn't this organization just a bunch of criminals? So lying is like a reflex, right? I sigh heavily thinking different thoughts. Pain stops shuffling his papers and stares at me waiting for my answer. I suddenly feel like I'm trapped in a tiny box and I can't seem to find a hole. I start to feel sweat drops form on the back of my head I let out another sigh and look to the side nervously. Its times like this that I wish someone would barge in and make him totally forget what was being discussed. But unfortunately no one else was around at the moment.

**"_Just be honest." _**

**"_No Lie like a dog!"_**

"I killed him good," I blurt out. Pain slams his hands on the table and puts on the nastiest glare I'd ever laid eyes on. I start to shake feeling like a huge idiot.

"I know you didn't because Shotetsu has warned the Jinchuuriki. Now we have to postpone and move on to another one. Those files contained special information on all sorts of tactics and a list of jutsus along with shinobi from that village and about the Jinchuurikis itself. Get it? It's not a game. You can't just fall for someone's act like that. That basterd was lying through his teeth. I can't believe…I just can't believe you fell for that," He says. Started out with shouting then he quieted down but in his angriest tone of voice.

"I'm sorry…" I mumble

"Doesn't matter…it's already been dealt with. "

I was too afraid to ask him what he meant by that. But I'm guessing he sent off someone to kill him and his wife. It doesn't matter now because if what Pain just said was true then I surely am an idiot for falling for something like this. I failed my solo mission. I failed Pain. I failed the Akatsuki. And I failed myself.

"How do you expect to be a member if you're going to hesitate to kill someone? We…we don't have room for someone like you in this organization. I think its best that you leave…immediately," Pain snaps.

"Alright."

I slowly get up. Feeling Like I've been kicked around. Thrown from wall to wall. Like someone has ran me over with a giant boulder. My face is burning from embarrassment. How could I have been so stupid? Of course I deserve my punishment, but I never imagined I'd ever be kicked out. I have nowhere else to go. I have no backup plan with my life. Surely I couldn't go back to the grass village. And If I roamed around all alone I would eventually run into some kind of trouble and wouldn't be able to defend myself. Then again I could go to the sand village. But what would I do when the Akatsuki would come for him? I would become a traitor…and Deidara…

"Hey Nay un, How'd it go?" Dei says walking towards me. I've been looking at the ground the whole time. Feeling so ashamed. How do I tell Deidara I've just been kicked to the curve?

"I…I…" I stutter. "Not so good." Dei puts his hand on my shoulder asking what's gotten into me lately.

"I've been kicked out Dei. I have to leave."

I start to walk off not wanting to see his expression and try and keep on a straight face. But his hand grabs a hold of mine. His grip so tight as he makes me turn back around towards him.

"What why? You can't just walk off like that without explaining to me what the hell is going on," He huffs.

"It's fine I don't mind it at all…" I say trying to sound confident. Truth was I was feeling like breaking down. I was feeling absolutely lost. Dei pressed his lips onto mine forcing me into a kiss. I push him away gently looking down at the ground. There was something weird and different about that kiss.

"Let's go…" He says sounding violent. He shoves the door open and starts to reason with Pain while still maintaining his cool. After going back in forth with soft voices then shouting, Konan comes in to see what the ruckus is about. When she hears about his decision she looks at me before turning to Pain and whispering something. Pain sighs and looks up making eye contact with me.

"I'll give you one more chance. But there's a catch."

"Yes?" I ask trying not to sound too desperate, but I was so completely desperate, about ready to go on the floor and beg on my knees.

"Help Deidara capture the sand Jinchuuriki."


	18. Chapter 18 Feelings

"The sand Jinchuuriki…" She repeats the words in a horrified voice, but only for her alone to hear.

Pain's words seemed to ring for a while in Nayumei's head. She never even thought of that to be a solution. And she just didn't know how to turn it down or if she should even turn it down. After all the crap she had to endure. All the training she did with Kisame… all the missions and stupid tasks and having to put up with Tobi. Getting over her fear of Zetsu. All of that would go to waste and down the drain in just a matter of minutes. All because she was still poor when it came to judging certain people. The main reason she gave into her sympathy was because of Shotetsu's wife. Such a kind lady that helped her so much. She couldn't even remember the last time a stranger was so worried for her. The only thing that came to mind was on a mission with her old team from the grass village. Maybe it's because they had something Nayumei has always wondered what it would be like. They had love and though Nayumei and Deidara had a thing she didn't feel anything like the way she saw between them. It was because of that feeling…that aura she couldn't see the point of killing him when he looked so innocent. But it was all just a fraud.

"I can't…" she wanted to say, but this was her only option to stay in the Akatsuki. Deidara nudged her slightly as if to say to hurry and up and say yes. Besides even though she felt like she owed Gaara for helping her, this was so out of her character. Having killed many before this shouldn't be a problem in the first place. Besides this time would come sooner or later. And she just recently met him so why was she feeling this way? She wanted to beat the crap out of someone. Just smash her fist into something and tear something apart. So much anger build up she wanted to let it out somehow.

"Deidara…" I whisper quietly. He turns to me waiting for my response to what Pain said.

"Besides Nayumei if you return to the village hidden in the sand your memories could flow back or maybe somehow break the jutsu placed on you," Pain continues. "Since you seem connected to that place."

"My memories…?" I mumble to myself. But then an image of Gaara comes back to mind and I nearly fall over. I wanted to remember where I came from so bad. If I had a family that was still lingering there. Would they be able to recognize me? If so what would I do next? Just simply leave the Akatsuki….after everything I've went through with them.

"Pain… she's still not in shape to go off like this…" Konan adds, I wait nervously with sweat drops starting to form.

"HIDAN HURT TOBI-KUN!" Tobi shouts barging into the room with blood dripping down his arm. His sleeve shredded showing some skin that was also shredded. A few seconds later Hidan walks in with his weapon and the angriest look on his face.

"Hasn't this happened before?" I think to myself.

"I thought you were gone Hidan!" Pain hisses. "We'll discuss this later Nayumei."

Konan gives us a signal it's best to leave at this moment. While Hidan stars to charge at Tobi. Pain stands up with a pissed look on his face. Deidara begins to laugh at the sight of Tobi cowering and Hidan persisting to fight. I didn't exactly catch what it was that Tobi did again because I grabbed Deidara's hand and forced him out of the room. When the door closes leaving behind shouting and the big mess inside, I let out the biggest sigh of relieve. Just when I needed it the most someone always comes and ruins it at the right moment. If it wasn't for Tobi I wouldn't have been able to escape what was going on. Though this pause is only temporarily, for Pain would bring this subject up again for sure. There was just no avoiding it. The reason was sort of legit, but at the same time such a lame way to get kicked out. Would I really sacrifice all I've worked for to become a part of Akatsuki, just for a stupid Jinchuuriki I barely know?

"Nay…" Deidara begins noticing my troubled face. Still not looking up I continue to look down at the ground trying to calm myself by taking slow deep breaths.

"Yeah?" I finally reply. He puts his hands on my shoulder in a rough manner looking down at the ground. I feel a sudden rush start from the pit of my stomach going all the way to my burning face as I wait for what exactly he is going to do next.

"Cheer up ok, un?" He says softly. Sounding sincere and sensitive for the first time in a long time. Usually this would be the time where I'd hold him, but I suddenly just want to be left alone. I slightly smile and tell him my decision that I'd like solitude right now, which seems to confuse him. I don't want to be around anyone right now. I need time away from everyone and that includes him.

I walk outside for some fresh air only to find that it's raining. I cover my face with my hands and I listen to the raindrops hitting the floor and lean myself against a tree looking up at the grey clouds. Such a peaceful moment this is that I only wish I could sit like this forever. I wonder how my life would have turned out if I had never joined the Akatsuki. What would I be doing now? What if I never betrayed the grass village? I would be stranded in that boring place living the sad and short life of a regular shinobi instead of being able to travel around. So many experiences would have never happened, but some things would have been better avoided. I take in many deep breathes and slowly close my eyes to rest until I feel myself drift to sleep.

**~::.::.::.::.::~ A few hours later ~::.::.::.::.::~ **

"Help! Please stop!" voices begin to shout in pure terror. Blood splatters all over the place and figures of people begin to turn black and disappear into a red back ground. I stand there shaking as my boomerang cuts through mobs of people. Little kids running away, but not fast enough. Knives being thrown from place to place as I stand there right in the middle of it all. Then out of the mobs of black smudges one pair of eyes seem to suddenly pop open. Revealing such an intense yellow mischievous color. The figure comes at me with great speed and suddenly I feel slimy skin wrapping itself around me, skin like a snake. I hear a snake hissing and I try to run away, but can't move. I cry out for help, but the figure puts his hand on my mouth. His long black hair sways to the side and then he sinks his fangs into my neck. Suddenly I feel my skin start to burn and as I stumble back I fall into a pit of snakes that are about to sink their fangs all over me, when suddenly a light appears.

I sit up quickly looking around panting heavily realizing I had fallen asleep. I grab my neck which tingles with a burning sensation as I lean forward into my knees sighing. I slowly stand back on my feet and stab a kunai knife sinking it deep into a tree trunk, letting out my anger of my constant fearful nightmares. I calmly go back inside.

**…...**

The sweet silence of my room lets me calm myself as I try and clear my thoughts tracing the outline of my pillow. Right now I don't need to worry about anything… Even if it's just for a moment. I take a deep breath and squish my face into my pillow trying to think of happy thoughts. Only problem is there aren't very many.

I suddenly felt like I was changing. I use to be so vicious when it came to fighting back when Kisame would help me train and take me out for testing. And on my missions with Zetsu how I wouldn't even flinch and sometimes not even look at my opponents just simply attacking without a care and without guilt. My conscious didn't bother me as much as I thought. But now it was nagging at me about every few minutes. Angrily I throw my pillow towards the door and kick my drawings on the floor scattering them all over the place. I place my hands on my eyes sighing heavily. When I look back down the picture I drew before of the small red haired boy resembling Gaara lays by my feet. I slowly pick it up and stare at it until I hear a knock at the door causing me to flinch. I place it under my pillow and walk towards it opening it slightly to find Deidara standing there.

"Deidara…?" I ask softly opening it more wide.

"Pain said to prepare for our departure…" He says blankly. Without another word he starts to walk down the hallway and disappears. I close the door slowly and sink down to sit in front of the door. I place my head between my knees feeling myself starting to breathe more heavily.

"I've done this before…I can do it again…I'll just let them do the work and I just won't watch. Simple as that…" I say softly staring into my plain dark room. I reach by my bed and grab my backpack and slowly turn off my lamp before exiting.

**…...**

"How stupid…Two people is perfectly capable to capture the Shukaku… there's no need for you here," Sasori says coldly as Deidara and I approach him.

"I know…." I add nervously looking to the side.

"Now now…let's save all that fury for the fight up ahead…and besides she's my pet, un. Watch what you say." Deidara puts his arm around me. I slightly shove him glaring at him. Sasori turns away from us and suggests we get going since it'll be a long tiring journey. I place my bamboo hat on my head and look at the lowering sun; taking a deep breath I try to clear my thoughts. As we start to walk off. Deidara adjusts something in his pouch most likely some clay he's bringing along, though it doesn't look like much.

**~::.::.::.::.::~ A few days later ~::.::.::.::.::~**

I'm not exactly sure how long it's been, but it definitely seems like months, though Dei says it's nowhere near that amount of time. Sasori's bells are all I've been constantly hearing. Before I would be able to tune out the sound for those bells, but right now with so much on my mind it's really irritating me. Makes me glad I cut mine off. Regardless the whole time I've been silent, and Deidara has seemed to have shifted to his more serious mischievous side. Being arrogant and excited for what's to come. I also have come to the conclusion it's best to put these weird feelings and thoughts aside and do what I can to get this all over with. The Akatsuki will soon be in control and all the tailed beasts will be captured. Besides there's nothing I could do about it anyway, nor anything I should even have to do. It's like my dreams have been telling me that I'm such a horrible person and there's no way I could change my path now. Not after all those times I've soaked my hands in blood.

The wind is especially strong here as we walk over hills of sand. Only seeing sand for what seems like thousands of miles. So the sand village is really just a small area hidden right in the middle of a giant sand desert. I tilt my hat to cover my eyes to avoid the sand from entering. Deidara wears an evil grin as we start to get closer and closer.

"So the one placed here is the first it seems. The one that went to Orochimaru will have to wait," Deidara says. When he speaks the name he looks back at me slightly before returning his gaze to the fields of sand.

"Orochimaru?" I think to myself.

"Apparently his trainer has been speaking about our movements," Deidara adds.

"It can't be helped I suppose…But even I don't know what will happen once the jutsu is cast. Are you sure what you got in that pouch will be enough?" Sasori adds. "Our enemy possesses the host after all."

"Every one of my jutsu is a work of art, but just to be sure I brought along my master piece we can't take any chances when our opponent is the one tailed beast," Deidara says with a quiet laugh while placing his hand mouth into his pouch.

"Just what are you planning Deidara." I stare at the back of his head and then down at his hand feeling out of the loop again. I tighten my fist until my palms bleed. For once again I'm just an underdog. It's time I quit playing around and show them who they're dealing with.


	19. Chapter 19 Invading the Sand Village

**Very very sorry for the late update! I've been finishing up another story so I could have more time for this one and been watching some episodes to refresh my memory ^_^ anyways here it is...**

* * *

Finally the sand seems to clear up a bit as we get closer to some giant walls. Deidara and Sasori look up, making me on my guard as I notice a ninja waiting for us. He stands in the middle blocking our way, with blood on his vest and several other ninja lying behind him.

"Good work Yura," Sasori says blankly. My eyes widen as I stare at the man Sasori is talking to not quite understand what's going on anymore. "You remember me I presume."

"How could I forget, lord Sasori," He kneels down bowing his head before him as the wind seems to pick up again causing our cloaks to sway to the side.

"Of course he remembers, it wouldn't be much of a jutsu if he didn't un," Deidara adds before looking back at my puzzled face with a grin.

"They're still loyal servants after regaining their memory," Sasori comments. The guy they called Yura extends his hand out inviting us to follow after him. Deidara turns around to pet my head, in a way mocking me for being so clueless, before turning back around to follow Sasori and Yura. We walk past several bodies that now lay still all along the walls. My heart begins to pound faster against my chest as we get even closer to the sand village. Buildings start to emerge in the clearing and soon we appear from two giant walls that were the entry way. I look around slowly at all the buildings and houses, but nothing seems to come to mind. All the frustration about my memories will probably not be resolved by coming here. Maybe I don't even have anything to do with this village in the first place. Gloomier than ever I look at Deidara who's turned around with his malevolent expression.

"Remember anything yet un?" He says. I shake my head and he faces forward again looking down at his hand as a clump of clay spits out of his hand's mouth. He allows it to chew before turning it into a bird. He throws it on the ground and then does hang signs before it becomes bigger. He looks back at us asking what we think and Sasori tells him to hurry it up. "You guys just wait here; I'll attack from above." Deidara jumps onto its back before taking off into the sky.

I stare after him as he soars over the village. From this point of view, the village looks even bigger than what I first thought. I'd figure it was much smaller, but this is totally unexpected. I cross my arms and wait for what's to happen next. The sun has already started to go down and the sky turns a brownish orange color. The wind's current seems to be picking up a bit as well.

"Why is he taking so long?" I ask. Sasori keeps his blank expression. Deidara continues to soar over the village as the sun continues to go down. Was he waiting for night fall? When the villagers would not even see what was going on? That was my guess. The waiting was sickening. I had no idea someone could feel this sick, this anxious, over something like this. It's not like I was the one that would have to injure Gaara. And I still didn't understand why I was feeling this way. It was just an unnecessary burden.

**~::.::.::.::.::~ Later that night ~::.::.::.::.::~**

"Sleeping on the job?" Sasori calls. I jump up from the rock I was sitting on and blush slightly from embarrassment. He left to go do something and left me to keep watch, but Deidara was taking so long that I got bored and fell asleep. Though it wasn't for very long. Besides that Deidara had finally begun. He threw down some spiders which landed on some shinobi on watch and resulted in some explosions. I had guessed that's what he's been doing this whole time. The sun has gone completely down and the night has fallen. I look around and notice Deidara is no longer in the sky, which sends a shiver down my spine.

"Where's Deidara?" I snap. Sasori stays silent thinking about something. I notice the bird he was riding on come out of nowhere and it continues to hover in the sky, but still no Deidara." Could he already be…?" I think to myself picturing Gaara and him talking. I sit back down with my hands on my head. It was a waste of time for me to come here. My memories just weren't even flickering. It seemed that I was just never going to remember unless I found the man responsible for placing this jutsu on me.

The bird makes a circle around a building and rises back up into the sky this time with Deidara on it. But something else comes right behind him and follows him into the sky.

"Sand… so… they've encountered already."

I watch as Deidara on his clay bird circles around the village with speed and the sand coming at him close behind. Before I know it, there are multiple whips of sand coming at him as he flies up and down to slow them down.

"I can't see very well…!" I snap.

When I turn back around I see another figure in the air facing Deidara. I drop my pouch as I squint my eyes and see Gaara standing on sand talking with Dei.

"That blasted Deidara had to make a circus out of it. Yura you should return to the village. It could complicate things if they were to find you here," Sasori speaks softly towards Yura. He nods and bows slightly before disappearing just like that. I take off my bamboo hat and take a seat on the edge while Sasori complains about not liking to be kept waiting. It was strange how Deidara seemed to be taking his time with this. Usually he'd do it quickly, but it seemed like he wanted the others in the village to come and watch almost like putting on a show. Could it be he was trying to, in a way humiliate Gaara? What if he wasn't even successful in capturing him? Then Sasori and possibly I would have to step in. I'm just not sure how much more of this I can take.

"I heard this Jinchuuriki was made Kazekage… is that right?" I turn towards Sasori breaking the silence.

"Yes that's correct."

"Then why is he jumping in to fight like this? Didn't they now we'd come for him… I mean the Akatsuki… shouldn't they be trying to hide him or something…" I think to myself and clench on the side of my cloak. Gaara raises his arms and a load of sand rises from the ground creating what looks like a wave behind him. The sand takes form of a giant hand and starts coming after Deidara who starts to throw explosives towards his direction. No matter how much I want to I can't seem to take my eyes off the scene. I notice little figures appear on roof tops and realize that this village's army is probably preparing for an attack of some sort. Sasori seems to be getting frustrated and irritated by the minute. Deidara continues throwing explosives and manages to break the hand in half, though seconds later is brought back together with sand. Deidara throws two clay birds that fly towards Gaara. His sand hand tries to grab them, but they fly past and right towards him standing on a sand platform. More sand surrounds him creating what looks like a ball and then Dei's explosives set off creating an explosion in the sky.

"Did he get him?" I gasp with my eyes wide open from shock. It seems to go dead silent as the smoke starts to clear; it reveals what looks like a hardened ball of sand. A giant eye ball hovers over the ball which incases Gaara. Suddenly the sand hand comes behind Deidara and starts to wrap around him.

"Deidara!" I shout making his head shoot up. He starts to fly off, but it surrounds him anyways and before I know it there are two giant sand balls in the sky, one with Deidara trapped inside. I hold onto my other hand and bring it up under my chin, feeling sweat drops form. Suddenly and explosion occurs and Deidara jumps out and starts to fall towards the ground. Another whip of sand comes up at him and grabs him by the leg swinging him back towards the ball. He throws another lump of clay which forms into a bird again and he flies off. It goes back to the cat and mouse game, with Gaara's sand chasing after him as Dei flies back and forth, zig zag to get away from it. Finally some sand reaches to him and crushes his arm making blood sprinkle down to the village. Deidara flies off a different direction and gets away from the sand, but reveals his arm is missing.

"Damn fool…how long do you expect us to wait down here Deidara…" Sasori says under his breath.

"I think he's almost out of clay…" I add watching Deidara closely. I grab ahold of my head after I hear some villagers cheer Gaara on.

**…...**

"_Stay away from that boy, child!"_ A woman' voice calls. I suddenly feel a hard grip on my arm pulling me onto my feet. The woman's nails seem to dig into my skin causing a pain that is indescribable. _"He is a monster!"_

A wave of sand reaches towards her making her stumble back in fear.

_"Leave her alone!"_ A little boy's voice shouted and then another person intervened and made him stop. The man called him, Gaara.

**…...**

"Nayumei…" Sasori calls as I fall to my side holding onto my head for dear life. This pain was also indescribable. I'd suddenly picture something or simply hear voices that didn't belong to me and this horrible headache which felt like my head was literally splitting in two would come on.

"I have to stop this… this feeling needs to stop…" I think to myself as I fidget on the ground until the headache finally passes. I lie on my back and stare at the sky as Deidra continues to avoid Gaara's sand.

"Looks like the others are finally making there move…" Sasori adds.

Deidara throws another lump of clay into the space between him and Gaara and it becomes some sort of weird bird like thing. Bigger than his other things and it starts to fall towards the ground. Gaara watches as it lands on something, followed by a bright beam of light and an explosion. The smoke clears again and reveals a giant shield Gaara has created to protect the village from the explosion. Gaara must have used a lot of chakra as he leaves a window open for Deidara to send another explosive clay towards him in his shield ball. Another explosion occurs with what seems like it got inside. When the smoke clears again his ball remains intact in the sky.

"Should we step in now? Looks like the villagers are about to attack…" I add turning towards Sasori. He's remained quiet for a while now. Deidara would surely have to hear his complains later.

"No… this should be over soon," He adds in an irritated tone.

Our attention is brought back to Deidara yelling in excitement. The sand shield Gaara has created around him seems to explode from the inside. The sphere slowly starts to break revealing Gaara who looks unconscious. The villagers finally make their move and a bunch of arrows fly towards Deidara. I stand up ready to jump in, but see Deidara dodge the arrows with ease. Gaara uses the last of his strength to get his sand away from the village to avoid crushing them, he finally goes out of it and falls unconscious. He starts to fall to the ground and Deidara with his clay owl flies towards him and catches him, with the owl wrapping its tail around him.

**~::.::.::.::.::~ A few minutes later ~::.::.::.::.::~**

Deidara finally arrives on his bird with Gaara. I stare at the still body while Deidara sarcastically apologizes to Sasori for making him wait so long. He knew he hated to wait and it seemed like he was taking forever on purpose. Sasori attempts to hit him with his puppet's tail which remains hidden under his cloak, Deidara simply smirks apologizing again.

"This one was rather strong you know, un," Deidara adds before looking over at me.

"Yes…. Next time you should listen to me!" Sasori snaps.

"Why does it look like his face is cracking?" I think to myself tuning out their conversation and observing Gaara's face still. I was tempted to reach out and touch it, but fought back the urge.

"Everything ready here?" Deidara adds.

"Well of course it is," Sasori adds.

Deidara jumps off the bird and we begin walking off with the bird hovering over us with Gaara. I try to avoid staring at it, but can't help myself. Deidara puts his hat back on and takes mine from my hands and places it on my head.

"Wasn't so bad huh?" He says softly with a grin. This whole situation seemed too easy. The Jinchuuriki I fought in the past took at least a full day to take down and it seemed like Deidara took Gaara down so easily. I picture back to the incident where he showed up to save me and look over at his still body that dangles above our heads. Sounds of rock falling come from behind us. I turn around to see a giant puff of smoke coming from the entry way.

"My man Sasori… Looks like they fell for your trap un," Deidara smirks.

We continue to walk until the sun starts to rise again. I stay behind them while they walk in front. I decided to be the one to keep an eye on him. Though I noticed Gaara's face was leaving behind a small trail of sand I didn't say anything to them. It was a decision I made on impulse, but it's not like I'd expect someone to follow it since Sasori's traps. Suddenly Sasori stops walking surprising Dei and I.

"We're being followed…" He says softly.

"Hold it right there! Hand over Gaara now," A boy says from behind. I turn around slowly and recognize him from the time Itachi and I were spying. Deidara smirks, amused by his words and Sasori already irritated puts on an angrier face.

"You go on ahead," Sasori says calmly before jumping in front of the boy. The boy takes out three scrolls and lays them down on the ground summoning puppets. Sasori calls it the puppet master jutsu. Deidara smirks again and grabs me by the waist pulling me towards him as he jumps up and onto the birds back. I take a seat and he remains standing.

"We're going on ahead! Enjoy the show un!" He announces and the bird flies higher. The boy sends a puppet our way, but Sasori stops it with his puppet's tail. Time remains still as I stare at Sasori and notice the boy's shocked expression.

"I remember now, this Jinchuuriki is supposed to have two siblings, one of them being a puppet master. What was your name again Kenpachi?" Deidara laughs out loud while the boy shouts correcting his name to be Kankuro.

"Siblings?" I think to myself. Kankuro attempts to attack us with the puppet again, but Sasori blocks it. He tells us to get out of here now while he finishes this quickly. I make eye contact with the boy, Kankuro as he shouts that he won't let Gaara get away. Before I know it they appear smaller and smaller as we fly farther and farther away. Deidara places his hand on my forehead surprising me.

"You have a fever, hm?" He adds before looking forward again and removing his hand. His ripped sleeve with no arm sways back and forth and I look back at Gaara's still body as the wind ruffles the strings from my bamboo hat.

"Gaara…"


	20. Chapter 20 Running Out of Time

**Sorry for the late update. Fanfic was being weird and wouldn't let me edit this story so I was unable to add a chapter, weird huh? Anyways thanks for the reviews so far.**

* * *

"Deidara your arm…" I finally speak breaking the silence. He looked behind again to make eye contact with me, and locks it for what seems like a really long time. I look to the side uncomfortably, as his empty sleeve sways side to side. When I watched the fight it didn't even seem like it hurt him to lose an arm. If it were me I'd have died from shock. I guess that's just how different we are. I don't know why, but even though he's an asshole sometimes, there's a part of him that is comforting.

"Let's concentrate on getting this Jinchuuriki host back to the base, un?" He mumbles before turning back around. I turn my head to stare at Gaara's crumbled face and feel a sick feeling coming on again. Like I should lean my head over and prepare myself for the vomit that was coming up. I put my head down and listen to the sound of Deidara's cloak swaying side to side in the wind. The only noise besides the flapping of the bird's wings. It seems like half a day at least that we've been flying and finally Deidara lands somewhere. He jumps off the bird first and that's when I notice the wind has picked up along with the sand that comes with it. I cover my face to avoid sand in my eyes and see Deidara kneel down under a rock. I jump down next, after getting one more look of Gaara and seeing he's still unconscious. I take a seat next to Deidara as the sand storm takes over.

"Why is he taking so long…?" Deidara adds angrily. I shrug my shoulders and rest my head on my knees, closing my eyes.

**...….**

_**"Why are you really helping me? Why not just leave…and what are you doing here anyways?" **_

_**"Because if it was him…he wouldn't just leave someone in need to die."**_

**…..._.._**

I lift my head back up and stare at what's in front of me. I can't help, but wonder if Sasori killed that boy, Kankuro. I wasn't aware that Gaara had a family, let alone a brother. I only knew the simple things, yet I couldn't get him out of my head. Nor his words… the way he had said them. He was so determined, yet calm, it was almost inspiring. And just who was he talking about when he said that. It sounded like someone he looked up to, like a role model. Was he trying to follow someone else's' footsteps? But why? Part of me wanted to ask him all sorts of questions, but I knew that that was impossible now. Could it be that maybe I was unable to stop thinking about it because it also inspired me in a way? It's not like I hadn't thought about it before. Changing my path. But I was in too deep now; there was no way to climb out of the hole I had fallen into. Besides there were times that I really enjoyed this lifestyle I chose, like those times I hung out with Deidara and even Hidan's remarks were growing on me. Gaara's words continue to flow into my head and it continues to repeat. Was it a way for my conscious to tell me to take that as advice. Help someone in need... and don't just leave them?

"As soon as we reach the others… the abstraction of the tailed beast will begin and Gaara will die…" I think to myself and clench my fist. "Damn it all."

"Hey you're awfully quiet over there, un…" Deidara cuts in. I slowly lift my head and lock eyes with his. He's wearing that grin of his that you can't really tell what he's really thinking. The same look he gave me when we first met. Back when he saved me from my execution in the grass village. The way he just barged into my life like that and then afterwards with his annoying and flirtatious tactics. Then we became so close and before I knew it he changed. He was malicious, malevolent, but there were times were he could pass as a decent human being, besides the fact that he enjoyed taking people's lives. But who was I to judge, for I too had soiled hands. He was different then when I first met him, it made me wonder if it was all just an act the whole time to lure me into the Akatsuki.

"Yeah…" I finally reply to him, but turn away from his gaze. I used to enjoy his gaze on me, but now it just didn't feel the same.

**~::.::.::.::.::~A few minutes later~::.::.::.::.::~**

"Sasori my man… your late un," Deidara says annoyed, as Sasori emerges. "What gives? I thought you didn't like to keep people waiting."

"I don't, but time flies when you're having fun…" Sasori adds calmly.

"Does that mean you…killed him…?" I gasp.

"What the heck does that mean," Deidara snaps at him.

"Don't get so touchy, Deidara, you accomplished your mission, you secured the one tailed, all we have to do is bring him back," Sasori adds." Then I'll go for mine."

"Yeah, but we still don't know where he may be…" Deidara adds. "What kind of Jinchuuriki is he again?"

"Even if we can't find him no one's going to complain if I bring in another one…" Sasori's voice seems to quiet down as the black cloth covering his mouth reveals more than one mouth." Let's hurry up and get out of here." With that being said we begin to walk through the heavy wind with the bird hovering over us again. Gaara still remains unconscious and my mind continues to wander. That's right, Sasori was assigned the nine tailed beast. The last of the Jinchuuriki hosts.

After what seems like another half day the night has finally fallen. We've made it through the sandy wind and it has calmed down. The only sound now that fills the air is Sasori's bells again along with our footsteps. Deidara comments that it's nice to leave the sand behind. I look up and stare at Gaara's spiky red hair above us as Deidara and Sasori bicker among themselves about taking so long and whose fault it was that we took so long. Sasori is the one who took forever doing who knows what with Gaara's brother. None the less, as soon as we'd get back to the base I'd be done with this nightmare and would go off to another base since without a ring I wouldn't be able to participate in the extraction. I've watched how it's been done in the past and this one would be one I wouldn't want to watch. Besides Pain only said to help and even though I didn't help at all I should have no reason to be kicked out now. Everything would return back to normal once Gaara's tailed beast would join the others.

My consciousness would eventually forget all about it. After all he was our target. On top of that Pain and Konan will be disappointed that I didn't recover any new memories. So maybe I wasn't from the sand village? The only thing that would come and go were those voices and that throbbing headache. But nothing that would answer any of my questions. Then there was the fact that Deidara mentioned a man named Orochimaru and gave me a funny look, that name had been mentioned before as well, but didn't bring anything to mind. Though the name itself made me twitch a little. Maybe it was time to face the fact that I would never remember and to get used to it. Make new memories instead of remembering the old ones. I mean maybe there was a reason they were suppressed? There had to be a reason why. It's not something someone would do without reason. And whatever the reason was, it had to be legit and it had to make sense. Maybe it was a good thing; maybe they were helping me to erase something that happened.

**…...**

"Finally we're here," Deidara mumbles. I stare up ahead at the giant boulder blocking the entrance with a tag on top. We jump down onto the water, and seconds later the bird carrying Gaara floats down above us. Deidara in the lead starts to walk towards the entrance with Sasori close behind. I stay behind and stare at Gaara's still body, suddenly feeling like I need to lay down somewhere. Like that feeling you have after running for a long period of time and you need a moment to catch your breath. Deidara stops and checks on me noticing my face expression.

"Nay, let's get this over with shall we, un?" He mumbles. I nod slowly before proceeding and then he does a hand sign and the boulder slowly rises.

_**"Because if it was him…he wouldn't just leave someone in need to die."**_

I tighten my grip on my hat which has been removed and slowly we enter the cave-like base. We're greeted by a hologram who comments that we're late. Deidara makes a point that it was rather difficult to capture this Jinchuuriki. I think back to those damn words that continue to swirl through my mind, while Deidara's clay bird drops Gaara to the ground roughly and disappears. The hologram then does the hand sign needed for the king of hell statue to appear. Moments later the ground starts to shake and the statue emerges from the ground. Two giant hands with ten fingers, along with a giant head. I look over at Deidara whose eyes are fixated on the sight. More holograms appear on the fingers of the other members, leaving space for Deidara and Sasori. On impulse I grab Dei's hand in an attempt to stop him.

"Nay?" He says. His face reading confusion.

"I uh… nothing…" I mumble. He pats my head before jumping up onto his finger. Something that I can't participate is this. Only ten rings and ten fingers needed for this jutsu, though there is a space left. I've only been told that an ex member took it with him. Right now I don't want to complain.

"I'm running out of time…but I can't do anything now…. It's too late…. "I mumble.

"Alright shall we begin?" Pain's hologram asks. He then takes the last remaining space on the two hands, leaving only one empty one.

Something that was in the mouth of statue falls to the ground and then Pain announces it will take three days and nights to complete the extraction. Someone points out that since there is a missing ring it might take even longer. Pain orders Zetsu to have his physical body stand guard outside.

"Nayumei, you can stay here or you can go keep guard with Zetsu," Pain says. "Just don't get in the way."

"I'll stay here for a bit if that's alight…" I mumble. He looks away and raises his hands and his finger begins to glow a light green. One by one the fingers light up with symbols and then a blue light comes out of the mouth of the statue and towards Gaara. I suddenly feel frozen as well, like I've become a statue as well as the light lifts his body slowly off the ground. I've witnessed this before, but I've never experienced something like this.

"This feeling of guilt… it's driving me crazy…"

**~::.::.::.::.::~Nayumei's Imagination~::.::.::.::.::~**

"Stop it!" She shouts breaking their focus.

"Nayumei stop what are you doing!" Deidara shouts. Nayumei runs towards Gaara and is struck by the chakra sending her to fly into the statue.

"Looks like we have a traitor amongst us…." Kisame adds.

"Nayumei explain yourself!" Pain shouts. She takes out her boomerang and flings it towards them; it only cuts through the holograms and returns not making much of a difference.

"Get rid of her now she'll disrupt something," Pain adds angrily.

"Wait!" Deidara shouts, but before he could finish what he was going to say Sasori removes his tail from her the wound that was inflicted on her side. Her body laying limp and a pool of blood forming underneath her. Deidara remains speechless and Pain begins with a speech about waste of life and how useless she was anyways. Before he knows it he looks around noticing everyone focus on the task at hand, she, already forgotten.

**~::.::.::.::.::~Back to reality~::.::.::.::.::~**

My attention is taken back when I hear Gaara slightly moaning. He may be unconscious, but there are still sounds of pain coming out, not sure how it is. I notice red chakra flowing out of his mouth and towards the jaw of the statue and I contemplate on what I just imagined. I know that's exactly how it'll play out and there was absolutely nothing I could do.

"I need to sleep…" I speak softly. But I can't seem to pry myself from the scene. I just need to get away from this… It's making me sick and it's really aggravating.

"Where's Tobi…?" I think to myself and look around the big open space. The night has fallen and one of the eyes on the statue's head has begun to open. Only time can tell now what it is that I'm going to do.


	21. Chapter 21 It's too Late

**Sorry if it's late :P it was kinda rushed but here it is! Oh and I do like suggestions :) Thanks for the reviews! Lot's to come.**

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It's already been about two days. I took over Zetsu's post for a while then returned to keep an eye on the base. There was a point that Gaara's moaning got louder and I had to exit. Now I sit a few feet away while inside Deidara and the others finish up the extraction. At this rate we still have another day or so, I'll be too exhausted to feel this… this confusion. I kick some rocks into the river and look around slowly not sensing anyone's presence. Besides if there was anyone around Zetsu would find out first and let the others know. There's nothing I could do for Gaara… I just wish my conscious wasn't bothering me so much.

I suddenly feel a strange feeling. Unexplainable, but definitely nerve wrecking. I slowly get up and decide to enter the base again, though it stresses me out. I find it hard to believe that Zetsu or I haven't encountered anyone yet. You'd think someone would come after him right away since he was their Kazekage and it only being about two days. I also wonder if Sasori exterminated Gaara's brother. Once I enter I notice them chatting among themselves about something serious. I feel a cold shiver start from my toes all the way to the back of my neck as I hear Gaara's moaning again. I stare at his floating body, the same image I've been seeing for what seems like too long of a time. I try and pry my eyes off the sight and concentrate on what the others are talking about.

"One of them is might guy," Zetsu says. Kisame them puts out that he should be the one to go after him since they have an unsettled score. Someone suggests a special jutsu in which I have no idea what they're referring to.

"Why don't we sent the brat over there, Nayumei isn't doing anything special," Hidan spats.

"Shut up, un. She should stay here and help protect the base. Send someone else," Deidara adds. Kisame continues to pester Pain about it and he finally tells him he can since he has the most chakra available in order to perform the special jutsu.

"More intruders…" Zetsu cuts in.

"You didn't cover your tracks very well did you Deidara…" Pain says aggravated.

"Well… As I said the Jinchuuriki was more powerful than we thought un," Deidara adds desperately.

"You're a fool! You're methods aren't for any secret operation," Sasori snaps. Deidara snaps back at him continuing the bickering until Pain interrupts them, telling them to focus on the jutsu. He then questions who to send next and Hidan suggests himself and even Zetsu, but Pain makes up his mind for Itachi do use the same jutsu as Kisame. The room goes silent again and I stare up at Deidara who's looking down at me with a blank expression.

"Wait. I want to go too…." I add softly looking at the holograph figures. Pain especially whose focus is taken off again from the jutsu.

"Nay….?" Deidara says with a bit of confusion and worry in his voice.

"Very well then…" Pain adds. "Get going now." Deidara watches with frustration as Nayumei runs out of the hideout once again. She had no idea what enemies were up ahead and coming their way. Nor why she suddenly wanted to get into the action like this. What was she up to?

"It's about time she offers her help," Hidan adds. Nayumei's temper just about reaches its limit. She turns around with a glare and sends it towards Hidan who simply smirks.

"Focus on the jutsu now," Pain snaps.

Nayumei mumbles something under her breath and Hidan himself says a few curse words before closing his eyes again. Nayumei locks eyes with Deidara one last time before exiting.

**~::.::.::.::.::~A few minutes later~::.::.::.::.::~**

"What if one of them is the one that Gaara was talking about that one time he saved me… what if that person is the one attempting to come save Gaara…. Who could it have been?" I think to myself as I jump from tree branch to tree branch. I Stop and take a breath leaning against a tree and look up at the clouds for a moment. I realize I've never taken the time to just relax and live in the moment like this. Right now I don't want to do anything, I just want to stand here and watch the clouds go by. There's something about them that sends a calming sensation on my body, which is what I really need right now. Unfortunately my life doesn't work that way. My life is in the Akatsuki and that means fulfilling my duties. I should wait to see how the fighting goes with Itachi and Kisame. They probably won't need my assistance at all, but still it's better than staying in that cave.

"You'll only get in the way," Zetsu's voice calls from behind. I step away quickly from the tree trunk and turn around to face Zetsu. His presence still makes goose bumps form on my arms.

"Just be quiet and go keep watch. I'm sure more are coming and you should be aware of that Zetsu-kun," I snap angrily. But he was right. I always just get in the way; I drop the kunai knife from my hand, which I pulled out after Zetsu appeared. It falls down to the ground slowly, we just stay silent as it falls. "Can't you just let me be."

Zetsu smirks and disappears into the tree. The air is silent again except for the rustling of the leaves on the tree. I decide to just lay here since there's nothing I can do yet.

**…...**

"I'm here to look for someone," Gaara had replied. I just stared up at his face and looked around thinking we were lost.

"Look I think I can walk on my own," I had snapped. But he didn't listen to me and instead we kept walking through the thick mist.

"Wait here." Just like that he had left and I suddenly felt so defenseless. With my wounds I was barely able to move. But I sucked it up and struggled to stand, and began to limp away. Feeling a bit guilty for not thanking him properly, but Akatsuki members don't have manners. Instead of getting away I had run into him, losing my balance and going back into his embrace.

"I told you to wait…Now you've opened your wounds more."

"Why did he care?"

**~::.::.::.::.~ Meanwhile~::.::.::.::.::~**

The extraction continues with the red substance coming from Gaara's eyes and mouths lessening. It's been at least an hour or two since Nayumei left and same with Kisame and Itachi's battle starting. Though it only seemed like a few minutes. But time flies while you're busy on something. Gaara's life was fading. In just a bit he would fall to the ground lifeless and the Jinchuuriki would be sealed into the statue, with another Host extraction completed with a success.

"It took less time than expected… "Pain says breaking the silence. Deidara closes his eyes again just wanting to finish it up as quickly as possible. The others return their focus as well.

**...…**

"They should be done by now…." I whisper softly and slowly rise up from the spot on the tree. I look at the darkening sky quite surprised at how fast time went by. I start to head towards a random direction, somewhere I heard noise earlier. I'm sure the others would be irritated if they found out I was taking a nap, but I haven't slept in like three days with the Gaara situation. My body just gave out and I had to. Besides Zetsu said it was smarter to just wait here so I did. But now I'm curious to what jutsu they were referring to earlier. A special jutsu and possibly only Itachi and Kisame knew.

**…...**

"Zetsu go deal with the substitutes for Kisame and Itachi…" Pain orders.

"Yes sir." He replies.

"We're now entering the final stages so be prepared," Pain adds. He then asks Itachi of a mini summary of who the enemies were. Also adding that they have bought them enough time to finish up. By the time they arrive Deidara and Sasori will give them a warm welcome. All Deidara wants to do is fight, not even thinking of what Nayumei is currently doing.

**…...**

"So this is the jutsu huh?" I whisper softly looking down at an unfamiliar body in an Akatsuki cloak. He has brown hair and his eyes are open wide along with his mouth. Judging by the destruction around this area the opponents must be very strong indeed. And this one must have impersonated either Kisame or Itachi. But by the surroundings I'm guessing Kisame was this one. I feel a cold shiver and look up feeling a presence standing right behind me.

"You again. What jutsu is this?" I add bitterly.

"I don't know what to call it," Zetsu says in a monotone.

"I see…"

"So this one's Kisame's… it definitely needs to be disposed of. Then dispose of it," Zetsu says. Both sides of him talking amongst themselves.

"Go ahead…" I mumble and walk past him with a blank look in my eye and slightly bumping his shoulder. Whenever he does this I tend to get far away as possible for the sounds are just disgusting. Especially his method of disposing.

"Aren't you going to be heading back to the base now? The host is just about dead."

I stop in my tracks and look down at the ground as it goes quiet. I hear him smirk and I tighten my fist. Could he know what I'm thinking? How does he know about it? Has he been spying on me…? I fight back the urge to turn around and attempt to kill him and start to walk off again as I hear the sound he makes, engulf the air.

"Oh and Zetsu…" I add breaking the silence. "Which way did they go?"

He smirks again before saying they haven't traveled off far and if I keep going the direction I'm headed, I'll run into one of them.

"So I see," I reply.

"He's gone now…."I think to myself and look at the dark sky. " Only a few hours left and it'll all be over."

**~::.::.::.::.~ The next morning~::.::.::.::.::~**

I sensed people's presence indeed and followed my instinct. I made a clone to follow the other group and decided to watch this one myself. Though as soon as I got there they decided to head off again. So I followed keeping my distance, and it was working for they hadn't detected me yet. I lean against a tree and see them coming towards my direction, but too focused on their route ahead. I prepare my weapon until I over hear one of them say something that makes me feel a strange feeling.

"Hang on Gaara! We're coming!" Shouts a blonde boy with whiskers on his face. I let go of my necklace and stare after him with a shocked look.

"**Because if it was him… He wouldn't just leave someone in need die…"**

I allow myself to fall on my butt and stare at the group as they disappear out of my sight. I was about to attack them while they had their guard down. What kind of person am I? That boy… there's something about that boy. I must know his name… He sounded like he really cared for Gaara. Could he be the one that Gaara was talking about? He was trying to be like him. He didn't look like much. Just an average boy (except the whiskers). He sounded so confident yet sad. But by the time they'd make it… it'll be too late. But at least they were giving it a try. I know by the time they get there the others will be done and most likely kill them all. All this just for one person, Gaara.

"But it's too late…" I gasp and put my hands on my face. "That boy… I must know his name."

I quickly jump up and with full speed start to head towards the cave taking a shorter route. My heart begins to race and it sounds like it's going to fall out of my ear. That annoying thumping sound becomes the only thing I hear besides my feet hitting hard against the tree branches. Each branch I push myself even harder not paying attention to my surroundings.

"Gaara…"

"Gaara!" I shout suddenly feeling a sickening feeling from my chest.

I finally see the cave in the clearing and do the same sign as Deidara entering the cave. When I enter I only see three figures. Everything else has disappeared. I feel my stomach drop and I nearly vomit as I see Deidara sitting on Gaara's lifeless body. By the surroundings it's been confirmed it's definitely done. And the holograms have disappeared leaving these two to handle the ones on their way. But that blonde boy was just a kid… that looked like my age.

"I'm sorry I couldn't do anything… I couldn't save you… "I think to myself and hold back the urge to charge at Deidara. I try and regain my composure and walk slowly towards them.

"Nay you're late…. But I want you to get out of here ok, un?" Deidara says standing up and putting his hands on my shoulder looking a bit annoyed of my presence. Not even aware of the dead look on my face. Still panting from the rush over here. The only thing I can look at is him, Gaara. Deidara finally notices that my eyes are glued on the lifeless corpse and takes one of his hands off.

"Oh yeah… We finished, didn't take as long as we expected, pretty awesome I must say." Deidara says. "They'll be here any minute… you should get going, un."

"Alright…" I add barely audible.

"I'll meet up with you in a bit; in the meantime go to the base," Deidara says.

"No."


	22. Chapter 22 Aftermath

**Well this would have been up sooner, but my computer hates me -_- anyways here it is! kinda short and lame, but hopefully the next chapter will make up for it.**

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"What…?" Deidara asked puzzled.

Instead of replying I shoved him back harshly, causing him to nearly fall over. I avoided eye contact and stared blankly at the ground already knowing what he was going to say. Sasori was puzzled himself and simply made a sound like he was clearing his throat.

"What's to happen to him now…" I added after calming myself, ignoring the awkward feeling in the air. He brushed himself and looked irritated.

"Well his friends came to get him and they can have him, un," He said sounding satisfied with himself. So used to inflicting pain onto others and not even showing a hint of care. How could I have been like that? Am I still like that I wondered. I avoided making eye contact and looked at Sasori who was watching with amusement. Was he also mocking me like Zetsu? Did I make it that obvious that I was being so bothered by this all? How I could I be so easy to read. After all this time, I finally started to feel again. Feel sympathy. Ever since that day in my village where they killed my friends, my team. Nothing was ever the same. I had lost my former self back in the grass village and now look at the path that I've chosen. I stare into Deidara's eyes now, wondering if he can even see my discomfort. If he could even understand how it was like to truly care for something. Did he know I had pain hidden behind my eyes that had been stored away, did he even care? Did he even understand me in the least? What was I to him? I clenched my fist and turned away from them, walking towards the exit.

"Nayumei… where are you going, un…?" Deidara called angrily.

"It doesn't matter."

"What the hell does that mean? Un," Deidara called, irritation building up in his voice. It had been awhile since I had treated him so poorly and to him there was no reason for it, because he couldn't even tell. Sasori snapped at him to focus on the situation at hand. Any moment their enemies would arrive. "What the hell is wrong with her…" He added ignoring Sasori's advice.

Away from their sights Nayumei covered her neck with her hand which revealed her curse mark slowly fanning out. The pain was unbearable, but she stayed silent. She quickly left the base and headed off not caring which direction she went, only wanting to get far away as possible. The curse mark was covering a part of her face now as she felt the anger inside build up even more. The sight of Deidara sitting on Gaara was aggravating. And she was even more aggravated for the guilt she felt. Not understanding why now of all times she felt this way when she had killed many before. Deep down though she didn't want to admit it she was realizing that this was not her destiny.

"This mark…. Again… How could I have forgotten…?" I gasped and fell on my knees behind a tree. An evil feeling running through me, blinding me for a moment as I thought of how it be if I attacked the Akatsuki. It would be so surprising that no one would even notice, but what would that solve? I closed my eyes and breathed heavily trying to calm myself. I sighed angrily not aware of the presence approaching me. Only feeling the burning sensation of the mark spreading.

"I was ordered to take you back."

"I'm…I'm not going anywhere," I muffled and felt my eyes close. The voice sounding familiar, but nothing seemed to come to mind.

**~::.::.::.::.::~A few hours later~::.::.::.::.:: ~**

All the exhaustion must have finally caught up, and fighting back the curse mark from spreading had taken the remaining energy. It's obvious that anger triggers it and even when my memories begin to flow again, but why? I hated this mystery and I was craving for the answer, I needed to know why and I needed to get rid of the jutsu, but that was for another day.

"Oh no… Gaara…" I mumbled and quickly jumped back up onto my feet remembering where I was and why. Shortly after I had left, that strange boy and his friends must have arrived to find that they were too late. I had remembered a voice call to me before it had gone dark, but didn't recall who it could have been. They didn't take me anywhere though; I remained in the same place. But that didn't matter right now. Though I was upset and confused I had a feeling Deidara was in trouble. That same feeling I had before was back now and it always seemed to be a hint of something to come. I looked around and sensed no one, but that didn't mean I wasn't to be careful. To be on the safe side I took a hidden route and looked for Deidara, only hearing an explosion. I followed the sound cautions of my surroundings, and the anticipation building up. Deidara was selfish, but if something were to happen to him I would have no good reason to stay in the Akatsuki anymore. And to be honest without Deidara I would have no one else to talk to and I would possibly lose my mind. Be blinded with vengeance.

"Damn that idiot and his reckless tactics…" I mumbled, picking my speed up. I stopped to catch my breath and heard more footsteps behind me. I quickly turned around only to see Tobi standing there with a surprised look.

"Sorry Nay-chan… you were sleeping… and then you got up so fast..."

"Tobi… how long have you been following me?" I stuttered.

"How could someone like me always able to detect someone… was I really that out of it or did Tobi really just pop out of nowhere…?" I thought to myself and noticed the red columns that were in front of the base still standing. What was behind it wasn't considered a hideout anymore. I started to walk towards it with Tobi close behind. He mumbled something about how epic the battle must have turned out to be. I clenched my fist as we neared the destruction and noticed pieces of puppets everywhere. I suddenly a felt a slight tremor and looked over noticing a puff of smoke rise from a distant.

"What is that Nay-chan?" Tobi blurts out startling me. I ignore him and walk towards a puppet with red hair and stare at it in confusion. "Oh Lord Sasori… is dead." Tobi added.

"This is Sasori's…. true form…? A puppet…" I mumbled and kicked it over to its side to get a look of its face. Its eyes still remained wide open. "Someone like him… was defeated by those kids….how… pathetic."

"Tobi find me his ring."

"Okay!" He shouted and started to look through the garbage. I looked down at the puppets face feeling strange. Now that Deidara's partner was out of the way, he would be partner less. And finally the opportunity had arrived; there was a ring available now. And after waiting this long there was no question that I would be the one to receive it. If not I would have to take it by force. But Gaara was dead, and it was the Akatsuki's fault. My fault as well, for not doing anything. Instead standing by and watching, too scared to what would happen if I had stepped in, too scared to tell them later why. I had power that was just wasting away. Always too afraid to mess up my chances and now that this was happening and that ring would finally rest on my finger, I would no longer care on what I did around them. You could say I suddenly grew bitter. Like I used to be for a period of time, it was all because of that strange red haired boy. And the strange connection I felt had formed.

"I found it!" Tobi shrieked and lifted it up into the sky. He walked over towards me looking down at it. I extended my hand out slightly shaking, but Tobi stopped. He brought it closer to his face.

"Why should I give it to you…? I found it."

"Tobi give me the damn ring or I'll snap your neck!"

"No…" He muffled. I snatched it from his hand and held it in my own. It was so plain looking. I had spent all my time for something this simple. I slowly placed it on my finger, the one that Sasori had worn it on, and smiled. A smile from satisfaction and the amazing feeling that rushed through me, the feeling of accomplishment.

"You can have the next one Tobi… and it'll be very soon," I added. He stepped back not sure how to comprehend what I said and what I meant by it.

"How long are you going to just stand there without saying anything…Zetsu," I snapped and turned around as he walked towards us. He stared down at my hand with a blank face then back at Tobi who was silent.

"You really think it's that easy…" Zetsu mumbled.

"Shut up!" I snapped. The moment was gone as I suddenly remembered that Deidara was missing and so was Gaara's body. He was probably still in battle and since there were two teams they were most likely teaming up on him. With his arm missing from earlier it was probably even more difficult than I thought before. Without another moment to waste I head off towards the direction I heard noises before, leaving them two behind.

"Nay-chan?" I heard Tobi call, but I kept going. I no longer cared about the ring; I just needed to find Deidara. As for Gaara… there was no point in thinking about him anymore. I made it to a sight with trees fallen. I sensed no one's presence and continued to search around kicking things and looking high and low.

**~::.::.::.::.::~A few hours later~::.::.::.::.::~**

Didn't seem long, but time had definitely passed me by. I'd been searching for Dei and even went back to the place Sasori's battle took place. No trace of anyone, not even that strange blonde boy and his friends. Only Tobi and Zetsu who were still lingering around somewhere. I took a seat on a rock and took a sip from my water bottle I had attached to my side. I laid my chin on my hand and sighed closing my eyes for a moment and listening to the birds sing their morning song as the sun slowly rose again. I made sure I had everything and decided it best to return to the new base the others had made way to. I'm sure Deidara had managed to get out just fine and was probably making way right this minute. I started to walk off again and came to an open spot where everything looked destroyed as well. Not sure if it was a mirage, I spotted a figure with blonde hair sitting on a pile. I froze and started at it as it remained still.

"Deidara…?" I whispered and started to walk towards it slowly. He turned his head and stood up not saying a word. I walked towards him and noticed his other hand was gone. I stared at his two ripped sleeves and for a moment we stayed silent staring at each other.

"Not to worry it's just up to the elbow, I just have to find the rest, un," He spoke. I nodded not sure whether I should say anything else or not. He started to walk off and I stayed standing there looking at the field one more time. "Are you coming Nay?"

I turned to face him again and walked towards him staring into his eye.

"You know…. Sasori's dead right?" I stuttered.

"Yeah… I know."

"Well…. That means nothing stands in my way anymore," I added and lifted my hand. His eyes widen and I waited for him to grab it, until it hit me there was nothing for him to use. How would things be like now that he had no hands? Though it would probably be temporary, and he could possibly make new ones out of clay, but it wouldn't be the same.

"Let's go find my hand…" He mumbled. I nodded and walked off with him.

**~::.::.::.::.::~Meanwhile~::.::.::.::.::~**

"Sasori's dead…does that mean that Nayumei will finally be a member?" Konan asked walking into Pain's room he continued to look out the window and turned to her with a blank expression.

"We'll have to test her first."

**…...**

Meanwhile the revived Gaara returns home, and Naruto and his team escort him while the rest of the Akatsuki continue with their tasks.


	23. Chapter 23 Traitor

**Very sorry for the late update! My laptop died (fried can't be fixed) so I had to find a temporary replacement until I get a new one so I will probably update slow, :( but I'm trying to get one fast! Anyways I don't plan to just give up on anything I'm writing so just know that. Well here it is, kinda short... sorry :c And I've got alot instore for Nayumei! Anyways let me know your opinion so far, any helpful tips, etc...**

* * *

After the Gaara situation Deidara and I focused on finding his hand. Though it was impossible to find. So we decided to come up with another solution. I couldn't seem to get over the situation though, Gaara's image remained at the back of my mind and even worse the ring on my finger brought only empty feelings. I seemed to have lost the will to fight for something, having the goal to become officially a member at the base of all my thoughts. None the less things felt strange now that Sasori was gone.

Time had seemed to be passing by slowly. Everything seemed to be going wrong and my mood had become unbearable even for myself. I'd have to distant myself from the others, and the more the days went by the more I wanted to change my life. Only there was that voice that was telling me it was too late. Just like I was too late to save that red haired boy. The only boy who made me feel different, unlike when I was around Deidara. I had realized I was starting to despise him, which was only making things a bit complicated especially since I just became a member, taking Sasori's place for the time being. Tobi of course was furious about it and Hidan didn't seem to stop with the comments. None the less I had decided that today I would change my attitude yet again and become stronger to where I wouldn't need to depend on anyone else. I grabbed my things and stepped out of my room to find Deidara standing there. Ever since his arm incident he's become more mischievous and irritating and on top of that sarcastic.

"Can I help you…?" I mumbled adjusting my bag.

"We have a new task so let's go, un…" He adds and turns his back and walks down the hallway. I walk after him and enjoy the silence that is between us. After a few minutes we head out and jump onto one of his clay birds and take off into the sky. He smirks at something up ahead and I stare at the passing clouds.

"Are we spying again? I thought we had other things to get done."

"There are some things you havta do yourself if you want it to get done right," He smirks. I avoid his gaze and look at the ground rushing underneath us. I wondered if he even noticed that I was no longer showing any interest in him, I wondered if he even cared in the least, I wondered why I wasted time on such nonsense. But I guess you can't explain everything. Some things just happen and you have to learn to deal with it. I took out my water and took a sip catching Deidara's eyes fixated on me.

**…...**

"Almost there, Dei?" He nodded in response and I pushed my bangs out of my face. Just at that moment I felt something skin the back of my neck. I noticed Deidara's facial expression reading surprise and horror and I felt myself lose balance. I felt like I was slowly falling off, as kunai knives flew past us. I looked down and noticed we were high up and the bottom was fogged to the point that I couldn't see any ground.

"Nay! Grab my hand!" Deidara shouted. I reached out and felt several knives puncture the skin on my back. I fell off the bird and suddenly my body felt like it weighed a thousand pounds as the bird became smaller and smaller.. My whole body seemed to go numb as I watched Deidara throw explosions and noticed three ninjas coming towards him. He looked down making eye contact and as fast as it all happened the fog separated us and I fell fast to an unknown ground. Finally snapping out of it I made hand signs for a vine jutsu and made a net catch me, but with the speed I was going, it snapped and I fell to the ground. My hands were suddenly covered with my blood as I looked around for someone. The fog was too thick and was making it too difficult. How could we have been caught so off guard?

"Deidara….?" I called softly scanning the bushes that were faint. I ripped the boomerang from my neck and threw it upwards to disperse some fog; it never came back down.

I laid there for what seemed like a really long time in silence, until the silence broke from the sounds of kunais flying. I made a wall around me with vines and heard more sounds. The walls were ripped down and in front of me stood two ninjas wearing a familiar outfit.

"Grass ninjas…?" I mumbled, feeling so nervous that my body was shaking uncontrollably.

"Looks like we finally found you, you stupid brat….you'll pay for what you did to our village!"

"I thought I got you off my back along time ago…" I added and took out a knife. Amidst their chatter another figure appeared from the mist making my heart sink to the bottom of my stomach.

"It can't be…" I stuttered, struggling to stand back up. My heart was thumping loudly against my chest as I stared at my former team member from the village hidden in the grass years ago, Tetsu, Takami. Now part of the special forces of the hidden grass village.

"Nice to see you again Nayumei… sure has been awhile, but unfortunately I'm going to have to cut our reunion short…" He stated with a hint of sadness and disgust in his voice. He looked at me up and down and added that he would have never guessed I'd become a part of the criminal organization known as the Akatsuki, the same organization that murdered his family long ago. With that being said he formed spears that looked like grass and sent them flying towards me, but our battle was cut short when Deidara showed up and exploded the scene. He stood on his clay bird and looked down at me extending his hand out. Kakuzu did a good job with sowing a fake arm for Deidara, though it wasn't the original.

"Let's go, un we've wasted too much time here," He added with a wide grin. I stared at the scene and looked up into his shiny eyes and on impulse threw a knife towards him. He dodged it and with that I ran off into the woods away from Deidara and away from the mist. I felt anger building up inside me and with that anger the burning sensation that occurred every time I did on my neck. Just what have I gotten myself into?

The knives that were used must have been dipped in poison for my whole body seemed to be giving out on me. Attacking Deidara like that would surely come across as my betrayal but I didn't care at the moment, I needed to get away and be alone. To clear all my thoughts, but I had suddenly slowed down. My thoughts even seemed to slow down and I felt myself collapse. My chest hurting like my heart was about to pop out of my chest and my head throbbing on all sides. I looked up at the clouds one more seeing Gaara's face taking shape in one of them and making me close my eyes.

**~::.::.::.::.:: The next day ::.::.::.::.::~**

Everything was such a blur. I had woken up to see a mysterious man in a black cloak with glasses and white hair giving me some sort of injection in my arm. He appeared to be talking to someone else, but I couldn't see who. My body was too weak and I was unable to even move my head. He spoke, but it sounded too muffled for me to understand. I hadn't recalled seeing this man before, but there was something else that was bothering me. There was that feeling again, like something was going to happen. Next he formed chakra, like medical ninjas do and began to heal the various wounds on my body. I clenched my teeth at the pain and closed my eyes again, wanting it to all be over.

"This won't take much longer, promise…" He added. "You really picked a dangerous spot to lie down in the open."

"Where am I?" I stuttered.

"That doesn't matter now…" He smirked and I felt another pain as he healed my wounds. I tasted dried blood on the side of my mouth and clenched my fists, angry at myself for being so weak again. After two brutal hours I felt better. He helped me sit up and I got a good look at his face. Why was he helping me? He looked suspicious. He examined me in a creepy way and stared at my neck and smirked.

"Yup she's the one alright," He thought to himself. "Why don't you come back to my place? So you can rest and get back on whatever you were doing. Oh and I hope you don't mind that I took off your cloak so I can tend to your wounds better. I avoided a glare at him for doing so without my permission, but he did help me after all. I nodded and thought of what Deidara would be doing this very minute, probably running back to tell the others or just not even caring.

**~::.::.::.::.:: Back at the base ::.::.::.::.::~**

"I presume the mission went well, Deidara," Pein commented and stepped forward from the shadowy room he had. Deidara looked ill stricken at the ground and avoided making eye contact. He was confused on all levels and didn't know how to put it. What was he suppose to say? He let his teammate run away… on top of that he wasn't sure what she was doing and didn't want to make it look like she betrayed them or was abandoning them, for they made up their minds long ago what to do with those who left without being told.

"It went perfectly, un," He added and tried putting on a confident face.

"Goood. Send Nayumei in, I need to speak with her about something…" Pein added. Deidara's face dropped as he felt the sweat drops form. Her name repeating over and over in his mind.

"She went off somewhere…un… I don't know exactly where," Deidara muffled.

"Well go find her then, it's urgent."

With that being said Deidara walked out and closed the door. He walked a few feet away and slammed his fist into the wall and gritted his teeth.

"I knew she wouldn't be a good partner…she doesn't appreciate art the way my man Sasori's did…but… I need her for now…" He whispered softly.

**~::.::.::.::.:: Later that Day ::.::.::.::.::~**

"Where am I?" I whispered and lifted myself off a bed in a plain looking room. No furniture around and no windows and for some strange reason it looked familiar. I walked towards the door and peeked into the dark candle lit hallway and preceded down it making sure I had my cape adjusted on properly. I looked around for someone, but the only sound I heard were the echoes coming from my footsteps.

"Ah, you're awake, "I heard a voice echo. I looked up and noticed a man in purple and wearing glasses walking towards me. A feeling in the back of my head telling me to get out of this place as soon as I can. "I see you found your way out of the room."

"Where's the exit…" I snapped. He seemed amused for some reason and chuckled to himself while stepping towards me.

"Don't come any closer…!" I snapped and pointed the knife towards him. He simply wore a grin and stepped back asking how I was feeling. I didn't reply and felt my head start to throb.

"I wonder if Deidara will come looking for me…" I thought to myself and started to walk past the mysterious man. "No who cares about him! Who cares about any of them…"

"Don't you want to know who gave you that gift. On your neck…"

I quickly turned around and stared at him right in the eyes, him still wearing that stupid grin on his face.

"You know something about it? I stuttered nervously.

"Of course I do… the very man that gave it to you is in this area, he's been waiting."

With that being said I felt my heart begin to race. If he was speaking the truth then this would be the chance I've been waiting for and without even trying to find him. Or it could all just be a trap, but if it wasn't I would never forgive myself for giving up such an opportunity, and besides a Shinobi should never fear. If I could finally uncover all the truth and restore my old memories then I would have a better understanding of who I am and what I'm suppose to be doing. More importantly why I felt so hurt when Gaara died. I slightly glared at him and questioned him if he was being serious and all he added was to follow him to find out.

"State your name first…" I added.

"My, quite serious are we? Hm…." He smirked and turned back around. "Kabuto Yakushi."


	24. Chapter 24 A Deal is Made

"Kabuto…?"

"Nayumei was it? Isn't it something you've been longing for to find out about that curse mark?" Kabuto added.

"I never told you my name," I snapped bitterly. Kabuto began to walk away ignoring my comment. I attempted to hit him from the back, but before I knew it he had his grip on my hand. I smacked it away and slapped him across the face. He slowly turned his head to face me again, but I was getting more frustrated by the second.

"You're actually not as weak and pathetic as you look."

"What the hell did you say!"

"You're beginning to get on my nerves…" He added and turned back around. I hesitated whether or not I should follow him down the long hallway he was headed. But sure enough I did.

**~::.::.::.::.:: Meanwhile::.::.::.::.::~**

"I have reason to believe that Nayumei has left the Akatsuki due to selfish unknown reasons. And I also have sources to believe that she has gone off somewhere with a strange man in a cloak…" Kakuzu reported.

"You're lying, un!" Deidara shouted. "Where could you have gotten such information?"

"Be quiet! You're the one that was supposed to look for her, but you don't even know where she is do you?" Kakuzu added.

"Silence! If this is true then we have no choice, but to find her… We can't let the risk run of her opening her mouth and telling someone of our plans or next target… it's too risky. If what you say is true Kakuzu then we will have to eliminate her without a second thought."

"You can't, un! This is just a misunderstanding… Nayumei wouldn't…" Deidara began, but knew he had nothing to argue with. She did attack him and had disappeared and it had already been a few days with no sign of her.

"I'll send for Hidan…" Pein added.

"No! Let me do it…" Deidara said calmly. His face blank and free of any emotion. Kakuzu eyed him carefully before waiting for Pein's response. "No Deidara. I know you and Nayumei had something and knowing you…" Pein continued.

"I'll kill her. You have my word, un."

"Very well then."

**~::.::.::.::.:: A few minutes later ::.::.::.::.::~**

"Where is he? Show him already," I snapped as we neared a big door. Kabuto hadn't said a word and pushed the door open. There was some talking, but it all sounded muffled. Finally Kabuto opened the door more and said it was ok to come in, but I had a horrible feeling that I shouldn't walk in there. I took a minute to just stare at the door and this mysterious man. Taking a breath in, I walked towards him and he closed the door and stood in front of it so as to mean I wasn't allowed to leave.

"Finally my child, you have returned…" An eerie voice called.

An unexplainable feeling swept over me. I suddenly felt my whole entire go numb. Like I had been paralyzed or put under some sort of jutsu. It was that voice…. It was so damn familiar and just the sound of it seemed to bring so much fear into me. I felt my body begin to shake and the curse mark on my neck pulsate. I slowly turned my head to see the figure that was sitting in the shadow with only a part of his face showing which was his yellow eye. Full of something that was unexplainable. And I myself couldn't comprehend why I suddenly felt so…trapped. Like I could no longer breathe. Like I could no longer speak. What exactly was going on? And why did he call me by that name… child… and how could they have known my name. Could it be this was the man that I'd been told about before. The one who gave me this damn curse. Who imprisoned me from my past? Who erased a part of me. He began to laugh, and his laugh itself sent an eerie feeling in the room.

"Don't tell me you forgot!" He snapped. "It was fate really to meet again like this, Akada."

"Orochimaru?" I whispered. "You…"

"I had heard you'd been looking for the one who gave you that special gift, but I never imagined we'd meet face to face like this the way we did."

"You gave this to me… why!"

"Oh you don't remember? Allow me to help you."

Without another word I felt myself fall to the ground against my will. I let out a few screams of pain that I didn't even know I was holding and with that my head began to throb so intensely that I couldn't remember the last time I had felt this much pain. It was almost like someone was beating me with a bat or worse. Images began to race through my mind and I couldn't even make sense of any of it. Some were so familiar and others were nothing, but empty pictures with no meaning. After what seemed like agonizing hours, it finally stopped and I felt too exhausted to even lift my head.

"I have no use for you that's why I threw you away. You were worthless… you had all hat power and didn't want it, just like you still secretly wish you didn't. Tell me child, what are you doing in the Akatsuki if you can't stand the thought of killing? You're just like… You're mother…" He said.

But the last thing he said was the most mesmerizing. My mother? Who was my mother? I slowly lifted my head asking to be able to leave since I was of no use. He smirked and walked towards me.

"How about a deal, my lord," Kabuto added. He was amused by the whole show.

"Hmm?"

"If she helps us by killing off one of the Akatsuki members, then we can let her go, restore her memory, and lift the curse mark…" He spoke suspiciously. Somehow I knew that there was no way to lift the mark for it would mean my death, but Orochimaru agreed and asked if I would be willing to. Before I knew it I was standing and throwing knives at him.

"You're lying! Why the hell should I trust you! If what you say is true then how can I do something like that for you if you threw me away! I'm not just a piece of furniture that you can dispose of! I'll kill you for messing with my head! I'll kill you! And you better tell me where my mother is! You tell me right this minute!"

"Did I upset you?" He smirked. I threw more knives at him, but each time Kabuto got in the way and dodged them with ease.

"This is stupid…. I need to get out of this place… I need to go back…I need to…" I thought to myself and looked back at the exit. Orochimaru continued to smile and was acting like he was waiting for me to take the lunge towards it. Like he knew I would give up and make for my escape, but if he was really speaking the truth then why push it away when it was right in front of me? Then suddenly I pictured everyone in the Akatsuki and lastly I picture Gaara. Who seemed to have impacted me the most. How I secretly wished I never went down this path… how I could just start over and have lots of friends. I hated to kill when it came to innocent people, but when it came to other Shinobi it was different. I hated that there was also some excitement that accompanied it. But most of all I wanted to be like Gaara. To be able to help strangers without a second thought and to live a normal happy life in one place and not traveling or on the run. I wanted more than anything to wish this had all never happened… but most of all I wanted to remember my mother.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A few hours later::.::.::.::.::~**

It was raining hard. The sky was no longer a shade of blue with passing clouds, but a colorless roof. The only sound that remained was the sound of raindrops hitting leaves. I walked for what seemed like a really long time, going straight to the Akatsuki hideout, hoping that Deidara would understand… that the others didn't know what really went down. But despite that I had the image of that man implanted in my brain and I couldn't shake it. I still felt like he was around, like his presence had followed me when I left. And though he explained to me what happened to me and how he found me, that he really saved me, I suddenly felt like I owed him something. I looked down at my hands and felt myself sniffle. Of course I would be catching a cold walking out like this. Right now all I wanted was to sleep in my comfortable bed and not have to explain anything, but I knew it would sure not be like that. I felt myself collapse to my knees and sniffled again. Right under me was a puddle and I could see my reflection perfectly.

"_**You're actually not as weak and pathetic as you look."**_

It was true my look did resemble that of a younger girl in a way. And though I was only 16 I felt so much older. My long brown hair always tied into side tails so they were pig tails, but that wasn't a sophisticated look. Without another moment to spare I took out a kunai knife and chopped off both of them. The hair ties that once held my beautiful long wavy brown hair fell into the puddle and I watched as my hair fell to the sides of my face and rested perfectly on my shoulders. Such long hair that it was enough to make a wig maybe even two. I covered them slightly with dirt and stood up ready for my new goal. For I now had a new purpose and that was for me only to know. I suddenly heard bells, bells that were too familiar. Within minutes I heard footsteps that had come to a stop.

"You cut you're hair? Why'd you fucking do that? You just ruined your image…" A voice spoke. A voice that made my blood boil to such an extent. I tightened my grip on my knife and lifted my head up to let the rain drops hit my face.

"It's time I put you to silence for good."

"Huh! What was that? You think you have a chance against me? I'm fucking immortal, you can't kill me! But I…. I can kill you…! And I now have orders too so I can have my fun!" Hidan shouted. I turned to face him with wide eyes as he charged towards me with his weapon.

"Orders…?" I whispered to myself and jumped from tree to tree as he came at me swinging it like an idiot. He always hated me, for reasons I didn't understand and usually when he fought he kept it together though he was insane but this… was so out of his character. I dodged it every time and flew into the air landing back on the ground. Hidan didn't even look an ounce tired when I was already out of breath. If it was true that Pein had ordered everyone to look for me then what was I to do? They were all a bunch of hot heads, there was no way they'd listen, only Deidara would, but I now gave him no reason to trust me.

"Die bitch!" Hidan yelled. Lost in my train of thought I didn't dodge fast enough and felt my shoulder being ripped open. A giant gush of blood squirting into the air and all over my face, his face and the ground. I fell to the ground with my mouth open and heard him land on his feet. "I've always wanted to finish you… you aggravated me… the way you came in… and how annoying you acted… so innocent… and even now you act like you're ahead…. When you too have soaked your hands in blood."

"Hidan…I'll get you back for this."

"Goodbye, Deidara's…" He began and was suddenly knocked towards a tree, followed by an explosion. I began to crawl towards a tree to stand up using its trunk as support. The pain was unbearable, but I ignored it and looked around to see no sign of anyone else. The gushes of blood began to spill onto the ground and I cringed my teeth to avoid screaming out. Suddenly Hidan came back into view jumping from one place to another as Deidara threw explosives at him. Deidara than began to walk towards me ignoring Hidan's talking. Deidara didn't say a word and on his face it read emotionless. I locked eyes with him, trying to read what he was thinking, and I suddenly felt like this was a completely different person, but before I knew it he had a hold of me and swung me into his arms bridal style, rather harshly and then jumped onto his traveling clay creation.

"You know she won't be accepted Deidara….Just let me finish her off!" Hidan spat, but Deidara was silent. He only looked ahead and avoided eye contact with me. I could only stare at his face wondering what was going on and if he was planning to kill me.

* * *

**Well there it is! Sorry if I potrayed Hidan in the wrong way or whatever... I don't pay attention to him in the anime or manga.. ehh. Anyways things are just starting to fire up! Thanks for the reviews and always feel free to let me know if something is wrong or inaccurate.**


	25. Chapter 25 Risky Business

The next few days were just complicated. No one knew what was going on anymore and I myself was dumbfounded. It all seemed like a really long dream, and maybe some parts were dreams. But the image of Kabuto and that man Orochimaru stayed implanted in my brain. As for the whole situation with the Akatsuki, as soon as I was brought to one of our secret bases Konan took me into the infirmary. They had given me something to sleep that seemed to have knocked me out for days, until finally three days later I open my eyes to find myself alone. Before I was brought here though Deidara had carried me without a word. He couldn't even look at me in the eye. I tried to explain myself, but he wasn't listening.

"Konan…?" I finally spoke softly looking around the empty room. The silence was eerie and I slowly lifted myself feeling the bandages on my body from the wounds Hidan had caused. Just then the door slowly opened and I saw a familiar face walk in."Dei…" He walked towards me and stood by the bed with a blank expression. I wanted desperately to explain myself and for him to understand. My thoughts just seemed to no longer make sense.

I tried to reach for him, but instead my head fell onto his chest. He placed his fake hand on my shoulder and I tried to listen to his heart beat, but couldn't.

"I need to explain what happened…" I started pulling away and put on a serious face.

"There's no need for that un, Pein wants to see you in the meeting room downstairs." Without another word he left and gave me a half smile before leaving. I pushed the covers off and placed my cloak back on. I walked out of the infirmary and followed the long hallway till I reached the staircase. I passed by Zetsu's room which was now empty of him and then all the way to the meeting room. I was wondering why they didn't want to meet in the office, but it all became clear when I pushed the door open. Everyone except Itachi and Kisame were seated. I felt a glare form on my face and saw Hidan sitting in the seat in the back corner. Pein didn't look to happy either and I held in my breath before walking towards my chair.

"I should have known it wasn't going to be easy to forget…" I thought to myself. I looked over at Deidara who was starring into space.

"Nayumei we've all discussed it and felt that you have proven you aren't ready to be part of this organization."

I felt that sinking feeling in my stomach and my fist tighten. I looked at everyone who was starring at me. Then Tobi came out from the shadows and stared towards me.

"The ring is now Tobi's!" Tobi added with a bit of excitement in his voice.

"What…?" I stuttered.

"Tobi is now replacing the missing member of this organization. We're dropping you're rank. Maybe next time, if you prove yourself. We don't have time for people who put everything at risk"

Just like that everything I worked for went down the drain. I felt my blood boil as I slipped off the ring and through it at Tobi who caught it and placed it on his finger. Hidan did sort of explain to me back when we were fighting what exactly everyone was thinking and I was glad they weren't going to make this bigger than it was. In fact it shouldn't even be that big of an issue. I guess the Akatsuki were itching for the smallest opportunity to kick me out and send me back to where I started. Hidan began to say something but I walked out of the room without another word.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A few minutes later::.::.::.::.::~**

"**If she helps us by killing off one of the Akatsuki members, then we can let her go, restore her memory, and lift the curse mark…" **

Kabuto's words had definitely sunk in, but at the time she had made the decision that she wasn't sure if she was actually going to go through with it, but after what just happened she was starting to warm up to the idea.

"Someone's going to pay for this…" I spoke softly into the empty hallway.

"But it's your fault…" I heard Hidan's smirk and watched him as he walked towards me. I stood back up on my feet and looked down at the ground without saying anything as he began with his taunts. Hidan was too busy talking to notice the look on my face. He leaned on the wall and began talking about the things I had said during our fight and he began to chuckle.

In a blink of an eye I slammed my fist into the wall right by his face. His eyes stayed calm as the cement walls around him began to crack and crumble. My fist began to drip blood and all I could do was lift my head and stare into his face with disgust.

"I'm sick and tired of your voice… Just leave me alone!"

Hidan had finally seen a side of Nayumei that was rarely ever shown. The look in her eye some people like him could say was exciting, for there was so much hatred and even a murderous intention. He watched as she slowly walked off allowing the blood to drip from her fist and looked at the massive hole she had left on the space just inches away from his face. Like she was mocking him in away and that didn't sit well with him.

**...…**

"It's just a stupid ring; it doesn't mean I'm any less of a person…" I told myself looking into the mirror. I looked like a completely different person now that my hair was four times shorter then ever before. But the look was growing on me. I walked over to the drawer in my room and looked for the book I had kept my drawings. Just as I thought the one of Gaara was still in there. I placed my hand on it and felt a half smile form.

"Can you tell me why…? I think so much of you…" I spoke softly starring at the drawing. I laid on the hard floor and starred at my ceiling feeling my eyes close.

Now that Tobi was the one in Sasori's place, that would mean I would return being next to Zetsu. But maybe it was for the best since Deidara and I seemed to be only angering each other. Maybe this was my chance to get a break, and the least I could do was give it a fair try at getting along with him. As for Tobi he would be Deidara's new partner in crime and I wondered how that would play out.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A few weeks later::.::.::.::.::~**

The days had gone by and I felt like I was on probation! No one would talk to me and I only left my room to get something to eat or use the bathroom, but other then that I made no attempt to socialize. Deidara had gone off on a mission with Tobi and I wondered how that was going since Deidara couldn't stand the kid. There was barely anyone here anyways so it was good to have some peace in quiet and have time to clear my thoughts. It was safe to say I was confused about a lot of things, but I wanted to know more about myself. How sickening it was to be robbed of memories. I looked through my pictures one more time and found one of strange woman I drew long ago.

"Could this be her?" I whispered and was startled by a knock at the door. To my surprise I found Zetsu there and he said that I was assigned a solo mission.

"A solo mission?" Zetsu nodded before walking off. It been almost two months since the Gaara incident and though I still felt sad about it I had other things to worry about. Like the fact that I decided to follow Orochimaru's orders and no one even knew what was coming. After being robbed of my position I vowed that they would see the true power I possessed and that soon Tobi would become useless and they'd beg for me back. Ever since then I kept it on the down low and rarely talked to Deidara. This was a good opportunity to show them that I can be trusted. Or least make them think I was. I still had to think over my ideas before I was to do anything. Especially since I was just accepted back. "Wait Zetsu!"

Zetsu stopped and turned slightly. "Why aren't you coming?"

"I have other things to do. Don't waste anymore time." With that he disappeared down the hallway that was poorly lit.

"Hm…"

I gathered my things and walked towards Pein's office. He briefly explained that it was a simple task and that I was merely to collect data from this man in a far away village located near the hidden leaf village. Also I was to give him an envelope that contained people's pictures and other facts. It was a rather heavy envelope. I remembered the last mission I had like this where I was assigned to kill off the man, but this time was different. We still had to capture a few of the tailed beasts and this one was relating to one. Usually I was allowed to check the files, but Pein emphasized that I was no longer allowed to know any information at the moment and if I corporate this whole thing would soon be lifted and forgotten.

"One more thing Nayumei…" Pein added as I started to head towards the door. "Don't keep me waiting."

"Don't worry about that."

**...**

All was said and done. I finally started to head off and at a faster pace then usual. It would take two days of travel to get to this destination, but not for me. And if anyone would try and interfere then I'd have to eliminate them. Though it been awhile since I'd actually killed someone I felt that my attitude about that was changing back to the way it was at the beginning. It shouldn't matter. To this day I still couldn't fully understand why one person changed the way I thought and acted.

"I believe the two tailed beast is next on the list… but I just don't know anymore… ehh…" I sighed and pushed myself even more looking straight ahead.

After a few hours of nonstop traveling I stopped to remove my Akatsuki cloak and stuffed it in my backpack. This way I shouldn't be stopped and there wouldn't be an unnecessary delay. I continued on towards the location feeling uneasy and realizing I hadn't eaten breakfast. I noticed a trail and jumped out from the trees and onto the ground, carefully scanning around first then noticing a few places up ahead. My stomach's growling startled me and I sighed before walking up the trail.

"I believe the village is just a little past this…" I told myself and noticed a restaurant that was a light shade of pink. Without a second thought I licked my lips at the thought of some delicious food and pushed the door open with the bell attracting people's attention. I noticed a spot at the counter and took a seat looking around.

"What can I get for you today ma'am?" An old lady asked.

"Just tea for now…and maybe some…" I started and was startled by a very loud laugh. I looked around the restaurant and spotted a group that looked like they were from the leaf village.

"Settle down Naruto!" A girl with pink hair ordered. Once I got a good look of the boy I felt my heart beat increase and the nerves kicked in. But the two guys sitting across from them weren't with them before. One with unusually pale skin and the other most likely their sensei with light brown hair. A different sensei then the one I saw before.

"Here's your tea," The lady added placing a cup in front of me. I starred down at it and at my reflection. But all I could think of were the images of that day where we killed Gaara.

"**Because if it was him… He wouldn't just leave someone in need die…"**

**"Hang on Gaara! We're coming!"**

The voices began to spiral and I held my head as I quietly sipped my tea. Occasionally looking over at the energetic blonde boy that girl called, Naruto. The one that so desperately tried to save Gaara, but was too late. But he seemed too happy being that it was so recent. Occasionally I would notice Naruto's face expression change when he talked to the paler looking boy. I'd add more honey into my tea and look around trying to listen to what they were talking about and why they were here. I'd must have been noticed because their sensei was eyeing me as well with a suspicious look. I quickly ate a rice ball and paid and began to exit, accidently bumping into Naruto. My bag dropped and out fell the envelope Pein had given me. Naruto had also dropped an envelope. I grabbed one noticing Naruto's sensei eyeing me.

"Oh so sorry…"Naruto said helping me stand up. I couldn't help, but stare. This was Gaara's friend? And he was also a host for one of the great tailed beasts as well. Naruto noticed I was starring, but seemed like he had a very childish personality and just smiled apologizing.

"It's okay…" I mumbled and noticed his sensei notice my headband that I wore around my neck. It had the scratch through it like other Akatsuki members, but maybe that wasn't a good enough reason to prove who I was, but enough for suspicion. I quickly took my things and an envelope and rushed back out. I put it back on my back and headed off towards the destination. I felt uneasy again, but shrugged it off. Still in bewilderment that I had met Naruto, the same boy that must have been the one Gaara was talking about. I held onto the envelope excited because by this rate I would definitely get back early and this would definitely get Pein and the others to get off my back.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A few hours later::.::.::.::.::~**

Finally reaching the village I stopped to take a break. Quite amazed at myself by making it here in one day. I looked down at the envelope and knew Pein told me not to open it for there was a jutsu on it that would let him know if I did. But there was something odd about it. Now that I was getting time to reexamine it. The color was a different shade and it seemed a lot lighter then before. Not only that, but there was the fact that Naruto also had an envelope.

"There's only one way to find out… They will understand…" I stuttered nervously and opened it. When nothing happened I began to panic and kicked my backpack to the other side of the trail.

"I took the wrong envelope!"


	26. Chapter 26 Hunt or be Hunted

"I have to go after them! But I don't know where they went!" I slammed my fists into a tree and finally took a deep breath to think of something. Of all the things to go wrong this had to happen. And on top of that they were Gaara's friends. If they were to open that envelope not only would Pein have my head, but our plans would be exposed and the Akatsuki would never let that go. Or maybe Naruto and his group will come after me before the Akatsuki does. Or even worse they might even be in danger. I grab my backpack and look over at the village where I was suppose to meet with that man and sighed.

"Maybe they haven't even realized it yet…" I tried to reassure myself. I looked back as the village became smaller and smaller. "Damn it." What am I do when I do find them? Just explain to them that we switched envelopes, but what if they've already seen what's inside…. Then I'll have no choice but to…

**~::.::.::.::.:: Meanwhile::.::.::.::.::~**

"Would you slow down Naruto!" Sakura shouted. Naruto had the envelope in his backpack and was hurrying to get his mission done. Sai and Yamato were following close behind but Yamato had a funny feeling about that encounter back at the tea shop.

"Is it just up head Yamato?" Naruto called. They stopped for a moment to look around. "I believe so. Don't hurry in Naruto." He added calmly.

"Pffttt."

"He has a point Naruto…" Sai added.

"You be quiet!" Naruto snapped crossing his arms and puffing up his face. Sakura sighed as she watched the two bicker until Yamato calmed them down. They had a simple mission as well, but seeing as the whole Akatsuki situation happened so recently they can't risk Naruto going off alone or even with Sakura. He needed to have extra protection for the worst case scenario. They hurried past more trees and towards the village.

"Hey Naruto!" Yamato called. They came to an abrupt halt.

"Let me hold on to that envelope."

"Hm… Fine…." Naruto tossed it back and Yamato looked at it strangely.

"It's getting late we should stop here."Yamato added.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A few minutes later::.::.::.::.::~**

"Damn it... I can't believe this…" I snapped. I started to walk towards the pink shop I was at earlier and walked through the door straight to the lady at the counter.

"Oh hello miss back again already?" She added with delight.

"No I have a question… and I'd like you to answer honestly." The lady shrugged as I began to question her about the blonde haired boy and his friends that were there earlier. She said she heard them mention a mission in the rain village which was the other direction then I was heading. I tightened my fists and looked at the table they were sitting at. It was starting to get dark outside and at this rate I wouldn't have time to sleep. I wouldn't be able to afford that time to go to waste. I say goodbye to the old lady and start to head out to the opposite direction I had normally went. It would be incredibly hard to catch up with them in time, but there was still that slim chance they hadn't checked the envelope. If Pein were to ever find out about this I would never see the light of day again. From the shop to the rain village, it would take at least a day and a half. I'd doubt they'd travel during the night so they probably stopped somewhere along the way.

"This is going to be a long night…" I whined and started to head off into the dark woods. After a few hours of traveling I stopped to make a clone of grass and had her search another part of the woods. I then took off my headband and stuffed it into my bag. The plan was to somehow casually run into him and explain the mistake hoping they hadn't noticed anything fishy. If so then plan B would be to attack which would be rather difficult considering it is four against one. But I had no other options. The stuff in that envelope belonged to the biggest criminal organization of the most wanted criminals. It's not like they'd hand it over so generously.

**…...**

Dawn was starting to break and I just barely arrived at the village, but saw no sign of Naruto and his friends. They must have not made it yet. Even weirder, my clone never came and reported to me. I decided to get some tea while I waited. Of course there was that chance that they had already came and went, but even so that envelope would be gone forever. I started to get even more nervous thinking of all the possibilities and hoped that they would arrive any moment and then I could pretend none of this ever happened. To my surprise I heard Naruto's voice outside the shop. I quickly walked out to peek and saw the four walking in all casual. This was it.

"You there!" I called walking towards them and feeling myself shake. This whole situation sucked. Naruto's sensei looked at me like he was on to me and I held my breath as I calmly explained the situation.

"Aw no way! Yamato give her the envelope…" Naruto added. "Say what's your name anyways?" Naruto added. I looked at him blankly and then noticed Yamato slightly glaring at me as he examined me. I saw the hesitation in his eyes and wondered if he peeked inside.

"Nayumei…." I mumbled. I took out their envelope and slowly extended my hand out for Yamato to simply exchange them, but he held onto it and didn't look convinced. Finally what seemed like a gruesome five minutes which was only about one, he offered it to me, but just then someone came and snatched it. The one I was holding fell into a puddle and I looked dumbfounded at the rogue ninja thieves that began with saying the chief would never get it now. Most likely they were talking about the one Naruto and his team were suppose to deliver.

"That's mine damn it!" I thought to myself and tried to maintain my calm composure, but inside I was ready to tear someone apart. Naruto called after them as they quickly disappeared into the woods. I bit my lip as I saw Naruto ready to go after them, but Yamato insisting he stays calm.

"Don't worry about it… I'll handle it…" I added calmly. "They took my envelope so you guys take yours and finish your mission."

"Are you sure Nayumei?" Naruto asked widening his big blue eyes. I nodded and attempted a smile, but noticed his sensei keeping a dead serious look on his face. He was definitely on to me.

"No the least we could do is help you retrieve it," He added.

"But what about the mission Yamato?" The paler one added.

"It's fine we have plenty of time!" Yamato added. I felt sweat drops form on the back of my neck as I looked into space trying to keep calm. This was getting worse and worse by the minute. And those thieves were getting away while we just stood there discussing the matter.

"No really I got this," I added and started to head off, but Yamato placed his hand on my shoulder," Why in such a hurry?"

"It's a part of my mission…" I mumbled stiffening.

"Well what are we waiting for!" Naruto exclaimed and took off ahead. I side glared at Yamato as Sakura and Sai went off after Naruto. I followed as well trying to get ahead and hoping to lose them in the process. There was no doubt in my mind that Yamato was already on my case and was trying to get his hands on it first. After all it was important and the leaf village was known for being on our tails. In any case I would have to keep my skills at a very minimum to avoid any extra attention and to avoid Yamato's assumptions of coming true. After awhile of searching the woods we came to the conclusion that the thieves were long gone. I was ready to split trees in half, but maintained my cool as Yamato occasionally glanced at me. I crossed my arms as Naruto assured me that we would find them in no time.

"Don't worry! I won't rest till you have that envelope back in your hands!" Naruto exclaimed. I felt a smile spread on my face as I can tell why Gaara wanted to be like him. Everything about this kid was so different. Just being around him seemed to give me a bit of peace. Of course people would want to be like him, if I hadn't taken this path I would probably be one of his fans.

"But you barely know me…" I added cautiously noticing Yamato's expression as I said it.

"I'll help anyone who needs my help," Naruto added giving me a thumbs up and making what seemed like a hundred clones scatter throughout the woods.

"Naruto…" I thought to myself.

**...….**

With no luck with searching we stopped and took a seat. I kept my guard up and it was my turn to look at Yamato with suspicion. If he knew something why wasn't he saying anything? Better yet why wasn't he doing anything?

"So Nayumei was it? What village do you come from?" Sai asked.

"Why do you need to know?" I snapped. They all looked at me in surprise and then I cleared my throat. "I mean…" I started to speak, but remembered that I didn't know where I was originally from, before my memories were erased. "The grass village."

"Oh cool! Where's your headband?" Naruto added. I felt my blood begin to boil for it seemed that they were all trying to corner me and wait for me to say something off, then attack.

"I… uh… I lost it."

"What are you suppose to do with that envelope?" Yamato added breaking the silence. I felt my head jerk up as I put on a serious face and looked at him dead in the eye.

"I'm supposed to deliver them… a simple mission really… but I'm already behind schedule so I'm sure I'm going to be fired…." I added and laughed nervously. Naruto began talking about himself a little and I noticed when ever I would add something Yamato looked like he was ready to attack. I wanted to ask them how they felt about losing Gaara, but according to them I wouldn't or shouldn't know anything about it. It would only raise Yamato's suspicions. So I tried to block that, but I was aching to know how Gaara was like around them and how Naruto and him became friends. How the sand village was doing now that he was gone.

"You really don't seem that bad! I thought you were a little stuck up back at the shop…" Naruto added nervously.

"Stuck up?" I muffled. Naruto began to laugh and I noticed Sakura smile every time Naruto laughed. Sai looked the least interested and I was finally starting to feel a bit comfortable. I was so confused though at how Naruto would help a random person like me when I asked him not to. He was a stubborn little guy. And it reminded me of Gaara and how stubborn he was when he was helping me.

"Well let's go look for those thieves!" Naruto added standing back up. "Don't worry Nayumei, I got this!"

"These people…. Are so… friendly… it's too weird for me…" I thought to myself.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A few hours later ::.::.::.::.::~**

We finally did find that envelope, but when we did, the thieves that had it were all dead. There was blood everywhere and the envelope lay in front of a tree just barely opened. I knew it must have been the jutsu that Pein had placed, but Naruto and them seemed to have thought they were attacked or something, but I knew Yamato knew. The whole time I'd been with them he'd have an eye on me like he was ready to attack if necessary. I reached for the envelope, but Yamato's hand stopped me. I looked past him and noticed Naruto and the others weren't paying attention.

"That was a forbidden jutsu used on there… I knew it from the moment I saw it… what kind of business are you involved in?" He whispered sternly. I pushed his hand away and grabbed the envelope.

"That's none of your business! Now if you'll excuse me I'm late for a mission!" I shouted and jumped up onto a tree.

"Goodbye Naruto… see you again soon!" I added before taking off. Yamato called for me, but I started to speed ahead with force.

**…...**

"What's wrong Yamato?" Sakura asked.

"I have reasons to believe that girl is involved with the Akatsuki somehow…" He added. Naruto became serious as Yamato explained that he noticed the headband and that the jutsu had been reported before when the Akatsuki would try and weasel people out of money.

"But she seemed so…" Sakura added just as shocked as Naruto.

"That envelope could contain information of which tailed beast their after next…" Yamato added.

Naruto began ranting that they shouldn't let her get away to avoid a repetition of Gaara. So they decided to hunt after her.

I started to head as fast as I could towards the village. I know I'd taken about a day and half extra and that Pein would already be pissed as it was. But I for some reason felt guilty for leaving them like I did. After they helped me search for it and me leaving without even a thank you. I already knew the fastest trail to the village so I sped through it and headed towards there. The good thing was that I didn't tell them about where I was headed so that was good. I had figured that the reason my clone never came back was because Yamato had taken it out. It was strange at how I didn't even get a feeling or anything. I had a funny feeling that, that was not the last that I'd see them, and maybe they'd understand if they knew I knew Gaara. Oh how I wish I had did something to help him out. Then I wouldn't be feeling this heavy guilt. Just then Yamato appeared in front of me and through several kunai knives. I heard Naruto and the others land on the tree right behind me and felt myself begin to shake from nerves.

"I'm sorry Nayumei, but we can't let you go with what's in that envelope," Yamato spoke.

"So you know…"I mumbled looking down at the ground.

"Nayumei… just give us the envelope okay?" Naruto added sounding just as confused as I was.

"Are you crazy? I've worked so hard for them to notice me! I'm not going to just throw it away because of you strangers! I can't believe I felt bad about Gaara!" I snapped and placed my free hand on my mouth shocked that I had managed to let that slip. Just then I felt myself being swooped off my feet and into the air. I looked down at the four and saw Naruto with his eyes ready to pop out of their sockets. I looked at Deidara who had shown up out of nowhere and had me on his bird.

"Well if it isn't the nine tailed Jinchuuricki!" Deidara called. "Maybe next time, un?"

They began to get smaller and smaller and I heard Naruto yell my name and noticed his chakra begin to change. It appeared he had a strong hatred towards Deidara and if I was correct they fought before. And it was because of them Deidara had lost his arms.

"Why are you here?" I asked finally getting serious.

"I just had a feeling…." He added. "You'd think after finding out their friend is ok they'd be more thankful…un." He added.

"What are you talking about Deidara?" I added feeling my voice rise.

"Hm? The sand Jinchuuricki is alive."


	27. Chapter 27 Expect the Unexpected

"Whaat….But…" I stuttered. Suddenly it felt like my mouth was dry and no words were able to form clearly.

"Let's finish that mission, un" Deidara added.

"Gaara is alive…but how? How?" I thought to myself. Suddenly feeling a headache coming on, I laid down and watched the clouds as we went by. I had asked Deidara how he knew where I was and why did he come, and on top of that where was Tobi? His partner. Apparently Pein was getting impatient and sent for someone and luckily it was Deidara who had just arrived, otherwise Hidan would have been the one. Knowing him he would have probably tried to kill Naruto and his friends, or instead capture Naruto who was a host of one of the tailed beasts and kill his friends. Hidan would surely not let him get away for anything. Oh how I wish I wasn't involved in this, then I would have probably led a normal life and be good friends with Naruto. "Stop thinking nonsense Nayumei! Remember who you are! There's no way anyone can turn back now! I have to be stronger and kill anyone that's in my way!" I tried to reassure myself.

After what seemed like two hours we finally delivered the envelope and in return the man gave me a new one that contained files of some sort. I was still pretty pissed that I needed Deidara's help again to complete such a simple mission. But my head keeps going off on trails and I need to stay on one road. It was time for me to go home. Deidara must have seen the look on my face because no one talked the whole way there. The sound of birds chirping broke the silence after awhile and I watched them calmly at how they spent most of their day flying around and making music. How I wish my life had been simpler, but not everyone gets what they wish for.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A few hours later ::.::.::.::.::~**

"You took longer then expected Nayumei. Are you forgetting the situation you're still in?" Kakuzu said as I walked towards Pein's office.

"Get off my back! I'm sick and tired of all of you on my case! So what if I ran off, there are other things to worry about so quit wasting your time on what I'm doing and focus on your own crap."

"Who do you think you are? You stupid brat, are you forgetting we could easily destroy you when we find the need to, so…" Kakuzu added, but was interrupted when Pein opened the door. It stayed silent and I tightened my fist as I turned to look at him, with all my anger raging inside waiting for the moment it could surface.

"Don't tell me you're going to yell at me too, because I'm tired of this, of everyone," I snapped. Deidara looked worried as he stared at Pein waiting for what he was to do, but all he said was that the situation was forgotten and not to do it again. He closed the door and left everyone in the room dumbfounded and confused. I sighed heavily and reached for my backpack that I dumped on the floor and started to head towards my room. Once I slammed the door I threw my things on the floor and reached for my sketch book. I laid back down on my bed and stared at the drawing of the mysterious women that was in my dreams before. I was starting to realize that it was a drawing of my mother, but the dreams itself I couldn't remember. Nor could I remember where she was and what happened to her.

**...**

**"****If she helps us by killing off one of the Akatsuki members, then we can let her go, restore her memory, and lift the curse mark…" **

**"I had no use for you that's why I threw you away. You were worthless… you had all that power and didn't want it, just like you still secretly wish you didn't. Tell me child, what are you doing in the Akatsuki if you can't stand the thought of killing? You're just like… You're mother…"**

"The faster I do it the faster I can remember… and then I'll go from there…" I told myself and slowly sat back up. I would need to figure out how to make it look like an accident. But my target was definitely set; I was going to kill tonight. I grabbed some weapons and put them on a strap on my shorts. They were hidden, and that's exactly how I'd have to do this. I peeked through my door and once the coast was cleared I headed down the hallway towards my destination. My heart was pounding and my head was throbbing. My hands were shaking, but I just told myself what was at the end of the tunnel and what would be my reward. But the closer I got to that room, the more I started to feel guilty.

"Damn it!" I whispered and threw the knife on the ground. I sunk to my knees and heard footsteps coming, I jerked my head and found Itachi standing there looking down at me with those cold eyes of his. "I don't have the nerve… I don't have the guts anymore…" I thought to myself and slowly got up. I was confused as to why Itachi didn't say anything, but I felt he already knew and therefore I didn't need to explain. Instead I headed towards my room and destroyed everything that was inside. Everything that was, until I saw my sketchbook. The only thing I couldn't ruin.

**...**

A few days passed with nothing new really going on. That was until today. Kakuzu had told me he needed to go on a solo mission and there was another mission that needed two people. Everyone else seemed to be gone again so I didn't know who the other person could have been. That was until I walked into Pein's office and saw Hidan standing there. I tried to keep calm because I wanted to be seen serious so when Hidan made a remark I bit my lip and took the orders from Konan who was filling in for Pein for some reason that was unknown. Our simple mission was to go and snoop around for there a host of a tailed beast that kept moving around because he knew somehow we were coming. It couldn't have been Yamato and them because the jutsu, as seen with the thieves, would kill anyone who tried to open it that wasn't the person receiving it. That's what Pein meant when he said he would know if I peeked because I would be dead. I decided that it was best to try and corporate with Hidan on this mission. And somewhere along the line I wanted to know why he always did everything to make my life a living hell. But that would have to be for later. We traveled and traveled and got closer to the village. Hidan complained every now and then asking when we'd get there. It's like I was in charge for once and I sort of liked it that way. I wanted someone to take my orders and so I took advantage of it and Hidan didn't seem to really notice. He was too focused on finding a sacrifice for his religion. As long as he didn't even think of using me, things were good. Hidan would ask about my hair and I would ignore it. Every time I saw my reflection I had to stop and stare to make sure it was really me. But it wasn't just the outside I was looking at, but within, through my eyes, and all I saw was a stranger.

"I believe we just climb up here and we should be able to see the village," I mumbled and stepped on a rock. It must have triggered traps because the next thing I knew there were a bunch of nets flying towards us. It only took one swing of my boomerang to cut them and I looked around for any ninjas that spotted us, but nothing. Hidan was actually not being as bad as I thought he would be. We finished the mission with ease and I saw a different side of him. It's like he wasn't even aware of it himself that he hadn't made any negative comments for awhile. If only he'd stay this way then I guess he'd be okay.

"That wasn't so bad!" Hidan explained as we neared one of the bases the Akatsuki own.

"You know when you're like this, I actually don't want to kill you," I mumbled. He side glanced at me and simply smirked and looked up at the sky. The day was especially beautiful today, and the birds chirping were even louder. A few butterflies even swayed by us, and right over the hill was the secret hideout hidden underground. I used the jutsu to make the secret door appear, and in we went to report to Konan how the mission had gone. We have to keep moving bases to avoid being sniffed out. You'd think I'd be used to it by now, but all I really want is to go to one place, and have a real home.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A few days later ::.::.::.::.::~**

"I can't waste anymore time… I have to see Gaara for myself… then maybe I will no longer think about it… Yeah that's what I'll do!" I spoke softly to myself and looked around. Kisame had trained with me for a bit and as a result injured my left arm, but it was a small price to pay. Deidara even called me his pet again, but the spark I realized… was gone. But I still cared for him just not like before and I don't know what it was that changed, but it did. But where would I start to look for Gaara? There's no way I'd travel all the way to the sand village again, and it would most likely be heavily guarded now. Besides someone would recognize me from the last time though I did remain hidden I'm sure someone saw and even if my hair was different my face didn't change. It would only take one person to start an all out war. How would I even survive something like that? All just so I can see him… it's not like I would talk to him… it be too weird and I doubt he'd even remember me. No I'm sure he's already long forgotten me. I've been wasting all this energy and he continues with his life as the Kazekage. I've probably never crossed his mind. But in the end I have to see his face one more time so I could rid this guilt… so I could be able to think clearly again. Then afterwards I can search for Orochimaru and see if there's anything else I could do instead of the option I have.

"No Nayumei… Back to business…" I told myself and decided a nap was at best.

**...**

"I'm going to find some real food to eat… tell Deidara and the others if they ask kay Tobi?"

"Bye Nay-chan!" Tobi shrieked and off I went. There was a village not far and I was craving some spicy ramen or even some curry. Or even some rice balls. Just the thought of all that delicious food made me hurry. When I did arrive I ordered a big load of food, that any normal person would look at me thinking I was eating for two people. Right when I was reaching for some money I noticed my wallet was empty. I stared at the lady who was waiting and then looked at the food suddenly feeling irritated. I contemplated if I should rob some of it, but strangely enough decided maybe next time.

"It's not fair…"I thought to myself and sadly pushed the tray towards her. Without another word I headed out and felt the rain start to pour. With no hoodie on my shirt I walked through it and wondered if I should put my cloak back on. But with it on I wouldn't be able to walk through places like this without being noticed. Just then off in the distance I saw a puff of smoke rise and the ground tremble slightly. I looked around and saw no one had even noticed. My curiosity got the best of me as I started to head towards there, wondering if there was a fight going on. But it wasn't just my curiosity that was pulling me. There was something else that was telling me I should go there, so I did. And when I finally started to see for myself what the ruckus was I nearly died from a panic attack. It was Gaara's brother fighting a ninja that looked fairly strong. He was incredibly fast, I couldn't recall the last time I saw someone with that speed. Just like before I had noticed Kankuro used puppets like Sasori, only his puppets weren't standing a chance here. The ninja used a weird fire style that I'd never seen before and just then he used some sort of fire style tornado attack heading towards Kankuro in every direction. And my instincts told me I should interfere, so I did without a second thought. Like always acting on impulse. I threw my boomerang towards him, knocking him into a tree and my weapon disappeared. I then used a grass jutsu to pull Kankuro out of the way and at this time noticed the destruction that was around. It looked like this fight had been going on for awhile and the mysterious ninja didn't even look injured in any way as to Kankuro who was panting heavily and his puppets scattered all over.

"Who are you!" Shouted the mysterious ninja who was walking towards me. What I saw next didn't seem real in the least. The man had a different style curse mark on his neck, which could only mean one thing.

"You're with Orochimaru aren't you?" I added. He stopped in his tracks and I heard Kankuro struggle to stand back up asking who I was and what was I doing. To tell the truth I didn't know myself.

"What's it to you!" He added and started charging towards me with his hand lighting up with a fire ball. The time seemed to go slow as he came towards me.

"Tell me where he is," I mumbled and right then my boomerang returned and sliced him through the back. He fell forward trying to speak, but was only coughing up blood.

"What is she?" Kankuro thought to himself and stared wide eyed at how easily his opponent was cut down.

"Why should I tell you…?" He muffled. I picked his head up by the little hair he had and asked one more time explaining it was urgent, but for only him to hear. He pointed to his headband that was around his neck and then his hand dropped. I checked and there was no longer any pulse. His headband had the sound village symbol and there was no longer any doubt in my mind.

"Sound village?" I whispered to myself and felt the side of my head begin to throb.

"Kankuro!" A girl's voice shouted. I jerked my head back and saw a familiar blonde walking towards him asking what had happened. But who I saw next caused every inch of me to go numb.


	28. Chapter 28 Awaited Reunion

"Gaara!" Kankuro called, but Gaara looked right past him and at the battle scene. I turned so my back was to them and I tried to keep calm, hoping they wouldn't notice me. Of course that was a dumb thought…The truth was I had jumped in without even thinking it all the way through! Man was that one of the stupidest things I've ever done, and now I had accidently run into Gaara again. Though I did want to find him again, but this was just not the way I wanted to go about doing it. I picked up my weapon and started to walk off slowly hoping they would just let me go, but I guess I was wrong.

"Wait!" Kankuro called. "Who are you? And why did you question that man about Orochimaru?" He added sternly. The tone in his voice sounded like he was already aggravated or maybe that was his character. But then again I had heard things about that man.

"Because I'm… After him… That's all," I took a very big breath before facing them; I slowly turned my head and made eye contact with Gaara for the first time. And something must have triggered because his eyes widened and his mouth opened slightly. Temari and Kankuro looked puzzled and without a single word I start to sprint off into the woods until a voice caused me to freeze.

"Wait!"

I stood still listening to the footsteps get closer and closer. Before I know it I turn to my side and see Gaara standing there looking at me straight in the eye. A million images race through my mind. All the way to the day I saw him supposedly die, to the day he helped me, and even the drawings I drew before I knew him. All of that guilt seemed to disappear at the moment as I stared at his calm completion. This was also the first time I had seen him in the Kazekage clothing and he did look different. He must have traveled here for some sort of village business and his two siblings were his body guards.

"Thank you," He spoke softly.

"It's a dept repaid…." I wanted to say, but instead stared at him blankly.

"You… remember me?" I muffled. Gaara nodded to my surprise and I suddenly felt relieve wash over me.

"We're having dinner soon maybe you can join us? Since Gaara seems to know you… and you helped me…" Kankuro added, but sounded a bit hesitant. By impulse I denied the request, but there was something bugging me and telling me I should since I did come here looking for food in the first place, and this way it was free. A few seconds later my stomach decided to growl. Kankuro chuckled and I felt a light blush burn on my face.

"It sure sounds like you could use some food…" Kankuro added. Something finally struck a nerve with me. The day Deidara and I were flying away with Gaara Kankuro had seen me. He looked at me dead in the eye and yet he still didn't seem to recognize me… but that didn't mean he soon wouldn't. Every minute that passes is a risky one, but… Maybe he won't recognize me. And maybe I can take this time to figure out why everything always seems to point to this red haired boy. Too many thoughts coming in at once, but I decided to go with my gut instinct and that was to hang out here a little while longer. I'm sure Tobi would understand. I don't know what the others would think if they knew who I was hanging with, but I suddenly didn't care.

"Alright, but I can't stay long…" I added and Temari led the way back towards the village. They were staying at a luxury Inn and were going to be leaving soon.

"Why does she look so familiar?" Kankuro thought to himself and found himself constantly looking at Nayumei. He decided his thoughts would have to be kept to himself for now, but it was definitely bothering him. He knew she looked familiar, but couldn't figure it out just yet.

**~::.::.::.::.:: An hour later::.::.::.::.::~**

Yes you could say the whole situation was awkward and strange. And I myself never thought in a million years I'd be sitting at a table with these people let alone right beside Gaara. But everything still didn't make sense. How was it that Gaara was even alive? No one had told me, and it would be strange if I asked such a question. I tried to eat fast to get out of there for I was feeling more and more uncomfortable by the minute. There were a few interruptions now and then, but other then that it was rather quiet. I noticed Kankuro looking at me strangely, reminding me of Yamato and how he was probably on to. I had a right to be paranoid since my assumptions of Yamato turned out to be true. I hoped that there wouldn't be a repetition of that incident today.

**...**

"Time to leave…" I told myself and tried to think of a reasonable excuse without seeming rude, but for some reason I couldn't find the nerve to leave just yet. I quickly finished my food and excused myself without another word, ignoring that feeling at the back of my mind telling me I should stay a bit. I remembered I was gone way longer than expected and knew if I didn't get back soon Pein and the others would get even more aggravated with me, if that was even possible. Hopefully Tobi would cover for my, even though I secretly despised him. I wanted the ring back, though I hid it, and every time I was around him I would find myself staring at it. But could you blame me? After all the crap the Akatsuki pulled and took away what I so rightfully earned away from me, I had a right to be pissed. It was certainly not forgotten, and let's face it, it would never be. I decided to take a breather and went outside on to the roof top to look out at the village. The moon's light was especially bright tonight and I found myself finally feeling peaceful. Of course nothing ever lasts. I heard footsteps and turned around to see Gaara walking my way. I tighten my fist at what horrible luck I have and watch as he looked towards the village too, just a few feet away from me.

"You changed your hair…" His monotone voice spoke. His voice was so smooth and I found myself staring at him still. I reached up to touch the short hair that hung around my face. I didn't really miss the pigtails anymore, for I felt my new look was a good idea. But why should that matter to him? Or was he trying to make conversation? I found a million questions rush in and I stared dumfounded over the edge. He didn't seem the type to want to star random conversations with people he barely knew, unless he was also on to me! I calmed myself down and found this to be my grand opportunity to make a new friend and we began talking. He asked me where I disappeared to when he returned to Shotetsu's house and I was gone. I was quite surprised that he didn't tell Gaara anything like I asked. I simply told him I was in a hurry like I am now. But he eyed me suspiciously. Why did he care anyways? The subject was dropped and I asked him how it was like being Kazekage. Once he began talking about how he wanted people to finally see him as someone important after being shunned his whole life, I began to feel pity for him.

"I changed myself and it's all thanks to him…" He stated. I knew right then that he was talking about Naruto again, and I remembered that I met him just recently and how high spirited he was, of course anyone would want to be his friend. But I didn't want to get too personal with Gaara for we were just strangers still and nothing more, but he was the one adding things, I didn't even have to ask. It was almost like he knew I would understand, and I listened carefully to every word he spoke. I could imagine how horrible of a life he had from being the host of the tailed beast, but things were different now that he was no longer a host. They just seemed like a bunch of hypocrites to me, how they despised him his whole life and then he became Kazekage and suddenly everyone liked him. After all Kazekage was just a title to me. I began to think of the drawing I drew and how Pein had suspicions I could be from the sand village. Maybe I knew Gaara long ago and that was just something that was blocked. Maybe …just maybe he could know something about my mother. I decided now wasn't the time to ask about that, for I still needed to hunt down Orochimaru and question him first. I couldn't remember anything to share with Gaara which was a bummer. The only memories I had were about me murdering people and destroying villages. There's no way I could share that and he would understand, there was just no way. I mean I could tell him about the short life I had in the grass village, but I felt that was of no concern to him. Besides he didn't ask, I was the one asking questions. He kept his serious blank face the whole time and only occasionally I saw a hint of a smile on his face, but it was very faint.

"You're lucky you were able to change… There are just some people in this world that can never go back," I looked down at my feet wondering how he would take that.

"Anyone can change their path, and it's easier when you have a reason," Gaara continued.

"If you knew who I was… you'd never talk to me again… you'd come after me for another reason…" I told myself and started to feel angry at myself. I turned to face him and felt a smile spread on my face. He stared at me like he could see right through me and I felt a chill crawl up my spine. "I'm sorry I couldn't help you before…" I thought to myself. There was silence now and we both just stared at the stars coming out into the sky and suddenly I remembered I had to go back before Deidara came looking for me. It would ruin everything. Just then the doors busted open and I heard Kankuro yell Gaara's name. I began to feel panic rush over me knowing something was going to happen.

"I remember who you are now! You're with the Akatsuki!" Kankuro shouted and began to walk towards us.

"Kankuro…?" Gaara spoke looking towards him first and then at me. I wasn't able to hold onto my calm composure anymore I jumped on the edge and looked at him, wanting to explain it all while I had the chance, but it was too late. The peaceful conversation was over and there would never be another.

"She was with them when they took you away Gaara! She was wearing the same clothing!" He shouted. "I won't let you get away!"

"I'm sorry…"I whispered softly before I jumped off doing a back flip. Within seconds I was in the woods again and running as fast as I could towards the base. I knew I couldn't take back anything, and now that Gaara knew the truth I would never look for him again. At least my conscious was cleared, but despite that there was a part of me that felt sad.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A few minutes later::.::.::.::.::~**

I'd figured I'd gotten far enough away, but sensed many of them following me. They were getting closer and closer, causing the panic to rise and making me slip and tumble to the ground. Heavy branches began to fall around me and I heard footsteps coming my direction.

"The curse mark is there, and you know when you need it, use it…" I listened to the voices inside my head and felt my neck begin to pulsate. "No I won't…I won't do what he wants!" I stuttered and pushed myself onto my feet, when I turned around I saw Kankuro standing there with other ninjas behind him, of course he'd mobilize as many as he wanted. They all couldn't wait to wipe off another Akatsuki member off this world.

"You're coming with us," Kankuro yelled and already had his puppets out. One came right at me and I took out my boomerang knocking it far off. The other ninjas began to throw knives at me and I used a grass jutsu to make a shield. Kankuro used another of his puppets that had a sword for a tail coming right at me and it barely scraped my arm. I felt the bandages on my left arm rip and start to fall exposing my bruised arm from the training with Kisame. Kankuro held his puppet back as he stared at it and he began to ask questions like how I knew Gaara and how I dared to come back and face them after what the Akatsuki did. Of course I didn't know how to respond and just stared into space wondering how to go about handling this delicate situation. This boy didn't seem to have the will to understand so there was no point in trying to explain. I knew I could take them out so easily and within seconds too, I'd done it so many times before that I could do it with my eyes closed, but instead I let Kankuro's puppet slam me towards a tree. I fell to the ground and tasted blood from the corner of my mouth I looked up at him as he began to walk towards me insulting me for being so weak. It went silent before it went black.

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**Thanks for the reviews and reading so far! Your questions will be answered soon :D And I do appreciate tips such as if I use a word too much cause then I can fix it!**


	29. Chapter 29 Held Captive!

I felt a cold drop of water hit the side of my face causing me to jerk up. When I took a look around, I nearly had a panic attack right then and there. I was in some sort of prisoner cell and it was poorly lit. I tried to look for others, but it looked empty, it was only I, alone in a dark space. I almost felt like I was in a void and I was going to be sucked in at any moment, but there was pure silence. The only faint sound was drops of water coming from the ceiling. The only light was a tiny crack up high on the wall away from my reach. My hands were tied so as to prevent me from trying anything, but these cuffs were meant to suppress chakra. I tried to reach for my boomerang that hung around my neck that was the size of a keychain, but that was also gone. I didn't even remember getting here, the last thing I saw was Kankuro walking towards me. But it appeared I was being held prisoner in the sand village which meant it had probably been about three days since it was so far away. The funny thing was that I let myself get captured. Why? I don't really know myself. Maybe it was to get away from the life I knew for awhile, or maybe it was because I wanted to explain myself to these people. Regardless, I knew coming here would be top notch on the stupidest things I'd ever do, and I knew there would be a good chance I wouldn't be here very long. Any other village would have killed me on site, but not these sand Shinobi, they decided to hold me prisoner, but why? I was with the highest ranked criminals; they would want someone like me dead and out of the way as soon as possible, unless Gaara intervened… Suddenly the silence broke as I heard footsteps coming from a distance and making its way towards me. I laid back down to pretend to be sleeping as it got louder and louder.

"You there!" Someone called. I laid still and the footsteps came to a halt. I heard him slide something in, causing me to open my eyes and stare at him.

"Food? I'm surprised you people would feed me…" I spoke wearily.

"Don't think we'd care for someone like you! It was a request from the Kazekage!" He shouted and disappeared into the darker area of the hall.

"Gaara…?" I spoke so only I could hear, but I stared at the food without even thinking of touching it. It was just something to look at, but I was definitely not in the mood to be eating for I suddenly realized the Akatsuki would probably come looking for me. I could be putting the sand village in danger and only for my selfish logic. I tried to stand up using the wall as support and stumbled my way towards the bars. I thought I was alone, but there was someone else nearby. And they made it known when they began to hum a song. It was a woman, whose face I could now see and their cell was only bout two down from me. I tried to kick the bars down, but let's face it; it was easier said then done. I let out moans of frustration and sat back down in a corner.

"Silly girl, you'll rot down here like I will…" The woman finally spoke. She seemed mentally unstable, but the way she said that phrase caused fear to rush through me.

"Don't talk to me!" I yelled and tried to think of another way to get out, but nothing else seemed to come to mind.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A few hours later::.::.::.::.::~**

The night must have fallen because the small amount of light that I did have, vanished. I sat in the same place for a really long time and finally my silence was broken.

"Psst! You girl! The rest of us have a plan to get out of here… you want in?" That same woman from earlier spoke. I stayed silent and she didn't try to talk to me again. I hadn't realized there were others down here for everyone stayed quiet the whole time. I was feeling dizzy and sick for not eating for three days and felt that I was weakening. The only solution I had come up with in my time of brainstorming was the curse mark. Maybe there was a chance it wouldn't be suppressed and I could escape here alone with its help. Suddenly I heard a loud explosion that made the ground rumble so hard that caused me to fly into the air and slam back down on the ground.

"What the hell!" I shouted and heard a man begin to laugh followed by several footsteps running down the hall and past my cell. I heard another explosion and this one was much closer. I walked towards the bars again to try and see what was going on, and saw that there was fire all around now and cell doors were open. I heard groans most likely from the guards, and a sound that meant they were being killed.

"Girl! Give me a sec and I'll get you out of there in no time!" The woman finally showed her face and was trying to unlock the cell door. She had short black hair and looked to be in her 30's.

"What makes you think I'd want to go anywhere with you guys. You're nothing but a bunch of scum. And the way you're trying to escape is stupid and reckless…" She looked up at me with a glare telling me that I shouldn't be talking for I was an Akatsuki and if I was down there it would obviously show how pathetic I was. I suddenly noticed that my Akatsuki cloak was on me again, but when Kankuro found me I wasn't wearing it. She began to run off and I listened to the crumbling wall around me and the blazing fire that was coming my direction. I blankly stared through the bars and waited for something to happen. "Maybe it's my time to go…" I told myself and closed my eyes pressing my cheek against the bar.

"There's no where else I'd want to die then right here…" I whispered and suddenly heard more explosions coming from the direction the others went. I'm not exactly sure how everything was set up, but most likely they'd been planning and planting paper bombs for weeks. Another explosion set off and this one was in my cell and caused me to fly to the side. I looked over at the pieces of rock everywhere and saw the giant whole in the bars. I slowly walked my way through there ignoring the fact that my leg was hurting more and more by the minute, but I hadn't felt when it was injured or at least I was so used to pain that I no longer felt the need to acknowledge it. I fell to the ground and looked around at the destruction that was caused in a matter of minutes. Then I looked down at my hands that were still handcuffed and then at my face in a puddle. I hadn't noticed that half my face was covered in blood.

"I don't want to die here!" I heard a voice within me yell. I felt my neck begin to pulsate again. The curse mark was lighting up and starting to spread on my face and neck. Within seconds my hands broke free and shattered the handcuffs. I stood myself up and looked at the direction the others went. But things were different this time, I felt that I was losing control of myself as each minute past and the mark spread all over my body. I tried to focus and make it recede, but it took all the energy I had to succeed. I panted and calmly walked down the hall thinking about when I get back how I'm going to make a big plate of curry for myself. But in the distance I saw a red figure standing still. I walked towards it almost like it was pulling me and felt myself getting tired. Before I knew it I fell over and was caught by no one other than Gaara. I stared into his eyes and wondered why he was here? And where were the guards? Why was it that I always ran into him on occasions where I was hurt…I felt my eyes close, but not before whispering his name. I told myself I'd sleep for only a little bit and then it went silent.

"Her chakra is similar to Uchiha's …." Gaara thought to himself and looked down at the sleeping Nayumei whose head was resting on his shoulder.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A few hours later::.::.::.::.::~**

I woke up and looked around cautiously. I was in a hospital room, and there was no one around. I pushed back the covers and walked towards the window looking out towards the village for what seemed like the first time. The first time I was here I had gotten a different prospective, but this was the first time I noticed how beautiful, yet plain it was here. How comforting of a place it seemed, but yet so far away from where I belonged. I heard the door open and knocked over a vase of flowers by accident as I turned to see Gaara walk in. He closed the door behind him and stared at me blankly.

"I need to get out of here." I broke the silence, but he didn't change that serious expression of his.

"You could have escaped with the others, but you decided to stay behind, why?" He asked. His questions always seemed to puzzle me and I stared with my mouth slightly open.

"Why am I in here? I thought I was a prisoner!" I shouted, trying desperately to change the subject.

"If you think you're free, you're mistaken," He spoke sternly.

"I… don't understand…." I turned back around to stare out the window.

"Nayumei," Gaara spoke. It had been the first time I had heard my name come out of his mouth and it sent cold chills all down my back. "You don't seem like you belong with the Akatsuki….you seem much different. So why are you with them?" Gaara questioned.

"You don't know anything about me!" I snapped. "Besides…. I can't change who I am now! I'm past the point of no return….There's only one way out of it… and I'd have to die to do it. Besides…I'm content."

"I don't believe you," He blankly stated. I felt my face expression go sour as I turned to face him.

"What makes you think you even know me…?" I stuttered.

"Because you're just the way I was… But it's never too late to become someone better. And I see it in your eyes. That you feel alone… I felt alone too, but I found a reason for living. My friends and the people of this village. All my life I just wanted to be accepted and it paid off. That's what you're looking for as well… acceptance."

"You're wrong about me Gaara, "I scolded. Just then there was a knock at the door. Gaara went outside and said he would return. I looked at the table and grabbed my things. With my boomerang I smashed the window open and jumped down to the ground. I walked by crowds of villagers and started to sprint towards the exit of this place. I stopped for a moment to look at the streets and for some reason a house looked so familiar. I felt the side of my head begin to ache and looked around for any Shinobi already on my tail. All I found was a strange woman who stood a few feet away. She also looked familiar and was carrying a basket of things that quickly fell to the floor. I stared into her brown eyes before turning around to look one more time if I was being followed. When I turned forward she was gone and so was the basket and all the items she dropped. It was only a second and it was quite impossible to be able to disappear like that. Regardless, I began to run again and used my vine wrapping jutsu to handle the guards. When I reached the outside I took one last look wondering how I got away so easily. Could it be that Gaara had told the others I died with the other prisoners? Did he really cover for me? Why the hell would he allow me to go anywhere? There was apart of me telling me to go back and I could start over here, but I didn't listen and continued to run off.

**…...**

I finally reached the village that was closest to the base. I wondered how the others would act when I'd come back finally after missing for half a week. But after going through this I felt even more confused than before.

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**Oh I know lots of questions :P what will happen? **

**I was listening to Into your arms by the maine and it helped set the mood :D Anyways thanks for the reviews!**


	30. Chapter 30 Mixed Emotions

It's been about two weeks since the Gaara and sand village incident. I dream about the incident almost every night and it's aggravating. None the less I plan to go to the sound village soon and hunt down Orochimaru myself. But for right now we're waiting for Hidan and Kakuzu to return with the two tailed beast and shortly after Deidara and Tobi are going for the three tailed. I trained with Kisame some more, but he too had to go off who knows where. In fact this was the perfect timing to go look for Orochimaru again. Not exactly sure what exactly I was to say once I'd reach him, but it was worth a try. I always seem to lose my cool in such sticky situations.

_**"Because you're just the way I was… But it's never too late to become someone better. And I see it in your eyes. That you feel alone… I felt alone too, but I found a reason for living. My friends and the people of this village. All my life I just wanted to be accepted and it paid off. That's what you're looking for as well… acceptance."**_

"You're wrong Gaara…" I thought to myself, thinking of his words. I stuffed my things into my bag and prepared for another journey. Luckily there was no one in the base but me this time. Zetsu had special missions that he did alone and since no one trusted me I basically did really simple tasks or layed around waiting for another easy assignment. The sound village wouldn't take long to travel too as long as I started before night fall. I began to journey off, but suddenly noticed my sketch book resting on my bed. I flipped it open and stared at the drawing of what I thought could be my mother and realized it wasn't the same women I saw in the sand who dropped her things when she saw me. Apart of me kind of wished it was so I could start to unlock the secrets Orochimaru was hiding from me, but there was only one thing left to do.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A few days later::.::.::.::.::~**

I realized I had wasted my time. When I arrived there, I only ran into Kabuto who said I shouldn't be looking for Orochimaru when the Akatsuki could follow me. But I simply didn't care. Kabuto then told me that the jutsu would be released as long as I promised never to come back again. He briefly explained the reason they blocked my memories in the first place was so I would come back one day and Orochimaru could see if I had improved at all, but when he saw I was just a disappointment he decided the experiment was done with. And he no longer wanted anything to do with me. Kabuto then told me that only way I would be able to receive them, is if I triggered them, and like an avalanche they'd come flowing in. He said I would be overwhelmed and that it'll make me vulnerable. Whatever he meant by that I don't care.

After awhile I returned to the base only to find out that Zetsu had brought back the two tailed beast for Hidan and Kakuzu, while they stayed to fight for awhile, but they were also back now. On top of that Deidara and Tobi had brought back the three tailed and they would all be busy with the extractions. I walked towards Deidara's room knocking on the door. He opened it seconds later looking ready to head out and was surprised to see me. Well of course since it's been awhile since I stopped by.

"Nay! Seems like forever, un…" He spoke like he was a bit nervous but a bit cocky at the same time. I stared at the ground and he scratched the back of his head. It seemed like just yesterday I would get nervous being around him, but now it was like being around a stranger.

"Everyone is ready to start, but you're the only one not in there, so hurry up!" I scolded and crossed my arms.

"Hm… Yeah, yeah, un," He sighed and closed the door behind him. I walked along by his side as he began to tell me how the mission went with Tobi and how it took painfully longer than it would have taken with Sasori. At least Deidara was able to be apart of the extraction process. He then asked if I wanted to come and watch, but I had the urge to go outside. He patted my head before walking in, and I heard Hidan scold him for taking so damn long.

As they began the extraction of the two tailed cat beast I walked outside to listen to the birds chirping. Boring it may seem, it was nice to have some fresh air and peace and quiet so I can gather my thoughts and figure out what exactly I'm going to do now. Now that I could remember everything at any moment I was anxious and getting tired of waiting. And as for what Gaara had to say, believe me I really would like it if I got to leave behind the Akatsuki and try and live a normal life, but why was he offering? Why did he care so much about what I did and who I was with? Why should it be of any concern to him? Unless he was trying desperately to be like Naruto in almost every way, which meant "saving" people like he was saved.

**"Don't worry! I won't rest till you have that envelope back in your hands!" -Naruto**

"**But you barely know me…"**

**"I'll help anyone who needs my help!"- Naruto**

"Even though I don't want to admit it I want to be like him as well," I spoke lowly so only I could hear. But it was true. There was something special about Naruto that made others want to be around him, though he did seem annoying. Well even if I did want to change there's no way anyone would accept me. After Naruto seeing who I was with and the thing that slipped out of my mouth, there's no way he'd listen to me talk ever again. And his sensei would definitely not let me anywhere near him. It was just a far away dream that I could never reach.

A few more days past, and the others completed extracting the two tailed beast. But with no time to spare they began immediately on the three tailed beast. Apparently Hidan had mentioned that he already found another Jinchuuricki and as soon as they'd finish here he'd go off to find him again. I couldn't think of any of the ones left so I didn't really spend any time thinking or worrying about it. Instead I took this time to learn how to cook! Since no one was occupying the kitchen and such, I tried to make several dishes. I managed not to burn every single dish which was an accomplishment if you ask me. But soon enough they finished extracting the last one. I sat in the kitchen eating a chocolate cake until Zetsu walked in to see me.

"Pein wants to see you," His black side spoke. I dropped my fork and walked after him and he led me all the way to the room where the extraction was being held.

"Alright now that everyone is here…. As you know our goal is world domination. To achieve that goal, I've set up a three-step process to work our way to it. First, we plan to obtain a large amount of money to support this organization. Second, to set up a mercenary group loyal to no village," Pein clarified. He then continued with the reason being, since there hadn't been any wars in some time, we could convince the smaller countries to hire them over the larger asking prices of the five main villages. By using the tailed beasts, we could start wars and then immediately quell them, convincing every country to depend on us and monopolizing the Shinobi market. Finally, after we were the only major force of Shinobi in existence, we could easily conquer the world. It seemed like a smart plan really, but I was the least interested. The others discussed among themselves.

Pein continued with letting others know what they will have to be in charge of. This meant I'd have to go robbing and possibly killing. I felt myself get queasy and simply stared into space as Pein continued with minor details. Suddenly Hidan asked if him and Kakuzu could go back. I watched as Pein told them to hurry it up and then the two disappeared. Deidara placed his hand on my shoulder as Pein dismissed us. Well at least they trusted me again to be involved with their plans. But I was supposed to do a mission with Zetsu, but found that he had disappeared. When I asked around, no one else knew where he was and before I knew it, it was just Tobi, Deidara and I.

"Tobi hungry, Time to make sandwich!" Tobi shrieked and walked off towards the kitchen area. Just then I remembered the whole prank situation with Tobi and how he vowed to get vengeance, but nothing really extreme ever happened. I also can't believe when I think back that we actually tried to get along and ate together. All those things seemed so far away, almost like another life. I watch as Deidara walks off towards his room saying he needs to work on some new master piece he was creating. I went to my own room and jumped on the bed remembering all the funny times Deidara and I had, like when I first got here and how he said I would have to sleep outside. Or when he first took me on his bird thing. I found it hard to believe that Deidara used to act like that towards me and now he treated me almost like everyone else. In fact we barely even talked. All of that just faded away. I looked down at my sketch pad and held it to my chest staring at the picture of the boy that looked like Gaara. I took a really long nap with the sketchbook never leaving my side.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A few days later::.::.::.::.::~**

"It appears the two couldn't fulfill their new mission," Zetsu spoke creepily entering the headquarters that Pein was in.

"Both of them I see?" Pein replied and told Zetsu to go for Nayumei. Zetsu hesitated, but decided things would be more interesting this way. So he decided to look for her.

**...**

I heard a knock at my door causing me to nearly fall off the bed. My sketch book fell onto the floor and I rubbed my head as I slid attempted to slide off the bed. Only problem was that my covers had managed to get tangled around my legs and caused me to hit the ground chin first. I sat up and slammed my fist into the floor and heard another knocking followed by Zetsu's voice telling me to hurry up, and found Zetsu outside my door, staring at me blankly.

"What is it?" I yawned and stretched staring at him half asleep. He told me that Pein needed to see me immediately and that it was urgent. With no time to spare I grabbed my cloak and followed after Zetsu. When we reached the room, I noticed Konan was standing by Pein, but no one else was around except Zetsu.

"What's going on?" I questioned and looked around the room one more time, thinking if it was another surprise meeting. Though I shouldn't have anything to worry about since they didn't really have anything to take away from me.

"Hidan and Kakuzu are dead."

I froze and stared blankly at Zetsu who was standing just a few feet away. Apparently they were headed towards the leaf village. Why? I didn't know myself, but that could only mean that they were going after Naruto next since they were headed that direction. Zetsu then added Kakuzu fought against the Jinchuuricki himself, but Hidan to a normal Shinobi. He commented that they both failed and that Hidan was buried deep beneath the ground where no one could find him, and concluded that he was only able to get Kakuzu's ring. But how could they have been defeated? After Hidan was just starting to grow on me and now he was to never return. As for Kakuzu, the money obsessed one was no one, but a nuisance. I stared wide eyed at Pein as he told me that they had no one else and now they were short two members. He threw me the ring and told me it was to go on my left middle finger and that this time around there was no room for mistakes. I did as he obeyed and stared down at my hand speechless. I had a ring once again and that only meant that I would not be able to leave even if I wanted to now. I was going to have to fulfill the member's duties again. That meant more missions, more dangerous tasks and not only that, but that meant that I would have to go after the remaining tailed beasts. One of them being Naruto.


	31. Chapter 31 Bring in the Money

"Stop her!"

I threw my boomerang around again hearing the sound of the impact my boomerang made with all the men and them letting out screams of agony. The sound made me sick now and the more I thought about it the more I needed to finish this task faster. I knocked out some more guards and headed to the head shrine where they supposedly had a hidden chest full of money. My boomerang found its way back into my hand and I created a wall around the shrine using an earth style technique. I kicked down the door and found an old monk sitting by a desk holding onto a knife. He was waiting for me to arrive.

"There's no way I'll let you get away alive," He shouted. I couldn't let my emotions interfere. If I didn't think about it, then I wouldn't hesitate. I looked away as I tossed my weapon causing him to slam into the wall and making him cough out a massive amount of blood. He fell on his face and groaned trying to position himself into a standing position.

"I located the chest…." I reported into a walkie talkie type thing that was attached to my ear. On the other end was Zetsu who told me to hurry up and destroy all the evidence. I began to place paper bombs on every wall and looked over at the monk who was struggling to stand for the boomerang always left devastating blows.

"Please… please don't hurt the others…." He agonized and reached his hand out towards me. "Please…" He coughed. He was about to die and all he cared about were the other people he had here. I made some shadow clones to carry the chest and without another moment to spare grabbed the monk and swung his arm around my shoulders and ran back out the shrine through the back entrance. Seconds later the shrine exploded and I used a grass style shield to deflect the pieces of wood flying everywhere. Once I was far enough I laid the monk on the ground and noticed his expression read surprise and fear. "Why?" He asked.

"Hurry up Nayumei!" Zetsu ordered angrily into my ear piece. Though he was far away it sounded like he was standing right beside me. I simply ignored the monk who watched as my clones and I ran off into the woods and towards Zetsu.

"Mission complete," I replied and looked back at the burning village.

**~::.::.::.::.:: Meanwhile::.::.::.::.::~**

"It appears the Akatsuki have begun to steal from temples and villages all over," Lady Tsunade angrily told Naruto and his team. Naruto stared blankly out the window imagining his last encounter with Hidan and Kakuzu.

"You're new mission is to escort a man that came to us and needs our assistance with cleaning up things at his village."

"Aw man a cleaning mission… you gotta be kidding me…" Naruto whined and Sakura was forced to hit his face.

"You have to take it easy Naruto! When you get back you can continue your training, it shouldn't take long anyways, and besides the Akatsuki could have something to do with the where abouts of Sasuke." Without another word Naruto and his team headed out on what would be a simple mission. They met up with the same monk that Nayumei had saved and headed off to his tiny village not far from the leaf. When they made it there, they were shocked at the destruction, but luckily no one was killed, just a lot of injuries.

"They did all this for a chest!" Naruto exclaimed getting furious. He hated the Akatsuki ever since the Gaara incident and the fact that they would soon be coming after him.

"It was just one. A very young looking girl…." The old man spoke gently.

"What! It couldn't have been…." Naruto gasped and thought back to the whole envelope incident. He thought Nayumei was nice and could even be a potential friend like the others, but when he found out she was involved with the Gaara taking and how she was part of that very group he hated, he didn't know what to think. The only thing was that he felt she didn't belong with them for she would have tried to capture him when she had the chance. And she did have lots of opportunities but instead didn't do anything out of the ordinary.

"But what I don't understand is why she didn't kill anyone… and she helped me get out of the shrine before it went down in flames…." The monk continued.

"She did that?" Naruto questioned and stared up at the sky as a blue bird flew by.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A few days later::.::.::.::.::~**

I took another look a beautiful waterfall that was nearby. The Akatsuki scattered, and it's been awhile since we all got together. When I first joined I remembered them saying it been years since they'd came together again. Maybe it was because of all the increase in our activity. None the less I've been cooperating and we've managed to be getting a massive flow of money coming in. I barely talk to anyone except Zetsu who has become my partner in crime. I take orders from him, but he takes them from me sometimes as well. Yes you could say things were going ok. But it seemed when I was alone and it was quiet that was when I was the most calm. I looked up at the sky and noticed a blue bird fly by. I felt a smile spread across my face as I thought back to the envelope incident. The only good thing about all our recent activity is that I was suddenly so busy that I didn't have to think about other things. My memories still haven't fully come back yet. Though I've had strange dreams about being in the sand village and holding onto a toy squirrel. Nothing major seemed to be clarified yet, but I had other things to worry about. Like how I had to keep stealing and only occasionally killing.

"One day my life will get better," I kept telling myself and off I went into another village. This time I was in my regular clothes and no Akatsuki robe. Zetsu wouldn't accompany me in this one so I was glad that I didn't have to rush it. The new village was rather big and to any other regular ninja a suicide mission, but not for me. I turned the corner walking past a fruit stand and smacked into someone making me fall back onto my elbows. When I looked up I saw a girl that looked just a bit older than me and had light brown hair tied in a pony tail. Her look was rather average and she apologized for not looking both ways. I noticed the scattered groceries on the floor and decided to help her pick them up. She then asked if I was willing to help her carry them to her house.

"Oh…Uh….Sure…." I agreed, but it didn't seem like I really had a choice for she seemed really trusting. I followed her to her house and helped her bring the things inside. I noticed a picture of her and a man with black hair. Both smiling widely.

"Oh yeah… that's my husband…" She said almost like she read my mind when I was wondering who that was. "You know he almost died…. But I interfered…. And now we're happily married." She said that like she sounded a bit guilty and then started to put things away, she mentioned her name was Aihiko and that her husband was currently on a mission.

"You interfered in his fight?" I questioned.

"Well….Love makes you do stupid things….But I wasn't just going to sit there and let him die."

"**Well…. Love makes you do stupid things."**

Her words seemed to echo and just hang there in the air. She started asking questions like how long I lived here and such, and when I told her I wasn't from here she didn't really seem taken back by it. She commented that it was a nice place to live and that I should visit more often. She also said that the people here were incredibly friendly and that it was a great atmosphere. The more she talked the more I felt bad that I was assigned to burn it down. Maybe I could weasel my way out and just get away with stealing the money and not having to injure anyone, but that was just a silly thought. She complimented me on how pretty I was, which made me curious and I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I didn't see pretty, I just saw a monster.

"Love…Hm….How'd you guys meet?" I added. She looked up at me and smiled.

"It was love at first sight!" She shrieked like she was the happiest person alive. I felt my mouth open wide as the words she spoke seemed so familiar. She had given me a glass of water and started to cook something.

**"It was love at first sight. One day we got put into a mission together and acted like we'd rather be beaten or something of the sort… Unfortunately I got injured very badly and looked as if I was about to die, but then he came to my side and begged me to live for him and I did. And well…you know the rest Nay!"**

The voices began again inside my head. No I was not crazy… It was just merely someone quoting something, but that voice seemed to make my heart ache and even my head. I felt an insane pain start to shoot through the right side of my head and I dropped my glass as I let out a gasp and stumbled over the table. It always seemed to get worse and worse when something like this would happened, but I figured since Kabuto had released the jutsu or whatever it was, that the headaches would stop, but I was wrong.

"Are you ok! Should I call for help?" Aihiko panicked but I told her it was fine and stumbled out of her apartment. Before I knew it I had jumped down and started sprinting towards the house that supposedly had a save full of big cash. By this time, it had gotten dark outside and it was the perfect time to get in; though the dark also meant more guards. The headache began to fade and I jumped in through a window looking around cautiously.

"Who are you!" Someone shouted. I kicked him in the face and sent him to the wall and entered the hallway looking around quietly. Zetsu had told me that the room that was most hidden would most likely have it inside a wall somewhere. So I knocked out some more guards and found my way towards the smallest room and smashed my fist into the wall. I located the safe and used my clones again to help me lift it. When the coast was cleared I sneaked out and headed off towards the head quarters where I was to meet Zetsu. I had completed my duty, but couldn't stop thinking of my conversation with Aihiko. I felt bad that I didn't get to say goodbye properly, but also I was worried how Zetsu would take it when he found out I didn't burn the village down to ashes. The purpose was so no one would be able to come after us and I knew that was a bad on my part, but I was hoping they wouldn't notice it right away. Besides the ones that spotted me would have thought I was just a regular thief for I wasn't wearing the Akatsuki clothing.

"Leave it here…"Zetsu spoke and came out from the shadows. My clones dropped the save and disappeared. "Well done Nayumei."

"What else is there to do now? Are we supposed to meet up with the others?"I questioned, but Zetsu was examining the safe. He opened it and found the pile of money.

"Deidara was looking for you. You should head to the hideout near the cloud village and you'll find him…." Zetsu began. He soon disappeared with the safe and I towards the place he suggested.

**…...**

Finally I had made it and saw Tobi was just coming back from somewhere as well. Things seemed more different without Hidan and his remarks. You could say I was kind of missing it, but the fact was that as this so called plan was progressing we were losing more and more of our members. I knew that one day my life would come to end as well, and to tell the truth I was kind of looking forward to it. Maybe it was the only way to be freed. But on top of that I was starting to think that voice I heard earlier was my mother. And that in fact gave me a headache. But I finally remembered her soft face telling me the story. I ran into Deidara who looked surprised to see me.

"I heard about all that cash you're brining in! Keep up the good work, un…" He chuckled and patted me on the shoulder.

"Deidara… tell me something…" I muffled and he gave me his full attention. "What was it that we had before? No wait… Never mind…" I coughed.

"Hmm? What are you talking about?" He asked and sounded like it was one of the stupidest questions I'd ever ask. He made me feel even more stupid then I already felt and for that I slapped the back of his head. He hugged me which only felt awkward. As I tried to push him off I saw an image of Gaara standing behind him and pushed him harshly enough to slam his head into the wall and cause it to crack. Backing away, I told him that it was best not to get attached anymore for we both knew that it wasn't anything. I also told him that he was an immature guy who would never grow up, and that I was never his pet. He just rolled his eyes and laughed as I started to walk down the hallway and bumping into Itachi. The scare made me nearly trip on my own feet, but he caught me with one hand. I thanked Itachi and noticed Deidara watching with anger and disgust. I had almost forgotten how much he hated the Uchiha name.


	32. Chapter 32 A Failed Escape

After what was said to Deidara, I was sure that I no longer wished to be here. I had no reason. In fact I had decided that I was to look for Gaara and see how he could help me. I made several clones to help tract him down after I found out he was currently not in the sand village. It took awhile, but I finally got word that he was near the land of tea. So I traveled without telling anyone and with all my things packed in one bag. It was a decision I made on impulse because I was so angry at Deidara that I didn't even think this through. I had been so frustrated for the longest time and everything was pointing to this. My dreams, my memories, I had to go. But what if Gaara didn't accept me? What if the sand village didn't want me? What if they tried to kill me! What if….what if…. I kept asking myself these questions over and over, but the only way to settle it was to find out on my own. It was nearly morning, I had been traveling all night without sleep, but I wouldn't be able to anyways, knowing that someone would follow me. And not sense I figured out I once lived in the sand village with my mother, so obviously I wouldn't be able to sleep with a lot of thinking going on.. In fact this was what helped me with my decision to leave and I knew that I shouldn't turn back. There was a better life out there and I was going to find it. I didn't care what cost, but I knew that I needed to discover the mystery with my mother. If I was from the sand village then how come I left? I closed my eyes and thought back to my conversation with Gaara.

**...**

_**"You could have escaped with the others, but you decided to stay behind, why?" Gaara had asked.**_

_**"Why am I in here? I thought I was a prisoner!" I shouted, trying desperately to change the subject.**_

_**"If you think you're free, you're mistaken," He spoke sternly.**_

_**"I… don't understand…." **_

_**"Nayumei," Gaara spoke. "You don't seem like you belong with the Akatsuki….you seem much different. So why are you with them?" Gaara questioned.**_

_**"You don't know anything about me!" I snapped. "Besides…. I can't change who I am now! I'm past the point of no return….There's only one way out of it… and I'd have to die to do it. Besides…I'm content."**_

_**"I don't believe you," He blankly stated**_

_**"What makes you think you even know me…?" I stuttered**__**.**_

_**"Because you're just the way I was… But it's never too late to become someone better. And I see it in your eyes. That you feel alone… I felt alone too, but I found a reason for living. My friends and the people of this village. All my life I just wanted to be accepted and it paid off. That's what you're looking for as well… acceptance."**_

_**...**_

"Maybe you were right about me after all, Gaara…." I whispered softly and just then I took too big of a step and missed a tree branch. I fell to the ground and landed on my behind. Luckily no one was around so I was able to take this opportunity to rest. I noticed a chubby, furry looking squirrel watching me; in fact it had been following me for awhile. Why? I didn't really know…but it was adorable looking. I called to it and it listened and came up to my hand. I laid down for what was only suppose to be a minute and ended up drifting to sleep.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A few hours later ::.::.::.::.::~**

"Ah, looks like I finally found you, un….!" I heard a voice shout that made me shoot up and onto my feet with a knife in hand. I looked up and with surprise found Deidara standing on his clay bird. I looked for that squirrel and saw it run into the woods, but I had to focus all my attention on what was happening. How is it that he found me so quickly?

"Deidara…." I said under my breath.

"You think it's that easy to just leave, un?" He smirked and placed his hand on his hip. "Quit fooling yourself! What are you doing out here anyways?"

"Leave me alone!" I shouted and threw my boomerang towards him. He stared wide eyed and with his mouth open but dodged it right on time. He couldn't believe it, but I could. I was holding that in for awhile. Maybe I never liked him; I mean who was I kidding falling for a guy like him?

"Nay…." He spoke like he was hurt and then smiled. "So I see… Does this mean you're no longer on my side, hm?" He reached into his pocket and threw down several exploding clay insects. "I don't understand! I thought we really could have had something special!" Deidara shouted like this was all just a big comedy show to him. He was probably planning on just messing around and not really fighting me, but that's not how I was going to let it go down. He never cared and he never would, it was obvious now and boy was it aggravating. Maybe they all just mocked me behind my back… this was all just one big joke and I was the center of it.

"People change Deidara… and sometimes it's not a good change!" I shouted from behind him. He turned around and I kicked him in the face sending him off and into the air. I then used a vine jutsu to wrap around him and without another moment to spare crushed him in side. I stood on the clay bird and looked down to scan the area. Suddenly a hand grabbed me from underneath and I looked down to see Deidara coming out of his clay bird with a knife in hand.

"It's not going to be that easy…Nayumei…" He tightened his grip on my ankle and I felt a sharp pain in my calf before kicking him in the face and jumping down. As soon as I landed the pain increased tremendously and I looked down at my bleeding calf. Deidara looked down at me with a blank expression. It almost didn't seem real. It seemed like just yesterday we hung out and made jokes and went on missions together. And when we teased each other and those missions with Sasori. I looked down at my leg and noticed the big pool of blood that was forming.

"You basterd!" I shouted and clenched my teeth. He threw more of his clay bombs and I jumped up into the trees. I wrapped bandages around my wound and scanned the sky to see where he had gone off to. Suddenly the tree I was on began to fall forward and I landed back on the ground falling on my back.

"Earth style, earth burial!" I shouted and soon the ground began to shake. I placed a seed in the ground and infused it with chakra, the seed burst open and a group of roots quickly began to make way towards him, springing from the ground. They wrapped around his legs and arms and slammed him to the ground. Seconds later he began to go under ground and yelled out my name, but then stopped and smiled. I jump away, but end up being caught in a blast that came out of nowhere and fly several feet in the air and then onto the ground. Without any chance to get back up I see Deidara hover over me on his bird again and he lectures about being loyal to your friends. He readies for another attack and looks down at me like he's hesitating. I was too focused on him that I hadn't noticed some of his insects crawl on my limbs. With no time to even react I felt the horrible pain come from my legs and screamed out in pain. Followed by him calling for my attention. I looked up into his blue eyes and watched as he put his new creation away.

"Are you done now?" Deidara asked and began to come down towards me. But suddenly I saw sand come out of nowhere and going towards him. Deidara flew back up high and I forced myself into a sitting position. Gaara walks out and towards me staring intensely at Deidara.

"You again!" Deidara snaps.

"Gaara…?" I stuttered in disbelief and wipe the blood coming from my mouth. Everything was so unreal that I was quite certain that I was in a dream. Maybe I was lying in a ditch somewhere?

"You're injured…" Gaara speaks with a monotone voice and keeps his serious expression as he looks down at me. I looked down at the blood that was splattered and felt vomit coming up.

"I… Uh…"

"This doesn't concern you….!" Deidara shouts. "But I'll show you… what happens when you interfere!" While I sat there I noticed clay bombs crawling towards Gaara, but what I failed to put together was that he was about to use a dangerous jutsu. Gaara hadn't noticed and when I saw Deidara begin to use hand signs I forced myself to stand up and ran towards him pushing him out of the way and receiving the blow myself.

"Nay!" Deidara shouted. I fell back and felt an arm wrap itself under my waist as my head tilted back. By the look on Deidara's face I knew that Pein was calling him back telepathically. Deidara glared at Gaara who was holding me with my arm around his shoulder.

"Why did she help him? How do they even know each other….More importantly…why is he helping her?" Deidara thought to himself and watched as Gaara spoke quietly to her. "So I see….Why else would she jump in like that…"Deidara saw the way they looked at each other and smirked.

"You always come out of nowhere…." I coughed up more blood and tried to look at Gaara in the eyes, but every time I did it just felt even more of a dream. How was it that he found me so quickly and came to my aid once again? Could it have been that he heard the explosions and sensed my chakra? That must have been it….I was very close to the spot the clones had told me about so maybe I was closer than I thought?

"I followed him…." Gaara finally spoke. I looked down by his feet and saw the same squirrel from before.

"Wait, he followed a squirrel?" I thought to myself and felt a slight smile spread across my face.

"I'm afraid that she's coming with me!" Deidara shouted and threw more of his bombs. Gaara and I jumped out of the way and this is when I began to panic. Just what was I doing? I really didn't think this through at all….This wasn't the time to be running off following some stupid idea and hoping it would work out like in fairytales. I forced myself to stand and slightly pushed Gaara who was surprised. "Nay!" Deidara called one more time. I stared up at him and heard him talk into an ear piece. Wait where was Tobi? Deidara looked down at me one more time before flying off. I looked down at the squirrel and then at Gaara who was standing with his arms crossed and watching Deidara fly away.

"You're not gonna go after him?" I mumbled. Gaara shook his head and told me that I needed to get help. The pain was worse than child birth, not that I knew how that felt, but I had heard many awful things. I was sure that me legs were horribly shredded, but I maintained my standing position trying as hard as I could to withstand the pain I was in.

"No!" I snapped. I surprised him and even myself. One of Gaara's siblings called which grabbed his attention. I took this opportunity and disappeared off into the opposite direction Deidara went, and away from Gaara and his siblings. It wasn't time yet….I still had some things to deal with. How could I plan a future when the Akatsuki were still around? I would have to wait a little longer, and who knows maybe even finish them off myself.

**...**

Finally collapsing from my injuries I laid and stared at the sky. The same squirrel from before came up to my face and tilted its head.

"Where'd you even come from?" I felt myself whisper. My peace of mind was soon ruined when I heard footsteps. I looked up and saw Zetsu standing there.

"Just what are you doing, Nayumei!" Zetsu scolded me.

"I honestly don't know myself…." I replied and sat back up.

"We have a new mission so hurry up and come with me!" He ordered and turned back around. I stood up, ignoring the agonizing feeling that I felt. If my legs could talk, they'd scream and cuss at me. I stuffed the furry animal in my cloak and followed after Zetsu one more time before looking back.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A few days later ::.::.::.::.::~**

Yes, it was safe to say I was definitely confused! I just realized it wasn't time to leave the Akatsuki just yet, but I was definitely starting to lean towards the idea. I looked at my recent drawings and was starting to remember how my mother looked like, now it was just time to look for her. I kept that squirrel; I don't know maybe it was just a companion? But I couldn't abandon it either, besides it wanted to stay with me. Deidara and I hadn't spoken since our fight and I wasn't planning on it either. I despised him more than anything now. But maybe it would be easier to get away if I had some friends. I forced myself off the bed and still felt pain in my legs. Konan had managed to get a medical ninja here and heal my wounds and had even given me pills for the pain. I walked towards Deidara's room and knocked several times before discovering he was gone.

"He went off…." Itachi's voice filled the hallway. I turned to face him and questioned where, but he wouldn't answer me. I suddenly felt a really bad feeling wash through me and I knew I needed to know, where did Deidara go?


	33. Chapter 33 Unplanned Goodbye

It turned out that feeling was a false alarm, thank goodness. Deidara and Tobi were somewhere far off in another village, but nothing had happened. Itachi and Kisame had captured the four tailed and it was getting closer to the time to seal it. This would be my first time to actually be involved in the sealing process and though I had spent some time learning how to be involved I felt I wasn't quite ready. After all the others had been doing it for so long now and I had many worries and things on my mind that could easily distract me. The remaining Akatsuki members met in a hideout using holograms. I was the last to arrive.

"As you know, Hidan and Kakuzu are dead. And now Orochimaru is dead," Pein began. I remained speechless and noticed Itachi was looking bothered. How was it that Orochimaru was beaten? Maybe he wasn't as strong as I thought he was… But then again that means that I'm freed, right? I was starting to remember the days that I did spend with him, though not all of them. I would train for hours trying to control it, but ended up killing people. He even had me destroy villages when I was still only a kid and thus scarring me for life. I had begun to hate him, but I was also thankful that I was able to remember things again. Though not grateful of the bad images, but the good ones. I still didn't understand why they let off so easily and without even completing my side of the deal. Maybe some other things were going on and they didn't have the time to be dealing my non sense. Since after all they thought of me as the failed experiment. No one in the Akatsuki knew that I had met with Orochimaru several times before and I had hoped to keep it that way. They would think I had become a spy and would handle it right on the spot. The last thing I needed right now was to dig my hole deeper than it already was.

"Orochimaru is dead?" Kisame added in. Tobi and Deidara began to argue among themselves with Kisame laughing. Pein sighed getting irritated with them and then Kisame asked who had killed Orochimaru. I had pictured a very big buff man with a giant sword in hand, but that was just my imagination going wild.

"It was Sasuke Uchiha." The room went silent and I noticed Deidara's eyes fixated on Itachi who looked bothered by the name. "It appears Sasuke has formed a new team, and could potentially disrupt our plans. You must be careful, especially you Itachi and Kisame…." Pein was maintaining his seriousness, but you could tell he was aggravated by the new nuisance. Deidara questioned about the team members that were with this Sasuke person. I was beginning to space out as they continued to talk among themselves, and was only brought back when I heard them mention that since Sasuke was around, Naruto and other ninjas from the leaf would come in pursuit of him.

"Sasuke, who is that? Why would they be after him?" I thought to myself. I never heard of him before, but I knew he was somehow related to Itachi for his expression was definitely making it obvious. Plus, they had the same last name. He always maintained his seriousness, but he also looked like he was waiting for something. But if he was related to Itachi then why was he considered an enemy? I was suddenly feeling angry for I was left out of another loop. I mean, how many loops were there? Pein than told me as soon as the beast would be sealed that I would have to keep a low profile. Soon Itachi disappeared and we were to meet at a different location. Though not in person since we were all scattered. I was sitting in a tree with my squirrel before I appeared again using a hologram. Kisame and Itachi were the only ones there in person and threw down the Jinchuuriki they had captured. The statue and hands were already summoned and I took my place in Kakuzu's spot. Since we were short members it would be more tiring, but it had to be done.

"Let's begin," Pein ordered.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A while later::.::.::.::.::~**

The sealing was complete. The host's body lay still on the cold ground and the last of the eyes on the statue were opened. Deidara and Tobi began to debate whether to go after Naruto's team or go after this Sasuke person. I was getting uneasy hoping they would chose to go after Sasuke instead, but of course couldn't say anything. What would they do if they knew that I wanted to protect them, over the Akatsuki? After a bit of bickering and with Kisame butting in they decided to go after either one and whom ever they found first, they'd deal with. I watched as their holograms quickly disappeared and Kisame calling Deidara an idiot for rushing in blindly. It was true though, he always liked to rush into things without thinking it through, but then again I was like that as well. I thought back to the Gaara incident just so recently and was quite embarrassed at how I ran off after working hard to find him in the first place. I hadn't even asked him what I went there to ask him about and now it was too late. He was probably back in the sand village doing Kazekage work with his heavily guarded home.

I felt that bad feeling come again and knew something wasn't right and I knew it had to do with Deidara and Tobi. A part of me wanted to go with them, but I knew I needed to continue my search else where on the remaining Jinchuuricki. I disappeared next and opened my eyes to the same spot I was earlier. The squirrel was sleeping on my lap. I stuffed it into my cloak and began to set off. Tobi and Deidara would attack Naruto and his team if they encountered so I needed to make sure they didn't find them, but in order for that to happen I would need to meet Naruto and them first. Well at least that was the plan, until I found out there were other ninjas with them. I had sent some clones to scan the area and had come to that sad conclusion. It would be too risky for an Akatsuki to face him, especially since that Yamato guy was with him. There's no way they'd give me a chance to even talk.

"Well I guess we could go get something to eat. Eh?" I spoke softly as the squirrel popped out of my sleeve and scurried all the way to my shoulder. I removed my cloak before entering into the closest village. I was trying to keep calm, I really was, but I knew I should get involved somehow. But I had no idea who this Sasuke person was. I would have asked, but Itachi was already well reserved as it was. I sighed before taking a seat at a table near the window.

**…...**

I definitely managed to pass by some time. I'd been hanging out here for quite awhile now. I ordered some food and watched as the people passed. But didn't expect to see who I did next.

"Tch! Sakura….?" I whispered lowly and immediately exited the place and right when I stepped outside felt the ground shake. I looked over at what people were pointing at and saw something that I knew belonged to Deidara.

"Deidara…!" I shouted and luckily no one was paying attention. The explosion caused a bright light that appeared in a form that almost looked like a star fish. Within seconds the explosion stopped and the figure disappeared and all that was left was a giant puff of smoke. I started to head off another direction knowing that since Sakura was around so would the others. The last thing I needed right now was to be seen. But I needed to know just who was Deidara fighting? Once I reached out far enough I looked back one more time before running into Tobi. I had fallen back and noticed Tobi was nervous.

"Tobi where's Deidara?" I questioned and quickly stood back up.

"Senpai… is dead…" Tobi replied and began to fidget with his fingers. I leaned onto a tree staring into space, trying not to believe what Tobi had said was true. Hoping that it was just a joke. "He used his trump card against Sasuke, but it failed…"

"So I see…"

"Nay?" Tobi asked, his voice a bit shaky. I looked up at the sky not answering and remaining silent and then Tobi said he needed to go do something.

"That idiot!" I shouted and slammed my fist into a tree. The tree than splits in half, scaring the squirrel back into my cloak. I sat back down and stared at the ground for what was the longest time, without a word or sound.

**~::.::.::.::.:: Later that day ::.::.::.::.::~**

It was beginning to get dark and beginning to rain. I began to head towards the explosion sight earlier curious to what I might find. I would have gone earlier, but figured since it was so recent that others would be around to investigate as well. I just hoped they didn't find anything. Of course I felt bad that Deidara and I were still on bad terms. When I fought him the other day I did intend on killing him, but that was before I saw him hesitate. I tried to fix things up afterwards, but had found he left off somewhere with Tobi. I still didn't get to say anything while we all met up again and now it was too late. He was the only reason that I decided to stick around for so long, but I was starting to realize that it wasn't just that. You'd think that now I'd be more focused than ever to go off and find Gaara again, but that wasn't even on my mind. The Akatsuki was now short another member and things were just starting to heat up. I still needed to do a few more things before I would do anything else. As I neared the sight I began to calculate the destruction his final move had done. He was always about how art was an explosion…. I finally reached the area that most likely was where it was set off. There was a giant hole in the ground and no trace of anyone.

"Look around a bit…" I ordered. The squirrel jumped off and began to run off as soon as it hit the ground. I kicked a few rocks over as I looked for anything that belonged to Deidara. I knew that I wanted to see this Sasuke person, for he was going to pay. I took a seat right in the middle of the giant hole and began to think back to the good memories that I had about him. I felt a slight smile spread on my face before getting back up to look at the cloudy sky. My hair and clothes were soaked. Suddenly the squirrel came back to me with something in its hands. I remained speechless as I realized that it was Deidara's ring. I placed it on my finger and realized that now I had two rings of something that I foolishly wanted long ago. It would now be the only thing I had of him.

"There you are," I heard white Zetsu's voice coming form behind. I turned around and stared at him as he told me that I must have heard already.

"Itachi is dead as well."

"What? Itachi is…." I stuttered.

"Yes, the one that was told to keep an eye on you long ago to prevent any mishaps with that curse mark of yours, is now gone as well."

"What are you talking about Zetsu?" I snapped. He smirked and then looked satisfied with my confusion, but wasn't prepared to tell me what it was about. No instead he stayed silent as I thought back to when I wanted to kill Zetsu.

"What about Kisame?" I added, breaking the silence that thickened with tension.

"He's fine."

"So I see..."

"You should get out of here. There's no point in staying here," Zetsu added. He didn't say anything else and began to sink into the ground, disappearing. I clenched my fist, hoping that this was all just one big dream, but nothing changed, it stayed the same.


	34. Chapter 34 The Truth Unraveled!

I lost the track of time. After all the events that so recently happened I was in no mood to even eat. We continued on with our tasks like nothing had happened. I already knew that the Akatsuki didn't value each others death, but this was different... I know I said I was beginning to despise him and even wanted to kill him, but I was feeling guilty now. After all Deidara was the first friend I had here maybe the only one that really tried to make me comfortable when I first got here. He also stood up for me when Hidan and the others would say anything and though he changed, so did I. It saddened me to know that I wouldn't hear his voice anymore or even see that blonde hair of his that was longer than mine now. I had experienced the loss of friends before back at the grass village, but this was just different, my feelings were different. I was currently headed to a village hoping that maybe being around delicious food, I would have the nerve to eat again. I arrived and ordered a drink I heard the others talk about at times before and thought it sounded decent. It seemed to me that it calmed you, or at least that's how the others made it seem like. When I asked for it, the man behind the counter asked if I was of age to be drinking it. I threatened him of course, and thank goodness I removed my cloak beforehand or things would have gotten messy. He gave a cup finally and I stared into it seeing my green eyes looking back at me. It smelled horrid, but still I washed it down. After a few more cups I was beginning to feel dizzy. I laid my forehead on top of my palm and slightly closed my eyes suddenly feeling like I was on a boat. Rocking back and forth…

_**"Can't you put that stupid toy down for a minute!"**_

_**"I guess I'm eating alone again tonight…"**_

_**"I told you, you are not allowed outside of the house!"**_

_**"She's been drinking as usual…."**_

_**"Mom where are you going?"**_

_**I promise I'll be back," she says.**_

_**"Promise?"**_

The voices began again, or at least that's what I thought, but finally I had pictured a little girl with the same eyes as me and a woman that looked frail like she'd been sick for awhile. I realized that lonely little girl was me, and that frail woman was indeed, my mother. All of it was coming back to me. Our old conversations, what happened to my sister and father… the times I'd sleep alone. How I constantly ate he same thing for dinner over and over again. I felt tears spill from my eyes and I stumbled out of there ignoring the mans pleas that I should sit back down. I exited through the back and began to run off.

"_**Where are you now mommy?"**_

I couldn't see clearly, and I had that taste of that drink in my mouth that had made my breathe smell the same way. When I had gotten far enough I laid in some bushes and felt more tears spill. My mother use to drink the same thing…. She used to leave for days without even telling me where she was going. She had lost my respect… her responsibility, herself. And I was the one who suffered from it.

"My mother abandoned me….? She left me…" I heard myself whisper while still sobbing and wiped the tears off my face. I held onto my head as I tried to stand back up and saw someone coming towards me.

"Nay-chan!" I heard Tobi call and I fell forward. Tobi caught me and swung my arm around his shoulder. He asked what I was doing, but I kept repeating the same thing over and over. "She's drunk…?" Tobi thought to himself and dragged Nay away from the village.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A while later::.::.::.::.::~**

I felt something furry rub against my hand that tickled and caused me to come into the light. I slowly opened my eyes and pushed off the warm cloth that was on my forehead. I was in my room again, but didn't remember getting there. My squirrel jumped off the bed and ran off. I was suddenly feeling the effects of what I did earlier. My head was throbbing like no other and I was craving for some coffee. I felt like my whole stomach was going to come gushing out and placed my hand over my mouth to prevent it. Oh how I absolutely HATED throwing up. I pushed myself out of bed and walked into the hallway towards Deidara's old room, still a bit wobbly. Ok so obviously that drink was some sort of liquor and like an idiot I went and shoved a crap load into my mouth. Well I knew that I was NEVER going to do that again. Deidara's room remained the way he left it, with the bed all messy and not many things in the drawers. I took a seat on the bed looking around wearily and felt a slight smile spread on my face. I thought back to one of our conversations.

"Dei…?"

"Listen Nayumei, there's one thing I forgot to mention. You can't trust anyone here," He said. "Don't make the mistake of trusting the wrong person."

"What about you? Can I trust you?" I asked and noticed his expression change. He never did answer my question.

**...…**

I left the base again to wonder around after the hangover was fading out. The Akatsuki were no longer together in one place, but scattered again, though there weren't many of us left anyways. All the members were slowly being picked off and I couldn't help but wonder when was it going to be my turn? When was I going to be freed? I didn't know if I wanted to leave anymore, now that I recalled all the lies my mother told me I wanted to know why. Why did she just leave like she did? Was I not good enough for her…? What did I ever do to deserve this? Any of it. It wasn't fair! I knew that I needed to hunt her down. I wanted to cause her pain like she caused me pain. I wanted her to know how it felt like, but I had no way of finding her. Orochimaru was dead and wouldn't be able to help me and I didn't know where Kabuto had gone off too. My only option was to return to the sand village. It is like a suicide mission, but I'd gotten out of situations like it before. It was only Pein, Konan, Kisame, Tobi, Zetsu and I that were left. Pein had recently got into a fight himself I heard and was successful; apparently it was some old man from the leaf village.

"We don't need a home…. We just need answers…" I looked over at the squirrel that was holding onto my hair as we jumped from tree to tree. During all these events I realized that I never named it. I knew he was a boy, so I paused a moment and stared at him.

"Kuri? Meaning chestnut…Hm….yeah!" I began to wonder what Deidara would think of the name and stopped to sit and look at the clouds passing by. There was just so much to juggle. Deidara's death, and now all the hatred I was feeling to this stranger that brought me into this world. In away I was abandoned again, with Deidra's death. Oh how I wish that we were on good terms. We never actually physically fought since that day and now I wish I had never done it. Why couldn't I have sucked it up and stayed in my room? Why did I have to go look for Gaara? Why did I feel that I needed to turn to him anyways? Every time he did offer it I pushed him away… I didn't understand why I felt connected to him until I remembered my mother scolding me. I thought long and hard before remembering that I had gone outside and noticed a lone red haired boy who was crying, I tried to talk to him, but others would always interfere. I didn't think anything of it until now. Gaara must have been that boy. The one that I wanted to talk to so badly, but it was almost forbidden. I began to reminisce through old conversations and images and was finally starting to clear everything out.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A while later::.::.::.::.::~**

It was just starting to get dark again. Zetsu had found me and told me that Tobi needed me for something. I followed as Zetsu instructed and found that I was supposed to meet him in this old building. I began to head towards the bottom of the steps and noticed just up ahead was Tobi and Kisame who appeared to be talking. I slowly began to walk up to try and listen in and heard Kisame refer to him as Madara Uchiha. I froze and stared in confusion as I heard Tobi's voice which was completely different. He had removed his mask and was just now putting it back on.

"Ms. Akada…I think it's time that I let you know as well…." Tobi turned around to face me and told Kisame he could go on ahead. I had snuck up so quietly and he knew I was there the whole time… I watched as Kisame smirked and turned around away from us. Tobi began telling me that he well first of all he isn't even Tobi and that he is indeed behind the making of the Akatsuki. That Pein isn't even the leader and that he has been keeping a close eye on me. Since I didn't leave because of Deidara's death I had somehow proved my loyalty and therefore was time for me to know on the secret. He continued with the same rants that Pein would tell us about how our goal was world domination and I was still willing to be in the Akatsuki that I would have to be more committed.

"And I already knew about your mother…I'll make you a deal, hm?" He continued.

"A deal?"

"You help me accomplish this goal and I'll do everything I can to help you find your mother... You just have to listen to what I say and don't get any funny ideas…." He stated. I had figured that my mother was already in the sand village and had told him this. He said that I was completely wrong though, which threw me off my wagon. I didn't like his voice however… it didn't sound trusting at all. And I knew that I shouldn't trust him, but….

"Deal…" I mumbled and looked to the side. I wanted to see his face as well, but he didn't show me. I followed after him as we went into the same place Kisame did. There was a table and only about four chairs around it. I stood by Kisame and seconds later a boy with black hair and three others walked in after him.

"What is this?" I questioned, but no one answered my question. The black haired boy which seemed to be the leader of this group took a seat. Kisame referred to them as Team Taka, or team hawk in other words. I looked at each member and slightly glared at the red haired girl who called herself Karin. She wore glasses and also had red eyes and was definitely a bit odd looking. The other two were Suigetsu who also carried a big sword with him like Kisame and Jugo a rather tall guy. I exchanged glances with all of them and looked over at the black haired boy who Madara finally revealed to be none other than Sasuke Uchiha. As they began to discuss I found myself staring at him eyeing him at every angle. This was who I was looking for.

"This boy defeated Deidara and Itachi? You can't be serious…" I thought to myself and noticed Karin giving me a strange look for eyeing him too long. Did she have something with this Sasuke person? I rolled my eyes at her and knew that she would be a problem later on. "I'll make you pay for Deidara's death Sasuke!" I thought to myself and glared at him. He made eye contact with me that made me feel a shiver. Madara, or Tobi, offered to this team hawk that they would work for the Akatsuki after they captured the eight tailed beast. He told them about the plan to collect all nine and awaken the ten tails. When Kisame butted in however, Suigetsu had put out that he was after his sword and jumped on the table trying to attack him. Madara used only his hand to block it and told them this wasn't the place to be fighting it off. Sasuke agreed to work with the Akatsuki which only seemed to worsen my mood. I was doing all I could not to burst out and kill him right there and then. The more he talked and seemed over confident and arrogant the more I wanted to slice his throat. He was so full of himself. And this was Itachi's brother? I wanted to ask about it, but now was not the time. Somewhere in their conversation they mentioned Orochimaru which also shocked me. This boy had also killed Orochimaru! But there was no way that he was going to intimidate me. I had a really hard time grasping all the details that were being thrown around when I was too busy thinking other things. And then it hit me.

"Where is Kuri?" I said under my breath and looked around the room beginning to panic. During all this new news about Tobi not being Tobi I hadn't notice him run off. I noticed that Suigetsu guy eyeing me. He was most likely making sure we weren't planning anything. But it looked more like he was spacing out. I noticed he even had fangs which were strange and told myself that later I would question him. But it seemed that as time progressed I was digging myself deeper and deeper into the darkness.


	35. Chapter 35 Let the Search Begin

While Sasuke talked with Madara I looked around the room looking desperately for Kuri. Come to think of it, it was a strange name in the first place so it be odd to start calling it out loud. Especially in the middle of such a serious matter. I was suppose to maintain a serious appearance, but was making myself look strange instead with looking around the room several times. I couldn't find that damn squirrel anywhere! I noticed Suigetsu still observing me which only made me more irritated. I stopped and came back to reality once Madara and Sasuke began to get more serious as they talked about their plans to destroy the leaf village and team up on capturing the nine tails, which was if Sasuke and his team could capture the eight tails. I didn't even think this was going to happen. The way Sasuke talked about Naruto it almost seemed like he knew him and despised him. But to destroy the leaf village? Now I just wasn't sure if I could be able to go through with something like that… I couldn't stand it anymore and decided to walk out. There was no doubt in my mind that I was not going to hurt Naruto. Even though he may hate me now, he's the type of person I wish I could be, the type of person that can change this world, and there was no way I'd go against him. And that was enough for me to put my foot down.

"Where are you going, Nayumei?" Madara called. I raised my hand to shake it at him as a way of telling him to leave me alone. I simply heard Sasuke smirk and soon their voices became muffled. Just what was I going to do? Should I honestly believe in Madara's words about finding my mother? Before I was going to even consider doing anything else I needed to know where she was and if nothing could be done there was no point in sticking around here.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A while later::.::.::.::.::~**

I had decided that I was going to have to clear everything out first. The more the days went by, the less important my anger with Sasuke seemed. Of course I still cared for Deidara in some ways, but I just didn't have the time for revenge. My time was limited, and I couldn't die with any regrets. The only thing I need right now is to find out the truth of my mother. I approached Sasuke who I saw standing, looking over a cliff and near by was Suigetsu. I maintained a blank expression, and stared into Suigetsu's eyes which seemed to have distracted him.

"Where is Madara? I need to speak with him," I spat out. There was no need for politeness. Sasuke smirked before telling me he didn't know and didn't care. Even if he was working with us now, he had his mind set that he would do what he wanted and not what he was told. Or maybe to do what it would take to get our help with destroying the leaf village. Which only meant he'd have to prove his loyalty first, either way I didn't care. I thought back to when I destroyed the grass village and how I knew that I was a completely different person then. I had lost my control and I knew now if I was able to control it back then, that I would have never done anything like it. And I would have never been found by Deidara and Sasori. Ever since than I continued with the act of trying to be something that I just wasn't. I wanted to say more, but a part of me was telling me that I didn't need to and to just leave it how it was. So I took one last look at them both before disappearing into the trees. After awhile I ran into Zetsu and he told me that I was wasting my time with Sasuke, for Deidara had killed himself. I merely blocked it out and denied it and demanded to know where Madara had gone, he finally let it out of the bag and I proceeded with my search. I finally found him, not long and tried to keep my cool. I had spent the whole day looking for him and hadn't even figured out what exactly I was to say. After all, I wasn't aware of what he was capable of.

"Listen Madara, I need to find my mother first, then I'll corporate with whatever it is you need me to do, but until then, don't include me in any of your plans," I spoke confidently though I was beginning to realize I never did see him fight before and wasn't quite sure what tricks he had up his sleeve.

"You're mother is dead." The words sunk in and I began to feel panic.

"You're lying! Why would you try and…." I started and finally realized it. Thank goodness it was sooner than later. Madara was surely not going to help me find my mother and that only had me at one option. He was trying to get in my head and confuse me more, but I refused to listen to a word he said. Madara then explained that if I was only going to get in the way that he would deal with me himself. It became very clear that he wasn't ever even considering helping me, and I was stupid for even thinking he would. I walked silently off into the stillness of the night, having one mind set. To go to the sand village and find my mother myself, despite him saying she wasn't there in the first place. But if he lied about helping me then he most likely lied about that too, right?

**~::.::.::.::.:: A few days later ::.::.::.::.::~**

I had managed to get away without being followed. I grabbed ever single thing I owned and took it with me. Though I had my mind set on never returning with the Akatsuki. I kept the rings in my bag incase I changed my mind, and to have something of Deidara's. But I guess it depended on what I would find. All I wanted to do was meet with her face to face and figure out why she left me like she did. It was as simple as that. I knew deep down that she was still alive, and was just lingering, but where was the question.

**...**

I had been traveling for awhile now and had entered the sandy dessert that was long and seemed endlessly. The sand village was just up ahead and I couldn't see a thing. I had managed to come right in the middle of a nasty sand storm. I stared down at my feet telling myself over and over that soon, I would be there. I hadn't exactly cleared out the plan on how to get in, but I knew that Gaara would surely do something about it. I was hoping that he would want to see me and then I could ask him for help. The Akatsuki never did find out that I was offered a new life and I didn't want them too. I wanted it to stay a secret forever if possible. Now that Sasuke and his team had joined I felt like what was once the Akatsuki was no more. Almost half the members died off and the ones that were left were the ones I couldn't stand to be around. I had only stayed because I wanted to avenge Deidara's death, but that had quickly faded. You'd think if you'd want to be an avenger you'd have absolutely no doubt in your mind, well I must have and never even knew it.

Finally after what seemed like two days of walking in a windy storm I made my way to the entrance. Fortunately I had spotted a hidden way to get in undetected and headed for the tower that was suppose to be where the Kazekage lived. It was dark outside and it was easier this way to sneak in with not as many guards aware of it. I had to knock out a few guards and finally started to walk towards his door, feeling the tension build up. This was it, no turning back. I had actually finally stuck to one of my ideas and followed my heart, instead of my head. I knocked before he told me to enter. I debated for a few seconds whether or not I should actually go through with it, and bit my lip before pushing the door open. He was finishing writing something down and had sort of a peaceful aura around him. I felt my stomach flutter as he looked up and changed his expression to surprise. We stared into each others eyes for what seemed like the longest time, and I was just starting to compute that, no this wasn't a dream. I had actually come here and now I was facing him.

"What are you doing here?" He asked sounding unsure.

"I need your help…"I stuttered and tried to stay calm, but was starting to feel uneasy. He seemed shocked by the plea, and I was starting to doubt myself. Maybe I shouldn't have come to him after all.

"You see… I need to find my mother… She used to live here and I don't remember anything about her….and well I'd figure you'd help me with finding her file since she used to be a Shinobi here…"

He looked to the side and then back at me making me feel nervous. I was sure he was going to say no, after all that the Akatsuki had put him through, why would he ever want to help me, for the sake of following Naruto's footsteps.

"We can start tomorrow," He started as he put away his papers and stood up at his desk. He began to walk towards me as I stared blankly out the window feeling frozen. "You can stay in a room down the hall if you'd like." He walked past me brushing his shoulder against mine and left the room, with me alone inside. I looked around dumbfounded, how was it that he trusted me so much when he barely knew me? Why did I feel so drawn to him? Why, why, why?

"I guess since I have nowhere else to go…"I mumbled for only myself to hear. But I was definitely relieved.

**~::.::.::.::.:: Later that night::.::.::.::.::~**

I stared at the sky for what seemed like the longest time, mostly day dreaming of what my life could have been like. Remembering the happy times I did have with my mother and the stories she use to tell me. The plans we use to make and never accomplished. All the way to the day she took her suitcases and walked out the door. I pulled my knees under my chin and looked down at the ground which was several feet underneath me. I hadn't realized someone had come up behind me till I noticed that familiar red hair. I stared up at him as he looked out at his village in silence.

"I like to come up here too," he said in such a soothing voice I felt myself shiver. Why did I feel this way? I tried to fill my head with times with Deidara, but couldn't do it successfully.

"Why is that?" I blurted out and tried to avoid his gaze.

"Because I can see everything," He added. "It's calming." I stared up at him and then got into a standing position.

"Do you remember me? Because I remember you, I was little then… but I remember you tried to help me and I tried to talk to you… it was so long ago so I understand if don't remember…." I rambled on and tried to keep a serious face, but was starting to get irritated with the way I was acting. He smirked and wore a grin on his face. He added that he remembered that and how people had intervened and then he had come looking for me by the same place we met and waited for me to return and had finally given up after awhile when he realized I wasn't coming back. I told him a little about how afterwards I remembered sand Shinobi coming to bring me somewhere and that was when I had escaped. He told me that he would help me find her and when I asked what I needed to do in return he said nothing. I thought back to when he told me about how I can change my path and surprised myself when I blurted out that I was sorry for all the trouble I caused when the Akatsuki had taken him. He said that it could stay in the past now and he forgave me already and then told me I should get some rest. He started to go back inside and I watched as the stars in the sky seemed to appear then disappear, all except one that twinkled brightly. I looked over at a neighborhood that seemed familiar and sighed.

"Where are you now mother?"


	36. Chapter 36 Loneliness

**A/n: SO sorry for the very late update... I've been going through a lot of personal things and just didn't have the time or energy to write anymore, but I'm back! Hopefully it'll stick! This story should only have a bit more chapters to go then I'll just end it. I wouldn't be surprised if you gave up on this story, haha. Anyways let me know what you think of it.**

* * *

So a few days had gone by. Well they felt more like weeks to be honest. The search to find my mother seemed almost impossible. Gaara was keeping my identity a secret though I don't know why, but he was. I knew that I could trust him, but what I didn't understand was how he could trust me? Wasn't he at all suspicious that I would turn around and try and kill him? No, he believed in me in a way no one has ever done, and that was making me have hope. Hope in myself and hope in my future. I was given a strange outfit to help mask who I was. So to people like Kankuro I wouldn't look familiar. This gave me the freedom to walk around among people and live for the time being, peacefully. The time I wasn't looking, I would spend it around Gaara. And these odd feelings began to grow. I suddenly found myself longing to see him and even thinking of his smile, but would quickly shake the thoughts away. I adjusted the hat I was wearing that was hiding well my brown hair, then took a seat in front of an abandoned home and sighed. I played with the sand with my foot and began to think of what has age done to my mother. Maybe she was gray haired by now? More frail than I remembered, or maybe Madara had been right. Maybe she wasn't even around anymore...

"Excuse me ma'am… I seemed to have dropped my bags could you help me?" An old woman appeared before me with a weak smile as she pointed to groceries scattered all over the floor.

"Uh… sure," I quickly stood up and had turned my back towards her when I suddenly heard a knife being pulled out. I had jumped forward and flipped over her things then faced her with my hands in fight stance. "What the hell is your problem lady?" I spat. She had jumped forward and as I was about to move I suddenly was flung upside down by some wires. I shouted and was surprised to see some man come to my aid and take her down. A puff of smoke came and went and what was left was a knocked out sand Shinobi. The guy who came to my rescue appeared to be some higher rank guard; he cut me down and helped me up. But not before my hat had fallen off and my hair fallen on my shoulders.

"Thanks…" I mumbled still in shock. Was this how it was like living in a regular village? Being attacked by old ladies?

"My name is Benji, sorry about that… "He spoke sweetly. He had dark brownish blonde hair and looked to be in his thirties. I felt a pair of eyes looking down at me and quickly looked up, realizing my hat was off. I began to panic and excused myself, ran off and placed my hat back on.

"**That brat's still a live…." Someone whispered from a distance.**

**~::.::.::.::.:: Later that night::.::.::.::.::~**

I had knocked before entering suddenly feeling a sickening feeling. Gaara was sitting behind his desk as usual filling out papers when I fell to my knees.

"I can't do this! I need to leave…" I sobbed and placed my hands over my face as the tears I'd been holding in, finally began to flow. All those horrible feelings and thoughts I had kept to myself were all unleashing at once, with a messy waterfall. And to my dismay, Gaara was about to observe it all.

"Nayumei?" Gaara said quietly and came before me placing his hands on my shoulders. I continued to face down trying to calm myself, regain my composure, but I only did what felt natural. I held onto him and embraced him in a hug. He seemed shocked, taken back, and I could tell he didn't know how to react. I hadn't even thought that maybe he didn't let people get to close in the first place and here I was practically throwing myself at him, His arms slowly rose and he hugged me back. My eyes widen and I let my head rest on his shoulder as the tears continued to flow. I couldn't even remember the last time I had let someone comfort me, let alone show my vulnerable side to. A side I was sure I knew how to hide well. But running around all day with flashbacks of everything was becoming too much… I couldn't handle it by myself anymore. This wasn't intentional, of all the places I could have gone I had found myself coming here, to him, could it be? I was…. Falling for Gaara? Or was it that I finally found someone who could understand how it felt to be lonely?

"She's trembling…" Gaara thought to himself as he stared blankly at the floor ahead of him. He had felt something he had never felt before and wasn't even sure how to describe it, other than it was a warm relaxing feeling. Suddenly he sensed a pair of eyes watching them from one of the windows and slowly stood up with Nayumei standing up to. "Things have to get harder before they can get easy." He added while looking around cautiously.

"I'm sorry I don't know where that came from," I suddenly spoke sternly and with a bit of hostility.

"Are you aware you've been followed all day?" He said softly. I looked up at him and into his eyes. I then quickly averted them and looked around frantically.

"No way…! How could I have missed that? How could I have not noticed?" I thought to myself and was suddenly filling up with anger and confusion. "Is someone on to me?" I said quietly. He stared at me blankly and just then the door had busted open, and Kankuro with two other sand Shinobi behind him had appeared.

"Gaara we have come to take the Akatsuki spy a way!" He shouted. This was it, my time here was up. I turned to face them with my head held up. Kankuro's eyes filled with hate, hate for the Akatsuki and hate for me. "Just what were you thinking harboring a criminal here?" He yelled angrily and prepared to fight.

"I accept your challenge, take me if you can," I spoke bitterly and with a slight smirk on my face. That was enough to make his teeth cringe and ready to fling at me at any second.

"Stop! Kankuro! She's not the enemy; she's left the Akatsuki for good…" Gaara tried, but Kankuro's eyes were set on me. "She's only here to find her long lost mother…" Gaara continued. Kankuro's eyes had grown big as he examined my face to see if there was any truth to it.

"Why…?" He stuttered then began to shout again that he didn't believe any of it. Saying that I was only taking advantage of Gaara's loyalty. I looked back at him without a word to say, and then noticed a figure outside one of the windows. I had taken a step forward when I heard a knife being flung towards me. It was quickly deflected by Gaara's knife. Was he really prepared to fight his brother over me? But why? What was I doing? Putting a brother against his brother and for what?

"Trust me Kankuro," Gaara tried again.

"You don't have to fight for me. I can handle things on my own. I'll be out of here by tonight you have my word," I spoke interrupting their gazes fixated on each other. The tension in the room was thick and the sand Shinobi, by order were only standing by.

"You don't have to go Nay," Gaara tried, but I could only half smile before jumping out the window.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A few minutes later::.::.::.::.::~**

I had begun to sprint like I never sprinted before. It's not like I was scared of Kankuro coming after me or any of the sand Shinobi… it was because of this building fear of who it could be that had been following me. Could it be that I had been figured out? Could it be that I'd be putting the entire sand village in danger, just by me simply breathing the same air? I had to get away as fast as I could. If it was my time to go then so be it, but having hundreds of innocent lives going down with me for no reason? Well that was out of the question.

"Stop!" I heard Kankuro's voice call for me. I had no time to stop, that entity was near by and the air was thickening with their disgusting smell. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on which direction it was coming from, but with Kankuro close behind I was having trouble concentrating.

"I said STOP!"

Just then a grass jutsu had been released, as quickly as it had popped from the ground I shoved Kankuro out of the way and took a blow to my left arm. I managed not to scream out in pain this time, but quickly felt my entire sleeve soak up and a puddle form by my feet. I jumped back down standing in front of Kankuro who was on his knees.

"What the hell…" He mumbled and I could feel his eyes settled on the back of my head. I might have proven my loyalty to him, but that wasn't to prevent what was to come next.

"So you found me after all… I was hoping you'd let me live in peace, but I can see now that'll be impossible," I looked frantically around waiting for it; I could feel it, the next attack at any second now. "Stay on your guard!" I shouted to Kankuro, who had quickly gotten up to his feet, not very pleased of me helping him and ordering him around.

"You want to tell me what the hell is going on!" He shouted. Just then spears came from the right, the size of tree trunks. Kankuro had jumped out of the way while I broke threw two, but took another blow to my side. I coughed up blood as I ripped through the rest.

"Show yourself, Zetsu!" I yelled with clenched fists. "Let's settle this once and for all! Quit being a coward! Take me down if you can! I'm done running!"

Zetsu had appeared from the ground and faced me with a sickening smile. I had ordered Kankuro to stay out of this fight, and he began to ramble about how he couldn't just stand by with an Akatsuki member being so close by. I tuned him out and suddenly felt this growing excitement to fight, my neck had begun to pulsate and the feeling that was once so familiar was beginning to take over.

"Might as well have a little fun while we're here," Zetsu's half spoke. "No remember what we came for." The other said.

"We didn't come here to fight Ms. Akada. We simply came to tell you that we have found your mother. And if you come back to us you can have her back. In one piece…" He began to laugh and disappeared into the ground ignoring my yells and questions. I leaped towards the spot he was just standing on and began to punch the ground.

"Come back damn it! Come back!" I screamed at the top of my lungs and finally put my head down and began to sulk. I was breathing heavily from the anger and from the wounds, which were now starting to take effect. I collapsed and could no longer hear. My eyes began to close with the image of my mother's face burned on the inside of my eyelids. Was it really true? THEY had my mother? How could they? Why? Hadn't I gone through enough? Was it really necessary to go through all the trouble to make me suffer even more? Or was it all lies? Some sort of trap to kill me off, I knew too much, but then why hadn't they killed me sooner? If they knew I was staying here they could have done it at any moment. But then again… the group we're talking about here have no hearts. They only enjoy making others suffer. I was merely a new target for their entertainment. The only one of them left who had a bit of a decent heart, the only one who had always deep inside had pure intentions. Why couldn't they just kill me now…

**…...**

"**What does death feel like? Will it be peaceful where I go? Or will it be even worse? Is there still hope for my soul or has it been tainted too much to ever be saved? I've been numb for so long… so lost… Oh how I need someone…. I need to find my way… or I'll never stop wandering…."**

**~::.::.::.::.:: A few days later::.::.::.::.::~**

The song of a bird was the first thing I heard when I finally had opened my eyes. I felt myself a bit numb, and considering how stiff I was, I must have been out for days. I looked around the small room I was in and tensed up as I tried to sit and then stand.

"You shouldn't move so fast…" I heard a familiar voice come my direction. Kankuro was standing at the end of my bed with his arms crossed and a hostile look on his face. I had nearly forgotten… I was supposed to have left. He was ready to kill me off, but the last thing I remember was him going after me by himself. It also meant he was the one who brought me back, but why?

"I… should go, I don't belong here," I added coldly.

"Listen, you can stay here a while longer if you need… Gaara has his reasons why he's kept you around and I don't really understand it, but he wants to help you," He suddenly stopped talking like he was thinking of something then looked back at me. "She could have let that guy kill me, but she didn't even hesitate…" He thought to himself. Before he had ran after her and before the Zetsu encounter, Gaara had told him about how she had been longing to change her path, and from the beginning she had been misled, but now was her chance of finding who she was really meant to be and he was determined to help her reach it. Kankuro had seen a strange look in his eye, a look he had never seen before and it was all because of this girl. He examined the many scars she had on her arms and neck and that look in her big green eyes. The look he knew oh too well. "I hope you don't let him down…" Kankuro added and walked out of the room. His last words echoing in the silence of the room. I starred at him speechless before looking down at my feet. This could only mean…. I was accepted.


	37. Chapter 37 Face to Face

"So there is absolutely no record of anyone that even resembles my mother?" I was barely audible. Gaara stared at me with a gloomy look on his face. He didn't know what to say. There was nothing he could say to make this situation better. It's as if my mother never existed. "Then…Could it be the Akatsuki really do have my mother? Gaara what am I suppose to do!" I begged desperately.

"It's a trap Nayumei. If you go you will only put yourself in danger."

"But what if it's not? What if they really do have her! What if they're killing her as we speak! I can't take anymore of this!" I ran out of the room and Gaara watched without another word.

This would have never happened if my mother had stayed by my side. If she had gotten over her problems, gotten help from someone, if she had never left me behind! I bet she doesn't even think of me… I must be long forgotten, some sort of obstacle that once held her back, was it really all that easy to walk right out of someone's life? Never even look back? How did the Akatsuki find her so quickly? If they really had…. There was only one way to find out. To go see for myself. If they didn't have her then there was my chance to finally take down the Akatsuki once and for all, even if it meant dying in the attempt, but if they really did then I could take her back with me, that's if she even wanted to come. Oh but it was all easier said than done and if I were to leave, I'd for sure be followed.

"What should I do…"

**~::.::.::.::.:: A few hours later::.::.::.::.::~**

I was sharpening my weapons when I heard Kankuro calling for me. He was running towards me with a medium sized brown box.

"You won't believe what we found…I think this belongs to you," He spoke gently and placed it by my hand. I stared at it unsure of what it could possibly be. Slowly I lifted the top and saw scraps of a photo, a sand Shinobi headband and underneath everything else was a black necklace with a blue gem in the center, framed with a heart. I dangled it for a bit then looked down at a photo that made me feel like my heart had stopped. The photo of a little girl that looked just like me, with a mother, father and another girl right beside me. It took a moment, but it finally registered… it was me. I stared at my mother and felt tears form at the corner of my eyes. It was her… exactly how I remembered her. It was before she had lost herself. That glow she had on her face and her smile. My father and sister, almost completely erased from my mind, seeing how happy of a family we once were was hurting me inside. I always wanted that perfect family… Happy… always being there for each other, but nothing is ever perfect. You can try and try, but it'll never be enough. Or at least that's how I see it. Life seemed to enjoy knocking me down, so why did I always get back up? I suddenly remembered a time I was crying in the corner of a dark room, my knees held to my chest, that's how my family left me. In the darkness. Was I to wander in it forever?

"Where did you get this?" I finally blurted out. Kankuro had been standing by awkwardly.

"We found it in a storage room with things collected over the years. We assumed it was yours because she looks just like you…" He said with the last part fading. "Your mother was a former Shinobi correct? So that must be hers… We double checked the records and found no trace…"

I held it and tightened my grip. I mumbled a yes and placed it back inside. "Thank you." He nodded and I placed the necklace around my neck, I assumed it must have belonged to her. I didn't expect a single trace of my former life to be found, I didn't even think anything was left behind, but there was. And maybe there was a slight ray of hope. I now was absolutely certain that I was from here and so was my mother. The fact that something so simple was saved, and the universe had brought it back to, had to be a sign right? But where did she go afterwards? Was there another home that she felt was better suited? I began to make way towards my room and waited for night to fall. Perhaps sitting around waiting wasn't a good idea after all.

**…...**

The dead of night had fallen. I had almost forgotten how visible the stars were at times here and that was probably my second favorite thing about the nighttime. The first being… it was the best weapon a ninja could have. The night was the best time to sneak or set up traps. I packed some of my things in a small green backpack and put it on my back. I took out a piece of paper and a pen and with a clock ticking as my background sound, I wrote. I checked for someone watching and slipped a way, something I had done so many times already, and I left. I left it all behind.

Gaara had felt a bit anxious and suddenly felt the need to check on Nay. He put away the last of his papers and left his room. He walked towards her room and found it unlocked. He knocked several times and when he heard no answer he slowly entered to find it empty. He walked towards the open window and looked up at the sky and then down at the ground before finding the note she left on her desk.

"_**Thank you for everything, because of you I now know where I'm headed. Take care,**_

_**-Nayumei."**_

**~::.::.::.::.:: A few days later::.::.::.::.::~**

You'd think by now I would be smarter about things. Plan out a strategy before jumping in blind, but I guess that was just something Deidara had rubbed off on me. There was a feeling in the air, a feeling deep in side; I truly believed that I would be running into my mother soon. Only thing was I wasn't exactly sure where the Akatsuki had gone, I had already passed the last place I had left them, where were they now? They hadn't even told me or given me any proof that they really did have my mother. I guess my stubbornness will never go away. Just then a kunai knife sliced my cheek and landed into the tree behind me. I looked forward at Zetsu who was standing with a bag in his hands.

"So you came after all… We were starting to think you didn't love your mother after all… She's dying to see you…" He spoke.

"I need proof. I won't follow you unless you prove it!"

"Nay is that you…" A small voice called from some bushes. My heart began to pump as I slowly turned my head to face a middle aged woman with brown hair walk towards Zetsu. "It is you…it's really you…"

"I…." I stuttered and suddenly felt unable to move. The figure began to walk towards me smiling with tears rolling down its face. "It can't be… you can't…" I started and felt the knife pierce through my chest. All at once my neck began to pulsate and I felt the curse mark begin to spread. I shoved back the figure and made way towards Zetsu. He dodged and suddenly I was released from the genjutsu. I fell to the ground with a big thump and laid still before slowly lifting my head to see nothing was around. I rose to my feet and began back on my way towards an abandoned Akatsuki hideout. The jutsu to enter was the same and I entered quietly to see if someone was around.

"Ah there you are Nay," As quickly as it came my head snapped up to face none other than Madara Uchiha himself.

"YOU!" I spat. "Where is she?"

He began to laugh as I looked around the room frantically for something. I should have known they wouldn't really have her… I should have known.

"We will bring her to you if you help us with our new objective. It's simple as that! You can't deny that you're still one of us! You still have the rings! You still have Dei's ring! You belong to us Nay! Did you really think it be that simple to just walk away? Did you really think you could just go and live a normal life? You don't belong with the rest of them, you belong with us and you know it!"

"Stop! I've changed!" I shouted.

"You can think you've changed all you want! But we both know how stained your hands are! How black your heart already is! Are you forgetting your true goal? You wish to avenge Deidara don't you?" He continued. My eyes quickly flickered and I stared with my mouth slightly opened. My eyes began to twitch at the thought of those hundreds I had killed then the times spent with Dei. "How do you think he would feel knowing you gave up so quickly on him? After all he did for you, how he helped you, it was all for nothing. You abandon all that is good in this life. Your gift from Orochimaru and now you're refusing our help? Are you forgetting we were your only family before? We saved you from rotting in a ditch somewhere! From the nothing you were destined to be! At least with us you have a future, and that is a promise," He finished. My hands were placed on my head now as I stumbled back and fell to my knees. I was emotionally unstable at this point. Madara had walked towards me at this point and placed his hand on my head. "Get up."

He quickly jumped back dodging an attack coming from the left. He had landed on a broken statue that was in the background. I looked over to see Gaara walking towards me. He wasn't in his Kazekage outfit anymore, but in his red ninja attire.

"How did you find me? How did you get in here… how did I not sense it?" I questioned, but he didn't answer. He looked away and towards Madara who was watching us cautiously. "I told you I could handle this!"

"I'm almost out of time… This will have to wait," Madara thought to himself. The ground began to shake and pieces of the roof began to fall. As Gaara's sand began to dodge some, Madara had disappeared as we rushed to exit out of there. Once far away enough I began to shout, frustrated with everything. I was sick of the same thing always happened. Over and over again, was there no end?

"You're still injured…" His voice had sent a rush of peace through me. Why did he care so much? Why did he leave his village to come get me by himself? Why? I looked down at my leg, not even remembering how it had happened. So used to the pain that my body had began to numb itself.

"It's nothing…" I sighed. Out of the blue he placed his hand on my cheek, causing my heart to pound hard and my eyes to blink twice. I had nearly forgotten the cut I had; he was merely wiping the blood. He explained there was a village just up ahead and we could stop by there before heading back. All that Madara had said, didn't seem to matter at this point, none of it did. The search for my mother was at a dead end, and even that was starting to seem okay, because at least there was one person… someone who truly cared. And maybe that was just enough.

After we finished eating there, we walked around for a bit. I had done my fair share of traveling, but never had I been to this village. We passed by a group of men who were carrying boxes and following them were a group of ladies with baskets. Gaara stopped to talk to some man about what was happening, while I zoned out watching the people pass. Someone had tripped and their basket had landed right in front of my feet. I slowly bent over to pick it up and was face to face with some women wearing some cloth over her head.

"Oh… here you go," I attempted a smile as I handed it over. She hadn't met my eyes, until it was back in her hands. She began to speak and stopped herself and her lips began to shake as she continued to stare at my face then at my necklace.

"The sand village is a long way, eh?" The man Gaara was talking to, said. I had nearly forgotten he was with me. The woman held my gaze, and I suddenly held onto my necklace asking if she liked it.

"Where did you get that?" She mumbled softly.

"Oh… It belonged to…" I started and was interrupted when she grabbed onto it and tried to rip it from my neck.

"What are you doing!" I snapped. Then what was supposed to be tucked away under her shirt, a necklace had fallen out. One identical to mine and now dangling freely from her neck. I stared at it dumbfounded and unable to form words. Her eyes meeting mine, with a look of confusion and anger hidden behind them. "What…" When she realized her necklace was exposed, she quickly disappeared into the crowd. Without a second to even think, I bolted after her.

"WAIT!" I had shouted, but it was too late she was gone. "NO! Come back… Please…" I cried as I began to run through the crowds looking for her. I ran back and forth, crying out, tears rolling down my face, my head began to throb and I finally collapsed from exhaustion. "It couldn't have been…. How….?" Have you ever felt that feeling when everything just seems to go still? You suddenly find yourself no longer thinking, but only listening to your breathing and your frantic heartbeat? You try to move, but it's like your paralyzed? Yeah I think it's safe to say I've experienced it too much. Without my permission I had lost consciousness.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A few hours later::.::.::.::.::~**

"Nay? Nay?" I heard someone call my name. My eyes quickly flickered and I found myself face to face with Gaara. Him carrying me in his arms as we made way to the sand village.

"W-whaat happened?" I yawned and rubbed my forehead.

"You fell asleep…" He replied, with his usual calm and soothing voice.

"It was all a dream? It couldn't have been…." I thought to myself. "How could…" I reached with my left hand to touch my cheek which was now bandaged, and nearly cried out in horror. It wasn't a dream… Or was it? What parts were real? Had I really come face to face with the woman I had been searching for? I looked over Gaara's shoulder and stared out into the distance.

"**If I've found you then… I promise I'll come back… But unlike you, I'll keep my promise and I won't run away."**


	38. Chapter 38 All Out of Control

Gaara had noticed Nay's behavior suddenly become strange. She didn't tell anyone of the encounter with her possible mother, and when she had run off; her cries weren't heard by him either. She had kept it to herself, a habit she knew not to break out of. It had been a few days since they got back, and at first everything seemed normal, but as time progressed she became more and more quiet, spending more time alone and closed away in her room. Becoming distant, after she had finally begun to let people get close again. Nayumei had always been suffering, but realizing the person who brought her into the world doesn't want to see her, was by far the most heart breaking.

**"I had no use for you that's why I threw you away. You were worthless… you had all that power and didn't want it, just like you still secretly wish you didn't. Tell me child, what are you doing in the Akatsuki if you can't stand the thought of killing? You're just like… You're mother…"**

"What did you mean by that Orochimaru?"

I looked down at my feet replaying the images, over and over again… Like a circle, never ending. I know it best be not to think of all the bad, and try and weigh it out with the good, but what was the point? How much longer could I really go on for? How could my mother just run a way from me, after all these years, her feelings must have never even changed? Did she really hate me so much? Feeling sorry for myself wasn't going to change anything... I knew that, but it was as if my mind and my body were giving up. Even my spirit had begun to hide away, no longer wishing to try, only wanting to find peace, but how could it? When there were so many things wrong, so many things left unsolved. I may never even answer all of them, but if I were to die today…Would I be proud of who I was? No, definitely not. I stood up and placed my hands on the railing of the balcony I was standing on and looked past the houses, past the village and at the sunset off in the distance, slowly dropping itself. I sighed before looking down at my scarred hands; I had heard before something about how a person's story can be read, simply by looking at their hands.

"You don't plan to give up do you?" I heard Gaara's soft voice coming from behind me. I inhaled deep and closed my eyes as the wind rustled my hair back and forth.

"I…I can't answer that right now," I replied a lot harsher than intended. He walked up to the railing and placed his hands on it. I didn't want to, but I suddenly found myself facing him and my eyes glued on his pale complexion. He was looking forward and began to try and motivate me about why giving up will only bring me more sorrow and I must not give up.

"Who cares what happens to me. I'm already dead inside, my body can no longer feel any pain than the pain I feel in here," I placed my hand over my heart, and finally he was facing me again. "If you could see…all the things I've seen… all the things I've done, you would no longer wish to help me. I don't get it, why should you care what happens to me?"

"I've already told you… Because you and I are alike," He said with little emotion to his voice. I stared into his eyes trying to comprehend, trying to look past his looks, to see who he really was, but the idea of him being so close was giving me a strange feeling… And I only wanted him closer. I thought back to when he held me as I cried and all those times he rushed in to save me or bring me back.

"Gaara I think I'm…. I think falling in love with you!' I thought to myself. "Gaara…" I whispered so only I could hear. And suddenly felt myself getting closer to his face. I ignored the look in his eye, I knew he was thinking the same thing I was, what was I doing? But that didn't stop me; it was as if I was standing from a far watching it happen, as our lips almost met. He put his hands on my shoulders and said my name with confusion, before gently pushing me back. I placed a hand on my forehead of embarrassment and began to apologize, tears beginning to stream down my face. "I'm sorry… I don't even know where that came from! I'll go… I'm…" I stuttered. I wanted to sprint away. I wanted to leave now more than ever, how could I ever live this down? But as soon as I began to run off he quickly grabbed my hand, surprising the both of us. I stared back at him with my mouth open and confusion written on both of our faces.

"Stay," Was all he said. In a way that made me feel… almost calm, relieved. And that was all he needed to say. The look in his eye, unexplainable while the sunset's light made his face glow. I swore I saw the corner of his mouth curl up. I looked down at his hand, still gripping mine and I gently set it free. We both looked off at the sunset without another word spoken.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A few hours later::.::.::.::.::~**

The night had been restless for me. With the Akatsuki, Madara's advice, my mother, and now letting my feelings get the best of me with Gaara. Was I really falling in love with him? How? How could I? I didn't even know what love felt like, how was it suppose to feel? It was something I never understood, I once had it long ago, but that had failed me. Then failed me again with Deidara. Was that even love? Maybe it was infatuation. But it was different this time. Gaara was the type so it seemed, to not even know love himself. He had his siblings; he had the village, while I had nothing. He seemed to be so serious all the time, he was able to hide his emotions so well, like I wish I could, but then why… did he want me to stay? Shouldn't he have been glad I wanted to run off? I tried to kiss him! Did that not register to him? Why couldn't things just get easier for me? I adjusted the blankets and turned once more staring out the window and at the moon. Maybe what I really needed all along was just someone to love. Maybe I didn't need my mother, she obviously didn't want anything to do with me, why hurt myself even more going after someone so heartless? Maybe I didn't need any power, I didn't need revenge, and I didn't need the Akatsuki. What I did rarely see what was sweet in this world was love. A word so easily misused. And in some cases not used enough. If I was falling in love, then what? That didn't necessarily mean he felt the same way…

"Stop it Nay! You're losing your mind…" I whined and placed the pillow over my face. "AH!" I then threw it across the room and laid flat on my back. "I can only hope… that what happened today will never be spoken of again." Maybe what was for the best for now was to focus on training? It had been an uneasy feeling, but somehow I knew that I'd be seeing the Akatsuki again. As long as they continue to pester me, continue to take innocent lives then I wouldn't be able to live in peace. But taking them down myself would be impossible. I would have to wait for the right moment… I sigh heavily then look down at my mother's necklace still locked around my neck, and carefully remove it leaving it on my bed stand. Retrieving the pillow from the ground, I finally lay down still and begin to drift to sleep.

"Somebody help!" A woman suddenly screamed. I ran to the window and saw several houses on fire with people running with desperation. I decided to go check it out thinking maybe the village was under attack.

"Could it be the Akatsuki again? This could be my fault…" I thought to myself as I rushed down two flights of stairs. I suddenly had the strong urge to make sure Gaara was ok. But knowing him, there wouldn't be anything to worry about, but can you blame me for worrying?

**…...**

After I realized it was under control, I heard some people talking how it had randomly started and no one saw how it even happened. With nothing for me to do, I proceeded to my room. I must have left the door open as it swayed a bit back and forth, in such a way only a breeze would do.

"I didn't leave the window open…. Did I?" My voice echoed off the walls and then I heard something fall over in my room. Quickly shoving the door open, I caught a glimpse of a black figure on my window seal; they looked back at me, allowing me to catch a glimpse of what looked like the leaf village symbol on their shoulder. Then quickly it jumped out. I ran to go after it, but when I looked down I saw no trace of anyone. I slammed my wrist onto the window seal then looked back at my room which appeared untouched, besides the knocked over lamp. "How strange…" But something didn't feel right… As I scanned the room, I felt as if something was out of place… And then it hit me. I laid my eyes on the top of my bed stand which was now empty. The sudden emotions of anger, sadness, confusion, was enough for me to begin to lose my edge. The curse mark quickly spread and I felt myself begin to lose control as I fell to my knees and my neck began to burn along with my arms and legs.

"I… I have to control it!" I shouted. "But it's gone… why… why did that have to be taken too?" I could feel what the mark was doing… it became harder to breathe, my consciousness fading… I had thought it to be sealed away, but it constantly wanted to resurface. What were to happen if I lost myself in it completely? What would I become? I held onto my neck as I let out screams of pain, but somewhere hidden in all the pain I felt my chakra increase tremendously. All those thoughts I had thought to be long gone, were coming back and so was the want to kill. "Concentrate Nay…" I kept telling myself. "Concentrate!" In an attempt to try and stop it I struggled to pull out a kunai knife from my pouch, and once I finally did I stabbed myself in the wrist. My will was weak, that was why the curse mark kept trying to take control, even after Orochimaru has been heard to be dead, his evil still continues on. I found myself calling out Gaara's name. Instead, a sand Shinobi I had never seen before came to my door asking what was going on; I slowly rose to my feet, my head facing down, and my thoughts becoming a blur.

The guard offered her a hand, but she merely pressed her hand on his shoulder, enough to send him flying into the wall. He fell to his knees unsure to attack, knowing she was like a guest. Quickly he stood back on his feet. And that was when he noticed the strange marks all over her body. Her head snapped up now like a ghostly figure, he finally met her eyes, now all a solid color, a light glowing green. He began to run towards the door when she suddenly appeared behind him and swung him over her back and then out the window; the glass shattered everywhere.

"Nayumei!" Kankuro shouted. She quickly turned to face him and Gaara who was standing behind him speechless. Standing in disbelief, when they noticed her new appearance and her eyes, never before witnessed by them, they weren't sure what they were seeing was even real. She reached for a sword and got into battle stance facing them with a blank expression. "What do you think you're doing!"

"Gaara…" Nay spoke so softly and was not understood. "Gaara… make it stop… please….make it stops…. I just want it to stop…."

Kankuro prepared to fight her off as she lifted her sword.

"That' chakra… like Uchiha's has progressed…" Gaara spoke oddly while placing a hand on Kankuro's shoulder as to say, that fighting her would be the wrong thing to do. Nay stumbles forward as if ready to charge. Kankuro still on his guard. Gaara begins to walk forward surprising him as Nay raises the sword even more. Tears now begin to roll down her face as her arms begin to shake. Showing them that it's as if she is moving against her will.

"Make it stop!" She tried to shout, but it only came out as a whisper. Gaara's eyes filled with sorrow for her and then filled with surprise as her sword quickly lifted high then aimed for her chest, to end it all. Almost killing herself, at that instant Gaara had rushed grabbing a hold of her hand and fighting it as it struggled to finish its goal. Her eyes met his, and it all seemed to go still. They were so trusting… inviting her to trust him. The grip suddenly loosened as she began to calm down and her eyes appeared as normal again. The sword dropped to the ground.

"I understand now…" Was the last he said as she collapsed into his arms from exhaustion. Kankuro watched in the back as Gaara held onto her, her head on his shoulder lifeless, and watching the marks recede once again.


	39. Chapter 39 Off to the Leaf

"So she has one of those curse marks…" Kankuro spoke, remembering when he had went to assist the leaf Shinobi awhile ago when Sasuke had first left the leaf village to join Orochimaru. "So was she involved with Orochimaru AND the Akatsuki? Was she with both at the same time? What does this mean Gaara?"

He remained silent not sure of the answer himself.

"I mean, its bad enough that she was in the Akatsuki and assisted in taking you, but with Orochimaru as well? This changes everything…" Kankuro continued in such a tone that would cause anyone frustration.

"Why should it change anything? She left that all behind. Do you not see it Kankuro?" Gaara stood from his chair as if about to make some sort of speech. "She came here because she wants to start over, you must not judge her from her past."

"But Gaara! You saw her last night! She has no control, that blood of hers is filled with evil! She's too intertwined with those monsters; it's not a good idea to keep her here any longer!" Kankuro spat. He didn't like to be this way with Gaara and despite him crossing his boundaries, with Gaara being Kazekage; he was merely following his gut feeling. "Think of the village. If she changes like that again who knows what she is capable of."

Gaara lifted his head and looked at him strangely, "You're right…" Kankuro shocked at his brother's reply remained silent for a bit. Until Gaara continued on again. "I only know that last night she had attacked against her will. It's not her fault she is this way. She was merely misguided and if we push her away now, when she has no where else to go, no one else to turn to, then it will be on our conscious if she ends up destroying herself even more."

"But why! Why do you want to help her so badly? Do you…" He paused and chose his words carefully. "Do you love her?" Neither of them said a thing after that for what seemed like a really long time. Kankuro wasn't sure how to react, but knew that he had definitely crossed the line and had no right to ask such a question. "Gaara… I'm sorry."

"Love…?" Gaara thought to himself. "When I look at her I see myself, years ago, "He began and Kankuro tensed up not sure if he had even heard his apology because he had zoned out. "When I was alone, and I had no one to trust or turn to. Thinking, hating was the only way. Nayumei needs our help Kankuro. Isn't that the way of the ninja?" Gaara had begun to remember his encounters with Naruto, the boy who changed his life. Suddenly feeling guilty, Kankuro stared at the ground apologizing once more. But what Gaara was more concerned about was what had happened to trigger what they saw and how would they prevent it from happening again.

**...**

"**Come to me my child…. Come into the darkness…. Come…."**

"**No…"**

"**You can't run away from it…"**

"**Stop…"**

Slowly I rose out of bed, awaking from my sleep. Another dream of being in the dark, voices following me, never leaving my head. But once you hit rock bottom you can only go up from there right? Or you could choose to stay down. Forever in your misery, in the darkness. Which would I pick?

"Make a choice Nay…" I sighed. Last night was a blur, but I remembered enough to know that I had lost control. I looked over at the empty space on my bed stand and sighed some more. Slowly I lifted my legs out of bed; they felt heavy as concrete and then stumbled to my feet. My room looked to have been recently cleaned, but my window was missing. I dressed myself and gathered my weapons in my backpack and headed out the door towards Gaara's working room. Knocking once and ignoring the muffled sounds I heard from inside. Kankuro was standing by him with Temari as I slowly walked towards his desk.

"I know this is possibly the worst time, but I have to go."

"Temari, Kankuro, leave us," Gaara spoke calmly and they left, but not before I receive a look from Kankuro.

"Gaara… I need you to trust me," I began and locked eyes with him.

"I already do," He quickly replied.

"Something very dear to me was stolen last night… I didn't want to say anything earlier, but it's true. And all I know is that they headed to the leaf village and I have to go and get it back. Please… let me go without being followed," I pleaded.

"I can't let you go alone, you are part of this village now and a task like this would be easier dealt with by more than one person," He tried to argue it, but I eventually convinced him. I smiled at him as to give him a peace of mind. But I knew leaving like I would, at such a time wouldn't be the best, so I told him all there was to know. Starting with my business with Orochimaru, and how I ended up choosing the Akatsuki over him. About the multiple attempts of sealing my mark, obviously failed. He then began to tell me about a friend he had in the leaf and to look for him and tell him I sent him. His name was Naruto….

"Oh….Naruto that's right…" I thought to myself. He then explained a safe route to the leaf village so I could maintain my low profile and how I'd have to be careful. He then told me not to take any dangerous risks. Almost felt like he was some sort of older brother.

"You need not worry." And with that being said I quickly rushed off, past the main entrance, and into the sandy hills a far.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A few days later::.::.::.::.::~**

I had no idea what to expect once I'd arrive. I couldn't see that person's face; only that they were from this leaf village. I have never before stepped a foot in there, I wouldn't even know where to begin, where to look. Maybe it be best to go in at night, but once again I was jumping in without a real strategy. Was I really expecting whoever took my necklace would just walk around with it on or something? My only luck would be to get some help, but what if Naruto would hate me? The last time I saw him was when I had gone on that solo mission for Pain to deliver that envelope. I ran into them and we ended up mixing our envelopes. I remember going after them to retrieve it and Naruto's sensei, Yamato had been eyeing me the whole time. Then to my dismay my envelope was taken and they had helped me retrieve it. Only Yamato had tried to stop me and had let out my secret that I was most likely with the Akatsuki. Right when they had cornered me, Deidara had shown up to the rescue. The only thing was that he wouldn't be able to save me this time. Naruto harbored a hatred for Deidara. And after seeing me being taken off by him most likely felt the same way about me now. I suddenly stopped, gasping out of breath and looking around cautiously.

"How the hell am I going to do this?" I groaned and looked back. "Well it's too late to turn around now… Besides…" I placed my hand on the empty spot around my neck and attempted a smile, but it was a smile filled with sorrow. "I have to get it back…no matter the cost. I'll find it." Maybe Naruto will understand once the situation has been explained, hopefully. He seemed like the type to be so forgiving. I looked at the sky and took the time to watch a cloud pass by. While attempting to clear my mind and think of a plan. And after awhile, I had decided the very first thing would be to find Naruto then take it from there. Oh how I hoped he was there. With that in mind, I started on my journey again. Following the route exactly how Gaara had informed me. I knew it was getting closer when I saw faces on mountains of the Hokages from the past. I stopped to look at the beauty of it and then used a jutsu to distract the two Shinobi keeping watch of the entrance. Once inside, I suddenly felt over whelmed and didn't know where to begin. As long as I didn't make any eye contact no one should be able to recognize me and I'd be able to blend in the crowd since my appearance has changed and I dress differently.

**...…...**

I walked and then I walked some more, took a break then walked again. I asked people if they had seen that boy Naruto, but they'd all say the same, "Oh not today." I took a seat on a bench and began to rub my leg that was sore and placed my hands on my face as I sulked.

"Aah… this is going to be more stressful than I had anticipated…." I sighed heavily and watched as a leaf fell from a tree nearby.

"YOU GET BACK HERE!" A girl shouted in a horrifying manner. But it was a familiar voice, and the tone was too! I looked up and noticed Sakura walking after that boy from before, Sai. I felt my heart race as I noticed Naruto not far along ahead of them. They were walking my direction. I suddenly felt a wave of panic and jumped over the bench into some bushes, but hit my knee on a rock and yelped in pain.

"Huh? What the?" Naruto's footsteps came close as I attempted to crawl away when I heard him question what I was doing.

"Whoa did he really recognize me already?" I jumped to my feet and looked to face him, making eye contact and then began to sprint as he called for me to wait, but the slight fear I had in me was taking over at this point.

"Who was that?" Naruto said and scratched the back of his head, puzzled. Sakura and Sai looked at the stranger who ran off. Naruto suddenly bolted after her when a light bulb went off. Sakura called for him, but he didn't look back as he sped up calling for her once more.

"That girl…" Sai thought and turned to Sakura who was paying attention to the fact that Naruto had ditched them and not even thinking why.

"This is what happens when you don't think, stupid!" Just then the branch I stepped on broke and without warning I fell to my face. Before I could even get completely up I heard someone land behind me. I turned so I could face them, still sitting on the ground and suddenly feeling a bit helpless. "Wait!" I asked desperately.

Naruto's eyes widened as he walked forward towards me. "It is you…" He spoke in such a way that left me puzzled. Shouldn't he be angry? Shouldn't he want to kill me? Or did he forget all of that, or did he mistake me for someone else? I blinked several times trying to comprehend which was it and was stunned when he offered me his hand to help me up. I hesitated, but accepted and he helped me up. I gulped not sure how to start when suddenly Sai and Sakura showed up behind him. Sakura scolded him about running off then stopped to stare at me.

"Hey it's you…!" She said suddenly sounding bitter. She stepped forward when Naruto stopped her by simply extending his arm out. "Naruto?"

"Please… allow me to explain," I added nervously.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A few minutes later::.::.::.::.::~**

"And now that's why I'm here, what a coincidence huh?" I laughed nervously. They had taken a seat when they realized my story would be long. I left out some things to avoid questions and was very vague with certain things. Naruto seemed convinced but the other two, not so much.

"If you were part of the Akatsuki then you know of their plans don't you?" Sai blurted out with a distrusting look on his face. I then thought of a lie.

"No. I was merely someone who they used to do their dirty work while they dealt with other things. I was completely out of the loop. I know nothing of their plans. I left because it was not where I belonged and I wished to change my ways," I tried to sound confident and though the last part was true I had hoped they trusted me. Though I knew it would take some time. Things don't just happen in a day.

"But why would a leaf Shinobi take your necklace? And what were they doing over there? I haven't heard of any missions regarding there. It just doesn't make any sense…." Sakura added.

"I know it doesn't…" I replied anxiously.

"So you're staying at the sand village now?" Sakura questioned. Naruto's eyes were glued on me and I felt that if I even flinched it would cause one of them to quickly pull out a knife.

"Yes. The Kazekage accepted me and I've been staying there trying to rebuild my life, but now my necklace has been stolen. I understand if you don't believe me… I wouldn't if I were you. Not with the kind of history I have, but I just thought I should ask if maybe you could help me find it… It belonged to someone and I wish to have it back more than anything…" I continued.

"Nayumei was it?" Naruto interrupted. The first thing he said since I began talking. "I believe you." I didn't understand how he could so easily so asked him what made him think it was such a good idea. Then Sakura added that he always seemed to and was usually never wrong.

"Well you see, ever since I found out you saved that monk from that shrine I knew you were a good person deep inside and now that you're friends with Gaara, well I just can't turn you down! I'll help you find that necklace!"

"Really…" I muffled suddenly feeling a tiny bit emotional. I quickly shook it off and came to my feet. "If you could… could you try and keep me being here a secret? I don't want any trouble I just merely came to get what belongs to me and then I'll go. You have my word."

Sakura and Sai then stood up and exchanged glances. Sakura said she'd try and help, but Sai said he had some things to take care of and walked off. I suddenly felt nervous and like this would be the best time to disappear, turn back around, but then Naruto began ranting about where they could start. We began discussing how maybe it was some imposter or some rogue ninja, but either way it was worth the effort. Though I couldn't get the fact that Sai had left and that I couldn't trust him out of my mind. When Sakura recommended we tell Lady Tsunade about everything I nearly had a heart attack. Naruto said we didn't have to right away, but to think about it and how it would benefit me if I did. It was true though; the chances getting it back would be higher. But she was the Hokage… The minute she'd find out a former Akatsuki member was wandering her village would be my death sentence. Maybe the necklace WAS taken by some rogue ninja? But how could they have known about my necklace? It almost seemed as if they intruded the sand just for it. But why? Who could it have been? What does my necklace have to do with the leaf village?

"Ah so many questions… My head hurts…" I thought to myself.


	40. Chapter 40 Interrogation

"Well I guess it's just us two," Naruto added shyly. Sakura said she had to go do something, but I'm sure she was just tired of looking around for something that might not even be here. We did just spend an entire day looking for it. I was still trying to get over the fact that they appeared to have accepted me so quickly. How can some people trust others so easily? It just seems so dangerous and even a little stupid. But it's not like I had any negative intentions anyways. My days as a criminal were to be put behind me. Killing, only if absolutely necessary, but that's already expected from a ninja. Naruto invited me to eat at some favorite place of his. It was definitely worth the break. I tried to describe as best as I could to whom this figure looked like. I'd close my eyes and try and remember. It appeared to have either black or brown hair and was most likely a man because of the broad shoulders. Naruto must have seen how tired I was and suddenly changed the subject about how he knew a place I could stay at. I declined, feeling bad enough already for showing my face around here.

"Hey Nay, listen," Naruto began.

"Yes?"

"It's just that, well, you should know that you can trust me. And Sakura too," He added.

"What about Sai?" I asked. His expression once so soft, seemed to tighten up a bit. "Eh don't worry about him either."

"Oh okay… if you say so..." I mumbled and took my last bite of food before we both headed off. We both agreed it be better to search in the morning and to meet up by that bench we first met. I honestly didn't know how much longer I planned to stay here. How long should I invest in this? Over a necklace… I looked back noticing Naruto was gone and proceeded to look for a nice hidden tree to slumber on. Yup, was going to stay in a tree. In the hurry I was in I forgot to bring money with me. I passed several dark allies and wondered what would be better suited for me. Suddenly the feeling of being watched and followed, hit me like a ton of bricks. I continued to look natural while slowly pulling out a knife from my pouch, when suddenly I was slammed against a wall and my arms pinned behind my back.

"Ah! Let go of me!"

"We found her," It spoke as if wearing a mask over its face. I tried to move, to catch a glimpse of who it was, and suddenly felt my eyes begin to close and myself getting drowsy. Falling lifelessly onto the ground, the last thing I saw was a pair of shoes.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A few hours later::.::.::.::.::~**

Someone poured a bucket of freezing cold water on me, brining me awake abruptly. Suddenly shivering uncontrollably and discovering I was tied to a chair and blind folded, the fear began. The water dripped from my hair and onto my arms, tied onto the chair's arms.

"Where am I?" I called out and heard footsteps walking towards me, followed by the sound of a bucket dropping. I barely lifted my head trying to figure out what this could be.

"You're in the leaf village. Under special orders we have been assigned to gather information regarding the Akatsuki," Someone spoke.

"Am I…" I started and tightened my grip on the arm chair. "Am I being interrogated?"

I heard a door open and another pair of footsteps walk towards me. I began to fidget and only caused my arms and leg to feel sore. I shouldn't be so surprised… Of course I'd been figured out, I only hoped that they, who ever they were, would allow me to explain myself. But if I were to tell them of all I knew of the Akatsuki then I may never leave again. The other person answered my question with a harsh yes and then added they were prepared to kill me if necessary. Could it be Anbu black ops, I heard so much about before? I began to get nervous as I asked for the blind fold to be removed. Of course they ignored my question and began with their own. Starting with why I came here. When I explained my necklace had been stolen they called me a liar. How was I suppose to get anywhere with them if they didn't believe me?

"Where are the Akatsuki located?"

"I don't know! I don't know anything about them. I no longer communicate with them. They could be anywhere for all I know," I began to panic and felt a sudden rush that was empowering. My head was pulled back roughly by my hair, and I felt one's breath on my ear.

"We know you know. Don't make this any worse!" He shouted.

"I just… I just came for my necklace I swear! I have no intentions to do any harm, please," I pleaded, but another bucket of water was poured onto my face.

"We'll keep you as long as it takes. We have no intentions of setting you free. Of all the crimes you've committed you are submitted to the death penalty. You're lucky to be even breathing right now."

With every minute that passed, I felt my anger increase, my nerves combined with the shivering of the cold I was in, was starting to make my breathing heavy. I tried to concentrate as I felt the area around my neck begin to tingle. If I were to change right now… it would all be over. I suddenly thought of Gaara and Naruto and tried again, by explaining how I was merely used by the Akatsuki and was living in the sand village. But of course they wouldn't believe me. After what seemed like hours of going back and forth, covering the same ground, the same answers, and same questions they began to get impatient.

"Let's just kill her now!" One shouted. Suddenly I heard a sword slowly being lifted from its case just a few inches from my face. "Would you like us to add onto the scars all over your arms and legs?" He spoke malevolently. The other discussed of this jutsu to hypnotize me to telling the truth and how the sword was unnecessary. I tried to remain calm as if I had no secrets to tell. But never hearing of such a thing was causing my panic to increase even more. My neck began pulsating and I suddenly found myself calling for help and calling for Naruto.

"Naruto?" One of them asked suddenly in a different tone of voice. "Why would she be calling for his aid?" He thought to himself and asked the other for permission to report to Lady Tsunade. Within seconds I heard him leave. I laid my head back as the pain increased and I felt the mark begin to awaken.

"No… make it stop!" I shouted desperately.

"Is that the? How!" The Anbu had no choice, but to knock me unconscious.

**…...**

The other Anbu had arrived at the Hokage's office, reporting of the progress they had with their prisoner. She sat behind her desk taking in this new information. She was rather aggravated that she would not spill anything regarding the Akatsuki organization and began to wonder if her memories were erased or if she was merely lying to protect them. Yamato had walked in asking how things were going with her. The one who had turned her in after spotting her wandering by herself.

"My lady," The Anbu started. "During her questioning she began to call for Naruto. Perhaps the boy knows something."

"Huh? Naruto?" Lady Tsunade looked down at her desk trying to understand, why? Yamato confused as well with this new information requested to retrieve him, but suddenly the other Anbu had arrived.

"My lady, the girl…" He added blankly before explaining the new situation.

"What?" Lady Tsunade stood from her chair and stared at him surprised. "A curse mark?"

"She's been involved with the Akatsuki and Orochimaru? Doesn't this make her an even bigger threat?" The other Anbu questioned. Lady Tsunade began to think and asked Yamato to fetch Naruto, hoping he'd be able to solve everything.

"But my lady," The Anbu continued. "It had only begun to spread when she had started pleading for it to stop, as if she was fighting it." Yamato stopped, listened to the last of their conversation before exiting.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A while later::.::.::.::.::~**

Awakening again, the Anbu had said I was being transferred locations. It had seemed like almost a week that I had been here. I was used to all the suffering, but still always hoping that it would all get better. Because that's how I had become. I was at rock bottom for sure, but I had decided that I wasn't going to stay there. I was going to make my life better, even if it WAS one slow step at a time. My muscles were stiff from sitting for so long. My arms and legs sore from the ropes and my mouth dry from being thirsty. I tried to ignore the soreness as we walked up a bunch of stairs. Thankful that we finally made it to level ground. We walked to what seemed like a long hallway until finally coming to a stop. The door opened and we walked inside. My hands still tied behind my back and the Anbu's tight grip around my arm.

"Nayumei!" I heard Naruto's voice that gave me such a huge relief. I felt my blindfolded being untied and then it was gone. I slowly opened my eyes to look around and saw Naruto, his sensei Yamato, two men in animal like masks who must have been the Anbu, and a woman who appeared really young sitting behind a desk, with another woman standing by her.

"This is her?" The woman asked and stared into my eyes as if to try and see through me. Such a piercing expression that I suddenly felt goose bumps. The Anbu made me walk a bit forward towards her and I watched as Naruto's expression read a bit of worriment. "Nayumei Akada, wanted in the grass village, former member of the Akatsuki, and an experiment of Orochimaru…" Lady Tsunade thought to herself.

"I didn't come here to cause trouble… I…" I began to speak nervously and was interrupted when the woman, Naruto called Lady Tsunade began to speak about how Naruto had told them everything. How I left and was residing in the sand, all the way to my necklace being stolen, and leading me to here. But somehow I didn't feel any better. Why was I still tied then? Suddenly an Anbu pulled out a knife and walked towards me, causing me to step back. "Wait…" But to my surprise he cut me free. My arms dangled on my sides, slightly pink from the irritation and I looked up at them as she officially introduced herself as the Hokage. They asked again if I knew anything and if so they needed to know immediately. They trusted me enough, should I trust them then? Should I really tell them everything I know? About the plans? I suddenly remembered back when Pain had first brought up Sasuke and how Naruto and his team would be looking for him. Could it be Sasuke was from here? I sighed and looked down at the ground. By my information being leaked, it would mean my death for certain.

"Alright… I'll tell you everything."

Naruto's shocked expression gave me a bit of hesitation, but I continued anyways. Lady Tsunade grinned as I began with how all the Jinchuuricki were a part of this plan to take over the world. Though I know I was never told everything, I gave them all the information I did know. I knew deep down there was a lot of it, I was never told and perhaps that was the most important.

"You did well Nayumei," Lady Tsunade said once I was finished. I did feel better, sort of as if this giant weight was lifted from my shoulders. I looked passed them and out the window as a blue bird flew by, I suddenly remembered my pet squirrel that had disappeared and looked down at my feet again, thinking back to the current subject. Did I really do the right thing? The rest I couldn't really remember, but I then told them about how Orochimaru was dead, which they already seemed to know, and then the most important of all. How Sasuke had joined and they were planning to destroy the leaf village. It seemed as if they already knew this and by Naruto's expression I could tell it was a painful reminder.

"About you're necklace." Lady Tsunade added. "A couple of our Shinobi were on a mission when they were ambushed, and their clothes were taken. Now it's just a hunch but whoever this person was could be the one who stole your necklace. They must have used the leaf as some sort of cover to throw you off, but needless to say we'll continue looking for it here, but I just don't think it is here," She sounded apologetic and watched as my expression suddenly filled with sorrow. Could this person who took it, really be my mother? But why? Naruto walked towards me placing a hand on my shoulder.

"You'll find it, I know you will," He smiled wide, and I felt a warm feeling begin to grow inside.

"Thank you. But I guess that means I have no business staying here…" I spoke softly.

"Actually I have a question for you," Yamato finally spoke up. I stared at him waiting for what he was to say next."It's about that curse mark…You see, we have the ability here to try and seal it again, If you'd like to let us try."

I placed my hand on my neck considering it and agreed to it if it wasn't much trouble. Lady Tsunade seemed pleased and Yamato said we could start it immediately. I looked at everyone in the room and they all gave me the ok look. So I followed him and the Anbu, not sure what to expect, but hoping that it would work. I would never want it to take control of me ever again. I started to say my goodbyes when suddenly Naruto had stopped me, asking if I wanted one more bowl of ramen later before I left. A smile spread across my face as I accepted and left the room.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A while later::.::.::.::.::~**

"You can come back and visit any time you want Nay, You're welcome here, and maybe next time you can bring Gaara eh?" Naruto chuckled and stuffed his face some more. He seemed to be in love with the food as I saw it quickly disappear, then he asked for more. I was sore and exhausted and didn't feel as hungry. Suddenly a light bulb went off inside me.

"That's right! Gaara!" I thought to myself and suddenly felt excited to get back. I finally had a place to call my home. If people like Naruto and Gaara existed in this world, then there was hope in my future. I smiled for what seemed like the first time in a really long time and then asked for a second bowl myself. After we both were full he walked me to the exit, where to my surprise I saw Kankuro and Temari walking towards it.

"What…" I stuttered.

"Hey!" Kankuro called with a slight grin on his face, actually sounding like he was glad to see me. "Gaara was getting worried, so we came looking for ya."

I felt tears begin to stream down my face. They weren't tears of sorrow, or tears of fear, but tears of happiness. Were they actually worried about me? Did I finally find people to wonder where'd I go and if I'd be ok? I think I might have… But how could they forget all the bad I have done so quickly? Just how could it be so easy? I may never understand. I quickly wiped the tears away as they greeted Naruto, who they seem to already know. We said our goodbyes and thanked Naruto for everything he had done for me. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't have been freed or even listened too. This guy seemed to have a power over people, to influence them in a positive way, and now he was influencing me. Kankuro, Temari and I began our departure back to the sand and the leaf village began to disappear behind us, but my smile didn't.


	41. Chapter 41 Deidara's Warning

"So then what do you plan to do Nay?" Kankuro asked exactly what everyone else was thinking. I looked directly at Gaara whose eyes were looking deeply into mine.

"I don't know…" I sighed. "I mean I guess I could go look for her back where I last saw her, but I doubt she'll be there. I mean it has to be her who took it, and going back to the most predictable place would be stupid."

"You should rest," Gaara answered. Kankuro stared back at him and then at me, suddenly making an excuse to go, and telling Temari to go with him. He gave me a look as if to tell me to take this opportunity to talk to Gaara while we're alone. I was puzzled, did Kankuro assume something? Did he already figure me out? Or what if it was Gaara who had something to say? Or maybe someone saw that I almost kissed him? I suddenly felt embarrassed remembering the scene again. I walked towards the window to look over the village as Gaara shuffled some papers.

"That boy Naruto… Is he the one you meant back then?"

He turned to face me with little expression on his face. He then nodded and began to tell me a little more about himself. And about the Chuunin exams, how he fought Sasuke, then Orochimaru had attacked the village and Gaara had gone after Sasuke, but fought Naruto instead and how Naruto had changed him after they fought. I wanted to tell him good things about myself, but couldn't really think of any. But I knew deep down it'll all be forgotten soon. I can start fresh now. Make new great memories as I go, to replace all the bad ones, start with one good act after another, and I'll be on my way to a happy life, just like I always wanted. Gaara suddenly interrupted my thinking by telling me to go sleep, so I left to my room.

**~::.::.::.::.:: Later that Night::.::.::.::.::~**

I woke up and found myself lying in the middle of a hallway that was slightly flooded. The sound of a broken faucet dripping water slowly was off in the distant. It was the only sound there was, besides my hair dripping as I rose confused as to where I was. What had happened? I heard a bird chirping and looked up to see a door at the end of the hallway, slightly opened, and a white light behind it. Slowly, I began to walk towards it, anxious to see what was behind it what was making so much light. It seemed the more I walked towards it, the farther away it seemed to get. So I began to run, suddenly feeling excited as to what I might find. The possibilities were endless. I finally found myself touching the door and shoving it open. What I saw next only puzzled me more. There was a lake, grass hills all around and even lily pads floating in the water, and a tree off in the distant with a figure sitting under it.

"Hey?" I called after it. As I got closer the silhouette became clearer. They were wearing a black cloak and had their head down, almost as if they had been sleeping. Their blond hair swayed in the wind and once they had heard me close enough lifted their head to finally face me. "Deidara….?" I stuttered coming to the realization.

"Nay? I thought I'd never see you again…" His voice seemed almost unfamiliar; it had seemed so long ago since I last heard him spoke. Since I even saw him face to face like this. He offered me a seat next to him and without even thinking I took it. Simply looking at him dumbfounded.

"I… I don't understand. What are you doing here Dei?" I finally blurted out and interrupted what appeared as if he was day dreaming, staring into space. He crossed his arms behind his head and leaned against the tree.

"Did you not miss me Nay, un?" He locked eyes with me and smiled. For a second I got lost in his eyes, his smile, and couldn't think of an answer. Maybe I did miss Deidara a little. Maybe I did miss the good times we had long ago when I first joined. Maybe I even missed Hidan and Pain, and the others. Did that mean I missed that rush I got from killing too? Or missed the missions I had to do? He suddenly placed a hand on my cheek as to bring me back to focusing on him. I stared into his eyes and felt the nerves begin. My cheeks turned a light shade of pink and I began to wander, was he going to kiss me? Did I want him to, even after all that had happened?

"You changed Deidara, Remember?" I snapped back and pushed his hand away. It had startled him and I could see the slight pain in his eyes.

"Oh that's not very fair," He began and sat up straight again. "As I recall you're the one who changed first. You decided to leave us behind remember? I loved you... I was so hurt when I found you with him." He said the last part angrily, but for the most part it sounded like pure sarcasm.

"That's enough Dei. Someone like you can only love himself."

"Hm? You're forgetting that you're the one that's been selfish. You leave people because of what YOU want. You don't consider anyone else's feelings but your own. You don't stop to think how your actions are going to affect the people around you, do you? You think you're the only one bad things happen to? Let me tell you my little Nay-chan, have you ever thought to think how many lives you've impacted? How many family members you have slaughtered! Yeah don't go pointing your pretty little finger at others. You should be pointing it at yourself!" Suddenly standing, he roughly grabbed me by the arms causing me to stand then dragged me towards the lake and forced me to kneel and look down at the water.

"Look at you're reflection and tell me what you see!" He snapped. I opened my eyes and stared at myself. I hadn't even noticed I was back in the Akatsuki cloak. My gloomy green eyes stared back at me, they were wondering the same thing, who the hell was I? Suddenly they turned into those of Orochimaru's and the mark on my neck began to spread across my face. "You see? You're no different! Take a closer look!" Deidara spat. I began to shake my head with my eyes closed trying to erase it all, but suddenly began to remember my crimes. One right after another.

"Stop it!" I shouted and tried to free myself from his grip, but I remained in the same place, suddenly frozen as my reflection grinned back at me. A snake had come out of nowhere, suddenly swimming around it. Was it suppose to symbolize Orochimaru's influence still remained around me and within me? I continued to shake my head begging him to let go, for it to all just go away.

"Nay come back to us, come back and we can help you better than Gaara or anyone else ever can! You belong to us and always will!" He shouted. His grip suddenly loosened and I fell into the water. I struggled at first, as I tried to stay at the top, but quickly began to sink to the bottom. I reached my hand up as the water entered my mouth; suddenly it had become so hard to breath. Deidara pulled me from the water and I began to cough as I tried to regain my balance.

"Nay are you ok? Did I hurt you?" Deidara asked innocently. I shoved him and he fell on his back and I began to run back to the door that was still open. Orochimaru's laugh suddenly filled the air, followed by Zetsu's and then Deidara himself as I continued to run towards the door, once again getting farther and farther away.

"I'm not that person anymore… I've changed!" I shouted as I heard Gaara's voice calling my name.

"Nay wait!" Deidara suddenly shouted. I turned around to see him standing right in front of me. He placed his hands on my shoulders and stared at me with that very soft expression of his. "I came to warn you."

"Warn me? About what?" I waited for his reply, but he hesitated and looked sincerely worried and troubled. It was like catching a glimpse of the old Deidara, the one I used to admire so much. The one that I used to be crazy about and made me happy. I can't believe I honestly used to think I had a future with him and the others. "Deidara!"

"Listen to me! Everything is not how it seems! You have to watch you're back. Don't ever let your guard down," He sounded desperate as if his time was running out.

"Dei what are you trying to say?" I grabbed his hands and tried to get the information out of him, but felt myself quickly fading. Being brought back from wherever I was. "Deidara!"

"I love you," His words began to fade, as I felt myself being pulled away.

"Deidara! Wait!" I shouted, but I was back in the dark hallway, now filled with water. I struggled through it, to get back to the door, but it was closing. I tried leaping for it, but it was too late. As soon as I fell into the depths of darkness, I felt my eyes open and my breathing become heavy. I looked around my room and then at the floor as if to check for water. I placed my hands over my head to try and calm myself, keep myself together.

"It was a dream….?" My voice echoed and I quickly got out of bed to stare out the window, a habit of mine. Something about looking at the sky was just so relaxing and comforting in a way and right now I just needed some kind of comfort.

"**I love you." **

Deidara's last words continued to repeat as I stared at the moon remembering the times I had spent with him flying on his clay bird. The missions we took. But why now all of a sudden remembering all of this? Did my dream mean something? What did Deidara's warning even mean? Should I even put thought into this? People do dream all the time about random strange things. It doesn't always necessarily mean there's meaning to it. But what if it was real? I sighed as I thought of the way Deidara spoke when he told me, that too was nothing but a dream, a figment of my imagination. He was always sarcastic when he spoke and I'm sure to him it was just something to keep him distracted when he was bored. Like I had told myself before, none of that was even real. That wasn't love, merely a crush.

"I don't love him…. I think I love someone else," I whispered to the wind as it blew away with my secret.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A few days later::.::.::.::.::~**

"Do I have to sort ALL of these out?" I gasped as I saw a pile of papers Gaara asked me to organize. Being Kazekage seemed even more tiring than being an actual ninja. Not to mention sitting for most of the day. Well there were times where he'd have to go off too, so I guess it wasn't all about filling out papers and what not. He always seemed so calm, like nothing really phased him, how I wish I could be that calm all the time, but maybe inside he was wanting a way out of it. "Gaara?" He lifted his head and made eye contact with me.

"I'll do all of this, if you promise to take a break soon and we can go eat. How does that sound?" I tried to sound mature, but to be honest I haven't had a decent meal in awhile and the thought of something delicious was making me excited. He agreed and went back to what he was doing. "That was easier than I thought…"

"I've been thinking about leaving soon to look for my mother again. Just so you know," I added.

"I know."

It seemed as if he wasn't in the mood to talk today. So I began on the stack of papers like he had asked. Knowing that at the end, my reward would be something like rice balls or curry or even dumplings. I began to wander if I should tell Gaara of my dream, but what if he got upset about it? Wait a minute, that would be out of his character. I decided to keep it to myself, like I always do. Eventually I'd hope that I would be able to tell him everything openly and that he'd tell me things too.

"So about your ranking," Gaara began. I stopped what I was doing to face him. "You were a Jounin correct?"

"Eh yeah… well I mean I used to be."

"You used to be?" He question.

"I can't quite put my finger on it, but there are times when I'm very strong, but other times well not so much, and I honestly think now I don't think I am a Jounin," I began to ramble and it seemed to go through one of his ears and out the other. What the hell was I saying? I explained to him that the grass village at the time was desperate for higher ranked Shinobi and that was probably the reason I was promoted so soon. But then how I did develop jutsus a lot faster than the others and it was probably just the group of kids that weren't very strong. Or maybe there were times the curse mark had given me its strength and other times nothing, which made a difference. I honestly don't know why it had happened, and why at times my energy is just not there. He then asked if I was willing to be tested so I can finally feel like I belonged here, as a Shinobi of the sand. I gladly accepted.


	42. Chapter 42 A Rival in Love

"You're leaving?" I was the last to know that Gaara had some business to take care of and it required himself in person. Was I supposed to be left behind? First time being alone here without him to help me? Just the thought of him being away was suddenly causing me a feeling of sadness and anger. Oh no… It was too late I had become attached.

"Kankuro and Temari will meet us there," Gaara added.

"Wait… Us?" I questioned and walked towards him. He didn't seem to understand why I was asking and suddenly I felt a little dumb when he explained that I'd be going with him as a sort of body guard. Though to be honest it's not like he needed one. But since he was Kazekage it was part of the rules or something. I was starting to like living here, don't get me wrong, but leaving it every once and awhile was good too. I mean, everyone needs a sort of vacation every now and then. Before we left he said the test I had to take would have to be postponed for awhile. I of course didn't argue with that.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A few days later::.::.::.::.::~**

"Gaara, we've been trying to figure this whole thing with Nayumei's mother for weeks now, don't you think you should let her search again?" Kankuro had walked in with a box and waited for Gaara's reply, but he remained silent as if he was thinking of the suggestion. It had been awhile since she got back from the leaf village and since they got back from their small mission. She past the days training with a sand Shinobi Kankuro requested and even with Temari for awhile. But the thing was, Nayumei always jumped into things without a plan, and that just wasn't Gaara's style. He knew Nayumei was trying to get comfortable here and they hadn't had any real trouble for awhile and she was finally starting to experience a normal life. But he also knew deep down that as everyday past she was getting more impatient with the mystery of her mother. Her heart already severely damaged, could not fully begin to heal until this mystery was solved. But not knowing if her mother was dangerous or not or where she could even have gone was a problem and it was holding everything back.

"I'm not the one holding her here," He assured him. If only he knew, that in a way he was.

**…...**

"Wait, Temari why take a break now?" I brushed the hair out of my face and panted while dropping my weapons.

"There's no need to push yourself, you're already strong," Temari sighed as she walked towards me, my eyes shut from the pain I was in. I hadn't trained this hard in so long and I was definitely rusty in my techniques. If I was going to be by Gaara's side, I wanted to feel worthy. But most of all I wanted to defend myself always. No more being saved, no more putting others in danger for my sake. "Why don't we get something to eat?" Temari spoke in such a sweet and caring tone, it was a little odd since I've seen her for majority of the time, strict and in a bad mood. Was it weird that I was starting to view her as a sort of sister friend figure? Come to think of it, every friend I did make never stuck around long enough. I haven't had one long lasting friendship. I never really thought I needed it, but now when I wasn't really looking, I suddenly had it all.

"Sure," I smiled and followed after her as we discussed my progress. Ever since Yamato helped seal the curse mark, my chakra has decreased. I never even noticed how much I had been depending on and how much it had helped me. I had been using it without even feeling it and now that it was suppressed, hopefully for good, it was almost as if I was starting over. Having to learn to use my own chakra and use the same strong jutsus from before. Suddenly a girl called for Temari, taking both of our attentions. A girl I have never seen before with short light brown hair, dark eyes and a tomboyish like appearance was panting heavily mumbling something.

"Matsuri what is it?" Temari sounding a bit annoyed. She pulled her aside as they began to discuss something. I wasn't able to hear anything so I looked the other direction towards some kids throwing a ball around back and forth. They giggled with faces full of absolute joy when I suddenly remembered how I used to watch kids like that from my window.

**"****Hey, why aren't you playing?" I was confused. He was alone.**

**"Well… no one wants to…" That red haired boy shyly spoke.**

**"Stay away from that boy, child! He is a monster!" A villager shouted.**

**"Leave her alone!" Gaara had shouted.**

"Nayumei, I have some business to attend to, we'll talk later," Temari suddenly brought me out of my daze and I nodded as she walked off with a serious look on her face. Something important must have come up. Matsuri had stayed behind and was eyeing me carefully. I'm sure by now word must have gotten out that a former Akatsuki member was now living among the rest of the villagers, or perhaps the Akatsuki part was left out. So I hoped. Maybe this girl was deciding whether or not to trust me. She looked just about my age, perhaps a bit younger, and a little naïve. I finally asked her why she was looking at me so strangely and she suddenly got embarrassed and laughed nervously explaining that I was just different than she expected.

"I don't follow," I plainly stated.

"Uh… Why don't we go get something to eat yes? You're Nayumei correct?" She tried to sound mature, but was only coming across as a bit fake. So I agreed and we walked and talked. The sand village had a very nice restaurant with dumplings and my favorite, spicy curry. We stayed there for a good while, talking about small things. Her, mostly talking about herself. Then out of nowhere she had brought up that she was Gaara's only student. I didn't even know he was sensei before. But as soon as that was brought up she jumped to a new subject that the sand has some great actives going on if I just took the time to look around.

"Eh well I haven't been here long and haven't really had time to enjoy myself," I added shyly.

"Oh? Why is that?" She paused then apologized for being nosy and asked if I planned to stay here. I had hoped so, but I honestly wasn't so sure if this would be my permanent home or just a temporary thing. Who knows, maybe I wouldn't even be living much longer with all the things I still had to take care of. But I couldn't tell her all this. It would be overwhelming. She seemed too light hearted like nothing ever seemed to go wrong in her life, or perhaps it was just some sort of act, or maybe she was good at hiding her true emotions too. We left the restaurant and began to walk around. The time suddenly seemed to slow down and I was becoming bored. There was something about this girl that was unsettling, but I just didn't know it yet. I was friendly, though not something I was used too. Having to start over and getting to know new people was rather exhausting really. Matsuri stopped and looked at me suddenly getting a bit serious.

"Nay I- I have to ask you something!" She spat. I scratched my head at her sudden bit of hostility wondering if I had said something wrong. "What is you're relationship with Gaara!"

"W- Whaat…" I murmured. The look on her face read that the question was troubling her. Slight blushes on her face, from anger and perhaps fear of what I was to say. Wait a second why should she care? What WAS the answer to her question? I looked to the side avoiding the piercing look she was giving me trying to think of what to say. She had gotten impatient and began to talk with desperation how she knew how much we had been spending time together. Now I was slightly blushing, but that quickly faded as I became annoyed. Then she apologized stating the obvious, that it wasn't her business.

"Yeah we have been spending a lot of time together, but we are just merely friends," I emphasized the friend part and watched the drops of sweat fall from her face. Why was she so upset about this? It just wasn't fully registering. Was it because Gaara was no longer training with her? She should know he's a busy guy now. I thought we were getting along just fine until she began to bark at me about something that was just… just not anything.

"Do you love him?" Her words suddenly brought my mind to go blank. It was the same question I had been asking myself for awhile now. But hearing it out loud by something who was practically a stranger, well I was just beyond the point of being uncomfortable. Matsuri suddenly placed her hands on my shoulders and began to shake me, as she tried to hold back tears. Trying desperately to maintain serious. "You've only been here a short time and I-" She stuttered. "I've always been here!" She pushed me and I fell on my butt, completely dumbfounded. She stepped back with her hands over her mouth as I looked up at her, to try and understand her.

"Matsuri…" I slowly stood back on my feet and observed the look of sorrow in her eyes. "Do you love Gaara?"

She quickly denied it and told me I shouldn't jump to conclusions, but just what was she doing then? If Matsuri really loved Gaara, could it be he loved her back? Or he used to? Did he even know of her feelings for him, or was this all just recent. A crush maybe? How long has this been going on? I couldn't even imagine how it felt like to be invisible to someone for so long. Oh but I sort of did. I began to think of what that word really meant and the deep meaning it held to some people.

"Nay… I'm so sorry…" Matsuri whispered as she tried to regain her composure. Without a single word I looked away and began to walk off. Neither of us spoke again, and it suddenly began to rain. The drops, tingled as they hit my light colored skin.

**~::.::.::.::.:: Later that night ::.::.::.::.::~**

**"Nay come back to us, come back and we can help you better than Gaara or anyone else ever can! You belong to us and always will!"**

**"Hm? You're forgetting that you're the one that's been selfish. You leave people because of what YOU want. You don't consider anyone else's feelings but your own. You don't stop to think how your actions are going to affect the people around you, do you? You think you're the only one bad things happen to? Let me tell you my little Nay-chan, have you ever thought to think how many lives you've impacted? How many family members you have slaughtered! Yeah don't go pointing your pretty little finger at others. You should be pointing it at yourself!"**

**"Look at you're reflection and tell me what you see!"**

I walked towards a mirror near my bed stand and took a long look at myself. What do I see? I see someone who has been through enough! Why do I have to deal with this now? I sat at the end of my bed and sighed as I remembered how upset Matsuri had gotten. She loves Gaara…. And so do I. Or do I really? I tightened my grip on the bed sheets and in frustration knocked over my lamp on the bed stand. Maybe I didn't need this after all. I mean what if I do love Gaara? That doesn't mean he loves me. It might appear that way, but I could just be over thinking and over analyzing. To him he is just merely helping someone in need. Like some sort of pity for someone who is lost. How could I have been so blind? What the hell does love even mean? It'll only cause me more pain in the end… like it always does. Nothing lasts forever. Besides, it's been proven over and over that no one can truly ever love me and stay by my side. There was no time to waste on something as silly as that.

"Love doesn't exist!" I shouted and scattered some papers I had near my bed. They spread throughout the room and I stared down at the picture I found in the box Kankuro had brought me. My mother's smile looked back at me, almost like she was mocking me.

"**You're just like… You're mother…"**

"Wait….Could it be that Orochimaru and my mother… worked together somehow…" I quickly went for my things and packed my backpack as I tried to piece together this mystery.

"**You had all hat power and didn't want it"**

Why was she at that village? And why did she go through all the trouble to steal my necklace, but not face me? WHY! Why did she run from me?

"I have no choice but to go… And this time I won't come back until this is over."


	43. Chapter 43  A Desperate Situation

**"You've only been here a short time and I-…. I've always been here!"**

I shook away Matsuri's words as I sped up towards the same village I had been to before with Gaara. I was going back and forth with the whole love dilemma, and trying to solve my mother's mystery. They both needed to be solved and be put out of the way. The only problem was that they just couldn't be solved at the same time to make it easier on me. My body was tired, but I continued to push myself. Night had fallen once again, and I had already been traveling two full days with only stopping twice. My heart had been racing, unsure of what I might find, my only mind set, I would not return to the sand if my mystery was unsolved. For it would forever be my turmoil. And maybe I was even prepared to search for months, however long it took, maybe even for the rest of my life. Gaara would understand. Besides he only wished to help me, and he did, his job is done. So there's no use for him now.

"Matsuri can have him…." I muttered and felt tears form at the corner of my eyes. They were swept away as I sped up even more. Why did it hurt so badly? To lose something I never even had…

**~::.::.::.::.:: A few days later::.::.::.::.::~**

"That's why you're only supposed to carry what you can manage!" A man shouted towards a worker of his. I looked around the busy village for some sort of clue, maybe even hopelessly wishing my mother had nowhere else to go and was around here somewhere despite knowing I'd come back. I unzipped my backpack and pulled out a picture with my mother in it, stopping to observe it myself before asking a random person if they had seen her.

"No dear, I'm sorry no," The frail woman kindly replied then walked off. The same answer was given from nearly everyone I had asked. I couldn't be at the wrong village, could I? My mother was working here; she must have been here for awhile at least. Could it be she was just unnoticed? Invisible to the world? Nothing more than a simple worker? The longer I continued the more determined I got, but discouraged as well. Every heartbreaking answer was just fuel to the fire that I'd find someone with a yes. It seemed hours had gone by and I was only just beginning. The village was a lot bigger than I had remembered. Finally taking a break, I sat down to rest before continuing on again. Several days had past it seemed. I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention to the time. I was so anxious and tired to even count how many sunsets had gone by. But it seemed I was gone from the sand for almost two weeks now. With absolutely no luck whatsoever. I decided not to spend my money at some Inn so found a place under a tree not too far away. Once again the night had fallen and I was exhausted, I sat alone and pulled my knees under my chin, watching as the breeze played with the grass and I began to think.

**"I'll try and be back tomorrow…"**

**"She's been drinking as usual…"**

"**I'm sorry I was a bad mother… I promise I'll be back."**

**"Promise?" **

My mother was a drunk, so cruel, yet so lost as I was. I thought back to the times she pushed me, rejected my cooking, and couldn't even look at me at times. I couldn't help but think if she had been in the right state of mind than she would have never acted like that. Before that fateful day with somber news she had always been so held together even after my sister's death. Then suddenly she had changed. I closed my eyes and tried to remember when it all went down hill.

**…...**

"Mom, I can't find my…" I looked around the room not comprehending what was going on. "Why are there Shinobi in our home?" I weakly asked. One of them turned to face me and attempted a smile, placing their hand on my shoulder telling me not to be scared and that I have to be strong now. I could only stare past him at my mother who was crying in her hands on the couch. What had happened? Moments later they had left telling her if we needed anything to let them know. Once they left my mother had changed forever. She rose and began to throw things, frightening me, she hadn't even seen me. I watched from the corner of the room as the tears fell down from her face, then suddenly she stared out the window, making a fist and griping it so tight that I thought I saw a drop of blood fall from her palm.

"Mom?" I began to walk towards her, suddenly wanting to cry myself. "What's going on?"

She turned to face me with a weak smile as she told me the same thing the sand Shinobi did. **"You have to be strong."**

Moments later she had told me my father would not return. I was young, but I knew exactly what that meant. The days took forever to pass after that, she'd spend a lot of time looking out the window as if she was waiting for him, or looking for something. Maybe wondering how she would continue on. Soon after that, was when she began drinking.

**...…**

I quickly stood when I had realized something, "The tavern!" Perhaps my mother's ways never changed and she still drank. I began to run towards the village, hoping she'd be around or maybe recently seen. Anything to lead me towards the right direction. Once inside I tired to maintain calm and natural so as not to bring unnecessary attention to myself. The last thing I needed right now is to find her without even knowing, and then scaring her off. She had to be here somewhere! The feeling I had that she was near, would not go away and I knew I just had to follow my gut feeling this time. It had to mean something right? It just had to. Minutes past, my heart sank even more when I had realized she wasn't in there. At the moments weakness I began to wonder if I should give up. After all, she didn't want to see me, but I had to see for myself just one more time… I shook away the doubts and took a seat at a table and placed my head down on my crossed arms.

"Ugh! Come on already…" I sighed and was startled when a hand slammed right next to me. I looked up to see a dark skin colored man with scars on his face looking down at me angrily.

"You're in my seat!" He spat, obviously intoxicated. For some reason he reminded me of Hidan. It was the way he looked at me and the way he spoke that suddenly brought back memories I had with him. The main thing in common was the lack of manners.

"It doesn't have you're name on it," I replied calmly. No intention to fight. Only if absolutely necessary. He became more aggravated and knocked over a cup. I slowly rose to walk out when he placed his hand on my shoulder to look at him.

"Hm? Weren't you here yesterday?" He stuttered.

"What!" I gasped and then he fell to the floor unconscious, dragging me by the arm. I knelt next to him trying to wake him up, but it was no good. What if by some odd coincidence the person he was referring to was really my mother? This could only mean she WAS around somewhere! Someone tapped me on the back, bringing me to my senses. I quickly stood up and turned to face a man with light tanned skin, short brown hair, and deep blue eyes, perhaps my mother's age or a bit younger. Assuming that my mother was now in her late thirties early forties.

"Can I help you?" He questioned. I assumed he was the owner and was trying to figure out what the ruckus was about. There was something about the way he looked at me like he suddenly seemed like he knew me. Or maybe I was just over thinking again. I explained to him that I was just here looking for someone and wasn't trying to cause any trouble. He chuckled saying that everything was fine and that man always came in here rambling to strangers. My heart sank even more as I realized what he had said was meaningless. I pulled out the picture I was showing everyone, incase of a slight chance he'd know something. When he saw it, he took it for a moment and stared at it then at me like he was making comparisons.

"Do you know her? Can you help me find her?" I asked nervously. "Please tell me you do…"I thought to myself. He handed it back silently and cleared his throat.

"Come with me," He suggested. After that he wouldn't answer any of my questions. When I realized this, I tried my best to remain silent. I followed him out of the tavern and to his house not too far off. He was telling me how nice it was to live here, like he was purposely trying to make me wait even longer for his answer, his explanation. Maybe trying to get to know me first, to make sure I wasn't some sort of intruder with an evil intention. He had to know her… he just had too. Once we arrived he made me a cup of tea and I sat at his table looking at the pictures he had around on the walls. One of him with a pretty blonde haired woman, but no kids.

"Ah, her name was Akiyo," He said out of the blue. I hadn't even noticed he saw me staring at it.

"Was?" I thought to myself. He spoke monotonically; briefly describing she was his wife and was killed in action not long ago. They were planning to have kids soon, but never got the chance. I apologized not meaning to bring up such a depressing subject and watched as his eyes suddenly became distant. Obviously he was still grieving over it. He then told me his name was Benjirou Etsuo, but to call him Benji and he's been living here in the village for several years now. I asked him where he was from originally and he simply said he was a rogue ninja. I didn't seem to pick any odd vibes from him. He seemed like a nice decent man, simply widowed and trying to move on with life.

"You're name?" He finally asked.

"Nayumei," Was all I said as he poured me more tea. "So do you know anything about this woman? It's kind of urgent." I was beginning to get impatient. Here we were making small talk when I had only simply asked him a question at the beginning. I showed him the solo portrait of my mother again and he took his time to look at it again. Was he up to something? I began to wonder if he had put something in my drink, but as the minutes passed nothing unusual happened. Should I trust this man? How could I trust a stranger? But then again… how many strangers have trusted me?

"Where did you say you were from?"

"From the sand," I began to get irritated at his constant questions. But somehow I felt that he did know something. "Look," I began and was interrupted when he asked me if I liked living in the sand. I sighed and told him I hadn't been living there long and was also a rogue ninja. He seemed unsurprised and made another pot of tea. What was he waiting for? It was obvious he was stalling now. Maybe he was lonely and hadn't had company in a while, so he was bored with his life.

"So then what brings you here? And why are you looking for her?" He finally sounded serious. I was a bit glad to finally get to the important subject, but wondered if he'd go off from it again.

"Do you know where she is or not!" I snapped. It had caught him off guard, could he really not realize how irritated I had become? It was starting to seem like he was playing with my head. What was it with people and toying with others emotions? He grinned like he was amused with my urgency.

"Tell you what, I'll play you for the answer," He then took out a stack of playing cards and placed them on the table smiling. "You look like you could use some fun." I stood from my chair facing down and began to head for the door when he suddenly appeared in front of me with his arm blocking the door.

"Alright… I was just trying to lighten up the mood." Benji then told me to take a seat and so I did. I realized that he'd tell me if he knew who I really was so then took out another picture I had of my mother, father, sister and I. When I slid it across the table it seemed to have hit a nerve. He stared at me suspiciously almost as if he was trying to figure out what to say.

"I'm looking for my mother. She left long ago, and I've been looking for her for awhile now. So if you do know where she is…. Than please don't make me wait any longer. I've traveled enough, I've endured enough, if you really don't know then quit wasting my time."

"Mother?" He thought to himself. He got up and turned his back to me remaining silent.

"You do know don't you! Please…. I've waited long enough! Just tell me where she is and I'll go! "I tried to hold back the tears that were trying to come out. Oh but the pain I was in on the inside was only increasing more with every minute that passed. He looked around cautiously as if there was a slight chance that he was being watched.

"I know her alright. And I know where she is, but…" He said blankly.

"But what!" I exclaimed, letting the bit of excitement within, get the best of me.

"It's just that she never mentioned a daughter. And I think it might actually be the wrong person…"

"Let me see her and I'll see that for myself. Please…" I whispered.

"Alright… Follow me," He said sternly. And so I followed him out.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A while later::.::.::.::.::~**

Behind the tavern was a cave, reminding me of the ones the Akatsuki used. Once inside Benji opened a trap door hidden behind a boulder and then we began to walk down some stairs. My heart was racing so fast that I felt as if at any moment it could stop altogether, He grabbed a torch from the wall and we proceeded down a long dark hallway. Almost like the one I'd see in my dreams. There were multiple doors on each side and one at the very end. Benji wore a blank expression as we neared the very end of the long hall. He paused for a moment and looked back at me with an unsure look, and I suddenly felt a sort of fear swipe through me. A sort of fear I had only gotten from Orochimaru. Was I scared to come all this way and for it to really be the wrong person? Or perhaps that this was somehow some sort of trap…

"Hana?" Benji spoke quietly as he opened the door, revealing a shadowy figure sitting in a chair. It had to be my mother! That was her name. The door now fully opened as Benji walked in slowly. The figure looked back, almost seemed like in slow motion, as it turned to face us. A light illuminated their face and revealed them from the shadows. I suddenly became paralyzed, unable to move as I tried to form a sentence, but nothing would come out.

"It's you…."


	44. Chapter 44 The Long Held Grudge

"My sweet Nayumei, at last we meet again."

"But I thought…" I was at a loss for words. It was as if my worst nightmare had come true. I stumbled back and was pushed forward by Benji. Suddenly I was filled with panic, like a cornered mouse about to be eaten. How could I have not seen this coming! Could it be Deidara was really warning me when he came to me in my dream?

"You lied to me Benji!" I shouted in disbelieve. "How could I have been deceived? How!"

"He was merely doing as I had asked. This time, I swear on my life I won't let you get away!" Tetsu Takami shouted.

The boy who was my first crush long ago. The boy who was a part of my very first team, the one who once saved me and brought me back to start a life in the grass village. The reason I betrayed them when I thought he was dead. He and I faced each other again while I tried to escape the Akatsuki and attacked Deidara, once again I thought he had died then too, but no. Now brought back face to face away from anyone else, no interferences. This time no one would be able to save me. I quickly stood up and stared at Benji whose face was still blank, but with evil intentions hidden behind his eyes. They were working together? But how? Why did this Benji guy team up with him? What was I missing here? Suddenly it hit me. I have seen this Benji guy before! Back at the sand when I was being attacked by that disguised Shinobi; he had popped out of nowhere and saved me. I never saw him again after that. If he was living in this village then what was he doing in the sand? How could I have not realized it sooner…

"I don't understand…" I yelled a bit shaky, what about my mother? Was that all a lie to lure me here? Why? Tetsu began to walk to me and pinned me against the wall, I suddenly felt unable to move as I tried to comprehend the mess of a situation. "Why you Benji? I trusted you…"

"You shouldn't have. I despise you and you're mother! You're mother is the reason my wife died!" Benji began to walk towards me pulling out a sword.

"And my sister!" Tetsu shouted.

"What? You never told you had a sister…My mother wouldn't do that!" I shouted.

"How the hell would you know? She's practically a stranger to you! She took her away from the both of us and now it's you who must pay and for the grass village!

"Why would she do that?" I mumbled.

"Because she's evil. Don't you get it?" He paused as if to swallow then continued on suddenly sounding genuine, but I knew it was an act. "Nay… I loved you so much and when I found out you betrayed the grass village I still forgave you, but then you and that Akatsuki tried to kill me again. And then I find out you're very mother killed Akiyo! You're exactly the same! You're both monsters!"

"Tetsu…. That wasn't love. You couldn't know what that is. And I only did it because they told me you were dead! My mother wouldn't do that!" I tried to break free from his grip, but he only pushed me up against the wall some more. "Tetsu please…"

"You're mother has always been my downfall. I loved her, but she always ignored me! She always humiliated me! Then I ran into that man Orochimaru, it appears he also held a grudge against your mother for never accepting his gifts, so then I told him about your father. I thought getting him out of the way would at last give me her, but then she still didn't want me! So then I decided to team up with him and I left the village, only wanting to destroy her. I found peace when I met Akiyo, but then you're mother had to come back and take her from me!" Benji stated with such intensity that I couldn't even grasp all of what was just said.

My mother was approached by Orochimaru? Could it be that's what he meant when he said I was just like her? She didn't want the curse mark either so then he decided to get even by killing my father? But why… Did she leave because she wanted to kill him? Is that the bad feeling she had before he left? But when she left she took her suitcases… She planned to never return. Right? Benji must have been keeping an eye on me in the sand village and I hadn't even noticed... Was it him that took my necklace to bring me to come here?

"My mother? Where is she!" I suddenly felt a pain within as if the curse mark was begging to be set free, but I fought it back as I struggled to get away from Tetsu's grasp.

"The coward is long gone!"

"Let go of me! If you want to fight then lets fight!" Tetsu released his hold and I fell to the floor.

"Come at me then," He said sinisterly and I suddenly found myself being flung across the room against another wall. I tried to reach for my weapon and found it missing. Suddenly Tetsu began to fling spears towards me and I quickly dodged them, the ground began to shake causing me to lose my balance. It wasn't fair, two against one when I was already in a weak state, I wasn't prepared for this. Benji suddenly began to run towards me with his sword and then in a flash disappeared. My guard was up, but my senses disturbed, not at their strongest, I felt a slash across my arm and I quickly jumped back only to be punched in the stomach and flung back some more. The fight had begun in the small room, and now into the hallway once the walls had been broken down, the roof looked ready to cave in and I began running down the dark hallway. If I was going to fight them then it have to at least be in an open space.

"If I'm going to die today then let me at least put on a good show!" I thought to myself and dodged attacks as I pushed myself to run like never before. The attacks suddenly stopped and the roof began to cave in, on some areas, but I didn't look back.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A few minutes later::.::.::.::.::~**

"Let's step it up a level shall we?" Tetsu said coming out from the rubble. I looked around frantically when I noticed Benji had disappeared then suddenly was flung in the air when he came from underneath me and punched me under my chin. I landed several feet behind and wiped the blood from my mouth as I rose. It was a lot harder to fight obviously, when they both attacked one right after the other.

"How could you have been in the Akatsuki if you can't even focus!" Tetsu yells before kicking me up one more time then elbowing me in the back. I grabbed a hold of his arm and flung him over, taking him down with me.

"Earth style, earth burial," Benji shoved his fist into the ground and within seconds a group of roots quickly made their way towards me and sprung up from the ground. The roots entangled around my legs and slowly began dragging me into the ground. I struggled as my sad attempt to set myself free. Tetsu did another pair of hand signs while I was slowly being consumed by the ground. If only I had my boomerang, I thought I no longer needed. Or a sword of some sort, or even…. The curse mark. I closed my eyes trying to think of a way and suddenly felt like I was suffocating. If only there was a way.

"I need it!" I kept repeating and began to concentrate on the seal. With the emotions, my anger, my desperation I began to feel my neck pulsate. If I were to use it, it be like surrendering to it and surrendering to that monster's power. Suddenly regretting my decision, I tried to fight it, but it was strong. A surge of energy poured through my veins as I broke through the roots and jumped back on the ground. It came after me again, but I got away. Then it began to rain spears, a technique from Tetsu. I ran to some trees for cover and hid under a fallen tree trunk as the spears pierced the ground around me. "I don't know how much longer this will continue…"

**...…**

After it went back and forth for awhile, I finally got some blows in, with my fire jutsus. The only problem was that I started to run out of chakra. And that was beginning to take its toll. I panted heavily as Tetsu rose from the ground after being knocked down. We were now near the edge of the mountain just a bit away from the village. The fight seemed to have dragged on forever and I was finding no advantages. Was this really the end? Benji finally escaped my earth dome and was coming at me with his incredible speed. One punch after another, one deflected, one not, one punch in, one kick out. I finally collapsed on my back breathing becoming difficult.

"That's enough Benji! Let's end this now, we've had our fun," Tetsu begins to walk towards me with Benji forcing me to stand and pinning my arms behind me. I stood their motionless, lifeless. Like a failure, accepting my defeat, accepting my death, how I hoped the pain to be brief. Tetsu quickly raised his sword aiming it for my chest. He nearly succeeded, when a strange mist had appeared followed by a lightning technique that they both dodged and jumped away from, as I fell to the floor.

"That is enough."

It was a woman's voice, a voice I recognized right away. I forced myself to sit and then stand, ignoring the pain throughout my body as I stared at the emerging figure. My heart racing yet again as I tried to speak the word I so longed to say.

"Mother…" I whispered as she began to walk towards me. For a moment I thought as if she would embrace me, ask if I was ok, but instead she didn't even look at me, she walked to face Benji and Tetsu who were staring at her in disbelief. "I'll end this now!" She shouted and in a flash, such incredible speed, she cut Tetsu and stabbed him through the chest. Benji dodged and landed against a tree. Tetsu appeared to be unconscious, lying on the ground motionless. Benji faced my mother as the wind picked up and I continued to wipe the blood coming from my mouth.

"Hana. Looks like we meet again," He spoke warily.

"I have no desire to speak with you," She spat and began to run towards him with full force. A voice within me, who was remaining quiet, could no longer hold its silence.

"MOM!" I shouted. She was suddenly distracted and it gave Benji time to dodge and get out of the way. I stood with a fist as she finally turned to face me. Benji began to laugh as my mother stared with a look only explained as if she had seen a ghost.

"Stupid girl. She doesn't know who you are!" He shouted.

"Mom it's me! Nay!" I began to walk towards her slowly, as my leg dripped blood. Her face puzzled. Then she turned her back to me to face Benji again. "Face me! I am you're daughter so face me! Quit being a coward!" I shouted suddenly boiling with rage. Even now, as fate has finally brought us together again she chose to ignore me.

"I have no daughter."

Her words like knives, piercing through my very soul. How could a mother deny her daughter? After all that I went through all because of her. It was all her fault. If she had never left, if she wasn't such a coward, my life would have been completely different. I couldn't fight the tears from falling any longer, and I began to question her. All about what Benji and Tetsu said. Was it really true? She killed Tetsu's sister, also Benji's wife? She denied Orochimaru's gift? Father died because of her? Did she leave to start over without me or to find Orochimaru? Why didn't she come back?

"I did not kill Akiyo," She said coldly.

"You lie!" Benji shouted suddenly charging at her. She dodged, what seemed so effortlessly.

"Why did you leave me! Why didn't you come back to me!"

Her face was expressionless. It was as if she couldn't hear me, only focusing on Benji who was getting furious, simply by looking at her. My fists began to shake as the anger increased. I continued to try and talk to her, but she didn't answer any of my questions.

"You're mother doesn't remember you! Her memories were erased!" Benji seemed amused at my confusion as he began to explain how she left the sand village to kill Orochimaru and had lost to him and as punishment he had erased her memories of everything. She had become a shell with no emotions. If what he was saying was true then… why did she take her suitcases? Why lead me to believe she abandoned me?

**…...**

**"How could you forget something like that?" Deidara said.**

**"Deidara! Her memories have obviously been erased," Sasori said.**

**…...**

Hana suddenly collapsed to her knees, holding onto her head as Benji continued to talk about how Akiyo was on a mission when she was murdered by her. From that day forth he vowed to get his revenge on my mother, and when he found out I was still alive and ran into Tetsu, he decided to kill us both at the same time and to rid the Akada name once and for all. I watched as my mother suffered with the pain, I too went through that when I had lost my memories, if only she could remember, than everything would become clear.

"Remember mom! You have to remember! Remember me!" I shouted. Suddenly Benji came towards me catching me off guard; my mother now lying on the floor as her headache grew. I barely deflected Benji's attack. I almost fell off the edge completely, but grabbed a hold just before I was a goner. I gasped as I watched my legs dangle and rocks fall and disappear. The mist prevented me from seeing the ground. Benji began to laugh as he walked closer telling me what a tragic story was held to the Akada name.

"Mom!" I shouted as felt myself slipping. "Gaara…Naruto…Kankuro… Temari….I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to return. I'm sorry I failed you and I failed myself…" I began to sob uncontrollably as I felt myself slipping… slipping away forever. Then finally I sucked it in as I desperately hung on with the last of my strength.

"**You have to be strong."**

Benji looked down at me telling me how things are always better in the dark and I chose the wrong path. He began with some hand signs, but wasn't able to finish. My mother had come out of nowhere and pushed him over the edge. He fell for what seemed like a really long time, yelling and extending his arm out, almost succeeded in taking me with him. To my surprise, my mother had grabbed my arm and began to pull me up.

"Nay…" she spoke softly. Could it be? She remembered me, the jutsu broken? Almost to the top, she let go and stood back as I finished pulling myself up and maintained my eyes to the ground. I looked up with a smile and was surprised to see her staring at me with tears in her eyes.

"Mom!" I began to walk towards her, ready to embrace her when I saw the growing stain of blood on her shirt, the blood dripping to her feet and from the corner of her mouth. Tetsu stood back from behind her, pulling the last of his sword from her back and collapsed to the ground lifeless.

"No…"

It almost seemed as if it was all just a very long dream. Unfortunately for me this wasn't. My mother began to fall and it seemed at that moment, life had suddenly been put to a stop.


	45. Chapter 45 Mother's Advice

She fell to her knees, without a word. I reached for her, but she pushed my hand away telling me she was fine. My eyes welled with tears as I couldn't understand why she was still pushing me away, even now. Tetsu was panting and forced himself to his knees to face me as I began to walk towards him.

"Why did you have to come back! Why couldn't you have stayed dead!"

He briefly explained when the first time I thought he had died, he woke up severely injured, but was rescued. He then found me long gone, his name was cleared, and he vowed to become strong and to find me again. The second time, he had used a forbidden grass village jutsu barrier and that's how he survived Deidara's attacks. After that, he once again lived with the same intention to come for me again. But why couldn't he let me go? After what the grass village did to him he should have despised them as much as I did. But no, instead he came looking for me. Tetsu began to vent how he hated the Akatsuki and when he found out they came for me and I left with them, he could no longer see me as the Nay from before. Of course, how could I have forgotten about his hatred against them… He reached for his sword and began to bark about how my mother deserved to die, to restore his sister's honor.

"I did not kill Akiyo…" Suddenly my mother spoke. She cringed as every word caused her pain. "Orochimaru deceived you! I was merely trying to help her, when she had gone off on her own, I never saw her after that."

"Just stop lying!" Tetsu desperately tried to stand again, but fell flat once again and his sword landed away from him. He faced the ground, showing he had little time left.

"I have no reason to lie,' my mother said coldly. Tetsu shook his head denying her words and clenched his fists as he attempted to sit. I looked down at the sword he used to pierce my mother, and slowly picked it up and pointed it at him.

"Nay…" He whispered finally having the strength to lift his head.

**"You can think you've changed all you want! But we both know how stained your hands are! How black your heart already is!"**

"**You abandon all that is good in this life."**

"You're going to finish me off? Then finish me!" He shouted as I locked my eyes with his. My hand slightly trembled as I continued to hold the sword wanting to kill him, but something was holding me back. I wanted to kill him with all I had, I wanted him to suffer, to know how I have suffered, and I knew that I should.

"**You belong to us and you always will!"**

"No…" My reaction puzzled him as he coughed up more blood asking what I was doing. I threw the sword off into the distance and looked back at my mother whose eyes were drooping and showing little emotion.

"I… I don't understand," He stuttered and fell once again with his hand over his chest.

"There are some things in this world you will never understand," I said coldly. The same line he used that day when they were taking him away. I knew killing him, would only add onto all the evil I have committed. It was one thing to kill a criminal while on a mission or in defense, but while they themselves were already defeated, it was a dishonorable act. Tetsu's heart finally stopped beating, and with that he took his last breath and closed his eyes, lying motionless. A pool of blood had been forming around him and now around my mother who could no longer sit and began to fall to her side.

"Mother!" I cried as she fell and landed into my arms. I was holding her for the very first time in what felt like decades. I'd always thought it feel weird because she was like a stranger to me, but it didn't. It was the moment I had been waiting for, but also once didn't even want to happen. I always thought it would never happen again, that we wouldn't be brought to each other again. It was true, I despised her for awhile, and I couldn't understand it then. Why everything that happened did, but now that it was all starting to become clear I was trying to finish the puzzle. My mother never killed Akiyo and she left, to avenge my father and perhaps was even concerned that Orochimaru would soon come after me. But only one question remained and with all that had been happening I couldn't think clearly. Rain began to pour down vigorously, as I laid her head on my knee. She looked up at me with a sudden warmth and radiance as she called my name. I tightened my grip on her shoulder; at last the moment had arrived.

"Do you remember everything?" I stumbled trying to keep from breaking down, the time was short, and I could feel it. I knew it couldn't be wasted, but there was so much I wanted to say, so much I wanted to ask, how could life be so cruel? She nodded and held onto my hand as she coughed up more blood.

"Listen to me Nay. You mustn't follow the path of darkness, no matter the circumstances. The only reason I left you was so I could protect your future. I know what I did was wrong, and I needed you to believe I left you of my own will…. So incase I didn't come back, you wouldn't set off to try and avenge me. That is not the life I intended for you. If you knew the truth, I know for a fact you would do the same I did. It's a curse we Akadas have. I was certain I wouldn't return, but never planned for Orochimaru to let me live. I never wanted you to go down the path of loneliness. I had asked the Kazekage to look after you for me…" She stopped and coughed some more, tears formed at the corner of my eyes; I tried so hard to hold it all back. "I've only ever made mistakes; I know I shouldn't have treated you poorly like I did. I was suffering… I couldn't handle…"

"I was suffering too! How could you have been so selfish!" I spat suddenly. The emotions of anger I had stored away were surfacing again. It was all so very complicated. She placed her hand on my cheek as I began to sob.

"I know there's nothing I can say… there's nothing I can do to make any of it better… but maybe there's still hope in the fact that you won't follow my ways. I only hope you have friends who care about you around you… let that be your true reason to live. Don't focus on trying to make things right after I'm gone, what's done is done. Don't throw your life away… fill it with happiness and love. Do it for me Nay," She stopped and watched as the tears fell from my face.

"I can't…" I stuttered. "You can't leave me again!"

"You have to! Be strong and independent, but also don't be afraid to let someone catch you if you fall. Keep you're heart open and love will always find its way in. Atone for my mistakes by doing good acts, live the happy life you deserve to live. Try and understand that what I did had to be done! Cry today, but do not cry tomorrow for it will be a new day. You've done just fine up until now without me, you can continue on…. "

"I haven't! I've done horrible things… I can't start fresh when all of that is still fresh in my memories…" I muttered.

"Nayumei! Take my advice. The past is the past; you must not live in it any longer. Don't continue to live in sorrow, but strive for something even better. You no longer need to fear, you no longer need to worry, you only need to live your life to its fullest. Atone for your mistakes too, but you must follow my advice. The life of a Shinobi can be a destructive path, but you are better than that…Make the right choices, be better than I ever was!"

Her voice had gotten quieter and her eyes became more and more distant as she watched the raindrops fall. I felt it. I was losing her. She had lost a massive amount of blood and her breathing was becoming faint. I held on tighter begging her not to go, telling her that there was still a chance for her.

"No Nay. You know very well…" She held back tears now as she placed one hand on her stomach and the other she used to pull out my necklace from her pocket.

"It's…" I mumbled as she handed it to me. She pulled out hers and placed it back around her neck explaining that she took it off while she slept. She apologized for taking mine, but said when she did, she only knew that it belonged to her and needed it back not understanding at the time why.

"It was always meant to be yours, I just never had the chance to give it to you, until now…" She paused as I placed it around my neck and felt a slight smile spread on my face. She smiled too and held onto my hand telling me that now I will always have a part of her. She then placed her other hand on hers adding that she will always have a part of me. The tears began again, but she continued to smile and suddenly cringed in desperation. "I love you. I always have and I always will… always remember that…" She whispered.

"Mom…. I love you too…." I cried and watched as she closed her eyes and her grip on my hand loosened. A slight smile remained on her face as she was finally saying goodbye to this cruel world. "And I forgive you…" Was the last thing she heard.

I held onto her lifeless body, wishing to go with her, but trying to accept all that she had told me. It was her last wish and I intended to follow it for her sake and mine.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A while later::.::.::.::.::~**

I stared down at the two graves, while the rained continued to pour. It felt like needles on my delicate skin, with every second that past. My clothes soaked, ripped and covered in blood. A complete destruction was behind me from the battle scene, so I had chosen a nice peaceful area away from it, just by a tree that in the spring would grow apples. I took the time to find daisies just a bit off and placed them gently on them both. Even though after all Tetsu did, he was simply deceived and deserved a proper burial. I wasn't going to let him just rot in some ditch. I held onto my necklace as I stared off at a river with its gentle current moving east. I looked down one more time before deciding its best to say goodbye.

"Perhaps I can start a complete new life else where," I spoke out loud thinking I was alone. I had almost forgotten about the Matsuri and Gaara incident. If I were to go back then I wouldn't be able to stay happy while suffering with the question if Gaara could feel the same way I did. Or maybe he felt that way about Matsuri? I suddenly heard footsteps behind me, and tried my best to turn around quickly. My body was aching and even now after working so hard to bury Tetsu and my mother, my body was begging to be put to rest. I hoped it wasn't some other person with a grudge against me, to put me in more misery. I stared into familiar eyes, and couldn't even think, or speak. As if my mind had turned off and I was just there, but not really there.

"G- Gaara…? But…How…Why…. Again?" I muffled and suddenly remembered where I was and how I must appear. I had such immense pain on the inside that I had forgotten of the ones on the outside. When your heart is so severely injured it suddenly feels like you can't, for that moment, feel anything else. And though I was trying to be strong like my mother had always said, I just wanted to sleep; and if I were to not wake up I'd be okay with it. He walked towards me asking if I was okay. Of course I wasn't. But I still mumbled a yes. Still continuing to try and appear strong. But on the inside I was crumbled, hiding in a dark corner wanting to continue crying. Screaming at the heavens for all that had happened. But I realized that blaming wouldn't make anything different.

"I found her." I began and collapsed to my knees feeling dizzy and frail. "But I couldn't keep her…" He came to me and knelt down in front of me looking at my face as I placed my hands on my cheeks trying to keep calm. I didn't want to break down again in front of him. I no longer wished to show my vulnerable side, but I… I just needed someone. And for some reason when he was around all of that just didn't matter and I only wanted him to hold me. He hugged me, throwing me off guard and I stared off in disbelief. He was actually hugging me? And came all this way again for me? Why did he keep leaving the village just to come look for me? Wasn't he getting tired of it? I rested my chin on his shoulder and hugged him back, holding on so very tight. And I let my walls come down, I let myself cry, and I let him hold me until I passed out from exhaustion soon after.


	46. Chapter 46 A Chance to Speak

Someone poured a drink into a cup nearby. The sound was the first thing I heard as my emerald green eyes fluttered open. The light from the window caused them to slightly burn and so I closed them again before opening them again. Slowly I sat up and yawned before stretching and looking around the hospital room I was in. It did seem like I spent a lot of time in rooms like this. I had lost count by now. A table with some flowers was near my bed and next to that a cup of tea. No one was around, so I slowly slipped out of bed. My muscles stiff, from sleeping for so long. How long was I out? Perhaps a few days. I have not the slightest clue. I placed my hand on the window as I watched villagers walking below, and here I was not able to enjoy the sun. I placed a hand on my cheek, remembering my mother's touch and her beautiful eyes that now filled my dreams. Despite my sadness for her not being able to stay, I somehow felt content. The mystery would hopefully no longer bother me and I can finally try and live. I even felt a bit peaceful now being back at the sand. A new chapter in my life was about to begin and I was not sure what to expect.

"You shouldn't be up and moving yet, you should rest," I heard Temari plea from behind. The door closed behind her as she began to walk towards me.

"Eh, I don't feel any pain. I'll be fine," I tried my best to sound gentle and not in a depressed state of mind.

"Gaara was really worried about you," She said with a bit of amusement in her voice. I slightly blushed and continued to stare out the window trying to keep a blank face. She was grinning, she wasn't sure of what to make of the situation either.

"That's right… Gaara… What am I going to do about him?" I thought to myself as I stared at a puffy white cloud move along after the others. I sighed telling Temari that he needs to stop doing that.

"It's odd though… I've never seen him this protective over someone. Well there was that one time with Matsuri…But…"

I suddenly interrupted her asking what she meant, referring to Matsuri. She seemed a bit surprised and explained how awhile ago these people came and kidnapped Matsuri and used her as bait to lure Gaara away. Then Naruto and other leaf ninjas showed up and helped and they all returned back safely. I couldn't help, but wonder if Gaara was desperate when he went after her. I was surely over thinking when I thought that Gaara might have had some sort of feelings for me because of how he'd always appear out of nowhere and save me. He obviously has done it with others, I was no different. I must have not realized the irritated expression on my face when Temari had pointed it out abruptly. I suddenly felt embarrassed and asked Temari when I will be taking my test so I can start to go on missions.

"I think that'll be postponed for even longer, there's just so much to do," She had gotten serious as she tied back curtains from another window. Temari's gaze suddenly went to the necklace around my neck, she knew very well who it was from and didn't want to ask how I had gotten it back.

"I'll find my true purpose in life, right now I want to start with eating a big bowl of curry," I sighed as my stomach growled. She smirked and then the door open and closed again. We both turned to see Gaara and Kankuro walking in. My heart skipped a beat as I made eye contact with Gaara and quickly looked away. The last time I saw him I was crying my eyes out yet again. I hated with a passion, letting people see me cry, but it seemed recently I could no longer harbor it in and it was unleashing without permission.

"How are you Nayumei?" Kankuro asked. He crossed his arms and looked past me and at Temari. I adjusted some bandages around my arm and said I was fine. On the outside at least. Right now, I was in distress on the inside. But I knew I must move on. I can't dwell in the past forever and I need to live my life not just for me anymore, but for my mother. He then told Temari there was a mission they had to attend to. So the two excused themselves and left Gaara and me alone, once again…

"I'll only be here for a bit longer than I'm going to get something to eat. If you're not busy…" I paused and avoided his gaze that was making me shake with nerves. Why did I have to get like this with him? It's not like it would ever go anywhere anyways. We were just too different. It couldn't be.

"We should go eat," Gaara said as if he read my mind. Or maybe it was because he heard my stomach growl… I nodded and packed my things and we walked out together. A bit awkward, as I wasn't sure what to even say. He himself was rather a quiet, to himself, kind of person and I was more of always speaking my mind, well maybe not always. I didn't like this new feeling of not being able to be myself.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A while later::.::.::.::.::~**

Gaara and I walked throughout the village; everywhere we'd go people would greet him, of course. What I never expected was for them to be greeting me too. They all knew my name, but I didn't really know any of there's. I looked over at some people who were still repairing the houses that were burnt. That was my mother's fault… A saddened look appeared on my face, which got Gaara's attention. He suddenly asked me how I liked it there; it almost seemed as if he was trying to cheer me up. Before I could answer his question, a little kid's ball almost hit me in the head. As I dodged, I lost my balance and fell forward right into Gaara's chest. He caught me and placed his hands on my shoulders as I slowly pulled away looking into his eyes.

"Oh no…" I thought to myself. "Why does this always happen to me!"

The little kid apologized and went after his ball. I looked away shyly and began to walk off, with Gaara following after me acting as if nothing unusual just occurred. I looked over at him as we stopped walking and wondered if I should just say something already. My hair swayed with the wind, as I tried to form a decent sentence, but nothing would come out like I wanted it to.

"Gaara I-…"I began.

Suddenly a familiar voice called for his attention. I shuttered at the sound and turned to see Matsuri walking towards us with a half smile on her face. The moment was now gone.

"Gaara!" She shouted and rushed towards us. She slightly glared at me, but continued a smile; I wasn't really understanding. She tried to make conversation with Gaara, but let's face it, he just wasn't very talkative. As they talked I suddenly felt like some sort of third wheel and like I should leave, so I started to. Gaara called for me which annoyed Matsuri as she watched me walk back towards him. Matsuri was merely a student, is what Temari said. So then it had to be a one sided love, right? But that meant it was probably the same for me. I couldn't exactly say I was annoyed by Matsuri so had to stand by awkwardly. But I watched at how he behaved towards her and maybe it was true. He didn't have any feelings for her like she did. I stared at the symbol on Gaara's forehead and remembered a long time ago he had said it once meant demon only loving himself. Or at least something like that. Even though the tailed beast was no longer inside him, the symbol could still hold the same meaning to him. I suddenly remembered the whole Jinchuuricki extraction business and looked away guilty. My curiosity suddenly grew as I thought of how the eight tailed mission thing with Sasuke and his team turned out.

"We should get going," Gaara suddenly brought me out of my daze and I turned to face him. Matsuri excused herself and said she had to go do some training but with a bit of sadness on her face. I had missed their whole conversation. We made it back to the Kazekage's room where Gaara began with his work again; I sat in a chair near his desk looking through files of the Shinobi here. I wasn't exactly sure on what I was going to do next. My whole life I was focused on some sort of physical goal, and now there was nothing. I looked down at my hands, and sighed. I had the opportunity to start with a clean slate, but why did it feel like something was missing? Like there was something I still had to do? I looked over at Gaara who was completely focused on his things and was now talking to a Shinobi who had entered. After a few minutes he left and it was just Gaara and I once again.

**...**

"Hey can I ask you something?" I felt the nerves shoot up, but tried to keep my cool. Gaara asked what it was and looked up at me as I stared deeply into his eyes. The eyes that had me completely sucked in. Just then the door burst open with Kankuro and Temari coming in shortly behind him.

"Gaara! The leaf village has been attacked!" Kankuro spat. Panic suddenly filling the room, it slightly showed on Gaara's face too.

"The leaf village?" I stuttered and began to think of Naruto and the others. "But why?"

Gaara suddenly completely serious asked what had happened.

"Nay…" Kankuro spoke softly as if he was cautious of what he was to say next. Gaara with a look of discomfort asked if they knew anything else. "The Akatsuki's behind it."

I felt myself go cold. My face wash out, and my heartbeat increase. I remembered when Sasuke and Madara were discussing this, but I thought they would wait longer and even hoped that they would never get the chance too. But no I let it go, and didn't even try to stop it. Gaara looked up at me and then asked Kankuro to mobilize a team immediately and to go offer them assistance.

"I want to go too," I blurted out. Gaara looked at me with hesitation as Kankuro said it be best to stay here since I was now a traitor to the Akatsuki and going in would be suicide and it would make things worse. The thing was that if they knew I was in the sand and they were really after me they would have done something about it by now. Which only meant that they had something else planned for me. Perhaps Madara was waiting, hoping that I'd change my mind and return to them? I looked back at the incident where they tricked me into thinking that they had my mother captive. And the things Madara had said, if Gaara hadn't intervened then maybe he would have explained more of what it was he really wanted. But they couldn't really be after me; if they were they would have and could have easily done it earlier. Their increased activity was keeping them distracted from it all and to be honest it's not like they should really care. I wasn't much help to them; they didn't even trust me with information and gave me the simplest tasks which I always seemed to blow. I was merely a puppet at the time, and so occupied by the crush on Deidara to even notice the strings.

"It's my fault! I didn't try and stop them…" I kept telling myself. Gaara stood up and placed his hand on my shoulder, surprising me.

"They'll be fine," He tried. But all I could think of was the Akatsuki and their plans. They were now most likely after the nine tails, Naruto. I knew them well; they weren't going to give up easily especially since there was only a few Jinchuuricki left. Was I going to sit back and not even try and help or try and stop them? Gaara then told me I should stay here because it was safer and not to do anything reckless. "I don't want anything to happen to you." He added and then left the room as well. I stared at the now closed door with a slight blush and confusion on my face.

"But Gaara…" I whispered. "I have to find out something." I stared at the emptiness of the room and then out the window and couldn't stop the sudden urge I had to follow my new idea. I was ready to come face to face with them again. Who ever it may be, or if it was all of them. Maybe they would try and kill me on the spot, but I had to help Naruto. After what he did for me, I owed him. And I was prepared to protect him.

"Sorry, but sitting back just isn't my style," I said while looking back and then jumped out the window. I jumped from roof top to roof top and then onto the ground and on towards the village exit. Then away from the village hidden in the sand and onto the leaf.


	47. Chapter 47 Plans Set in Motion

Once I had finally arrived at the leaf to witness the destruction, the countless people injured, I saw no sign of the Akatsuki. My heart filled with sorrow at the dismay, and knowing I did the same thing several times before myself long ago. How could I have let myself do something like that? I was just here a few weeks ago, but now it looked almost unrecognizable. There was smoke everywhere, and I myself was beginning to have trouble breathing from it all and the shock. Was I too late? Did they somehow manage to get Naruto after all? As I heard some people cry in the distance I took several steps back watching what the Akatsuki had left behind. The fighting must have stopped, because everything seemed to have remained still. It just seemed as if it had just recently ended. Was Madara nearby? Or perhaps Sasuke? Just when I was about to take off, a piece of paper landed on my cheek. I peeled it off and recognized it right away as a sign that Konan was still here somewhere. The wind suddenly took it away and I got the feeling I should follow it, so I did.

**...**

I approached an open abandoned space, with little plantation and mostly boulders and dirt. There was a slight fog, and the sky was grey. The piece of paper flew up towards the sky and I followed it with my eyes as it disappeared and then heard footsteps come out from somewhere, then stopping a few feet in front of me. I stared in disbelief as Konan eyed me carefully as if to see if I was trustworthy. It had been a really long time since I last saw her. I left all of them, and I was thinking the same thing she was, whether she was going to attack me or not.

"Konan… "I broke the silence. "It was you?"

She looked to her left which was the direction the now ruined leaf village was. It was as if she was trying to find the right words to say. Or perhaps to look back on what she had done? But the thing was… I wasn't picking any bad vibes from her. Instead, I felt a sense of peace and confusion. What was going on? How could she do this all by herself? I looked back into my memories of the times in the Akatsuki and how Konan and I shared a nice bond, being the only two girls. The times she helped heal me after missions or accidents, to the talks we had. All of that seemed ages ago. Like it was all in another life time I lived a very long time ago. She must have seen me now as some sort of stranger, being that I was a completely different person. That Nay she used to know, the old me, was no more. I looked around for Pain suddenly realizing they usually are always together. But where was he? When she saw that I was looking for someone she finally began to speak.

"Pain is now gone. He has left his hopes in that boy Naruto and I chose to believe in him as well."

"What are you talking about?" I slowly stepped forward as she looked at me with a blank expression. I had always had the suspicion that she loved Pain, and now that he was gone what was she to do? She was now in the same position I was, lost. He left her behind.

"He always wanted there to be peace, that was his true intentions deep down, and now he's entrusted that to Naruto. I just know he will accomplish it. I am leaving the Akatsuki, I have no business with them anymore," She added. She then explained what happened.

The sixth paths of pain infiltrated the leaf with Konan. During the mist of it all Naruto had found the real Pain with Konan. When Naruto had told him he wasn't going to kill him, it changed their prospective. Pain then gave up his life in order to revive the deceased villagers from the attack and Konan left with an offering of peace to Naruto. I couldn't help, but wonder what would become of the Akatsuki now if Pain is gone and Konan is leaving? She then added that Sasuke and his team failed to capture the eight tailed Jinchuuricki and left the Akatsuki. And now that Pain is gone that Madara will try and speed up with his plans. I asked her what plans she was referring too, but didn't want to share and said I would soon find out myself. I had this ominous feeling like something horrible was to come, and now I just had to sit back and wait for it? When I asked her where she would go now she said she wasn't exactly sure, but she had one more thing to do. She wouldn't say what it was, and seeing the hint of sadness in her eyes I knew I shouldn't ask. She always was more reserved, unlike the others. I suggested she come with me to the sand village and start a new life, but she refused.

"Turn the other way now Nayumei. Don't get involved in all this. You can't stop Madara now, everything is in motion and if you get in his way he will make you suffer in the worst way possible."

I thought back to the last conversation with my mother and how she had told me to avoid the darkness, but I just knew that I couldn't turn away from it all completely. Not yet.

"I know that. But I can't let them continue any longer, I'll give my life if it means the absolute obliteration of the Akatsuki," I stated sternly and with no doubts in my mind. It was a decision I made a long time ago, and was still determined to keep.

"If that is so, then you must know that everything will be done, in order to retrieve the last two tailed beasts. There will be no mercy. The world as you know it will be no more if they somehow succeed."

"Konan please tell me all that you know! I can't stop it if I don't know the whole story," I tried but she shook her head as if she felt someone was listening. At least she had helped me in a way.

"You'll find out soon," She apologized and said she had to go now. I knew asking her to tell me the information was hopeless no matter how many times I asked or even begged.

"Konan you can always change your path, please come with me," I continued to try, but she shook her head and said she only wanted to be with Pain. I wasn't sure on what to say to that. Except that I understood the pain of losing someone very well. And the fact that she had only stayed in the Akatsuki because of him, was just proof that she wasn't like the others. Perhaps she had a pure heart as well, hidden away after all. She was just like me, when I only stayed because of Deidara. Strange how sometimes your feelings take control over you and your actions. Especially when it comes to love. I didn't know Konan very well despite the time spent together, so there was nothing else I could say to her. Her mind was set and there was no way in convincing her.

"Take care Nay," She said and as the wind blew she disappeared and pieces of paper filled the air. I stared up at the sky with a slight smile, but with a face and heart filled with disappointment. I somehow knew this would be the last time I'd see her.

"Take care Konan…"

**~::.::.::.::.:: A while later::.::.::.::.::~**

"Nay you can't just take off after you were told not to!" Kankuro shouted. I ignored him and walked past him towards Gaara who was sitting behind his desk with his hands under his chin thinking. It had been a few days since the disaster at the leaf. Naruto had defeated Pain and was welcomed as a hero and the villagers began on reconstruction. I didn't speak with Naruto, but I just needed to know that he was okay and the Akatsuki hadn't gotten their grip on him. I didn't stay there long and shortly after the Konan incident, I came back with some sand Shinobi that had stopped by to help. I felt as if I had missed something important though.

"Gaara we can't just wait around! The Akatsuki aren't going to stop until the last of the two tailed beasts have been captured! Something horrible is coming…" I spoke in desperation.

"Wait a minute!" Kankuro snapped and grabbed me from the arm harshly. "Have you been speaking with the Akatsuki?"

"I…" Unable to properly explain I stared at the ground, guilt was written all over my face. I proceeded in telling them of my encounter with Konan and all that she had told me. Gaara looked at me worryingly and Kankuro with a distrusting look. It seemed like he couldn't fully trust me ever, since he seemed to turn on me so quickly with just little suspicion. I just didn't understand him. One minute he was worried of my safety, then another accusing me of treason. But Gaara on the other hand, never seemed to doubt me even for a second. Temari told Kankuro that it wasn't necessary to treat me like some criminal just because the Akatsuki still chose to associate with me. And in fact to view it as beneficial.

"So you have no idea what this plan of theirs is?" Kankuro barked. Word had definitely gotten out, but no one seemed to know yet of the whole picture and what it was all meant for. I tried to think, but only felt a slight headache as I couldn't remember anything. I sighed as Gaara assured me that it was okay and that they would figure it out. But I couldn't help the feeling that I could be helping in preventing this. Gaara now stood and walked towards us as he began to explain to me how there was now a summit he had to go to that the other Kages of the five nations would all be attending to, in the Land of Iron. I stared dumbfounded, never hearing of such a thing and looked back at Temari and Kankuro who seemed to have already known this information. I was the last to know, a position I knew oh too well.

"Let me go with you!" I snapped.

"No. Only two body guards, it's a request from the fourth Raikage. Temari and I are already going," Kankuro added, now in a calmer voice. He felt sympathy for me, a feeling I hated to receive. And something I always seemed to get from others. Why was it always me who was left out? Or picked aside and viewed so differently? Even in the days of Akatsuki, always being the last to know everything or assigned to pathetic missions. I was so tired. I looked at Gaara with hurt on my face and in my eyes. Though not intentional, but what I was feeling. He then asked his siblings to leave us.

"Please… "I asked again, but Gaara said that I needed to stay here and help protect the sand village. "It doesn't need to be protected! It's the leaf that's still in danger!"

"It'll be brief and then we'll be back, "He added. I bit my lip to maintain my serious face and not let the emotions flood through the surface yet again.

"But what if something happens…" I stuttered and held back the ending of my sentence. Of all the things that were happening, and the things still to come, I suddenly found myself only worried of Gaara, Temari and Kankuro's safety. Mostly Gaara of course. Gaara suddenly embraced me in a hug, keeping me in now a blank state of mind. Was I dreaming again? Or was it that Gaara was actually showing more affections than before? I gently hugged him back. I wanted to hold him like that for as long as I could. And the idea of being able to do it for so long was slowly mending my damaged heart and soul. What had gotten into him though? Why did he act this way towards me? I suddenly had a thought that this was his way of distracting me, to make me listen to his words and felt hurt again. I held that back and I then told him I'd be waiting for him to come back. In the back of my mind, I was hoping that he would actually come back and not for it to be a repeat of the incident with my mother. But the summit wouldn't take more than a few days, so it seemed. I held onto his hand as he explained that he also needed to go see Naruto and then our hands unlocked and he walked out, leaving me behind. I stared out the window as Temari, Kankuro and him left the sand and off to the Land of Iron to the five Kage summit.


	48. Chapter 48 Uncertain Future

"The Fourth Shinobi World War?" I stuttered as Kankuro finished explaining most of what happened at the summit. Sasuke and someone from the Akatsuki showed up, with Sasuke wanting to fight the person who was filling in for the leaf's hokage. The Akatsuki demanded the last two tailed beasts to be handed over and of course were declined. As a result they had called for a war in which they claimed they would use the power of the seven already captured beasts. It was decided to make the five nations alliance in which we'd all fight against the Akatsuki and whatever else was to come.

"Who was it?" I demanded. Kankuro looked at me stating it was Madara Uchiha. I remembered all the things that happened and how I once believed him to be Tobi. The whole revelation that this Tobi person probably never even existed and it was all some sort of act was just hard to grasp. My mother told me she never wanted me to walk the path of vengeance, but since Orochimaru was already gone, I planned to take my anger out and destroy what was evil in this world. Once the Akatsuki would be no more, I'd be able to start the life I always wanted. And the life she always wanted for me. There wasn't any hesitation of course that I was going to participate in this war, and there was nothing anyone could say or do that would prevent it.

I wanted to ask more of what happened at the summit, but they all seemed so preoccupied with what was going on and what was going to happen. It was time to immobilize an army and I was merely watching. Never in my life had I even imagined a war to occur over something like this. A million things rushed through my head at once. Of course the first thing that came to mind is the fact that many lives will be lost. I remembered what I saw of the leaf village and wondered what the outcome would be. With the power of the tailed beats I couldn't even imagine, how gruesome things could get. I watched Gaara who appeared confident as he gave people orders. Don't get me wrong though, I was pretty confident too, but there would always be that little string of doubt in the back of my mind. I inhaled and exhaled as I continued to watch Gaara and the others silently.

"I'll follow you from here…" I whispered to myself while smiling nervously at Gaara who wasn't really paying attention.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A while later::.::.::.::.::~**

The next morning we would all depart. It was hard to believe that in just a matter of hours everything changed. The time had gone slow while Gaara and them were away and now coming back with this? I left them when the strategies were discussed after Gaara told me he wanted me in his division. I didn't argue, but could only wonder if by the Akatsuki seeing me they'd somehow use me for a trap. But you see, staying behind would be extremely difficult for me. My goal was to destroy them and I needed to help in the success of taking them all down. I watched the sun slowly set and the sky begin to change colors. I was trying to clear my thoughts so I came onto my favorite balcony just a bit away from the Kazekage's room. I know I spent a lot of time here, but it was the best view of the village. I would only hope that I'd be able to return to this very place again. I turned when I heard the door close and wasn't surprised to see Gaara there. I had become accustomed to him always coming to me. He came and stood by me, and faced the sunset. I suddenly felt at peace, like just being around him and so close lifted my spirit. Well this was a good way to clear my thoughts from what was going on right?

"Gaara, can you promise me something?"

He turned to face me asking what it was I had to say, while I continued to stare ahead. I was afraid to look him dead in the eyes.

"We'll be able to watch another sunset together again. Yes?" I then at that moment wanted so badly to grab his hand. But I was letting my doubts get the better of me, I wanted him to stay in my life and maybe if I made a move it would only ruin the friendship we had formed. So if we were only meant to be friends, if that was what fate had intended, that at least we'd be able to hang out away from everything else one more time in this very spot. I tried to shake away the fearful thought I suddenly had. What if fate decided for me to never return? Let's face it, I've been weak. I can never make smart decisions, I always act on impulse. I've made myself an easy target with all the emotional distress. I didn't want to be a damsel though. Gaara was always so level headed, and he even had his sand to protect him. If one of us were to not return it would surely be me. In fact I was even considering letting the Akatsuki have a hold of me if that was a plan of theirs. I would probably end up with useful information.

"Of course," He answered. Bringing all my concentration back to him. I attempted a warm smile. But he suddenly seemed suspicions. Was it really possible that he could see right through me?

"Something wrong?" He asked plainly. I shook my head, not wanting to burden him with my ideas.

I wanted things to progress between us, seeing as how he didn't really turn away my affections anymore like before. The only time was when I almost kissed him, but maybe to him that was just too fast. And well that was one of those things I've done on complete impulse. It doesn't really seem like his character to be one of those romantics you hear about in stories. You know the kind who literally sweep you off your feet and constantly tell you those sweet things we all secretly wished someone would say. No he was more of the chilled, go with the flow, and taking time to really get to know someone type. A bit shy perhaps. Reserved, not really showing much emotion. Like a rock. A hard exterior, but what was really on the inside? Though I had to admit I admired that about him. The whole mystery aspect was appealing.

A breeze suddenly picked up and caused my hair to cover some of my face. Just as I was reaching to part it from my cheek, Gaara slowly removed it and we locked eyes. He seemed so calm, while I was dying of nerves and was probably blushing as red as my light skin would allow. Why did he have to go and do that? Doesn't he know what such a simple act could mean? Or maybe it did mean something? Well it was okay I guess. He began talking about how everyone had agreed that Naruto and the other tailed beast weren't allowed to fight and were sent off to an island.

"So I see."

"And about the Akatsuki," Gaara began. He must have easily figured out that's what was bothering me just a moment ago. Sadly, that glimpse of a romantic moment between us passed and it was back to the seriousness of my world. I waited for him to finish as he looked off, getting lost in thought.

"I don't think they'll come after me. They'll be too focused on tracking the Jinchuuricki," I stated, maybe a bit of disappointment was in my voice from the moment that came and went between us.

My answer didn't seem to decrease the worriment he was harboring. Though he remained a rather blank expression, his eyes showed that same look I was beginning to love all over again. He was worried about me. He then began telling me that Madara had revealed his plan about wanting to use a sort of genjutsu and control the world. He added that he'd prefer it if I stayed here, but knew there was no way I would have listened and stayed away. I smiled at this. He seemed to know me so well by now. But what he had told me was so intriguing. That had been the Akatsuki's goal all along? I remembered a discussion on this with Pain, but never was a genjutsu on the moon mentioned. I tried to imagine what Zetsu and them were doing at this very moment and wasn't sure what to expect. They most likely began using new hideouts since my betrayal. It wouldn't make sense to continue to use the old ones when I could now tell Gaara and the others. Especially now when we were trying to gather information.

"Nay you should get some rest," Gaara said smoothly. I felt a funny feeling in my stomach as I simply nodded, trying to keep a straight face. I wasn't even sure I'd be able to catch any sleep tonight unfortunately.

**~::.::.::.::.:: The next day::.::.::.::.::~**

It all seemed as if it was just a really long dream. I had climbed out of bed, and got dressed. I was wearing a grey sweater with a sand vest over the top and my own sand village headband tied loosely around my neck, and black pants. My short brown hair also hung loosely. Then we departed from the sand and now there I was apart of the Fourth Division. We mobilized at a rocky terrain near the southern edge of the Land of Lightning. Gaara had scattered sensing sand Shinobi at the front lines and we waited. Not much was said on our way here between me and him. I was mixed with ninjas from other villages and getting more anxious as people talked among themselves. The war had already begun else where.

"Gaara…" I thought to myself as I looked up at him standing on a higher level ground. He looked down at me and we made eye contact for awhile as he nodded giving a group the signal. I then went with a part of the fourth division to assist another that was being overwhelmed. I had experience in battling several foes at once, so had asked to be in the front lines, but Gaara refused. He wasn't too thrilled with my suggestion to go off either, but believed in me anyways.

The Akatsuki's army from what I gathered consisted of Zetsu clones and I wasn't exactly sure what else. At this point my mind had become foggy as we got further away from the others and from Gaara. I looked ahead at the team I was with and thought to myself. "Hopefully soon this will all be over."

"Fan out!" Someone ordered.

**...…**

The group had split into smaller ones. I went along with a few other Shinobi, some from the leaf and sand and cloud village. We collided with a group of Zetsu clones and were doing pretty good at first, but more continued to come. I gotta say it felt really weird to be fighting so many of someone I despised. I wasn't getting exhausted like I was worried I would, I withstood some minor wounds and was backed up by fellow sand Shinobi.

"There's more from the left!" Someone shouted and we dodged some attacks. After awhile they had suddenly stopped coming and we were beginning to feel the victory. I sighed and placed my hands on my knees as it suddenly became still. Just then a few explosions had gone by and a Zetsu clone begun to extract itself from the tree right behind me. It wrapped its arms around me pinning me to the tree. I stabbed it with kunai knives, but it didn't have any effect. Unable to move, I watched as the group I was with was taken down quickly with explosions that seemed oddly familiar. I coughed from the smoke calling for some of their names, but had no reply. I finally freed myself and landed on my knees and quickly stood up in battle stance. The smoke hadn't fully cleared and I was unable to make anything out. I called for Zetsu's clone, feeling its movement nearby.

"Show yourself!" I shouted.

I dodged spears as they flew from the right and left side and made a shield using a grass jutsu. I began to run to find a more opened space and avoid being cornered as I dodged more spears. I heard explosions go off again and stopped to see if my opponent was visible yet. I searched the ground and even the sky, but it suddenly had gotten really quiet.

"Finish her now."

I quickly dodged an even bigger spear then the ones that were being thrown and landed against a tree. My heart was pounding, the adrenaline increasing. I didn't want to waste my chakra if it wasn't a worthy opponent. Just then I noticed explosions fall from the sky, and as I began with an attack of my own, I stopped, frozen in place.

"It can't be…."


	49. Chapter 49 Return of an Old Flame

"What… is this?" I muttered. A figure once so familiar was floating just a few feet above me. I was stricken with fear and a whole load of other emotions. I was unable to comprehend the sight and what it all meant. I was unable to even move, and my hands began to shake. I even rubbed my eyes to see if I was seeing clearly. I wasn't sure if it was just a ghost or a figment of my imagination manifested, or even just a regular opponent that had merely in my head taken form for a split second of someone else. "Deidara!" I shouted in disbelief.

He looked at me dead in the eyes before reaching into his pockets. Almost like some sort of zombie. He threw knives with explosives and I dodged them and hid behind a tree. Was I seeing what was really there? I tried to shake it away, telling myself, "It's not real."

Knives from bushes were being thrown, most likely more clones had appeared, and one kunai managed to graze my headband tied around my neck. I lost my balance and fell and remained on the ground until the attacks stopped. I was panting, trying to think, but it was as if the emotions had taken over and I was beginning to hyperventilate. I ran back out into the field trying to calm myself as I thought of a quick way to get out of this situation. Who appeared to be Deidara was above me once again and I stood still examining them.

"How can it be…" I whispered.

I tested if it was some sort of genjutsu, but nothing changed, he remained on his clay bird hovering over, staring at me blankly. I remember when I first ran into Tobi and he told me about how Deidara was fighting Sasuke and basically killed himself. I remembered the battle sight and Tobi even found his ring. I ended up searching that very place for hours. He had to have been dead; was there a slight chance that it could be he never did? Overcome with confusion, I failed to realize Zetsu coming at me with a sword from a fallen ninja. Before it could pierce through my chest, Deidara who suddenly showed fear for me had thrown an attack in an attempt to stop him and almost killed the Zetsu clone. The sword still managed to graze my side and I felt it tear my delicate skin, and I fell to the floor from shock.

"What the hell are you doing!" The clone shouted. Deidara appeared confused as he stared down at me. He soon returned to the empty look in his eye as he finished the clone off with one of his jutsus. Wasn't he on their side? Why was he helping me? He was just attacking me moments ago, how could he?

I laid thinking of the times before, and even him coming to me in my dream. And how that dream felt so real, and his warning which coincidently was possibly for the situation with Benji and my mother. It had to be him… there's no way someone could copy all his techniques. It wasn't that complicated with the appearance, really anyone could copy that, but to have the same type of clay? It just had to be him, but how? I kept asking myself over and over. My heart was pounding so fast, and even my head began to throb.

"Nay!" He called as if he suddenly remembered me. He started to fly closer, causing panic within me.

"Don't come near me!" I shouted as I forced myself up and began to run using a grass vine jutsu to wrap itself around him. He blew it to chunks and continued to come after me telling me to stop and that we needed to talk. My hand was soaked with the blood from my wound as I pressed on it to help stop the bleeding.

Could this really be the same guy that I once thought I loved? The same one who I spent so much time with, my partner in crime? Everything was happening so fast. My senses were on mute; as if they had been turned off at the moment. My mind all fogged, my vision becoming blurry. A trail of blood was being left behind me. This was too much. I wasn't sure what to do or think anymore. Could it be Deidara had been alive all along? Tobi lied? Or was something else occurring here?

I collapsed to my knees and panted, closing my eyes. I tried to snap out of the emotional distress I was in. "Damn it! You have to focus! Focus!" I kept telling myself. I felt as if I was about to faint, and didn't sense him come up behind me.

Deidara swooped down and grabbed me, then placed me behind him and then began to take off. I looked down at the ground as it became smaller and smaller. All those bodies left behind and trees now set on fire, I tried to lift my head as I watched his blonde hair sway in the wind. It was a déjà vu moment, this had happen so many times before and I even dreamed about this sort of moment, but never in a million years did I think I'd live it again. He didn't even look back at me. It was as if he trusted me completely. I remembered now, the last time I saw him I wasn't able to apologize for attacking him when I tried to set off and find Gaara. We were ignoring each other. I betrayed him, and he had replaced me with Tobi on missions. But that was with the old me, Right? I was no longer apart of that organization. Yet somehow, now having the chance to get away, I stayed put. Something was holding me back and not letting me even attempt to escape. And it wasn't just my wound. It was something else that was making me want to stay right where I was. I wasn't sure what would happen to me at this point. I was starting to give in and I was beginning to feel drowsy.

"What's going on…?" I mumbled. "Deidara... Where are we going?"

He turned around and faced me and I felt my heart begin to beat ten times faster. It was as if nothing had ever changed. It definitely had to be him, the real Deidara. But could it be those feelings were still there?

"It can't be… I love Gaara…" I thought to myself. Kunai knives were suddenly flung at his clay bird and we began to shift side to side violently as Deidara tried to dodge all of them. It was a group of the allied Shinobi who had spotted us. I told him to stop, but Deidara began using some clay bombs, ignoring my pleas to let them be. I tried to sit up all the way, and figure out what I was to do now. There I was, with the enemy and only watching as he took down my allies. I began reaching for a knife in my back pocket. Suddenly we shifted again as a Shinobi used a big shuriken, and my weapons fell.

"No!" I gasped and got Deidara to look back at me. "Should I attack him?" I thought to myself and locked my eyes with his. Why was I even asking myself? Why couldn't I just do it…?

"I thought you were dead," I spat. Trying to distract him to figure out how I was to go about doing this. A cloud Shinobi used a lightning technique and the clay bird broke in half. Deidara jumped in the air and I began to fall. It was as if I was having an out of body experience and was merely watching myself fall.

"Nay!" Deidara called. I watched as the pieces in the air became smaller quickly. Deidara appeared genuinely concerned for me, but was quickly attacked by another ninja. He headed off another direction and I continued to fall to the ground motionless, my wound opening even more as I continued to sink in the air. I managed to use my vine jutsu to attempt to catch me, but that only managed to slow me down, since it was last minute. I landed on the ground with a big thump and moaned out in pain. I was angry with myself for allowing my emotions to take control and making me so vulnerable.

**...….**

Zetsu clones came out of nowhere and began to attack the group of allied Shinobi. Within minutes they were all defeated and only a few Zetsu clones remained. I tried to move, but my body was paralyzed. Perhaps it wasn't that my emotions had fogged my judgment and my will to fight, but that the sword I was grazed with had some sort of poison, now seeping through my blood. I failed to realize it sooner.

One of the clones came over and stood by me, looking down at me with a grin as it mumbled, "You're coming with us."

"I'm sorry, but no!" I shouted. I used my vine jutsu again with the last of my strength and chakra, and with it killed the Zetsu clone along with a few others. Another one came from a tree and picked me up harshly by the neck; my feet now dangled above the ground. I began to gasp and cough as I was suddenly choking from the blood in my mouth. My hands hitting him violently, which only made him, tighten his grip.

"Stupid brat! I'll finish you here!" He shouted. He shoved his fist into my wound, sending waves of indescribable pain. I yelled out in agony and coughed blood onto his wrist and then I had to hold in the sobbing. My hands now dangled lifeless on my sides as I tried to get through that moment. But it seemed to have dragged on forever.

Now I had to wait for the window of opportunity to take them all while they were off guard. So I no longer fought. They'd believe I had completely given up and though mentally I sort of did, I still had some fight left in me. The only thing was that I felt myself quickly fading. I hate to say it, but I knew this was coming. But I was waiting for the right moment instead of attacking without meditating like I usually did. He punched me again and then tightened his grip around my neck. I took it without a word, and only flinching, trying to keep a straight face.

"You can't break me," I muffled. This seemed to have bothered him and he reached for a weapon, until he was interrupted.

"Stop!" Deidara shouted and came, followed by another Zetsu clone.

"I'm simply following orders…" Zetsu said menacingly.

"I'll kill you like the rest of them if you don't put her down this second!" He shouted. My vision was blurring as his grip tightened again. It felt as if my neck would snap at any moment. My breathing was so very faint, that I felt as if I was on my last string of life. I closed my eyes and concentrated my chakra for the attack I was planning. But I was suddenly slammed to the ground, and I was lying motionless. The poison now in full effect had caused me to fully paralyze, but it wasn't numbing the pain.

"It appears you still have those emotions attached," Zetsu spoke to Deidara.

"What does that mean?" I thought to myself and watched as Deidara's expression read blank. He was staring at the ground as Zetsu continued with that they were given a task, and for it to be completed

"The history between her and you was buried a long time ago. She didn't even try and avenge you, and she betrayed us. Now she will suffer and you won't interfere," Zetsu added. I couldn't deal with the pain anymore and was ready to pass out. Zetsu's words spiraled inside. My eyes began to close and my breathing almost fully still as I stared at Deidara's face.

"I don't know what you're talking about. Let's get going." He then turned around and the last thing I saw was the back of his head.

**~::.::.::.::.:: Meanwhile::.::.::.::.::~**

The first day of battle was over. The night had fallen, with much causality on both sides. Gaara had just finished a big battle with resurrected Kages, one of them being his own father. He met up with a unit that was just coming back after being sent off to assist an overwhelmed division. The division in which Nay was sent with never showed up. Gaara continued to wait for Nayumei's arrival and was beginning to worry, when hours later she never showed. A survivor of the attack from her squad was carried by some sand Shinobi and they made way towards him.

"Gaara!" He shouted and coughed some blood. His hands were shaking as he had been put through a lot and he slowly raised his hand which contained a necklace. A necklace that was oh so familiar to Gaara. He felt a feeling in him at that moment; like something sank within him and suddenly he was taken over by slight fear.

"Squad four was taken out, no survivors…" He muffled and cleared his throat. "Another Akatsuki member was spotted shortly afterwards."

"What? How did he look like?" Gaara questioned. The man shook his head saying he didn't remember.

"All the bodies will be brought back for proper burials," A ninja nearby spoke.

"Was there a girl among them?" Gaara asked with sorrow hidden in his voice. He could only picture Nay's sweet face and he was beginning to feel a slight pain within his chest.

"We didn't find Nayumei's body…" Another ninja spoke knowing who he was referring too. Gaara stood speechless and sorrow stricken as he didn't know what to make of the scenario. He tightened his grip on her necklace.

"No wait!" The injured Shinobi suddenly spat. "That girl… she was taken by one of them! It was the last thing I saw. But…" He suddenly paused.

"What?" Gaara now a bit agitated.

"She didn't appear to fight them off; it was as if she went willingly."

"Could it be she's betraying us?" Someone called.

"No! She wouldn't." Gaara stated and everyone fell silent. He was suddenly defensive and sounded a bit angry. He knew he would never doubt her and began to think to himself, "What could have happened?"


	50. Chapter 50 A Traitor Once Again

The sun was just rising; I suddenly felt a burning sensation on my closed eyelids. I slowly opened them and squinted, before trying to sit up. My body was stiff and sore and I felt bandages on around my waist. At the moment I didn't really remember anything or how I had even got there. It was as if I was in a really long dream. I looked around at the rock walls, and saw no sign of anyone and slowly I rose from the cold ground. I dusted off my pants and suddenly felt a sharp pain on my side that caused me to fall back on my knees. I let out a gasp of pain and then heard footsteps walking slowly towards me.

"You shouldn't be moving yet, un" I heard them say. I finally cooperated from the shock and looked up stunned to see Deidara be the one standing in front of me. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. All that had happened, my injury, the fighting, and Deidara…. He's alive. I pinched myself to see if I'd wake up or that he'd disappear and it was some sort of day dream, but he simply smirked and stayed in the same place. Holding onto my side, I attempted to get back up and nearly fell forward until he rushed over to hold me up. I shoved him back harshly and suddenly had my guard up. He stared with a bit of hurt, but also with a smirk. It was the same way I remembered him.

"The Akatsuki is my enemy; I will not falter simply because of you," I thought to myself and stared at him angrily. He lifted up his arms and with sarcasm simply stated he was just trying to help me. "I don't need your help!" I spat. I suddenly realized that I must have been gone for days and began to wonder of what Gaara would be going about it.

"Oh no… Gaara!" I said out loud and began to stumble forward.

"What?" Deidara scolded. He studied my face, now with disgust and asked what had happened to me since he left. The same look he had reminded me of the old days, was he jealous or something? "I don't have time to explain anything to you!"

I then began to run and he yelled at me to stop. For some reason I decided to listen to what he had to say and stopped to face him. I studied his face now; it read confusion and he wore a bit of smirk as he asked me if I loved Gaara. The same question I must have already been asked by others a few times. And every time I didn't really know what to say.

"Shut it! It's none of your business," I hissed, suddenly agitated. It couldn't be I was having this conversation with Deidara of all people. You'd think after so long we'd be fighting or something. He wasn't a friend anymore; the Akatsuki wasn't my home anymore. But it appeared to me now that I still had some sort of messed up soft spot for him.

"Oh I get it," He added and walked towards me staring into my eyes as if he was now seeing right through, piercing into my very soul. I could feel a cold chill and my heart began to race. "You don't know if he loves you. How sad, un."

Angry at his realization I shoved him back and he fell on his bottom. He looked up at me with a blank expression as if he was already mocking me from the inside. I tried to brush away the negative thoughts, but it was true… Gaara couldn't feel the same way.

"You should be with someone who tells you they love you everyday, not just some coward who keeps to himself," Deidara said slowly standing back up and now wearing a genuine smile. The phrase echoed inside now and I felt a slight pain in my chest as I realized he was right. I felt myself falling for it and then looked away abruptly. Just what the heck was I doing to myself? I know I needed to get away and began to run again while holding on to my aching side. But suddenly two Zetsu clones blocked the exit and looked at me menacingly.

"Let me get through!" I shouted and reached for a weapon, but then realized they had been removed from my pockets and my pouch was missing. I know I didn't have much chakra and didn't want to waste it now by only attempting to escape and failing. I'd have to wait for the right moment, that is, if there ever would be a moment like that again.

"Nay come back to the Akatsuki where you belong," Deidara said walking behind me. "The sand village doesn't appreciate you…. Look they haven't even sent out a search party for you. You've been missing for awhile now and Gaara… Hm he's just continuing on, hasn't done a thing about it."

"I don't care what you have to say! I'll never join the Akatsuki again."

The two Zetsu clones grabbed me by the arms and pinned me down to the ground. I knew not to waste my strength trying to squirm out of this. But the sudden pain from my side was growing and I was panting from exhaustion and pain. I had no idea just what they were planning or what this was all going to lead up to, but took a deep breath to remain calm. They lifted me to my knees and I stared down at the ground listening to the on coming footsteps. When I finally looked up I felt the hairs on my neck stand.

"Nice to see you again," Kabuto said malevolently.

"YOU!" I shouted and began to struggle to be set free. The Zetsu clones held me back I shouted angrily at him and tried to free myself to kill him. He simply smirked and then Madara came out from the shadows and stood next to him.

"You're working together…?" I muffled and then bit my lip as Kabuto told me it was useless to waste my energy and attack him. Deidara came and stood by the other two and looked as if was sorry. My thoughts were now only filled with the fact that I was finally going to be set free from this world. I was finally going to rest, finally death would come to me, but then Kabuto began talking. He asked me if I liked the favor he did by bringing Deidara back from the dead with this forbidden jutsu. I stared at him in shock as it all finally made sense. Then looked back at Deidara who appeared to be his old self.

"If you'd like I could bring your mother back as well," He added.

"NO! Don't you dare go near her!" I snapped. He smirked and said he wasn't being serious then Madara began to remove his mask and I suddenly was felt with a feeling that something horrible was about to happen. I struggled and I called for someone, but Kabuto, now more serious told me that everything would be fine and not to worry that soon I wouldn't have to worry about anything.

"What does that mean!" I spat. "Let me go!"

Madara looked into my eyes and I felt myself go absolutely still and then it was as if I had fallen asleep for it suddenly blacked out.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A while later::.::.::.::.::~**

Another day had passed. The sun was now setting once again and no sign of Nayumei. Gaara stared of as the sun began disappearing behind a mountain and he continued to think to himself.

**"Gaara, can you promise me something? We'll be able to watch another sunset together again. Yes?"**

"**Of course."**

Gaara was interrupted by Kankuro who was watching him from a distance. He knew now more than ever that his brother had grown some sort of feelings for Nayumei, for if it were anyone else he wouldn't behave the way he did. Never did he think Gaara would be capable to feel this way about a girl, especially a former Akatsuki one. The war had been going on for awhile now and the most recent battle had killed off most of the fourth division.

"Gaara?" Kankuro asked and stood by him. Gaara had his arms crossed and maintained his seriousness. "You still worried about her?" Kankuro asked nervously not sure how his brother would respond. Gaara's red hair rustled as the breeze went by and he stared past Kankuro saying that the enemies would be coming again soon and to prepare for another battle. Kankuro a little agitated that his question was ignored, but also understanding where he was coming from, simply nodded and walked off leaving Gaara alone again.

He continued to stare at the sun until it was completely gone and the night had fallen.

**…...**

"Gaara come quick!" A stumbling Shinobi shouted as he ran towards him. He fell to the ground with injuries and coughed uncontrollably. Gaara ran to his aid.

"Another attack already?" Gaara asked, but the man passed out before he could answer any questions. Gaara and Kankuro rushed to their division now mostly on the ground and stared into the clouds of smoke trying to see who their attacker was. From the top appeared one of Deidara's clay birds with an Akatsuki member standing on the top. The smoke finally cleared and Gaara and Kankuro stared dumbfounded as the figure finally became clear.

"Na-Nayumei….?" Gaara stuttered. Nayumei now wearing an Akatsuki cloak threw down her boomerang and Gaara and Kankuro quickly dodged it as it ripped through the very ground they were standing on.

"It must be some sort of illusion!" Kankuro tried to reassure him. He always was the first to assume her of betraying in the past, but he always thought deep down it wouldn't be that way. They stared at her face wearing a blank expression. Her green eyes looking at them, but as if she wasn't really seeing them. Kankuro called out her name and she threw her boomerang towards him again. The same weapon she used a long time ago. Gaara's sand blocked it, but the boomerang almost nearly pushed through it. Kankuro managed to escape as it sliced through and came back around into her hand.

"What is the meaning of this!" Kankuro shouted as Nayumei began using a grass jutsu. Vines wrapped around his limbs and flung him in the air. Gaara's sand quickly went to his defense and then Nayumei threw her weapon towards Gaara. It was deflected, and he stared at her surprised. Neither of them knew what to think of the situation. Gaara had even begun to think if this was some sort of dream. He looked at her softly as she dodged attacks from some nearby ninja. Her eyes were fixated on Kankuro who was panting on the ground.

"Nay!" Gaara shouted with a sudden bit of desperation. Her head snapped to his direction and she suddenly smirked. "What's going on?"

Nayumei reached around her neck and ripped off the sand village headband she was given and flung it towards him. It landed by his feet and he stared at it with confusion

"Keep it. I don't want it," She spoke coldly. Gaara didn't understand. She sounded herself, but what she was saying was hard to swallow.

"What have they done to you?" Gaara was trying to sound calm, but a sudden anger mixed with sorrow was building up. The feeling of being betrayed was beginning to sink in.

"Nothing. They merely showed me I was wasting my time with the likes of you. All of you!" She shouted and threw her weapon again. Gaara's sand wrapped around it this time, and he attempted to snap it in half, but it suddenly disappeared into the ground. He stared up at her studying her face, now a look that wasn't familiar. Before it was filled with confusion, but now… it was as if she was a completely different person.

"You're lying…." Gaara muffled. The images of how she was before raced through his mind as he forced himself to look back at her. She stared angrily at him. "Don't betray your friends! Remember who you are!" He shouted.

"I was pretending! Only trying to be something I'm not! This is me!"

"That's enough!" Kankuro shouted and used a puppet of his to attack her from behind. She dodged it and watched as the clay bird was destroyed. She landed on her feet and suddenly held onto her side that had been dripping blood. Gaara noticed that she showed no signs of pain on her face and her eyes were now blank.

"Nay…" He spoke softly. She looked up at him and they locked eyes. Suddenly she appeared confused and placed her hand on her forehead, she fell to her knees. Deidara suddenly showed up, and grabbed her by the waist. She sat in front of him on his clay bird and was back to a blank expression as Deidara asked if she was ready to go and stared at the scene. Kankuro was still panting from the poison inflicted by the vines and yelled at them to stop as they flew away. Gaara stared plainly then rushed to Kankuro's aid.

"She's a traitor! You saw it yourself Gaara!" Some ninja spoke.

"Stop!" Kankuro suddenly snapped. "That wasn't the same Nayumei from before. Something happened…"

This brought a bit of peace to Gaara as he helped Kankuro to his feet and held his arm over his shoulders for support. He was appearing as if what happened wasn't slightly hurting him inside and told his division what to do next. Kankuro studied him, worried for his brother and then back at the sky trying to comprehend what could have happened.

* * *

**A/n: Sorry it's a little late, got caught up with school -_-. Anyways thanks for the reviews so far! Feel free to review some more ;P**


	51. Chapter 51 Into the Darkness

"Love? What is love?" Gaara thought to himself.

"_**Love is the spirit of devoting yourself to someone important and close to you. It is expressed by caring for and protecting that person"**_

Gaara stared off, lost in thought. Remembering his uncle's words, when he was just a kid. Back when everyone hated him. He knew Nayumei had gone through the same emotions and that's what allowed them to bond so well. It was as if they had been mending each other's hearts and Gaara hadn't even really thought about it until recently. He knew the Akatsuki would most likely go after Nay, but never did he think they would use her to attack her friends. After all she had gone through, how far she came, it was as if they wanted to completely destroy her and take their sweet time doing it. Once again he couldn't find himself to doubt her, despite it all. He thought back to when Kankuro had asked him that question. Did he love Nay? The more he thought about it, he felt a bit of serenity inside and he liked the way it felt, but he wasn't sure what exactly it meant. He was just as confused as she was. And neither of them even knew how the other truly felt. He wanted to go looking for her, but couldn't abandon his team. The war was still going on after all. So was he just supposed to wait until she'd attack him again?

"**It was as if she went willingly…"**

**"I was pretending! Only trying to be something I'm not! This is me!"**

"She couldn't have…." Gaara mumbled thinking back. For now, he just had to wait before he made any assumptions.

**~::.::.::.::.:: Meanwhile::.::.::.::.::~**

"I thought she was going to lose all her memories and only keep the ones before she hated the Akatsuki**!**" Deidara shouted furiously. Kabuto smirked and wasn't all too sure what he was so worked up about. "I thought you said she wouldn't remember Gaara or anything, but she did!"

"What are you complaining about? She attacked him didn't she? Now she'll be seen as a traitor and made it seem like she was absolutely sure what she was doing!" Zetsu interrupted and came and stood near them.

"I told her to say those things," Kabuto added. "She was supposed to forget everything, but she wasn't able to forget Gaara after all. It seems her feelings for him are far too strong for a jutsu like this. The bottom line is that it appeared she was fully aware of what she was doing and not under some sort of jutsu."

"I want her to completely forget him," Deidara said coldly.

"You find him threatening?" Kabuto smirked.

"If she forgets him then the risk of her remembering won't be so high and your plan will work, won't it un?" Deidara tried, but knew he made himself look foolish.

"Hm. Very well, I suppose I could attempt it again, but it's very risky," Kabuto added. He was grinning now, amused with Deidara's reaction. Though Dei appeared his old self, he really wasn't all there, but the feelings he had before for Nay were still there. He hated the fact that Gaara had somehow taken his place. Though at first he didn't really care much for Nay. He was merely having a little fun, bored with his life and needed some sort of distraction. It wasn't until later he discovered his feelings weren't all just an act and he had accidently developed something along the way. It wasn't even intentional. Nay on the other hand, had no idea of any of it. She was fooled all along, and by the time Deidara realized he had developed something, he was too late.

"What about the curse mark?" Kabuto suddenly sounding a bit eager added. Deidara stared at him plainly and shrugged as Kabuto explained it had been sealed again. "If we break the seal then we can use her in the next battle. It'll be of great advantage. They won't know whether she is a friend or a foe. And I'm aware she has made friends with one of the Jinchuuricki. It could be an opportunity to bring him out too."

"Go head," Deidara replied and with that he left them and went into a secluded room, entering without knocking.

"Nay?" He called. There was no answer. It was dark and he lit a lantern to see Nay in a ball leaned against the wall with her head down. "Hey?"

He said her name, but she remained silent. With still no answer he set the lantern on the ground and casually looked around the room and then back down at her. Not really knowing what to say, he thought best to leave and so he did.

**…...**

I coughed into my sleeve after wiping the small tears that had been streaming down my face. I wasn't exactly sure why I had been crying, it was just something my body did without my reason. My head ached terribly and my body was extremely sore. I wasn't aware of how long I had been sitting on the floor. It was as if my life was going on, and I wasn't actually living it. The dark had become comforting and so I found it best to sit alone in it and get lost in thought. I placed my hand on my side that had been bandaged again. I then thought back to my conversation with Kabuto from before.

"**Where did this wound come from?" I had asked him.**

"**Gaara from the sand did it, he is your enemy now," Was what he told me.**

Then he had told me that I used to be on their side, but they betrayed me and told me things I should say if they were to question. It all went out like he said it would, but why did I feel this way? Like if something was off. What was it about that boy's face that made me feel like I was the enemy? Kabuto told me to say I had been pretending to be on their side to give me the advantage and it seemed to have worked, but if I was a friend why did they attack me? The more I tried to piece it together the more my head ached. Suddenly the door opened again and I rubbed my eyes that were sensitive to the new light.

"Nay. Come with me," Kabuto said. I nodded and rose and followed him out. We met with Zetsu and I quickly questioned where Madara had gone.

"You'll have to stay still," Kabuto said softly. I tilted my side not understanding and then felt myself fall to the ground. I gasped out in pain and couldn't really see what was going on anymore. My vision blurred and the headache grew, before I closed my eyes.

**~::.::.::.::.:: A while later::.::.::.::.:: ~**

It all seemed to work out as Kabuto had requested. Nayumei was sent out and had already attacked two of the divisions by surprise. They knew who she was and didn't exactly know how to respond to her attacks, then the word had gotten out that Kankuro ordered she'd be captured. Every attempt failed, and instead Deidara had been captured. Nayumei had managed to overpower several ninja on separate divisions and the blood on her hands was increasing. She was now appearing as a filthy traitor, regardless of what Gaara and a few others said. They even said she had gotten close to the sand in order to gain other's trust. Naruto clones were now among the allied Shinobi and one had managed to catch a glimpse of Nayumei. Later he and Gaara had a discussion of the situation, which remained a secret to others. Meanwhile, after every battle Nayumei would return to a base to report to Kabuto. Madara hadn't been seen by her for days and though her memories were now nothing but a mere shadow, she cried herself to sleep every night that passed.

"**You will do as I say,"** Kabuto had said.

**…..**

I rolled to my side, unable to sleep again, the images of those people continuing to appear. Now only haunted with this feeling…. I looked down at my hands and then at the dark room I was in. I pulled my knees up to my chest and began to sob once again while trying to fight these odd feelings of guilt. I was supposed to enjoy what I was doing wasn't I? I rose and walked out of the room I had been kept in and proceeded down the hallway to a door I had walked by several times and not once ever laid eyes on what was inside. I pressed my ear against the door and heard no sound and gently pushed it open. A figure was lying in the bed with a blindfold covering their eyes. He lay still as the lantern's light slightly flickering, illuminated his pale complexion. I walked closer to it and stared in confusion at the sight of slight trails of blood streaming down.

"What is this?" I thought to myself and felt my hands slightly tremble. I continued to stare at his face, and suddenly felt as if he was familiar to me. A sharp pain began on the right side of my head and I pushed my bangs back to grasp my forehead. Just then the door opened and I quickly turned to face Madara.

"Zetsu was looking for you," He said corruptly. I nodded slowly not sure if what I had done had angered him or something. I turned around once more before Madara said I needed to go. I left the room, but something told me to wait for him to leave. And so I went back into my room quietly and waited several minutes. I listened to his footsteps walk past and then after a few more minutes proceeded back to that room. I wasn't sure what it was, but it felt like it was something I had to do.

"I must see his face," I said softly as I walked towards him. My hand beginning to tremble and ignoring the headache, I began reaching for his blindfold. Nearly touching the edges his hands suddenly raised and he grabbed my wrists stopping and startling me. I gasped before stepping back. He rose and touched his face asking who I was. I stayed silent as he began to remove his blindfold. It fell on his lap and he gently rubbed the blood from his eyes. "Who are you…?" I whispered.

Slowly his eyes opened, at first looking ahead and remaining silent, then it was as if he was clearing his eyesight he stared right at me.

"You…?" He said plainly before pushing himself out of bed. "I should test it…" He thought to himself as he began walking forward.

His face was so familiar and it suddenly caused pictures of things I didn't understand to flash through. I stumbled back holding onto my head and he watched puzzled.

"What is this?" He thought to himself. Suddenly he grabbed her by the collar and stared into her eyes as if he was ready to use some sort of technique. His eyes so very strange…. I felt a rush of panic and began to struggle as I suddenly felt myself freeze. He lifted me by the collar, until my feet no longer met the ground and I stared deeply into his eyes gasping. My neck then began to pulsate and as sudden as this was all happening I fell to the ground.

"A curse mark…?" He said softly. "She appears different than before…. Could they have brain washed her?" He thought to himself.

I began to cough and then crawled into a ball on the ground as he began to walk out. Suddenly I was feeling ambushed by these odd feelings and a pain that was growing with every second that passed.

"Sasuke…" I mumbled without even knowing what I was saying. He looked back at me before walking out the door and I laid there motionless. As a wave of images shuffled behind my eyelids. What was happening to me? Why did I feel so helpless?

"You should leave now, if you wish to get away," He said plainly, he then disappeared into the hallway. Who was he?

"Wait!" I called, but it was too late. I rose to my feet and rushed out the door, but he was already gone. His last words seemed to have sparked something within for I suddenly wanted to leave this place as soon as possible. Where to I go I wasn't sure, but I felt as if this wasn't where I belonged.

"Why…" I muffled before collapsing to my knees. I stared at a pair of feet now standing right in front of that sent a shiver throughout my body.

"There you are Nay," Kabuto offered a hand and helped bring me to my feet. He smiled genuinely asking if I was up for another battle. He helped ease my mood by telling me that soon this would all be over and all I had to do was get one last person out of the way. "I need you to go after the Hokage."

"Alright…" I paused and looked back again and asked about the boy that was in the room. He looked at me suspiciously then told me it was nothing important and told me the location I was to head to.

"Don't hesitate, and come back as soon as the job is finished."

"Something feels odd…" I sighed.

"This is where you belong. You're just still in recovery from the fight. It's them you should blame, now go," Kabuto added. Without another word I exited and began to head off, with the intent to kill.


	52. Chapter 52 Gaara's Decision

"She must be eliminated! She is an enemy now and she must be taken down!" Someone in the crowd shouted still recovering from their last attack. What was left of the fourth division had banned together to convince Gaara that Nayumei was no longer seen as friend. But Gaara continued insisting that something was happening and that it wasn't the same person and she was being used against her will. He tried hard to hold his ground, and only tried to think back to the good moments and knew that soon this would all be over with and in the past.

"I believe that she is being used… you have my support Gaara-sama," A sand Shinobi walked forward and placed a hand on his shoulder. This surprised the others and they all soon looked at the ground as if they were changing their opinions. Gaara felt a bit relieved, but suddenly a leaf Shinobi reported that a massive group of clones was making their way there and someone was leading them.

"Get ready," He ordered and went up to see for himself. He saw no sign of Nayumei with them and watched as they collided. Other divisions came awhile ago so it had become a big a clash. Gaara watched anxiously having a feeling that she was nearby and was startled when his sand deflected a weapon behind him; he turned around and saw her only a few feet away from him. She stared viciously at him.

"Tell me where the Hokage is," She said blankly lifting her weapon.

"Nay you have to stop this!" Gaara raised his voice not sure how to handle things anymore, Nay threw her weapon again and his sand deflected it.

"Answer my question."

"It won't be easy to reason with her…" Gaara thought as he watched her continue to attempt and injure him. He stood with his arms crossed as his sand continued to deflect. She would disappear then appear again, all in seconds, but still no luck, until… it went silent. Gaara looked around frantically thinking she gave up and left off. He needed to warn the others that the Akatsuki were now after the Hokage of the leaf and sent Nay to handle it. But suddenly, through the sand's defense, Nay's fist slammed into Gaara's face. He fell back in shock and stared at her as she stood with a different appearance. He had seen it before that night her necklace was stolen and her emotions had taken course and she was transformed from the curse mark. Only this time it seemed to have advanced. She appeared confident, like she had mastered the mark that was supposedly sealed away.

"I'm not going to waste any more time!" She hissed. Gaara sensed the new massive amount of chakra flowing from her body, mixed with a new evil aura, and the look in her eyes that she was intending to kill him. And it was intentional.

"Nay…." He said softly. She stopped and stared into his memorizing eyes and lifted her weapon and began to charge at him. "Nay stop!"

"I can't…" She thought to herself and stopped, suddenly holding onto her head as if she was about to lose it completely. "What's happening… to me…."

Gaara stood and began to walk towards her, but she flung her weapon towards him and his sand deflected it again. He was still confused about how she was able to get through his barrier before, and it reminded him of the fight with Rock lee from the leaf. But for Nay to do it? He had no idea she had that strength hidden away, but now he knew it was all coming from that mark that had changed her. She stared at him differently now and then began to run away from him. He ran after her calling her name, but she soon disappeared. Some Zetsu clones continued, but others soon disappeared as well. Gaara knew that Nay was going after the Hokage and knew he had to send the warning and go after Nay before someone else did.

"Someone's going to have to stop her… and it's going to be me."

**~::.::.::.::.::A while later::.::.::.::.::~**

"Why…." I muffled. I had been crying for awhile now and didn't understand just why this was happening. I wiped the tears away and stared at the ground as Zetsu appeared, scolding me for sitting around. I was given a task and hadn't completed it yet. That person, Gaara, was the one Kabuto said inflicted my wound, I shouldn't be doubting Kabuto, but why does this feeling return when I'm around him or even begin to think about it?

"Why are you crying!" He shouted.

"My head hurts…." I said coldly and rose to my feet.

"Finish what you started," He said before leaving.

"He's right… Alright then," I spoke out loud, but to myself thinking I was alone.

"Nay!" Someone called. It sounded vaguely familiar, but once I turned around I was surprised. It was that guy I attacked before that was with Gaara. He walked towards me with anger on his face, and I could sense it, he was here to finish me. I knew I had to do all I could to defend the Akatsuki, so began to reach for my weapon.

"Wait! Stop…" He said softly, suddenly showing a more gentle expression.

"It's me, Kankuro…I just came to talk, just hear me out," He said calmly. He appeared harmless now, and I felt a sense of serenity come over as I stared at the marks on his face. Why wasn't he attacking me while I had my guard down? The more time went by the more baffled I was. Why did it seem like everything that I was doing, saying, was all wrong? And why did my head ache every time something familiar came up? He took a step forward and I took one back, he apologized saying he didn't come here to fight me.

"Why are you here then? What do you have to say to me?" I spat.

"I just thought you should know… that Gaara will never be the same now," He began, but we were interrupted with Zetsu clones ambushing. They threw attacks at him and he dodged, I stood frozen not comprehending, but merely watching them nearly killing him. Without even thinking I raised my weapon and threw it, knocking out the clones and leaving only Kankuro standing. He stared at me in surprise, I was rather surprised myself.

"You guys betrayed me. I didn't betray anyone! And Gaara tried to kill me!" I shouted raising my weapon this time to come after Kankuro.

"What are you talking about? Gaara would never!" He tried, but began taking out a puppet of his for defense. "What they told you was a lie!" He shouted, and then a puff of smoke filled the gap between us. I began to cough and heard him call out my name, I felt an arm wrap around me and began to pull me away. Kankuro continued to call, but soon it went silent and I was being dragged away.

**...…..**

When I awoke I heard muffled voices talking in the distance. I was back at the same place from before, no one was around and it was dark. I felt cold all over, and adjusted the cloak I was wearing to where it was more comfortable. I stood on my feet and pushed my bangs back as I began to walk towards the direction of where the voices were coming from. I pressed myself against the wall and tried to listen in. It sounded as if it was Zetsu and some other person I did not recognize. They were discussing about unleashing something to end the war as soon as possible. Apparently it had been dragging on to long and they had been holding out on something they had been planning.

"Should we use her as the bait?" The other voice said.

"Perhaps, but with all the interferences who knows how effective it will be this time. We might just have to kill her now," Zetsu replied. I didn't know who they could mean, but assumed they were discussing about me.

"Are her memories still blocked?" The other voice added.

"My memories?" I whispered and fell to my knees holding onto my head. "My memories… again? Again? No… this has happened before hasn't it? Why?" I mumbled.

"Time is running out, we must begin now," Zetsu added. Meanwhile I laid tossing and turning as my head jumbled up with images, and confusion, spiraled out of control and I felt the mark spread again.

"_**Don't go into the darkness, no matter the circumstances!"**_

"_**This is where you belong!**_

"_**You will do as I say!**_

"_**Nay… stop ! What are you doing?"**_

"Make it stop!" I screamed.

"_**This is where you belong. You're just still in recovery from the fight. It's them you should blame, now go."**_

Without another word I got up and left, only hearing whoever Zetsu was with exiting the room they were in and finding no one in the hall. I knew that I needed to get this Hokage person out of the way so then maybe Kabuto and the others would tell me what all these thoughts were from and what that person meant, by my memories being blocked. My only mind set at the moment became that, to go attempt once more what I was ordered to do. And I found myself hoping I wouldn't run into Gaara again; but it was hard to explain.

**~::.::.::.::.::A while later::.::.::.::.::~**

"She'll be back any moment. I'm sorry Gaara, but we have to kill her. We can't risk the Hokage or even you of getting seriously injured or worse. Even if she is being controlled, you have to think of it this way; we will be setting her free," Shikamaru spoke somberly, for it wasn't exactly the easiest thing to say. Gaara maintained a serious face, while his eyes wandered. He knew he was right.

"Let me do it. I'll set her free," Gaara said after a moment of silence. Temari stared at him surprised and looked at the ground horrified as Gaara began to walk off to be alone.

"I don't think thats a good idea..." Shikamaru added.

"He's the only one who can..." Temari remarked.

"I guess now we wait…" Shikamaru said plainly. "She's been spotted nearby. We should go keep an eye on Naruto." Temari nodded and followed after him, but looked back at Gaara one last time before disappearing.

**...**

"Out of my way!" I shouted and with my boomerang, made my way towards the spot Kabuto said Lady Tsunade would be. The only thing was that as I progressed the less and less guards there seemed. I stopped and looked around cautiously as if I had just ran into the middle of a trap. I threw my boomerang once more and nothing happened. No traps were set; I paused and then began to walk slowly, with my guard up. Just then a speck at a distance appeared, it became bigger and clearer and it was obvious, that this wasn't where she was any longer.

"Gaara…" I said coldly as he was now just a few feet away. It hadn't even been that long since we last encounter and it seemed that there was something odd between us that I couldn't quite figure out. "Hopefully this will be the last time I see you," I thought to myself and stared at him viciously.

"If you really have changed… or you're under their control now, then I have no choice Nay…" Gaara thought to himself.

"Enough of this, Where is the Hokage? Or the Jinchuuricki? Just hand them over to the Akatsuki and this will all end!" I spat.

"I'm sorry, but that's not going to happen," Gaara spoke with no emotion in his voice, like he was too busy with thinking or something.

"You don't belong to the Akatsuki. I won't let them have you," He said and then extended his outs out. I was captured by his words and hadn't realized the sand charging at me. I used a grass jutsu and made a barrier around myself and heard the sand wrap around it. I was now in a dome like prison made from vines and sand began to leak threw small cracks on the roof. I concentrated my chakra for my underground jutsu and soon heard the sand disperse. Vines went underground and towards his direction, with sword like ends. They popped out randomly attempting to stab him. His sand continued to deflect it, and soon the dome dispersed and I began charging at him with my boomerang.

Instead of preparing for an attack of his own he began reaching for his pocket. I looked down at his hand pulling some sort of chain out and then I began to slow down as I stared at the necklace dangling from his hand.

"That's…." I choked on my words; unable to form a sentence. The image burned into my thoughts, as I found myself at a complete stop staring at it and then at him.

"Remember who you are Nay, and remember what your mother told you. Remember your path; don't let them take away you…the real you. You've come so far, you can't turn back now."

"Gaara…" I paused a moment and closed my eyes, and then opened them again, with the curse mark beginning to spread. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

* * *

**a/n: I know slow updates -_-. But this story is just a very few chapters away from ending! Anyways since the war is still going on in the real anime, (correct me if I'm wrong) I'm going to just make up the wars ending, I hope thats okay! Anyways I would love to hear your opnions :p**


	53. Chapter 53 Remember Me

The curse mark, now pouring a massive amount of chakra had increased Nay's speed and changed her appearance. Nay began attempting to hit Gaara again and the sand managed to deflect the first few, but she eventually got threw once again and hit him directly in the chest. He fell back and looked around cautiously as she disappeared again. It was as if Gaara's body had turned off, like he was in a dream and only watching what was happening. He knew what he should do, and at first it didn't seem that hard, but now it was as if his body wasn't allowing what his mind was telling him.

"Kabuto was right… Gaara was trying to kill me again just now. I have no doubts now," Nay spoke softly. Ignoring the fact that he wasn't doing anything now. Her mind would not allow the dots to connect and only allowed strips of information and memories, but nothing to attach them together. Gaara remained on the ground as Nay used a jutsu she learned from Orochimaru years ago and was stored away in her thoughts. Gaara's sand deflected it and Nay standing a few feet away from him simply stared at him as he was looking at the ground ahead of him. "Why aren't you doing anything!" Nay shouted.

"I… I can't," Gaara whispered.

"Why! Get up and fight! You traitor!" Nay began charging at him, now furious that she wasn't being taken seriously.

"Traitor? I didn't betray anyone. I would never betray you," Gaara added somberly. Nay froze and her weapon fell to the ground. She stared into his memorizing eyes and felt a tingling feeling at the pit of her stomach as she saw herself standing on a balcony and Gaara coming up behind her. They were staring at the sunset.

**"Gaara, can you promise me something? We'll be able to watch another sunset together again. Yes?"**

"**Of course."**

Nay stared off at the sky and tears began rolling down her face. Gaara stood slowly and watched as the tears began to touch the ground. He began walking towards her as she completely let go of her weapon. She placed a hand on her cheek to wipe the tears away. He was now standing just a very few feet away from her.

"Nay remember me... I'm your friend. I would never betray you, the Akatsuki did! They've been lying to you this whole time. They've messed with your thoughts," Gaara spat. He kneeled down and placed his hands on her shoulders and shook her as her mark receded and her eyes were blank and her face motionless. "Remember Nay! You have to remember! Remember me!"

Nay shoved him back and fell forward onto her hands and let out a scream as the pain intensified in her head. Memories began to flow, but it had become like some sort of avalanche of snow, overwhelming and too much to take in at once. Gaara stood back as she moaned in pain and fell to her side holding onto her head desperately.

"_**Love is the spirit of devoting yourself to someone important and close to you. It is expressed by caring for and protecting that person"**_

Gaara slowly began to walk towards her and gently lifted her enough to embrace her in a hug. Her eyes closed tight and her body shivering from the trauma. Her head now rested on his shoulder as everything went blank for her. Her hands slowly rose and then to Gaara's surprise rested on his back. She was returning it.

"Nay…" He spoke softly. After a moment of silence he tried again. "Nay?" Still nothing.

Without warning Nay quickly pierced Gaara on his side. He felt himself go still as she violently shoved him back and he fell to his side staring at her. She appeared malevolent, but as she looked down at Gaara's blood on her hands she appeared shocked and confused again.

"Gaara…Gaara…." She thought to herself. "What have I done…."

"Finish him now Nay! We have found the location of the Hokage," Zetsu's voice spoke from behind them. "We have to go now."

"I… " Nay whimpered. "I don't know!" She shouted and tears now poured from her eyes as she stared at Gaara lying motionless."This is your fault!" She shouted and turned around to attack Zetsu. Zetsu wearing a vicious smirk charged towards her and slammed her hard against a tree. She felt a pain in her arm and cried out as Zetsu began to twist it.

"Nay!" Gaara shouted slowly rising to his feet. Zetsu turned to him as Nay began to watch him desperately.

"Seems like the memories have returned. You're no use to us now," Zetsu muffled and finished breaking her arm. She shoved him back and took out her sword with her left hand and pointed it at him.

"You're going to pay. I'll slice your neck and then hang you from your feet as you drown in your own blood," Nay spoke, but in a different strange tone of voice. Zetsu stared at her puzzlingly not understanding what was happening anymore. The curse mark quickly spread and her chakra intensified. Her broken arm now dangling lifeless by her side. It was as if she had become possessed and she quickly went after Zetsu. He began to feel a bit overwhelmed and though he would never admit it there was a slight fear within. She slashed at him and he simply dodged until she managed to slice threw his shoulder he fell back and then quickly rose and just smirked as if to mock her and even provoke her to come at him again. She put her sword away and picked up her boomerang which Zetsu failed to see that she purposely led him that direction. He glared at her as she spoke of the times when she first came to them and right away hated him.

"I never trusted you even when we became a team, and those times you were actually useful, I secretly always wanted to stab you in the back when you weren't even looking. And I can't even begin to describe the joy I will have when I finally finish you, Zetsu-kun," She yelled.

"Nay! You have to stop!" Gaara tried to shout, but it wasn't as loud as he intended. He was watching the scene silently and ignoring the slight pain he was in, for it was nothing compared to what he was feeling inside. He stared at her as her brown short hair swayed with the wind and blood splattered on her clothes. He suddenly remembered the first time he laid eyes on her and his eyes met her green eyes which were very rare to be that intense shade she had. Even then at first glance he knew how sad she was, and how she would put on an act, even later as they spent more time together. Always trying to be okay, but those horrible memories and thoughts always coming back to her. He found himself falling for her even then, and couldn't help, but want to help her when in need even if it was at random times. Her eyes met his now, but instead of sending this warm feeling through him it sent a shiver instead. What was happening to her?

"Where is the hokage?" Nay suddenly added, surprising both Gaara and Zetsu.

"W-what did you say?" Zetsu questioned staring at her blank expression. Just a moment ago he was feeling fear for his life and now it was as if she was pretending it hadn't happened.

"I said. Where is the hokage! Quit wasting my time and tell me," She snapped.

Zetsu told her as Gaara pleaded for her to think of what she was saying and doing. Zetsu and her began to walk off leaving Gaara there behind and staring at them in disbelief. She was ready to kill Zetsu and then it was as if her memories left her again. Gaara found himself repeating her name and then heard footsteps running towards him. Kankuro and Temari caught him just as he began to fall back. Kankuro saw them off at a distant and looked down at Gaara's wound not understanding how it was possible.

"She's past the point of no return…" Kankuro thought to himself and made eye contact with Temari who appeared to be holding back negative emotions.

"I think she's going to attempt to bring the Akatsuki down, knowing she won't survive…" Gaara muffled. "We have to stop her…"

"Gaara you need to rest first…" Temari tried, but Gaara stood back up on his own and stared at the direction Nay and Zetsu disappeared too.

"I'm going after her."

"Don't be stupid! She obviously has made her decision. You need to let her go, this is what she wants to do, and who are you to tell her what to do?" Temari snapped. Kankuro stared at her not sure if he should intervene or not. Gaara said nothing and began to walk off the direction they took off. Temari extended an arm out to stop him, but Kankuro stopped her.

"Temari…" He began, speaking softly so Gaara couldn't hear. "Gaara loves her… he can't just sit back and let her go kill herself. Do you understand how hard that would be?"

Temari's eyes widened as if she was now realizing it. She stared at him as he continued to walk slowly and the blood continued to drip from his side. "But what if he…" She stuttered.

"Have faith," Kankuro added and with that they stayed silent and it began to pour rain.

**~::.::.::.::.::A while later::.::.::.::.::~**

My whole life I've been nothing but an outsider. Always watching the people around me, as my own life just went by. Wanting things that I foolishly thought I needed, and yet some things that I really did need, but I never got. Life has knocked me down so much that I soon found comfort on the floor. Being alone was the only way to go… the only way I knew how to live. There was no other way; I thought it would always be that way. And so I gave up on those around me, and I began to see only myself. Standing off in the distant, crept in the shadows, with nothing else around and no one else around for miles. Because that was what I thought my life was intended to be like. But then my whole world changed… everything I once knew had been altered and I suddenly found myself with choices. And then I found people wanting to stand by me, regardless of all the wrong I had done, regardless of who I was, people who believed in me. I thought I could finally change that picture of me standing alone and fill it with faces I found myself caring about… but then I realized. There is no other way meant for me, I will always find comfort in the shadows, this is the way I must take and end it all.

"There is an army waiting are you sure you don't want to wait for the clones," Zetsu asked as I finished wiping my weapons.

"Let's just get this over with shall we?" I mumbled and finished putting the last of my weapons away. I brushed my bangs back and took a deep breath as I stared up ahead. I had hoped the war would have been over by now, but I guess not…

"I remember everything… except right before it had gone blank, that still remains fuzzy," I thought to myself. I began to sprint and was ambushed by groups of allied Shinobi, I began to make my way threw taking down squads, trying to avoid killing, but still managing to cover my weapons with blood, The word was definitely out that Lady Tsunade was the target and after awhile of fighting threw and not being able to go all the way I pulled back and hid myself as I rested.

"I must make an alliance with Lady Tsunade… she has to remember me and listen to my story, I need to take down the Akatsuki," I whispered and felt a knife coming. I jumped out of the way and fell from the tree I was sitting on, and realized for the first time how injured my arm was. The adrenaline must have numbed the pain somehow, but since that died down the shooting pains began. I panted as I stood to my feet and saw Deidara on his clay bird hovering over me.

"Deidara? What…" I muffled and suddenly remembered. I shook it away and stared up at him plainly.

"Dei… I thought you were captured?" I stuttered.

'I have orders to get you out of the way; I had my doubts about it, but hearing what you just said and considering the past well… I think its best if I erase your name from this world already, un." Deidara said coldly.

"I…" I muffled and reached for my weapon. Deidara noticed I used the opposite hand and then stared at my other arm dangling lifelessly. He began throwing explosions and shouting names of jutsus as I began to run off deeper into the woods. I knew if we were to have a battle it would attract other people to come and interfere so I needed to get away, and after a few minutes I decided it was far enough and readied my boomerang as Deidara appeared in the sky again.

"I'm rather tired of fighting you Nay, but you're just not the same as you used to be… besides it's quite obvious that Gaara has you wrapped around his finger!" He shouted and threw a massive amount of clay. I attempted to get away, but wasn't fast enough and just as I was ready to embrace the painful impact I heard a familiar sound and it seemed to have gone silent. I opened my eyes and turned to see Gaara standing right behind me and his sand going back into his gourd. A giant hole in the ground from the explosion Deidara sent.

"G-Gaara…" I whispered. He looked into my eyes and then up at Dei who's anger had just increased tremendously.

"YOU AGAIN," Deidara hissed.


	54. Chapter 54 The Final Battle

"Gaara… what are you doing!" Nay shouted trying to hold back tears, but still managing a rather serious face.

"Stop trying to handle things all by yourself…" Gaara paused, and Nay remembered what Deidara had told her in that dream she had awhile ago.

**"Hm? You're forgetting that you're the one that's been selfish. You leave people because of what YOU want. You don't consider anyone else's feelings but your own. You don't stop to think how your actions are going to affect the people around you, do you? You think you're the only one bad things happen to?"**

She suddenly felt guilty, but didn't know how to tell him that she didn't want him to get injured again without making it obvious. She never thought she'd think it this way again, but Deidara was right. She never really cared for how others would feel for what she would do.

"I'm not going to leave you," Gaara suddenly added to her surprise. A slight blush grew on Nayumei's face and she quickly turned away and stared at the ground. She fought the tears and was able to maintain them, but then she saw the blood dripping from Gaara's side and the blush was then replaced with a look of sorrow.

"I did that…" She whispered shakily. "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it. As long as you're okay…"

His last words seemed to just hang there in the air between them. She was too ashamed to look him in the eyes and continued to stare at the ground. With her free hand she tried to pick up her injured arm and got back to her feet, after falling from the attempt of escaping.

"What a cute reunion…. It makes me sick!" Deidara shouted and threw some of his spider clay bombs. Nay stood by Gaara as the floor was suddenly filled with them. His sand quickly began to cover them as they started going off. Several jumping right at them, all at different directions and Gaara's sand protecting them from the ones they missed. Nay used her boomerang to fight off the rest and noticed that they had set up wire traps around them while they were busy fighting. They all looked the same that they hadn't noticed some circling around. All at once they set off and Gaara's sand made a dome around them. When the sand dispersed a few minutes later they were surrounded by smoke. Gaara fell to his knees surprising Nay who then held onto him as his hands fell to the ground to support him from falling completely.

"You've lost a lot of blood Gaara…. Let me handle this… please…" Nayumei pleaded, but Gaara remained silent and then warned her that Deidara was no longer in the sky, but somewhere nearby hiding. Nayumei rose to her feet and scanned the area carefully. She knew now that it was her turn to protect Gaara. Though she never thought she would ever find herself in this situation for it was always him saving her or protecting her, but for the first time, she saw him injured and vulnerable.

"My my, the Kazekage is down? Was that really all you had! My Nay I can't believe you would go for someone so weak, un. I'm offended," Deidara shouted and then appeared behind her almost kicking her across the face, but only managing to scrap her chin. She fell on her knees and quickly jumped back up and stared at him as he was ready to attack again. Gaara stood and faced Deidara who was now in the middle of him and Nay. The silence suddenly fell as Deidara looked at his two opponents.

"Nay step aside and let me fight him," Gaara muffled.

"No! You're injured!" She shouted. Deidara smirked and remained in his battle stance that reminded Gaara of Naruto.

"Go on Gaara, come at me," Deidara shouted and used one of his special jutsus. Nay stood frozen not sure if she should interfere because of her feelings or only watch because it was a pride thing for Gaara and didn't want to anger him. She watched as the two engaged in combat, with it starting out to be pretty even. Gaara was doing a good job of hiding pain on his face and was back to his usual speed. Deidara on the other hand was now slower than before, after Gaara had used his sand coffin on his right leg.

**~::.::.::.::.::A while later::.::.::.::.::~**

"Deidara has to die… Why does that idea sadden me? I should be glad…" I thought to myself. The whole thing was strange to watch. It was as if they were fighting over me, with Deidara's constant rants of Gaara just being in the way. Why was he so jealous if what we had wasn't even anything? Why did Gaara care so much! If only Deidra was never brought back from the dead, if only my memories weren't messed with again and causing things to drag on, if only the stupid war never started. I just wanted to try and live a happy life now that my mother was at peace, but it seemed like that would just never happen after all. I was beginning to wonder what it was that I did that was so bad. But remembered Deidara's words that I did seem to think I was the only one that bad things happened to. I stared down at my arm that was a strange color and then up at Gaara and Deidara when I heard Deidara let out a cry. He managed to punch Gaara in the face and sent him back a few feet.

"What's going on with his sand? Is it really possible for it to slow down or run out?" I thought to myself as I watched Deidara begin to walk towards him, ready to finish him off.

"Stop!" I shouted and began to sprint towards them, Deidara saw me and called out my name desperately, but before I could even process what he said was blown back a few feet and slammed against a tree trunk. My whole body had gone numb and I could feel blood running down my legs. Deidara ran towards me calling my name and at first it didn't even sound like it was my name that he was saying. He placed his hand on my shoulder and looked into my eyes that were just then coming back to focus.

"Gaara…." I mumbled which angered the now no longer worried Deidara. He picked me up by the neck and pinned me against that same tree and smirked.

"If you love him so much then I'll kill you both and then you can live happily ever after in another world," He spat and began to tighten his grip. I placed my hands on his and attempted to mumble something, but instead began to feel dizzy and was losing my touch on reality. Suddenly Deidara was swung off into some trees and I collapsed to my knees. Gaara kneeled in front of me and lifted my chin up to look into his eyes, only to ask me if I was okay. He appeared fine, but I wasn't aware of what had happened to me anymore. I must have been in shock and my body hadn't bounced back from the trauma yet. It seemed like the situation reversed back and I was now the damsel in distress, yet again. I sighed and with Gaara's help was back on my feet. We were helping each other balance as we waited for Deidara to come back out.

"Knowing him he'll be setting some sort of trap or preparing one of his special jutsus that I haven't seen yet…" I stated as Gaara nodded and looked around cautiously.

"You should stay here, I'll try and end this quickly…" Gaara added.

"No… I… I don't want to," I tried, but was afraid to finish my thought he stared at me now as if he knew what I was going to say next, like he was reading my mind. I tried to clear my head, suddenly filled with paranoid thoughts. He tightened his grip on my shoulder as he began to fall to his knees again. "Gaara!"

Seeing Gaara like that was beginning to scare me and I gently leaned him against the tree and attempting to stand back up myself.

"We can't keep this up any longer… I have to end it now."

"Come out Deidara!" I shouted and picked up my boomerang from the floor. "Kill me, now's your chance!"

Just then I heard him call out my name in a way that I hadn't heard in a long time, a genuine worrisome call to watch out. I turned around and nearly was hit by a spear that looked oh so familiar. I stared up ahead as Zetsu came from the shadows and Deidara jumped down from a tree and glared at him. Deidara was able to counter Zetsu's attack, and saving me in the process. I stared at the two dumbfounded as to why Dei had gone against Zetsu when they were both supposedly after me. I thought the whole point of this battle was Deidara getting me out of the way, he did attack me first. I felt my head begin to spin as I stumbled back beginning to breathe heavily.

"What do you think you're doing Deidara!" Zetsu viciously scolded him. Zetsu had been attempting to kill me as well and though I made it appear I was back on his side, he must have also realized what I was doing. I looked over at Gaara who was watching silently.

"I know she's regained her memories and all, but change of plans…" Deidara said coldly. Zetsu watched him cautiously as he reached into his pocket. "We're taking her alive."

I began to step back with my panic rising as I was just thinking a moment ago that Deidara was going to help me. I guess that was rather foolish of me… I don't know why I keep hoping things will work out, they never do. Deidara quickly turned around and threw a bomb right towards my face, with only seconds I leaped to the side and rolled towards some bushes as it went off and I felt a burn on my back.

"I'll make sure Gaara watches every bit of this, "Deidara said coming up from behind and grabbing me by my ripped cloak.

"I thought you were going to take me alive…" I muffled.

"No. I just want to be the one to finish you. Not Zetsu." He smirked. "Any last words? Perhaps if you admit you still have feelings for me I could make it easier on you…" He said changing his tone of voice. I watched as Gaara struggled to stand, but wasn't able too. Was it that since the Shukaku was no longer with Gaara that he had suddenly weakened? Or was it that something was on his mind that seriously disturbed his concentration. I never thought his concentration was needed, I always believed the sand would always automatically come to his defense?

"Gaara…" I heard my voice echoing in my head and slowly closed my eyes as Deidara put the knife to my neck.

"Just do it already Deidara… Please. I've been waiting for this moment for so long… just end my misery now. Just do it!" I shouted harshly. He raised his knife and just as I was feeling the spot on my back ache where I knew he would hit, waiting for the impact of the blade, I watched as he threw it at Zetsu instead and caused him to disappear into some trees.

"What…" I gasped and stared wide eyed before Deidara pushed me down violently. I looked up at him as he walked over to a tree and slammed his fist into it.

"DAMN IT. I can't do it…" He whispered to himself. "Hm, it should be easy! But it's not…" He swiftly turned around and extended out his hand for me to take it. I hesitated but saw that strange look in his eye from when I first laid eyes on him. With my hand shaking I took his and he lifted me up. I stared at his motionless face, not even knowing if he was a friend or foe anymore. He kept going back and forth and I was beginning to feel as if this would never end.

"Nay… I can't kill you because I think I…" Deidara began and I felt myself get nauseous. I quickly looked over at Gaara, but Deidara saw this and got in my way, blocking his view. "Damn it! I was there first! I was there for you way before he was. Now listen to me Nay, come with me and we can start over. You won't have to worry about getting other people hurt or even your curse mark making you hurt others. With me you can live peacefully!"

"You're crazy!"

"He's right Nay…" Gaara suddenly spoke, now standing just a few feet behind Deidara. I looked at him speechless as he pressed his hand onto his side. "Go with him."

My eyes began to burn as tears began to form at the corner of my eyes. It was hard to grasp that after everything Gaara was insisting I go. Just what was he planning?

"What are you thinking!" I shouted with a shaky voice as I tried to fight back the tears, something that had become a habit.

"You need to go! You don't belong with us…" Gaara added. He sounded completely serious. My heart began to race and a sick feeling formed at the pit of my stomach, my breathing becoming rapid and my head beginning to throb.

"I…. I don't understand…" I stuttered. It felt as if my body was about to give out on me and a pain in my chest was causing me to lose the ability to breathe properly. It stung so bad that at that moment I wished more than ever to no longer live. I never thought this would ever happen, but then again… nothing ever works out like I want it to.

"Hm… Not much of a knight in shining armor anymore, un…" Deidara smirked, pleased with the sudden rejection, and humiliation I was being put threw. I placed my only good hand on my chest and fell silent. Just then sand came from the right and wrapped itself around Deidara. It lifted him from the ground and nearly covered him completely until I began to shout to stop. Gaara looked at me in a puzzling way as he explained what he said was only for a distraction and he would never mean any of it.

"Put Deidara back down, or I'll kill you this very second," I snapped. Gaara's eyes tried to hide that sudden pain, and he did as what I had asked. Deidara fell to the ground roughly and looked over at me.

"I'll go with you Deidara… I no longer wish to live this life…"

"Nayumei… I didn't mean what I said. You should know that. Believe in me…" Gaara said softly.

"No…. No!" I hissed and began to shake my head.

"I always believed in you…. Why can't you still believe in me? I would never intentionally do you any harm…" Gaara said plainly. I looked up at him as our eyes met and I felt that same feeling from before all over again. Just as I was going to speak, Deidara had quickly gotten up and picked up the spear Zetsu had thrown.

"I've had enough of you! Nay can be at peace when you're finally out of the picture!" He shouted and threw the spear at Gaara who had collapsed again.

"No!" I shouted and felt myself sprinting towards it. It was as if my world had been put on pause and I was trying to run through quick sand. I extended my hand out towards Gaara as I felt the blood splatter and my legs give in. I fell to my knees, and felt my hair fall slow against my cheeks. I stared into Gaara's eyes as his lips moved saying something, but I didn't understand. I looked down at the spear now through my chest and the puddle of blood that had formed underneath me.

"Why…" Gaara whispered. I slowly lifted my head to face him again and attempted a smile as I knew that I was finally granted what I wanted… to end it all.

"Because…." I paused a moment. "Because I love you Gaara..."


	55. Chapter 55 A Love Like No Other

"Wh…what?" Gaara nervously asked. The breeze picked up and ruffled with his silky red hair that seemed to radiate in the sun's heat. Nothing else seemed to matter at that slight moment. It didn't even matter if he didn't feel the same way. As long as I finally had the guts to tell him, even if things would forever be awkward between us after this, at least I would know. I just needed that reassurance whether he did or not. The pain had a late reaction and I suddenly found myself flinching and panting heavily as the spear almost knocked me forward. I took my gaze away from him, and slowly began to pull the spear from my chest. Gaara remained silent until I had stopped pulling on it.

"You'll worsen your injury…" He said strangely. I heard Deidara's footsteps coming toward us and with one hard tug I pulled the rest of the spear out. I bit my lip as to not let the sounds of pain come threw and stumbled to turn myself and face Deidara.

"Nay…" Deidara spoke soothingly. "So in the end you picked Gaara…"

"Dei…" I whispered and attempted a smile as he walked closer, seeming completely harmless."What we had was a very long time ago. And it wasn't anything special. You know that very well…"

"Hm… Yes I know, un."

"I'm sorry." And with the last of my strength I shot the spear threw his chest and watched as he fell to his knees staring at it. I was able to pierce him directly threw the heart and within seconds he collapsed to his side and laid motionless. I collapsed to my knees and held onto my chest, now seeping out blood that I wasn't able to contain. I began to fall backwards and closed my eyes preparing for the impact with the hard cold ground, but instead landed into Gaara's arms. His hand rested under my neck for support. The tears slowly began to fall as I stared up ahead avoiding his gaze.

"My time has finally come…." I said gently.

"No… we'll get you some help. You just try and rest now," Gaara spoke in such a way that made it obvious he was holding back emotions.

"Gaara…. We both know…" I started, but he interrupted me with a raised voice assuring me that I was going to be fine. I looked upon his face, and told him that I would hope to dream of it forever and that at least for once in my life I finally felt happy. I felt him slightly tremble as if he was holding back tears himself. It reminded me of when I was holding my mother as she died, and I began to sob as Gaara gripped my hand. It had become very difficult to breath and I could no longer move. My body had gone stiff and the blood continued to spill. It almost seemed like we weren't in the middle of a war anymore, for it had fallen absolutely silent. It seemed as if nothing else existed in the world except for me and him. I looked around as I asked where Zetsu had gone and he simply stated that he left awhile ago. It began to sprinkle, and then soon pouring rain. I flinched when the first few drops landed on my forehead and locked eyes with Gaara who was shaking from the cold and loss of blood.

"Tell the others that I'm so sorry for everything… I never meant any of this to happen…." I tried, but my voice faded out to a quieter tone as I tried to swallow back blood. I was feeling nauseous from it.

"You'll be able to tell them yourself Nay… stop thinking negative thoughts. You'll be fine. I… I promise," He whispered. The sound of raindrops falling into already formed puddles surrounded the air around us and I looked into his beautiful eyes and attempted a smile.

"Love…" Nay thought to herself. "Is this really what it feels like? I'm glad I was able to experience it. Even if it wasn't for long… but I have to know… "Just then I jerked forward and coughed up some blood and felt as if my wound had opened even more, I pressed on it with my hand and attempted to sit, but Gaara insisted I lay back down. The sound of my heart pumping got louder to me and soon it became all I could hear, I fell back motionless and stared up at the sky, as it got louder and louder and then it slowed down and it began to fade out.

"I'm sorry Gaara…"

"Stay with me Nay! I love you…" I heard Gaara say desperately. Hearing him say it, actually say it, made my heart begin to race all over again, I forced my eyes to stay open and locked eyes with him yet again as I wanted to hear those wonderful words over and over again. He tightened his grip and pulled me closer to his chest.

"Wh-what?" I heard myself repeat.

"I love you. That's why you need to live. For me, for yourself and for your friends! And your mother…" Gaara sounded like he was trying his hardest to stay calm, but tears began to fall from the corner of his eyes.

"Okay," I said."I don't ever want to leave you…" I spoke softer and he pulled me in even closer. I wanted to kiss him, but not while blood was spilling from the corner of my mouth. I felt myself smile as I rested my head on his chest and felt myself begin to fall asleep. Suddenly, rustling in some bushes nearby startled us, and we watched Zetsu begin to walk towards us.

"How tragic… In love, but fated to die," Zetsu's black half spoke as the white half laughed menacingly. Like after everything that we've endured wasn't enough. Gaara gently laid me on the floor and rose to his feet to face him.

"Its time for you to die," Gaara said calmly. Zetsu began using attacks, but Gaara was able to corner him and used his sand coffin on him. The last I heard from him was a cry like he sounded like he was in actual, true pain and then when the sand dispersed covered in blood, he was gone. I tried to sit, astounded at how quickly that went and couldn't believe it, was Zetsu really dead finally? Gaara walked over to where he was standing, and I expected him to jump from the ground like he usually would, but instead Gaara found his Akatsuki ring and began to walk back towards me.

"He's gone…" I then looked over at Deidara's lifeless body and then at Gaara who was scanning the area to make sure, and for no surprises to come. As I struggled to sit all the way I let out a cry and then gritted my teeth together as I continued to go for it. Gaara kneeled down next to me and pushed the hair in my face back and behind my ears. He then placed one arm under my injured legs and the other on my back and carried me bridal style.

"Wait Gaara! You're injured!" I tried to fight it, but he said it was fine."Gaara… please…"

He looked at my face that was filled with worry and the look of wanting to burst into tears again, and so he gently put my feet down and kept my arm around his waist.

"Kankuro and Temari should be here at any moment," He began, but when another spear flew from a tree off in the distant it had gone blank for me.

**~::.::.::.::.::A while later::.::.::.::.::~**

Temari's voice was heard talking to some lady I didn't recognize. I gently opened my eyes and closed them again when the brightness burned them from what appeared to be a hospital room. I was suddenly startled and shot up and looked around frantically to justify that I was back in the sand. Temari and the nurse rushed over to me as I began trying to speak, but sat back when a pain in my chest began.

"Nay! It's okay, your in the hospital, your wounds haven't healed yet you shouldn't make sudden movements like that!" Temari snapped, in a big sisterly like manner, but with a stern authority.

"What happened!" I was feeling anxious as I looked outside the window at the peaceful looking village. And suddenly all those events I last remembered flash through my brain and I began to feel overwhelmed. There was a wound I didn't remember on my left side and I pressed on it as Temari briefly described Zetsu had managed to hit me a second time. Then her and Kankuro showed up and helped Gaara defeat Zetsu for good, and then I was rushed back here. I stared at the ground in a zombie like manner, not sure what to say to that. Temari watched in silence as I began to calm down and finally sighed then smirked.

"The war is over. Everything's fine now, and as for the incident regarding you and the Akatsuki trap, well that's all out in the open too. So you don't have to worry about anyone holding any sort of grudge against you. It wasn't your fault and they know that very well. In fact there were even some people that never even doubted you in the first place," Temari explained and placed her hand on her hip as I fidgeted with my sheets. The nurse excused herself and told Temari to call if anything was needed. I watched as she left and then looked back out the window as the crystal blue sky hung over the village.

"I see. So what happened to the Akatsuki? And Naruto?" I was trying not to sound alarmed, but didn't expect things to end so fast.

"The Akatsuki were defeated… as for Madara's plan, he wasn't able to go through with it. He was defeated."

"Defeated? By who?" I wondered.

"Defeated by Naruto," She paused a moment. "And Sasuke."

My head snapped as the second name was mentioned and then I suddenly remembered being in a cave like place, poorly lit and he was telling me if I were to escape to do it then. He was really trying to help me out…Then reminisced the time I was first introduced to him and how I wanted to kill him.

"Yes I know, kind of hard to believe. Together they defeated the Akatsuki and Kabuto, and now I think they're both back at the leaf. Everything's returning back to normal, well almost…" She stopped a moment and walked towards the door and opened it. I watched as Gaara, now in his Kazekage outfit again began to walk towards me. Temari excused herself and left us alone. The door closed softly behind her and I found myself looking down at my bandaged legs, avoiding his gaze.

"I'm glad you're okay," I stated, sounding rather awkward. I wasn't all too sure that our confessions were just a dream I had or if it actually happened. He smiled, and suddenly my nerves disappeared as he walked closer to me. "I'm glad everyone is okay," I added.

"You forgot to say that you're glad that you yourself are okay," He added calmly and then gave me another smile. I was starting to think that I hadn't dreamed any of it for it was rare for Gaara to smile this much. Now standing right beside me I locked eyes with him and gave him a smile of my own.

"That too…"

He began to lean towards my face and I felt my heart beating so fast I swear I thought it would jump out. He laid a gentle kiss on my forehead, leaving me astounded and confused and then he pulled away.

"I'll let you rest," His voice sounded emotionless and I found a sudden rush, race through my body as he began to walk away again. I quickly grabbed him by the wrist and cried out, "Wait!"

He turned to me wide eyed as I sat all the way up and locked eyes with him, without even thinking of what I was doing I pulled him closer to me and our lips finally met. I was worried that it would turn out to be just like that other time and he would be too afraid or just didn't want to, but now that I knew he had feelings too and our confessions were real, I went for it. I gently pulled away and smiled looking deeply into his eyes. He pulled me into a hug and I asked if he was feeling up to a walk. He was concerned for my wounds, but I insisted I felt better and couldn't stand being cooped up in there. After what seemed like five minutes of going back and forth I convinced him, but then he said I should rest there another day or so. So we went back to calmly arguing about it until I officially won. And with that he said I could meet him in a few; he walked out. I couldn't help but smile big at the feeling I felt all over, and the happiness that had filled my heart. I couldn't remember a time I felt such joy like this and slowly slipped from my bed and walked towards a pair of clothes folded neatly on a table that Temari must have left. My whole body ached, but that was no match compared to this new found fuzzy feeling. I got dressed and looked back one more time at the hospital bed and began to head towards Gaara's office.

**~::.::.::.::.::A while later::.::.::.::.::~**

Kankuro greeted me when I walked in and Temari scolded me for being stubborn and leaving the hospital early, I apologized and then apologized again for what had happened when my memories had been messed with. This time they both assured me that it was all just a set up and not my fault and that it was in the past now. I looked at Gaara who was watching me peacefully and smiled. Gaara rose and walked towards us excusing us and then grabbing a hold of my hand. Temari and Kankuro watched with huge grins and the door finally closed behind us.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see," Was all he said, leaving me hanging. I tightened my grip on our intertwined fingers and we slowly walked down some stairs and then towards my favorite place in the whole village, a place I had nearly forgotten.

"The balcony!" I shouted and walked ahead of him, still holding onto his hand. The sun was just about to set and I turned as he walked up behind me and looked up at the sky in time for the breeze to play with his silky red hair. Villagers that were waiting below began to cheer. The smile on my face hadn't faded and I began to wave to all them. I finally felt like I had a permanent home with people that were glad to see me. I looked up at the sky and began to think of my mothers words, and for the first time, I felt at peace. No more feelings of something else to come, no more worries, no more living in fear or regret. Only the simple happiness of being in love with the red haired boy, and him being in love with me. We began to watch the sunset and I rested my head on his shoulder as it became quiet again.

"You see? I promised you, and I'll always keep my promises," Gaara sweetly added. I nodded and embraced him in a hug, that I hoped would last all night; the sun was now fully set.

"I'm so glad."

**The End :D**

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**YAY! Okay, well I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed and who read! Means alot, anyways I'd like to hear your thoughts, good enough ending for ya? I hope so :)**


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